Ineffable Spell [REVISED]

Tired I return to the New Testament thinking of books
already read, heart sore and mind empty, I’ve looked
everywhere, my spirit dead, there’s no refuge from the
fact that I must learn electricity terms; only by turning
right back, withdrawing into deepest caverns of my

Soul, reading old men’s words who, according to Seth, 
presented a Miracle Play of Medieval proportions to
teach what living meaningful life meant, presenting a
wonderful way for us to meditate, which according to
Abraham, gave advice that is balm to my feelings,

Is medicine to my shrinking self-esteem; in words of
the King James translation: Leave all strife and
vainglory behind and in lowliness of mind, esteem
others better than yourself.., this helps, by realising 
selfish ambition and vain conceit will only bring me

shame - while humility, valuing my colleagues above
myself, brings sweet resignation & quiet acceptance
of noise levels fluctuating with misunderstandings
proliferating until we are cocooned in loneliness that
no amount of togetherness can really change

Quiet within my cavernous soul reverberates around
me and the soft feeling of being at home in my mind
fills the office with the lovely words all weaving their
ineffable spell…

[Reference to Philippians 2: 3-4]

[31 October 2013]

Their Secret Sign [REVISED]

Don’t have a favourite book today, sorely need
emotional strength; magazines & newspapers
only inflate the gross physical aspects of being
human, mental & spiritual aspects are fine, but
emotional and physical elements are a mess -
irritation with a colleague suddenly deciding
humming is the thing to brighten her day and
by default all others’ in our open plan office
                     
Any magical tale could prod my cerebral state
to excited from depressed, enable me to tackle
the next awful translation, look up terms to be
presented canned worms - of 5 meanings I’d
always choose one that doesn’t fit, a gift to be
constantly wrong as the criteria for choosing, 
rhythm and music, doesn’t apply & my brain
can’t see meaning as being more important

It’s okay to feel better at role-play; who shall I
become, best use my Fedora, play James Bond
creeping down passages stealthily, greeting our
Director cheerfully so he won’t suspect I’m Her
Majesty’s Agent & licensed to kill - imagine me
pulling a gun on everyone who makes a sound
that gets on my nerves because they all work
for Dr No - and that is their secret sign!

[31 October 2013]

Their Secret Sign

Sorely in need of emotional reinforcement and
not a favourite book with me - - magazines and
newspapers only reinforce the horrible physical
aspect of being human, the mental and spiritual
aspects are fine, but the emotional and physical
are a mess, irritation with a colleague suddenly
deciding humming is just the thing to brighten
her day and by default everybody else’s in the
open plan office

Any magical tale would change my mental station
from depressed to excited and enable me to tackle
the next awful translation, looking up terms to be
confronted with a can of worms, with 5 meanings
for one word I always choose the one that doesn’t
fit, it is a gift, to be constantly wrong because the
real criteria for choosing - rhythm and music - do
not apply and my brain refuses to see meaning as
being more important

It is possible to feel better by playing a role, who
shall I become – best is to use my Fedora to play
at being James Bond, creeping down the passage
stealthily, greeting our Director jovially so he can
not suspect I am here on Her Majesty’s business
and have a license to kill, imagine pulling a gun
on everyone who makes a sound that gets on my
nerves because they all work for Dr No and this
is their secret sign

30 October 2013

Money-spinning Poseurs

I read everything and the moment a person claims
only he/she is right and all the others are wrong, I
stop reading them. One pre-condition I set is that a
person admit his/her viewpoint is only one among
many AND the others ARE EQUALLY VALID –
and that the reader must refer to own experience &
observation when choosing adherence and beliefs.

I read on until meeting commercialism or bigotry
then leave that source.  Whatever wonderful and
spiritual truth or event or experience is out there,
whenever schemers come across it, they turn it
into a money-making business.

This never tarnishes the truth or beauty or wonder
of the original insight, it only means readers must
take the jewels of wisdom and leave the money-
spinning poseurs immediately.

Never throw out the baby with the bath water; all
beautiful babies of INSIGHT are immediately ap-
propriated by pirates and false prophets and dis-
ciples; take the baby and run - leave the money-
mongers to themselves, let them defraud each
other, they have their own harmonics…

Free Access [REVISED]

With unrestricted Web access for investigating all
viewpoints in writing - i.e., those of the mavericks,
spirituals, the sciences, religions, philosophies &
channellings, histories, cultures, civilisations, hidden
knowledge, alternative viewpoints, holograms and
quantum mechanics, interlocked particles, parallel
universes and dark matter and relativism and
mysterious portals and multiverses - we

Have a new mental freedom, an ability to window-
shop in the marketplace of ideas, new perspectives
and insight with access to previously inaccessible
information; only those who cannot read or who’s
Internet use is restricted cannot overcome own
education and culture - anyone wishing to gain 
wider views and make up their own minds will
find the censure of those who profess to know
better cannot kill wonderment offered by new

Ideas, free innovation and delight in amazing
discoveries – it is a choice - my experience is
enchantment with brilliant ideas, unlimited use
of the imagination, freedom compared to my
youth, joy in continuous research and the un-
stoppable flow of theories; a mental release I
shall not curtail by adherence to any creed or
groups with intersubjective indices…


