Sitting In Paradise [REVISED]

Back from shops equipped with chocolates,
frozen water bottle as footrest, festooned
CPU with silver glitter on white scarves,
new green box to keep coffee and tea

Miniature snake and sea-horse, blue tray
white flowers and pearls on the black
cardboard boxes –sounds like a boudoir
-actually aiming for the look of a bazaar

(THIS sounds like Vogon poetry – Douglas
Adams would have a field day ripping it
apart), sequined Alice band around the
delicate stem of computer screen

Pasted transparent plastic flower and
snowflake on CPU, purple below white
paper in front of me, brown and blue
cloths to wipe hands while eating

The best chocolate there is - at
last, I’m sitting in paradise…

30 August 2013

My First Choice

Alone in the office, faced with the choice of starting
to read a boring document about roads – national roads,
highways, international roads, paved roads, gravel roads,
dirt roads – and I find it impossible to choose the boring
document, I want to talk about

Spring time and flowers and jasmine and trees and the wide
blue sea, about decorating my world with symbols of thought,
about music and singing and perfume and joy - but I must com-
pile a register of government books in my possession, declare
everything I have with me, I want to read

Carpe Jugulum, how Granny Weatherwax was dragged to the
vampires’ lair by Mightily Oats, the prophet of Om, yet the
classification of roads and the impact of transport on Africa
waits to be relayed in English - I want to breathe freely, yet
I am stuck in a 30 degree Celsius office and

My first choice, to work for a living, dictates my second
choice, to stay here, throwing in the towel is not my style
but oh, I wish it could be!

30 August 2013

Carpe Jugulum by Terry Pratchett

Adding Shiny Glass [REVISION]

Already THREE days – and in a row, and still
the headache grows; did not prepare gentle
lentils, ate anything – peanuts and raisons, two
minute noodles and soup with the net result –
combined with temperature escalation – a mind
as empty, dark and lonely as lost spaceships
in video games

Useless trying to escape by ‘net’ surfing, or
wishing a swimming pool next to my desk as
I did when I was nine in a red hot fibreglass
classroom; still remember punishment when I
failed to spell fire-brigade correctly, didn’t help
showing my teacher it was copied wrongly in
my notebook

Daydreaming about an office swimming pool
won’t help today, drinking tea and coffee is to
blame, wearing imitation stones in my ears –
at least I’m symbolising beautiful thoughts – a
lunchtime visit to the Chinese led to my adding
shiny glass to symbolism I love so much…

29 August 2013

Own Unique Realm [REVISED]

My mental screen shows many interesting things: how 
thoughts appear as literal objects, when I think angry,
horrible thoughts, flying guns, bombs, skulls & knives
appear, swirling around my head before flying off to a
separate and unique realm with a very slow vibration,
a frequency far below middle C on the piano

Loving thoughts appear as miniature birds, snowflakes,
flowers and musical instruments – like the miniatures
pasted on the edge of my computer screen –  and swirl
around my head, see how wonderful a symbol these
miniatures are - then fly off to their own unique
realm, vibrating at a higher -

And very pleasing frequency - like the sweet
soh-la-ti-doh above middle C

29 September 2013

Evenly Keen

 

Has been a bit of a race – a 4:40 am start
tends to a seductive but anaesthetic pace,
one such before you know it the clarion of
midmorning rings and sedate ideas about
achievement twist out of shape; there’s
not much time spare in any case, after a
succession of customary chores you had
made it to the desk to write

And there a dilemma begins – words thin
like blood on a Monday, spitefully one may
confide just as inspiration waxes & wanes
seeking attention spans less a drudge to
escape into aspirin, cursing time’s crucial
but it, too, won’t break this crusty ice

Recognising an impasse & its deceit says
tell tales of success, break its back where
it can’t see you coming; & we’re running
away & having fun doing it, so we’ll be on
time for the appointment today – shaved,
shampooed and evenly keen
© 31 July 2013, I.D. Carswell

Return To Loving [REVISED]

