I’m cold, cold, cold, freezing in the land of the sun,
ice queen wrap around my shoulders wearing purple
T-shirt and freezing underneath, autumn always brings
nostalgia and pain for something lost, I know not what
A holiday at the sea-side is all that keeps me going now,
next step is to find long socks for cold feet – and my heart
burning, fear for the coming of winter - - remembering the
sadness of death and decay, the scant time left to see mom
And dad, the negotiations entailed to organise visiting them,
I wanted to forget the end of summer by swimming yet the
cold draft kept me back and I wish for a world where endings
do not exist, only dramatic beginnings and unending love…
[28 February 2014]
Friday, February 28, 2014
Completely Deranged [REVISED]
Even explaining or defending this
hateful system masquerading as
god-sanctioned and heaven-sent,
disguised as ‘Africans’ freedom’
to be their tribal selves in non-
arable land - 13% of the country -
While prohibited from living on
70 per cent of the land where they
were allowed as migrant workers
with a pass to present to the police
on demand; just claiming this racial
Nazi system was well-intentioned
Is propaganda, evidence of a mind
completely deranged…
[Written after reading Nelson Mandela's
"Long Walk To Freedom"]
hateful system masquerading as
god-sanctioned and heaven-sent,
disguised as ‘Africans’ freedom’
to be their tribal selves in non-
arable land - 13% of the country -
While prohibited from living on
70 per cent of the land where they
were allowed as migrant workers
with a pass to present to the police
on demand; just claiming this racial
Nazi system was well-intentioned
Is propaganda, evidence of a mind
completely deranged…
[Written after reading Nelson Mandela's
"Long Walk To Freedom"]
Thursday, February 27, 2014
One Long Sigh
Do I have ability to imagine what I want - First thing
is I want freedom to become my alternative self, the
inner person who has been subjected by the timid spirit
who only wants to read all day long, I want to break out
of my shell and meet people who share my interests –
poetry, quantum physics – interact with kindred spirits
Who read about alternative science, new theories about
Astrogenetics and the true nature of the sun as centre
of the solar system, I wish to be called upon to defend
my intellectual conclusions about apartheid and the
evils of racial discrimination spread like a disease
under false pretences while engendering the suicide
Of a nation too preoccupied and blind to see their own
demise as imminent, don’t know how I as recluse can
meet others - it is a goal to be achieved to also help
my son who loves poetry but doesn’t have the ability
to make friends on his own, just like his bookworm
mom – without offending his reclusive father whose
Only repose is in his quiet crocodile castle where he
as Lord can rest from the clamouring of his subjects
at work, flee from the games HR is forcing upon him
and his team – the universe will have to compromise
all these wishes in one long sigh of contentment as
everyone gets what they want without my having to
Translate technical texts ad infinitum…
[27 February 2014]
is I want freedom to become my alternative self, the
inner person who has been subjected by the timid spirit
who only wants to read all day long, I want to break out
of my shell and meet people who share my interests –
poetry, quantum physics – interact with kindred spirits
Who read about alternative science, new theories about
Astrogenetics and the true nature of the sun as centre
of the solar system, I wish to be called upon to defend
my intellectual conclusions about apartheid and the
evils of racial discrimination spread like a disease
under false pretences while engendering the suicide
Of a nation too preoccupied and blind to see their own
demise as imminent, don’t know how I as recluse can
meet others - it is a goal to be achieved to also help
my son who loves poetry but doesn’t have the ability
to make friends on his own, just like his bookworm
mom – without offending his reclusive father whose
Only repose is in his quiet crocodile castle where he
as Lord can rest from the clamouring of his subjects
at work, flee from the games HR is forcing upon him
and his team – the universe will have to compromise
all these wishes in one long sigh of contentment as
everyone gets what they want without my having to
Translate technical texts ad infinitum…
[27 February 2014]
Dream Up A Storm [REVISED]
Again my work station is a Fairy Kingdom;
donning a pink filigree scarf I became Pea
Blossom of ‘Shakespeare’s Midsummer
Night’s Dream’; inspired by the desire to
transcend my life I spread flowers on my
desk, and in front of newly acquired lilac
wings softly shimmering on a cupboard
To my right miniature roses amongst white
decorations - I’m translating al fresco with
no web or email, drinking a mixture of hot
chocolate & coffee to drown my throat’s