[My reply to a colleague stating there is no freedom in the
rules and regulations in which we live like prisoners:

Your viewpoint is very valid - that’s how it used to feel
to me. But the outline of reality which forms the framework
in which we live, the guidelines of time and contracts and
protocol and legal laws, governed by the autopilot ego,
executing duties in a Zen trance, provides physical safety,
giving the mind unlimited time to research the shimmering
patterns of the mental life – and learn to weave new webs
of meanings and symbols to recreate the physical world as
we like, all in good time…]

[29 October 2013]

Make People See [REVISED]

Wish I could describe my feelings, the alienation of
reading articles in magazines loved in my youth which
now seem unbearable - and media insisting on forming
opinion, imposing one point of view; my estrangement
on seeing readers force-fed perspectives

today there’s freedom from official creed and religion
in enlightening explanation of the world’s progress as a
magic phenomenon presenting life as a wide-open, self-
made intersubjective creation, of amazing empowering
ideas known because the free internet brought access

to life-changing information that cannot be suppressed
as was the case throughout the ages using censure in the
name of politics, morality and education; all these being
mass-control mechanisms, unorthodox thinking was kept
from spreading, civilizations were subjected, prevented
 
from growing independent by false assumptions, beliefs
and superstitions; today the cage is open - so it’s beyond
understanding why many people still prefer and enjoy the
pre-digested, prejudiced and enslaving precepts of official
orthodoxy in all its mind-numbing forms; what will it take

to make people see - they are FREE?

[28 October 2013]

Cradling Little Crocodiles [REVISED]

The joy of watching the ‘Gator Boys cradling
little crocodiles destroyed by angry elephants
trampling foolish foreign visitors to Africa; the
joy of reading about mother tongue beauty in
Lullaby For Liefstetjie, replaced by tragedy -
soul-destroying death of 9 year old Elvandré
from the Northern Cape

German magazines I read reporting celebrity
lives with ghoulish indulgence in their affairs
improves vocabulary, but I detest this kind of
news and firmly feel the paparazzi should be
shot on sight; I don’t care what the Queen of
England had for tea or who got divorced or
bereaved or was recently killed

Today would have been lost if it were not for
bonhomie of Guy’s boisterous Triple D - this
flavoured food delicious; now time to turn off
the lights - thankful for rain - hoping to sleep
tonight; wishing to exchange present reality
for another universe existing in the dark
behind my eyes

[26 October 2013]

Context

A page so relevant, not flippant or surreal 

except to those who were never there; nor 

to be taken lightly as it set the stage for the 

many icons now accepted gratefully, it was 

a time where we all grew into adulthood or 

hid away from consequence of not playing 

a part - all the images say it discretely and 

artifice is tasked a dearth of flashy chrome 

It was where we progressed from dreams 

to concrete reality in songs and symbols - 

proud of who we were yet aware of bigger 

events colouring contexts of our existence 

and we learned to express ourselves with 

the gleeful honesty we still cherish today 

© 24 October 2013, I. D. Carswell

http://www.flickr.com/photos/blast_of_the_past/ 

Joy Of Being Here [REVISED]

A wonderful day with rusks, sugared chocolate, wafers,
passing out repeatedly - yet glorious with life; suddenly
I talk like an organ again, fast and furious, no stopping
for breath - driving like a fiend, swerving right and left

Knowing expensive BMW’s will take flight - music at full
volume in the office to drown interminably loud gurgled
exclamations of my bubbling colleague – and I sang while
entering and leaving the building

Farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye, Sound of Music not
good enough for Annette, she clamoured for The Student
Prince - Adieu, good friends I say Adieu, I can no longer
stay with thee – I know it, started the song correctly

There is a Tavern in the Town - noisy descent in the
lift, driving home even better than early morning - I
very seldom feel so happy in my skin as I do today,
wish I could always eat the foodstuff that does this

For me - and sing for the joy of being here!

Thursday 24 October 2013


[ORIGINAL:]

Wonderful, wonderful day, rusks, passing out repeatedly,
sugar in chocolate and wafers; yet glorious life, suddenly
I talked like an organ again, fast and furious, no stopping
for breath - driving like a fiend, swerving left and right

Knowing expensive BMW’s will take flight- music full
volume in the office to drown out the interminable noise
of loud exclamations as my bubbling colleague gurgled
all day – I sang while entering and leaving the building

So long, auf wiedersehen, goodbye, Sound of Music not
good enough for Annette, she clamoured for The Student
Prince - Adieu, good friends I say Adieu, I can no longer
stay with thee  – I know it, started the song correctly
 
There is a Tavern in the Town - noisy descent in the
lift, driving home even better than early morning - I
very seldom feel as happy in my skin as I do today,
wish I could eat the food that does this for me
 
All the time & always sing for the joy of being here!