Saul promises that time for hate and war is over,
humanity en masse desires love and peace, all
countries at war within themselves are ready to
throw off medieval chains they’ve been bound
in for far too long

He warns violent interference by enlightened ones
cannot solve these problems; only LOVE can bring
an angry mind to rest, the one role left is to project
positive thoughts to those in strife – a wonderful
idea to get outsiders involved without making war

Violence will only exacerbate the situation in Syria
and Egypt. Saul assures readers we live in illusory
space & carry out experiments; we wanted to know
what it is to live without love, a general conclusion
is this makes us unhappy

We can return to universal loving, the experiment is
ended, we have proof that living without love is hell in
itself – we need not repeat the experience again, and
can respect those who still want to play with unbridled
emotion and no self-discipline – there is room for

Everyone; people seeking wisdom as well as others
seeking hedonistic pleasure. As for me, everything is
tried out in my mind because mental feedback brings
perspective - using the imagination is such a high
form of freedom…

28 August 2013

Pre-Election Currency

  Must’ve been a bit of ‘blitheriness’ in old
mate Kev announcing plans to investigate
relocating Garden Island Naval assets

Eleven days out from an election it looks
so naïve giving Opposition opportunities
to blather and dither on addled priorities

You can argue it’s a strategy that’s been
years in the making – 200 plus if you’ve
an historical bent, but then who cares as

Premier of NSW you are obliged to view it
a crook deal anyway, as predictably does
‘Gollum’, Premier of Queensland, not that

He’d have a clue on strategy – he was an
Army Engineer – yet he’ll cross whatever
demarcation line appears to support LNP

So maybe that’s the strategy. Kev’s a wise
man when it comes to subterfuge, but will
being a clever dude enhance his chances

Placing the Navy where it can efficiently
do its job suggests they may have been
somewhat lax by still hiding in Sydney

Perhaps so; but Qld, NT & WA are closer
to where real shit hits the fan – so when
State premiers play patsy you know

Kev’s au fait with this kind of duplicity &
can make them seen as they are, but will
it pay dividends on Saturday, Sep 7

Come what may we’d surely be better off
if they’d all come clean – we’d flounder in
dirt they’ve thrown regardless

But it wouldn’t stick like the deceitful lies
these guys negotiate and spend like an
authorised pre-election currency
© 28 August 2013, I. D. Carswell

Australian politics per ‘Big Bro’

Grand Scheme Of Things [REVISED]

Finished a long text about criminal activities on several
continents from Europe to Africa; thought I’d never see
the end of this marathon – the sentences ran on for ten
lines at a time – as if a breathless policeman or court
official could not stop to take a breath while

Enumerating lists of criminals’ transgressions. I try to be
happy about finishing translating a French text into English
but with a haunting feeling that in the grand scheme of
things it doesn’t matter at all – which spoils my attempt
to be glad about the present

I am sorry, I cannot grasp the joy of ‘here and now’ as
promised in channelling by Saul, Yeshua,  Buddha, and
everyone else – for me the dream ‘new vision’ is so
much more enjoyable than the present, if an event
is great it passes too fast and I have nothing left to

Remember it by in my mind; if current events are awful
they last for eternity leaving a mark, I give up - seems
we should be able to change the past, I will follow this
idea and change everything overnight, becoming the
dreamer I always envisioned myself to be!

Tuesday 27 August 2013

My Own Experience [REVISED]

A new Internet site where a channelled spirit claims to
drink coffee and smoke cigars with historical figures like
Jesus and John the Baptist is confused, especially about
possibilities, only spirits on a low astral plane imitate
earthly conventions without physical bodies

Wise spirits are presented on a par with undeveloped spirits
on a plane where they still gratify earthly desires - it is an
anomaly, supposedly wise spirits are beyond earthly desires,
this new roguish spirit describes the astral plane as a glorified
earth with physical desires and amusements

The trousers of time splits here, I leave this channel world,
one of many, according to many worlds theory, for happy
sensation-seekers who like entertainment – and move into
a world where channelled experience is tested when we
are dead; when I’m a spirit I shall investigate for myself