Thursday 24 October 2013

Overlapping Images [REVISED]

Sending out positive signals to attract affirmative events
works if being reassured makes one see ‘good’ things,
if it changes the world intrinsically its quite irrelevant, the
results are the same; time became thick treacle today,
heavy eyelids, doing research, I rallied,

Went out with my lucky Fedora, greeted happy Thelma
from security, laughed with Sharon from IT and fatigue
was gone, movement, enthusiasm fixed my gyroscope,
sailed on, bought wafers all flavours strawberry, vanilla
and chocolate, munching right through Burundi, a small

Country next to the Congo, pictures of drummers in white
and blue - kicking up dust - holding drums high; marched
to the car, found Pratchett’s Disc-world book on hell as a
bureaucracy illustrated by Josh Kirby, laughed; pictures
of the Tezumen, the devil in a modern red suit,

Seething because the gods spurned the cocktail party
he organised to show them goodwill and peace on earth -
or at least he thought so, sort of - I’m still laughing, a
marvelous surprise - now I know intrinsically how the
world splits when we go back in time:

Every change sends events in a different direction, then
different places and times meet up, flow together again
overlapping images creating holograms, choices made
in one world are changed in the next existing in the
same space and time, both mirroring each other

Like strings of pearls in Indra’s heaven!

23 October 2013


[ORIGINAL:]

Sending out positive signals to attract positive events
works - whether being positive makes one recognise
good things or changes the world intrinsically is quite
beside the point, result is the same, time became thick
treacle this morning, heavy eyelids, doing research

I rallied, went out with my lucky Fedora, greeted happy
Thelma from security, laughed with Sharon from IT and
gone the fatigue, movement and enthusiasm fixed my
gyroscope, sailing on, bought wafers all flavours straw-
berry, vanilla and chocolate, munching right through

Burundi, a small country next to the Congo, pictures of
drummers in white and blue - kicking up dust - holding
drums high; marched to the car, found Pratchett’s Disc-
world book on hell as a bureaucracy illustrated by Josh
Kirby and I laughed, pictures of the Tezumen

The devil in a modern red suit, seething because the
gods spurned the cocktail party he organised to show
them goodwill and peace on earth - sort of - I’m still
laughing, it’s a marvelous surprise, now I know how
the world splits when we go back in time:

Every change sends events in a different direction then
different places and times meet up, flow together again
overlapping images creating holograms, choices made
in one world are changed in the next existing in the
same space and time, both mirroring each other

Like strings of pearls in Indra’s heaven!

23 October 2013

Stiff Upper-Lip Sneering [REVISED]

Should have realised it might seem like the whole issue
is an attempt to gain attention, the sad part though is all
attention’s lost, I cannot even get service from a starved
shopkeeper, so it’s time to be rational and deal with the
matter myself

These symptoms helped the subconscious gain attention
of my adolescent ego, forcing me to nurture my spirit and
seek soul-food - though it’s cost comes as health lost, a
sacrifice to gain spiritual bliss, not drowned in feelings of
self-pity, no-longer wallowing

In the darkness of the past the future calls, time to follow
the bluebird’s trail round the world leading straight back
home, you did not see Mandy & me giving an impromptu
sidewalk performance, just heard my shouting goodbye
to Annette who was passing by

We are in the Pretoria Central Business District, nobody
knows me, nobody cares, why should I follow English
stiff-upper lip protocol, here my colleagues and I sing
Gospel songs and we all dance in the passages. I
shall continue with my evil ways

Listening to Georgio sing opera on UTube then go out
and sing happy songs myself, having the fun of warm
togetherness and shared bliss – it is heaven on earth,
no amount of stiff upper-lip sneering can give the like
to me of the joy I have right here!

22 October 2013

Schapensrust - Where We Lived [REVISED]

Memories of Ria and Susan living on that plot, washing
my uncle’s car, he in the house busy cleaning a train set
with miniature trees, laying railway track and laughing as
the steaming locomotive clattered through the tunnel

Susan strumming her guitar, singing Sloop John B in a
rich, sonorous voice - Ria singing descant perfectly, my
brother singing Old River Steamboat Number One while
yodelling to Pook-chook-chook; - a back-flash

To when we were small, four-year olds at the same low
coffee table for music lessons where I studied composers
in my high-school years; later Gerhard a skinny six-year-
old sitting at breakfast - then I was at least twenty

Quite envied him when his mother asked what he wanted
to eat, we were five kids and there was no time to cater for
personal preference - Gerhard grew up on the same plot in
Schapensrust where we lived, went to the same high school

Which is changed into a college today; Gerhard’s gentle joie
de vivre, kindness and happy smile remind me of my train-
set uncle delighting in banjo’s and toys so much…

21 October 2013

A Special Bond [REVISED]

You and I share a unique bond, a conspiracy to carry
your grandma’s image in our hearts - she’s special to
us; we shall also honour your granddad’s legacy, not
cry foolishly when he seems near death - nor wax
grandiloquent or demean his painful memory of a
mother visiting cinemas, but never him in hospital

The role he played in family, affecting your mother,
shall be his secret unto the grave - and we’ll regard
the family’s mythological claims of legendary events
in the lives your grandparents as gossip not verified,
we only know what we saw ourselves; your grandma
always treated the two of us with kind courtesy & love

Whether she ever hit her own kids or not we’d never
witnessed; your granddad’s death will put an end to
the schism of love and hate which still keeps your
aunt and mother entranced…

For my nephew, Gerhard Knight

Monday 21 October 2013

Only Fragile Glass (REVISED)

We moved away but you stayed - showed me where
our past lives played, the gutted street, our old church
adjoined to another faith, rutted avenue with tar almost
gone, dirt road to where we lived, everything different,
forlorn memories now ending in a garden

The rest is part of the cement works - everything we
knew forgotten; the struggle to make it & get to today
irrelevant, hours of study for better marks to continue
studying (a self-enclosed circle) lost, the willow tree
& lush green grass, two desks for my twin and me - 

Reading in knee-high grass or when unable to stand
dad’s voice under weak light on the porch - mother
welcoming the principal and wife into our little house,
embarrassment as dad with hat balanced on one leg
hands on hips, mother unperturbed - nothing could

Shake her delusions of grandeur - a wonderful way to
get ahead while living amongst hostile family & noise
of dad’s voice, but he had a heart of gold which made
mother seem diamond-cold - though in my later years
I came to suspect her shine was only fragile glass…

Anchored To The Ground [REVISED]

Glimpsed the reason why spiritual people claim emotion
is just a chemical reaction which ends when physicality
ceases, why it’s irrational trying to be amazed with the
well-known as if a new-born babe, because the familiar
is NOT a surprise, and acting as if it were is just putting
on a show; logically there must be spiritual dimensions
where consciousness will again be really astounded by
the totally unknown, but until then it’s helpful to know

The deflated feeling after elation of infantile emotion is
not an eternal state and the joy of immutability is to be
enjoyed and appreciated; watched an Anime film with
Nici, felt force of heightened emotion slowly abating
afterwards, realised price always paid for excitement;
better to not try and fly with the stars if the fall to the
ground makes you realise it is like chasing the wind to
seek sensation - tonight I just want to be quiet and feel

Delight of a job well done, anchored to the ground…

I Want Them All

Went for a walk but stopped at the Chinese shop, a pink
sling bag, just big enough for my cell phone, a leathery
flower on the side, immediately abandoned my project of
buying a small fairy basket with shiny silver sequins, the
sling bag won hands down so now every dull black and
grey outfit of mine – 95% of my wardrobe - will be
enlivened with a dash of bright pink

Waved to the dangerous Russian-in-a-roll lady on my
way back, the friendly receptionist at the optometrist,
ran into Mandy, the apartment block manager and we
sang “Smoke gets in your eyes” on the sidewalk, then
“Sounds of Silence” without a backward glance – after
all, this is Africa, everyone does what they like, nobody
cares as longs as you wear a broad smile

Back at my desk with earphones full volume to escape
the infernal noise and think of my next step: what to buy
tomorrow, the fairy basket or more white flowers for my
hat - I cannot decide as I want them all…


7 October 2013

Back To Reality (REVISED)

Tried to turn into a different person once - wearing a mask -
but it was too tight; a Fedora accomplished the miracle; with
it on my head I greet colleagues with a jaunty step, add high
heels and I’m Top Cat, for a while transforming as a carefree
human being dancing with a song in her heart - the hat is a
winner, a show-stopper for Dr Jokweni and Winston greets
me with a twinkle in the eye - Thelma and Philip who work
in the foyer and laughed about my purple mask on Casual
Day, jump up and down each time hat & I pass by

Back to reality - oh secret sorrow - a new document waiting
for attention - scared of its abyssal depth, cold, blue waters
yet it’s energy sector strategy; juxtaposition of ice-cold fear
and red hot energy; knowing nothing about it  means hours
of research so I might as well be dead; no more playing the
clown; desperately chasing chimeras of oblique words and
opaque technical jargon instead, now sobbing the rhythm
of Olé Guapa, imitating the strange movements of Death
dancing with Renate in Reaper Man by Pratchett while

‘Glaring’ at my noisy non-stop monologue colleague with
‘love-beaming eyes’ - my favourite phrase by lovable William
Topaz McGonagall making me laugh thus alleviating pain of
frustration with the never-ending stream of words flowing from
her lips, visualising her as the main protagonist in the fairytale
Donkeytail; while she’s talking snakes and frogs generate
instead of the shining jewels she is trying to create…
17 October 2013

Unconditional

for Gerhard Knight

Loving unconditionally is to be freed ideas balanced 

on how much is received - there is greater freedom 

declared than being unilaterally emancipated; when 

desperation rears in the eyes of reciprocity freedom 

flees, it impairs one’s capacity to give of oneself - a 

valuation snared in debased currency. The fear love 

will not be returned in the same way tares exchange 

and inflates adversity; it is not the pure love of me 

Where love seeds rare blooms in generous sense a 

peacefulness pervades, there is nothing to lose and 

more is gained by living freely, unobligated, aware a 

stasis exists because the love is free; taints come of 

belief we have to pay for love received - and we do - 

but only by loving unconditionally 

© 15 October 2013, I. D. Carswell 

Feeling of Accomplishment [REVISED]

Trying to interpret a confusing document, not able to deal
with chaos, totally flustered in the end by a light-headed
colleague who lives in mindless laughter and unspecified
mirth, noise filling space with more presence than objects
ever did - until my head seems to burst

Desperately counting words and trying to file duplicates,
free-falling into a furious abyss where confusion reigns,
completely overcome I simply throw extra pages away,
start on a new document – and there a bronze guy with
elongated eyes, pictures of bronze people, brought my

Mind to rest like clicking into place of a Rubik’s cube,
overpowering sound relenting, life good again - I could
breathe. While sorry I lost the morning to stress I am
thankful to be reconciled with my soul; for sure - my
body and spirit are not friends at all, my spirit

Sets challenges my body cannot fulfill - what my soul is
thinking no-one can tell. Although I like the raw feeling
of accomplishment I cannot love this!