Until then, I only trust my own experience

27 August 2013

Looking At Dreams [REVISED]

A fresh wind of jasmine-scented air – I throw
windows wide, run outside to breathe deeply
and rejoice in the essence of spring; read the
paper standing in the sun, lay down in the sun-
room and slept during the afternoon

Awake I gather jasmine, take blooms into my
sitting room, pearls on my lamp, silver threads
like dewy cobwebs on transparent fabric; run
to the wooden deck, practise reciting the French
alphabet, counting un to cent* au Francais as

Numbers always trip me up, replace coarse
winter sheets with delightful satin, air dogs’
blankets, drag a case full of books from my
work cupboard into the guest room, place
suitcases in the car to bring more papers

Home – they’ll be destroyed at work; can-
not bear parting with them after filing trans-
lation sheets enthusiastically, diplomas and
poetry among them, all to be salvaged before
throwing the rest away

I plead for a chance to keep and sort them,
looking at dreams - and dreaming again…

* One to hundred

End Of The Day [REVISED]

So this is life, a feeling of energetic delight while running
around; I moved from my old workstation to a new one
today, eerie to see my old site wilting as flowers and
pictures were taken away

Then watching my new, compact work station coming
into bloom with colours, flowers, pictures and books, I
pasted blue paper on the windows – suddenly I am
home alone and find my thoughts

Return to emptiness; spiritualists implore us to prepare
for when our bodies are gone & we’re reduced to being
thoughts only – how will I stand it, no matter how hard
I prepare for loneliness and inactivity

These quiet times after a joyful, active day still find me
powerless to resist the feeling of meaninglessness, how
can we anchor meaning in ourselves and keep it intact
at the end of a day – or – at the end of a life?

Thursday 22 August 2013

Music From Afar [REVISED]

Desensitisation by rationally analysing situations, did
it work, yes, I realise magic lies in unopened packages,
unsolved mysteries, impossible dreams, only visions
and potential within ideals has the power to inspire

Only a glow-worm’s glimmer is enticingly beautiful,
only music heard from afar has special mesmerising
qualities; while reality entails the manifestation of a
single aspect of potentiality, I declare myself satisfied

Knowing many threads weave a life, a visible web of
reality is spun from uncountable thoughts; we seek a
continuing awareness after this life, consciousness
enduring, endless potential always untouched even

After myriad manifestations, millions of glimmering
dreams – be still my heart, your deepest secrets still
untouched can manifest a trillion times in different
manifestations and unheard-of new creations….

Wednesday 21 August 2013

Express The Inexpressible [REVISED]

Charged home, kept left for once, ended on loose sand with
wheels spinning madly – I was singing Mary Poppins’ song
supercalifragilisticexpialidocious at the top of my voice,
felt delighted in trying to be the biggest road hog

Had my fill of bullies railroading me off on the line, made up for
every time my beloved hesitated in charging ahead, watching
others going to the front of him; today I’m mad with joy, jasmine
is blooming – I had to translate a short document that can

Influence language acts and their application in South Africa;
added a photo of my daughter and son to Blogspot, even
the face of my Big Bro, all the people I love and do not fear –
not even their anger, especially Nici – always on my side

Even though she likes to sound like my biggest critic; I know
I can trust my family to understand my fears and happiness – 
tears and sadness – and my Big Bro to help me express the
inexpressible!

Tuesday 20 August 2013

Exonerated [REVISED]

She’s exonerated and forgiven – now as we speak

she’s at the bedside of a dying inmate in the old
age home she once worked at; it doesn’t matter
what her car breakdown-evening meant to me,
spoiling my small, bureaucratic life – happy in

Being my beloved’s wife, with two wonderful kids;
my disappointment about an evening with twin
sis collapsing into noise and anger hasn’t any
value in the grand scheme of things, it’s wrong to
expect her to face trials of life the same way as I

Demand of myself. She’s had such a hard life it is
grand having a twin sis on whom she can vent
frustrations, she can be freed to others needing
her more than I – if only I could learn to be there
for her whichever way she wants of me, but