14 October 2013

Own Unique Tone [REVISED]

Enjoying my wealth: books I’ve never read, Dark
Quetzal, Song Quest, The Touch And Go Year,
Space And Time Of Uncle Albert and Ballet Shoes
by Noel Streatfeild; including old favourites that
never fail to amuse; Anastasia’s Answers and
Reaper Man by Terry Pratchett

I’m rich this weekend, each book creates its own
universe - NOT only alternative reality - BUT - a
dimension completely different of FEELING as
everything, with one storyline of love because
those – bless their souls – who love sadness
and tragedy, sadism and suffering, are missing

Since they vibrate on another frequency; though
a full gamut of possible experience should be
examined to understand our universe, relaxation
means we can choose where we go in our minds
and since we become what we read about, if not
victims, then oppressors - it is better

To read about spiritual places where love is not
romance but a total involvement in existence as
loving all being - people, animals and things –
setting your own unique tone without trying to
follow the rest - or forcing them to follow you!

10 October 2013

Want More Than This [REVISED]

Cinderella tired of her Knight too soon, she dreamed of a Prince
in a palace gleaming, a castle fortress - but here was she stuck
in a house with rules - frightful, bane of her revelling delight,
she gets her car and fuel, food and cigarettes free while her
overdue credit cards are paid - she relaxes languidly, but the
Knight has rules in his Keep, no messing it like a pigsty, no
messing in the car

This is too much - she’s even expected to find a job; absolutely
awful, Cinderella is NOT supposed to work, she must receive
jewelry to look beautiful - entice her prince and drive anywhere to
partake of fun, find her James Bond and be loved until the thrill is
gone and new romance calls on the horizon, Cinderella waited
until the Knight paid all her overdrafts, debts and medical fund
and insurance – then coolly told him: Your House Rules limit

My free spirit, you are too mean to give me more ready cash -
especially money for cigarettes, how am I supposed to live if I
can’t go to casinos everyday and mix with spies and the like in
glamorous settings, I’m bored and you complain too much, you
should work harder & give me more to spend, I dislike your
requirement that we should live modestly and keep everything
tidy, I’m unhappy - my son lost his mind and handwriting - and
it is not due to my hysterical outburst about debt

It is all because of your not serving us like a slave and providing
in a better way - and you don’t give us freedom to do our thing,
we live like working-class people, I want more than this, I dislike
the one car idea, you must offer me twenty like my dad did for my
mom, you are much too unsophisticated for the likes of me, I am
coarse when I talk, but there is a Princess within…

[The role of Cinderella in this scene is not played by me but a
lovely, kind lady who lacks the rational faculty to make her sums
and realise there are no Princes, only Knights who keep their
beloved safe IF she sticks with him, if she tries to steal his pos-
sessions, the Bluebeard living within every man awakens and
threatens restitution and revenge; hope she will learn to accept
the consequences of her refusal to take responsibility for her life]

Glistening Honey Skin [REVISED]

A new beauty tip from food guru Nataniel’s sis
who’s a skin care & aromatherapy pundit, apply
lemon and honey to your face for a lovely skin,
I’m always game for anything that costs
nothing yet promises a secret way to beauty

I jumped in; here am I, face covered in honey &
lemon; do I smell nice, luckily at night there’s no
fear that bees and flies will visit, pity the laptop’s
keys are getting sticky, washing hands should
have been part of the instructions

As I cannot emulate Nataniel’s cooking or fashion
sense, his setting the table with so much panache
and preparing dishes to keep you awake at night
I shall stick to his sister’s tips; aren’t you glad you
made me watch Nataniel’s program with you

Why this discomfort with my glistening honey skin,
I got it from the TV you always beg me to join you
in watching – and I gain so much!