No matter, all’s sorted now, car okay as behoves
a magical car and mechanic making a pass at her
simply revealed that her beauty influences men
so much – though she’s not interested as she’s
here to serve the old and disadvantaged

I’m sorry I was shocked by her attitude – not
understanding how much pain she carries, now
realising her inner beauty derives from serving
her fellow-men – while I serve my little core
family intent on too beautiful sounds…

16 August 2013

Genetic Code

Our genetic code follows the same rules
on which all human languages are based:
syntax, grammar and semantics - and we
can conclude language did not appear by
coincidence but the inherent genetic code

Therefore we can conclude our gene code
is influenced by the frequency of our words
and thoughts - the code reacts directly to the
meaning of our languages because these have
been derived from the genetic code itself

Thursday 15 August 2013

Tone Of Voice [REVISED]

How is it possible for a tone of voice to
convey so much aggressive accusation,
such dissonance – all sensitivities of an
unfortunate hearer are compromised,
heart enraged – how is it possible to
incorporate so much offence in a voice
 
Each long-drawn vowel constitutes an
attack on feelings of a hearer, an only
way to break the spell is to silence the
raucous noise, switch off the phone –
words of bitter recrimination exploding
like toxic waste from a poisoned heart
 
Survival is escape from this deliberately
abrasive mentor who afterwards claims
innocence, victim surrounded by people
who are unable to appreciate gifts she
ungraciously bequeaths with insane
disrespect
Thursday 15 August 2013

Blame Me For The Incident [REVISED]

Mother ill with flue you said, you wanted to
take her home – she demurred but I spurred
you on; now this, your car broken down again,
tow truck lost and I didn’t come in person

Niece Denise came on her motorbike, a hero
from Highway Patrol brought you to my home
where you mounted up and vanished into the
night; much later you returned muttering you

Needed a cigarette – went wordless to bed
declining refreshment, voice showing your
hurt this morning – you blame the incident
on me, I shouldn’t have conspired for you to

Come since your car is kaput, should’ve helped
you escape awful highway peak traffic where
cars speeding drove you mad, we should have
left the car right there; the episode is my fault

I accept blame, wait for you to calm down to
offer apologies; I’m sorry about this experience
I shall never concur with anything involving
driving your badly behaved car very far…

[The volcano exploded, eruptions still occur,
your fury so palpable the house shudders still,
I was advised to let you get over it, I hope in
the future if a paid assassin has not ended my
life you will tell me what happened and let
me commiserate…]

Wednesday 14 August 2013

Evil Incarnate In Her Eyes

She hurt me bad, she made me sad, she broke my heart,
she saw to it that she made me feel inferior, just as she
preferred the company of her husband’s first wife to that
of her twin sis, tonight her car broke down – again – we
arranged a tow truck thing

It was not good enough, she organised her own delivery,
angry that I did not drive in myself (I cannot tow her car)
from there she hated me, I called - can I get you now, NO,
your tow truck never pitched up, she would not wait for
him, organised her own transport

Stupid me wanted to keep our date - she told me NO in no
uncertain terms, I failed the test she feels, when she needed
me I did not myself charge in (I cannot tow her car) yet I
should have been there fixing things – I thought a tow
truck guy would bring her in

WRONG, she took control and cut me out, my little family
surprised – is that how it’s done? – they ask, I must admit
I never made the grade for my twin sis, I’m evil incarnate
in her eyes…

Tuesday 13 August 2013

Concupiscent Complicity

 

Waiting on inspiration’s proving to be
more frustrating than simply creating
waves, it takes similar measures of a
focussed energy, and there’s plenty
spared, but transient breezes waft by
bearing an election’s neuralgic excess
of raw communal distress, it’s as if a
reminder that you’re not cured yet

Good, you state, it’ll be over in a few
weeks, we’ll be inured apolitically in a
disease-free state where all opining on
governance transforms into humorous
repartee we ignore without suffering
tedium of nauseating factional ire

Yet it won’t go away that easily; life
seems hinged on inane and hopeless
intrigue of electioneering, a no pain,
no gain lunacy bared by egos stoked
into frenzies of moronically evident
flights of concupiscent complicity
© 12 August 2013, I. D. Carswell

Too Much Sorrow [REVISED]

Asked my personal volcano to be our duty
tornado: the intrigue – grey haired mother’s
cold and ill in an age-care home; hairdresser
says no more dyeing, hair too soft and thin
causing it to break off

Alone among frail and infirm mother is tired,
needs to retire to my sister’s home with a
kitchen and friends, my dad and sunshine –
volcanic sister flares into tornado-motion,
ready to sweep in and rescue mother

I promise my beloved I’ll not also change
into a fury under my stormy, can-do sister’s
onslaught, I intend to work hard on keeping
my promise while assisting mother away
from too much sorrow…

Monday 12 August 2013

Wish My Kids Were Home [REVISED]

I don’t understand it, worked up great enthusiasm
yesterday, attended a meeting, found two people
from another section who didn’t know Pratchett,
felt obliged to enact ‘Good Omens’ for them –
affected excitement doing voices to illustrate how

The Angel at Paradise’s gate cringed when the
Snake asked him about the flaming sword, the
Angel admitted he gave it to Adam and Eve –
they looked so forlorn, he said, I told them how
Devil Boy loved this world so much he refused

To let The Four Horsemen, or ‘bikers’ in modern
parlance, destroy it – oh, and how my colleagues
laughed at the scenario – but tonight, arising from
suffocating under too many blankets, no fervour
or excitement left, wishing my kids were home

Instead of camping in the cold…

Thursday 8 August 2013

We Are Inventing It

The same thing is seen on the faces
of my two wooden dolls, the yellow
one looks joyous and sweet but the
the slant of the blue doll’s eyes makes
her look as if she is going to weep

The symbolism is so obvious I don’t
want to analyse the implications of
the difference in expression - this
illustrates that we do not look on
a prefabricated world but that

Our senses create the world we
think we only see after the fact –
yet we are inventing it as we go
along, externalising thoughts
and feelings all the time

Thursday 8 August 2013

Dare-Do Doll [REVISED]

Strangely my cheapest doll has the most determined
intelligent expression, my second doll looks nervous
as if waiting for something terrible to happen and my
third doll looks like a self-confident receptionist, so I
cannot relate to her at all

I love my intelligent doll, sweet mouth looking so self-
sustained, advancing her childish confidence knowing
that a magic spell protects her, tackling every problem
directly with utmost & unflinching conviction victory
shall be hers

My scared doll looks as if fear keeps her immobile –
while my third doll’s half-smile is irritating, not at all
inspiring – a cool receptionist wanting to appear as if
approachable but not sparkling; I put my dare-do doll
in a green container to symbolise her courage and

Love of life...

Thursday 8 August 2013

Wisdom Be Praised [REVISED]

Wisdom Be Praised [REVISED]
The universe is a flower blooming, unfolding like growing
plants, unstoppable – and thank you for listening, giving
me a chance to think aloud, dreaming  about things with
which have an endearing air of wonderment and mystery…

*************************************

The whole gamut of my usual reading is gone – nothing
stops the Black Hole in my mind slurping up everything:
turning to Proverbs, a source that always helps, praising
Wisdom – to renew my search for Deep Insight

After trying it, the ideal of physical beauty seems worse
than chasing understanding because beautiful is never
beautiful enough, always falling short of the ideal; I much
prefer my mind’s Black Hole taking me on a Merry-Go-

Round of quests for the current Holy Grail or Golden Fleece
of whatever subject is most relevant to my present state of
mind – whereas some read a scholarly treatise on a subject
and the case is closed; I have to return to everything and

Dig for new insights gained by biologists, scientists and
astronomers’ ever-increasing discoveries. My boredom
threshold requires the whole gamut making me turn in
circles spiralling ever further -  forever gaining

Knowledge; just like planet earth moves spiralling in
circles around the sun – which is spiralling the centre of
the Milky Way – which is moving inexorably towards
a mysterious Great Attractor…

The universe is a flower blooming, unfolding like growing
plants, unstoppable – and thank you for listening, giving
me a chance to think aloud, dreaming  about things with
which have an endearing air of wonderment and mystery

                        **********************

[Summary of relevant points by Ronel OReilly]

"Nothing can fill the Black Hole in my mind.