9 October 2013

Crystal Dewdrop Snowflake Lamp [REVISED]

Coming home I’m greeted by the weaverbird’s penthouse
rocking in a tree, my crystal dewdrop snowflake lamp pearl
necklace draped with glittering sleighs, like a waterfall in
time-warp, chair with purple mask, Thai handbag & glass
plate with flowers raised in frozen state, two mermaids
guarding my Delft porcelain shepherdess, the slender
garland-wearing fairy holding a bouquet in perfect fairy
hands adorned with beaded strings

Dad’s crystal jug, a chipped whiskey glass, cobwebs on
school desk seats, then on to my bedroom, a pink rose on
the snow-white table of creeping vines with a black radio
indicating technology happens here; white & silver fairy
wings on my bed – stopped in her flight – a shiny magic
wand, three happy dolls waving from the nightstand and my
paper-doll smiling sweetness, long sea-shell strings and
another lilac magic wand hung together with a half-moon

One lilac and one silver rose clipped to the curtains & a
picture of the blue sea next to the mirror - uplifting
lines pasted on the inside of my cupboard - I sigh with
contentment – this is my little paradise and all these
things are symbols, each representing an ideal, a
special dream…

9 October 2013

You Shall Be My Knight [REVISED]

She galloped to him at speed – you shall be my Knight!
she assigned - he laughed intrigued - declared her his
Lady-Love, took her to his castle and went forth to fight
demons outside, but it wasn’t pretty enough, her Knight
fared bad when he returned bloody and hurt, so Hmpf,
she said, there’s nothing such as a Knight in a Knave
who’s a bloody fool – and she rose up, took off – You
shall hear from my lawyers for wasting my time in your
Castle keep, not lavishing me trinkets and jewelry or
killing demons enough! She left him there to clean his
own wounds, laughing as she went – What a stupid Fool!

8 October 2013

Our Leaders Are Dancing [REVISED]

If seeing the world through purple glasses, removing them
means a yellow world in contrast, glasses and trilby makes
me feel like Danny De Vito, a little weasel in “Mars Attacks”;
finished the first check on my long document now letters by
an impoverished group await, claiming a famous granddad
had lots of land, sent this petition for aid so their status can
be heard in court, adding ‘Please also send money for
travel and accommodation’ – parasites

Riding aback of the past, not capable enough to raise own
travel costs, describing their interment project for their very
“famous” granddad while requesting money to do so, rather
mercenary - I’ve had enough of that, wish I could summarily
dismiss fortune-hunters who try to play the racial card, wish
the President knew why Africa is digging its own grave while
our leaders dance, happily fiddling while Africa burns - violins
play in my earphones to drown a colleague’s terrible drone

She believes it is her duty to sing a melody without sweet-
ness - like Africa does - nobody works for the good of the
tribe - only self-enrichment and power-appeal - how they
fail to see the future as opportunity to serve the continent
and achieve Mandela status is utterly beyond me…

7 October 2013

10 000 Entities [REVISED]

10,000+ political entities in Africa were amalgamated into
40 colonies by colonialism; this created artificial borders
through 190+ cultural groups, a one-man-one vote model
ignored challenges of ethnic difference, ensured majority
oppression through annexure of political might, and with
the assurance of Western support, economic advantage

Minorities prefer a European model - with rights & power
for ALL groups, protecting interests & preventing majority
tyranny which leads to bloody revolts - because minorities
cannot win through elections; destructive coups and wars
are followed by ENFORCEMENT of the SAME inapplicable
system on the SAME countries

Leading to more wars - the wrong political model is forced
on Africa WITHOUT providing for minorities’ freedom; we
can save Africa by insisting Minority Right Protection is
REQUIRED for ALL States in Africa!

7 October 2013

Faye Elisabeth

So its the 74th this birthday, that’s a mensural fact, 
like do your sums properly and the evidence is too 
relevant, but I can go back to that time and space 
where the last thing you were was ever an age; its 
etched in my memory - assured you were wiser by 
far than your chronology implied; was I an envious 
sibling, obviously but a clever enough chap to find 
strings of your apron and tie myself to the fact 

It came as no surprise you were right in choice of 
pedagogy as a career - then motherhood, raising 
two fine babies who indelibly represent an advent 
for future years; they are, as are their children the 
meaning of whom you are - and your partner Ted 
remains stalwart, tamed to your ageless ageing 

Happy Birthday Faye Elisabeth! 
© 23 September 2013, I. D. Carswell

Tomorrow Would Be Too Late [REVISED]

A wonderful Sunday, two purple lipsticks and purple glasses bought
to go with the purple bag; for my work place coloured dishcloths
& a new trilby - like Rex Harrison wore in the guise of Henry
Higgins in My Fair Lady - waiting are

Imitation tattoos for Nici and I to be applied around the eye, she
will have to help me; a hand-held fan in silver and white for the
heat in the office - I lay on the porch’s cool marble earlier
today enjoying birdsong, wind in the trees

Swimming in a glass dome the sun gilding fir trees; can’t wait
for tomorrow’s new purple glasses effect; must remember  to
take vegetables & ice-cream to the office for nourishing
meals; wonderful cabbage and carrots this week-end

My beloved with a lopsided smile telling us of the Alfa he
would like to buy; tonight we must apply our tattoos as
tomorrow morning would be too late…

Sunday 6 October 2013

[Since I could not create a hat like the one worn by Audrey Hepburn as 
ElizaDolittle in My Fair Lady, I settled for the trilby worn by
unconventional phonetics scholar Henry Higgins!]  

Heartache And Headache [REVISED]

Wasn’t going to give in to feelings but my body did, heartache and
headache of self-reproach; should’ve realised it impossible to fall
in love in the blink of an eye, should not have supplied my advice
without knowing exactly what was going on, should have asked

Who took the lead on learning she’d demanded commitment as
soon as she came to visit, insisted on marriage within a week -
a pre-determined plan, warned him this she-devil was a freak; no
time to get to know him, no time to build a friendship

Only pressure by a woman suffering need of protection, playing
that role to perfection; warned him no marriage based on strange
and unknown is realistic, I’d thought it an old love rekindled while
the fiendish she-devil engaged in a con - swindling him as soon as

Debts were paid, coldly telling her benefactor he’s not good enough
after 6 months constant complaints; stupid to leave him to his own
devices when he needed guidance, we both have low emotional
intelligence, that’s clear, if only the con can be recognised in court

Forcing the swindler to deal with consequences of her atrocious
behaviour, losing money she swindled, bringing him closure and
making up for the times I did not warn him against this parasite

Saturday 5 October 2013

Daredevil-She

On social media daredevil-she openly declares
she does not believe in any Knight in Shining
Armour or marriage and love, she only believes
in cold cash, grab as much as she can and run
before having to pay for financial gain

She has no love in her heart, it’s not her fault,
it’s her deficient nature and karma and she shall
survive, now the adventure is over and she can
rejoice in her postings to Facebook, she is free
to return to the beach and the sea

Imagine a Knight trying to win her heart by buying her
a second-hand car and paying her credit cards, she
has her eye on bigger fish, a playboy with a beach-
house and a bank account needing her attention
to reduce the amounts, this Knight

Was only a starting point to hone her skills, she is
going to find the right man to relieve from his money
without having to bother with imitation friendship and
love, a marriage is just a transaction and the world
abounds in wealthy suckers, just right

To be plucked under guise of love, how satisfying to
give romance a bad name by fleecing those willing
victims who offer help in exchange for love which
she finds demeaning, hope the whole world be-
comes as cynical as she is…

4 October 2013

Sub-conscious Instinct [REVISED]

She claimed looking for comfort and love on arrival -
protection from her terrible debts, she wanted to marry
quietly after a week, the magistrate’s office no ado or
friends and family - I said go home, fix your life, only 
a pre-nuptial contract would induce me to marry you

She settled for contract and church with complaints
next day, at her wedding she looked like an angry
cloudburst, no sparkle or laughter, claimed anger at
her mother; then she was hysterical about her debts -
like a fool I paid. She got pregnant against my advice

Increased pressure to be debt-free, even though loving
relations were banned I paid - that’s what men do; then
she said I failed to meet her romance needs, a liability
in life she wanted. Her car I’d paid she insisted I fix,
laughing I said lovingly she’s good at getting credit

Truck arrived for her things, I had to fight in keeping
the bicycle bought with my money; as she left I felt
relief, constant pressure off, knew I’d never love an
ice-cold, self-centred person draining joie de vivre.
My sub-conscious instinct believed she

Intended swindling me, it surfaced as I reviewed all
events objectively, she tried to cheat me out of my
house; glad she showed her colours soon enough
to protect me from her grasping hands and those
unending complaints…

4 October 2013

A Diatribe On MacBook Air

Leech  claims she’s free of guilt because she can’t 
agree to money causing this controversy, it wasn’t 
she whose debts incurred a dissonance although 
the evidence suggests a case in point 
 
Poof to all who claim she was a parasite - I’m me, 
a mother who decides her child comes first before 
marriage paged as sacrosanct but less a deal as 
much a vague pretence could ever be 
 

If he whose sense of emotional commitment falls 

foul of these views then bully for you, it has little 
to do with me how it fails to honour your ideas of 
privileges you never had agreed anyway 
 
So I’m free of it - I’ll leave - debtless, but don’t see 
that as the reason for this escape, it is more to do 
with the lack of intelligence and personal growth a 
lady is entitled to have bestowed on her first place 
 
Call me a parasite if you must - at least bugs don’t 
lust after carnality as if it is the only reason to exist 
so desist and honour me as a person with integrity 
and the power to decide on her own selfish ends 
 
I’m ceasing a farcical accord, it no-longer benefits 
me the way I intended, if that rankles think what 
makes the World go round - and if it isn’t clear to 
you then who’s going to give a damn anyway
 
[This diatribe simply makes the leech case so obvious
you'd have to be leech to not see it so.]

Ivan Donn Carswell

[Thank you Ivan for demonstrating the point you were
trying to make without indignant outrage or legal threats.]