It slurps up everything it is fed and then these things

disappear, never to surface again.

This makes me angry because I want to retrieve

these things from my mind's filing system, but NO, I

have to reread it if any insight is to be regained.

At my wits end, I turn to Proverbs,  the one source in which

I find solitude through my darkest times

where Wisdom is praised - and my search for wisdom

and insight is renewed.

Insight that led me to the conclusion

that chasing the ideal of physical beauty is WORSE than

chasing wisdom, insight, knowledge and understanding.

I prefer the Black Hole in my mind that takes me on a

Merry-Go-Round of quests for the current Holy Grail

and Golden Fleece of whatever subject seems the most

applicable to my present state of mind.

 It is MUCH easier and less painful than a quest for beauty.

I always return to things

search a new research, new insights within.

My boredom threshold requires the whole gamut - so I

turn in circles spiralling ever further, an evolution of

the mind, just like the earth moves in spiralling circles"

[Original essay on which poem is based:]
 
 I have gone the whole gamut of my usual reading,
Terry Pratchett, my guru, the Internet, my own notes
and found that nothing filled the hole in my mind. I
used to think I have a hole in my heart, but it is a hole
in my mind – more specifically, a Black Hole that
slurps up everything it is fed and then these things
disappear, never to surface again.

I get really angry about this because I want to retrieve
these things from my mind’s filing system, but NO, I
have to reread it if any insight is to be regained. Thus,
at my wits end, I am turning to the one source I always
use to help me through the darkest times – Proverbs –
where Wisdom is praised – and my search for wisdom
and insight is renewed.

After trying various concepts, I came to the conclusion
that chasing the ideal of physical beauty is WORSE than
chasing wisdom, insight, knowledge and understanding.
Beautiful is never beautiful enough. It always falls short –
so the next time you try the makeup or the hairstyle or the
dress or the plastic surgery, it must be improved, it must
be better – and you know that it will still fall short of
your ideal! 

I prefer the Black Hole in my mind that takes me on a
Merry-Go-Round of quests for the current Holy Grail
and Golden Fleece of whatever subject seems the most
applicable to my present state of mind. It is MUCH easier
and less painful than a quest for beauty.

Whereas you, a great poet, read one definitive work on a
subject and the case is closed, I always return to things
and search a new research, new insights within it.

My boredom threshold requires the whole gamut – so I
turn in circles spiralling ever further, an evolution of
the mind, just like the earth moves in spiralling circles
around the sun which moves around the centre of the
Milky Way which moves towards the mysterious Great
Attractor…

The whole universe is blooming like a flower, unfolding
like growing plants, unstoppable – thank you for listening,
Big Bro, giving me a chance to think about things which
have an air of wonder and mystery…

http://www.biblegateway.com/

The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel:

2 for gaining wisdom and instruction;
for understanding words of insight;
3 for receiving instruction in prudent behavior,
doing what is right and just and fair;
4 for giving prudence to those who are simple,[a]
knowledge and discretion to the young—
5 let the wise listen and add to their learning,
and let the discerning get guidance—
6 for understanding proverbs and parables,
the sayings and riddles of the wise.

BENEFITS OF WISDOM

2 … if you accept my words
and store up my commands within you,
2 turning your ear to WISDOM
and applying your heart to UNDERSTANDING—
3 indeed, if you call out for INSIGHT
and cry aloud for UNDERSTANDING,
4 and if you look for it as for silver
and search for it as for HIDDEN TREASURE…
……
9 Then you will understand what is RIGHT and JUST
and FAIR—every good path.
10 For WISDOM will enter your heart,
and KNOWLEDGE will be PLEASANT to your soul.
11 DISCRETION will PROTECT you,
and UNDERSTANDING will GUARD you.