Truth Will Set You Free

The truth will set you free – my insistence that she is a fraudster
prevented my nephew from feeling sorry for her and accepting
her orders to fix her car by getting a new battery and this made
it clear to the criminal who uses emotional blackmail to get her
own way that this victim got away

She ordered the truck to load her things today, complaining by
email that a security company was stalking her, she called the
police and gloated to my nephew that she lodged a complaint
with the police, as his sister, mother, security guards and police
all came together at the same time

He explained to the police the woman married him under false
pretences and that he used the security company to ensure the
safety of his property, he prevented her from taking the bike he
paid for; the computer he bought her – when he still thought she
was his loving wife, before she denounced him

The moment he had finished paying off her debts – he did not
realise what she was doing at first, but my knowledge of some
criminal mysteries by Agatha Christie & Le Malade Imaginaire
by Voltaire enabled me to recognise the symptoms of a young
woman at her wits end making use of

A man to bail her out of trouble, then accusing him of many faults
in order to get out of her marital duties, making him the scapegoat,
my observation at the wedding ceremony of her constipated look
& lacklustre face enabled me to recognise the signs of a scheming
woman out to blackmail a sweet young man

Only my shouting at him got my nephew to refuse to help her and
threaten  to throw out her stuff – because he felt sorry for her at
the beginning – forced her to get out, I would have felt sorry for
her myself – if I had not read her exultant Facebook messages
rejoicing in getting out of her false vows…

A Fool He Was

It does not matter that leech claims she’s free of
guilt because the fact is she used hysterics and
tantrums to blackmail Gerhard into settling her
debts, she swindled him, changed marriage

Into a farce, playing Delilah to catch Simson and
make him her slave until he served his purpose,
then accused him like Potiphar’s wife accused an
innocent Joseph when he refused to be seduced

That he was the source of the strife, leech acted
like a parasite - sucking Gerhard dry - when she
felt free to move onto more exciting victims, she
simply informed him he was weighed and

Found lacking, she gives ‘mothers’ a bad name
with her games, using a child to defraud strange
men, makes sacrosanct marriage disreputable
by using it as a pretence to defraud a victim

After blackmailing him into emotional commitment
falsely agreeing to privileges then withholding them
pleading emotional upset about money - and when
money was given, leaving for greener grass

Rejoicing on Facebook “I’ll leave - debtless, the
reason for this escape, after accusing him of lack
of intelligence and personal growth since he could
not see that I openly disliked him from the start

Used a farcical accord to proof him a fool for thinking
love was mutual” what a fool he was, how could she
stay married to someone too blind to see when he is
taken for a ride, he cannot earn respect if he cannot

See when he is defrauded and swindled by a sour and
hysterical woman with only her own selfish ends in mind
– what a fool he is, how can any respectable criminal
honour such an easy victim, there is not challenge

Enough to satisfy her need for surf and sun, she
joyously claims on Facebook!

Sea Of Perpetual Life [REVISED]

What is the meaning of life? This is the question
asked in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy;
according to Douglas Adams there is none, but
a guru, Abraham, replies:

The point of life is the thrill of the process along
the way, we are not going towards some end, it’s
a flawed premise, we exist in never-ending cycles
of joy - well it seems to me we have to enjoy life

Like Ecclesiastes says, enjoy catching con-men
or women within the thrill of the chase, be ready
to face sharks in the sea of perpetual life, knowing
such lessons prepare us for bigger things, greater
challenges, to remember what we did wrong

So as to never walk into the same trap again….

2 October 2013

A 9-month Scam

“People claiming I married for money - I'd hardly
call settling balance of 2nd hand car worthwhile”
[ice-cold parasite, R 200 000 spent when her
maintenance and debt taken into account,
not bad for a 9-month scam]

“Don't take marriage seriously - treat as business”
[she married for financial gain, if not agreed upon
by both parties in writing as part of marriage con-
tract, if she did not honour conventions, it was all
false pretences - marriage is null and void]
 
“Parent 1st, all else 2nd” [if this was not a specific
part of marriage vows or pre-nuptial contract
that husband has no marital privileges, it’s a
cop-out, made up after she pawned off
ALL her debt onto you]

“Can't bring commitment I expect, the deal is
off” [marriage agreed as business deal? What
commitment, agreed upon by both parties in
writing, was not honoured?]

“Lack of emotional intelligence and personal
growth” [What behaviour constitutes lack of
above? Vague accusation has to be specified,
what previous agreement was broken here?]

A constipated face in a confection of a wedding
dress, lack of talent to play role of happy bride,
no inner light – false pretences means she is a
parasite, out to suck you dry!

You Can Break Away [REVISED]

Three in a row - gold-diggers and fortune-hunters stop,
take note, there’s karma in our family, my dad and his
brothers went the same way, your grandpa lost his new
house for the sake of his wife, my dad was taken in by
his brother-in-law, it’s a karmic account to be paid, you
are easy prey

Self-sufficient people with normal lives are whom you
seek in intimacy, not being caught by mercenaries who
stay only for monetary gain, my dad never stopped his
consorts helping others until he was broken - your fate
is written in the stars, we live on a plane of parasites,
refuse to give them entrance into your life

Anyone needing financial help can’t enter your life; events
indicate it is karma inherited from a great-grandfather who
knew no law in his life, you have to make  your own policy
to deal with this, learn from history, know the important
thing: You can change your fate by acting differently -
especially thus you leave needy people alone

It is our fate to fall prey to parasites, make it a rule to only
deal with normal, competent, independent people, never
be involved in projects requiring YOUR money; never pay
another’s debts, no matter how much you love them – it is
to the disadvantage of both parties: the person you help
remains just as mean and needy as before and you don’t

Gain a friend – parasites are disgusted by those whom
they use, you CAN break away, quite a few of our family
members have managed successfully...

1 October 2013