Wednesday 7 August 2013

Laughter of the Flowers

Paternoster and Cape Columbine in Namaqualand,
the Knersvlakte, Kamieskroon, Garies and Grootvlei
Pass, massed magenta daisies to counterpoint hard
sandstone lines, orange daisies in burnished copper
flames, pink king proteas enclosed by green trees,
the cliffs of high mountainsides in relief

The beauty of these images make me wish for the
ability to melt into the scene, to feel and hear the
laughter of the flowers, to convert the wonder of
this visual, tactile experience into words that pay
homage to their unique beauty, the only place on
earth where I can hear the flowers laughing

Tuesday 6 August 2013

Not Possible To Foresee [REVISED]

Makes me think after careful consideration
now’s the time to reveal what we reaped in
our youth; be it fear, egoism, happiness, pain,
hope, integrity, kindness, hatred or cynicism,
ideals, visions or dreams – I find it difficult to
keep my ideal of making new dreams alive

Though this is what I planned in my youth
I realise it was not possible to foresee how
passing years would affect me, how ability
to be content with my little world would
evaporate as I aged; now it is time to show
what we are made of, using humour as the
only shield against loss of agility, freedom
to do anything we please

Oh to regain a joy of discovery, a magic of
wonderment on beholding sweet things –
like old-fashioned chivalry…

Sunday 4 August 2013

Pearl Of Infinite, Eternal Value [REVISED]

One day it struck me: I’ve passed the age of fifty,
realised the dreams of my youth are passé, the only
ideal left is inner beauty, I‘ve never chased physical
beauty, never made use of potential forever gone

My passion for spiritual values dimmed the past few
years, it must be rekindled to inspire my chasing the
wisdom I dreamed of when dreams still seemed to
be attainable, suddenly I have lost the will to dream

Is this what old age is, taking away the desire to dream,
now’s the time to settle down, start digging for that pearl
of infinite, eternal value: the wisdom to nurture the love
in my heart as well as the necessary insight to apply

This love to the benefit of everyone I meet, to polish
the shine of my ideals, to make inner beauty more
powerful than the decay we all experience
in our physical, material universe
Sunday 4 August 2013

She Will Not Let Me [REVISED]

The same volcano that drives and colours my sister’s
angry behaviour also simmer in me, upset by the same
things I only react differently: becoming depressed
while she turns into a fighter; I withdraw trying
to become invisible, dwelling upon the causes of
my feelings and making plans to deal with them

Minimising my exposure, trying to keep my loved
ones happy and content - going underground when
an event drives my colleagues mad, applying salve
to wounds found in people around me, switching to
the vibrations we can enjoy together, I leave when
others indulge in things to which I cannot relate

While my sister is set alight, puts up a fight,
often breaking things - I wish could mend
them for her - but she won’t let me…

Sunday 4 August 2013

Reverberating [REVISED]

She angrily explained her car problems, refused to
drive further. I took her to mother and completely
succumbed to her angry vibration; a few faux pas
later I found making Freudian slips revealed my
own anger vibrating on the same wavelength of
her passionate frustration

She stated my remarks hurt her, I fell silent from
her irritation; arriving at the old age home she
decided to play piano – vengefully attacking keys
firstly with furious Chopsticks then a medley
terrifying enough to unnerve Beelzebub

Accompanying left-hand chords reverberating
louder than the right-hand tune, shock waves
coursing through all hapless listeners until my
brain unhinged – becoming a zombie;

The terrible aggression and fury always with
my sister wherever she goes took hold of me,
forming my mind into a tornado, afterwards I
could not concentrate at the office, unsettled
state of mind brought more chaos in its wake
until I ended up in the biggest traffic jam I
ever witnessed –

Today I calmed down again under the coolly
cynical amusement of my clever daughter,
shaking her head, taking me away from all
the noise to inner peace and quiet…

Saturday 3 August 2013