malignant instant soup taste; associates
in uproar over toxic fumes of a generator
lighting our sixth floor - which, we were
Told, was once a surgery. Scared a gullible
colleague, told her spirits of the dead keep
moaning - Go Away, Go Away - on seeing
her visibly shaken explain it an absurd joke,
sorry, but can’t help chuckling as I return to
my desk - now, how to spend what’s left of
the day creating new words while sucking
Terms off my thumb or joining workmates
in a melée caused speculating about the
state of our building; yet it’s much better to
play in my Fairy Kingdom, decorating hats
with bunches of flowers, enough of them
to dream up a storm…
donning a pink filigree scarf I became Pea
Blossom of ‘Shakespeare’s Midsummer
Night’s Dream’; inspired by the desire to
transcend my life I spread flowers on my
desk, and in front of newly acquired lilac
wings softly shimmering on a cupboard
To my right miniature roses amongst white
decorations - I’m translating al fresco with
no web or email, drinking a mixture of hot
chocolate & coffee to drown my throat’s
malignant instant soup taste; associates
in uproar over toxic fumes of a generator
lighting our sixth floor - which, we were
Told, was once a surgery. Scared a gullible
colleague, told her spirits of the dead keep
moaning - Go Away, Go Away - on seeing
her visibly shaken explain it an absurd joke,
sorry, but can’t help chuckling as I return to
my desk - now, how to spend what’s left of
the day creating new words while sucking
Terms off my thumb or joining workmates
in a melée caused speculating about the
state of our building; yet it’s much better to
play in my Fairy Kingdom, decorating hats
with bunches of flowers, enough of them
to dream up a storm…
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Finding Adventure [REVISED]
Since my beloved believes my twin’s teaching me
independence (which he deems inappropriate) we
have clandestine meetings - then power failure at
work with exciting possibilities of explosions if too
suddenly reconnected - and we are sent home;
my son loves poetry classes, maybe he’ll become
an undercover poet also; my daughter has a job at
a studio though she hates commuting to and fro,
mother has a new purple carpet - I inflict my love
for purple & all its hues on everyone except my
beloved. I camouflage my new bohemian blouses
under black boleros; mother has a flat screen TV
in her room at the old-age home - with the fridge,
table for writing & sewing and great piano to play
in the chapel, she’s enjoying a marvellous life
Our roof has been fixed but my cell-phone died -
forced to use a touch-screen, attempt ended
in headache, it refused to reveal its secrets - with
these kinds of nonsensical problems I realise how
lucky we are as a cold wind reminds everyone
Autumn is coming, so I dig out my new silver and
white Ice Queen throw and dream of finding more
adventure tomorrow…
independence (which he deems inappropriate) we
have clandestine meetings - then power failure at
work with exciting possibilities of explosions if too
suddenly reconnected - and we are sent home;
my son loves poetry classes, maybe he’ll become
an undercover poet also; my daughter has a job at
a studio though she hates commuting to and fro,
mother has a new purple carpet - I inflict my love
for purple & all its hues on everyone except my
beloved. I camouflage my new bohemian blouses
under black boleros; mother has a flat screen TV
in her room at the old-age home - with the fridge,
table for writing & sewing and great piano to play
in the chapel, she’s enjoying a marvellous life
Our roof has been fixed but my cell-phone died -
forced to use a touch-screen, attempt ended
in headache, it refused to reveal its secrets - with
these kinds of nonsensical problems I realise how
lucky we are as a cold wind reminds everyone
Autumn is coming, so I dig out my new silver and
white Ice Queen throw and dream of finding more
adventure tomorrow…
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Save From Themselves [REVISED]
It is time Afrikaners learn apartheid
was devised with evil intent; it was
not good intentions that went awry,
it was evil capitalism at the behest
of superrich, simple Afrikaners had
to face tribal Africans killing one
another - when things went awry,
the rich absconded with the loot!
Luckily simple Afrikaners won the
heart of Mandela in jail, he studied
them & decided to save them from
themselves; when the rich masters
left, Mandela kept his promise and
today Africans are free & everyone
gets along famously - at least I do,
praying for the rest of my country…
was devised with evil intent; it was
not good intentions that went awry,
it was evil capitalism at the behest
of superrich, simple Afrikaners had
to face tribal Africans killing one
another - when things went awry,
the rich absconded with the loot!
Luckily simple Afrikaners won the
heart of Mandela in jail, he studied
them & decided to save them from
themselves; when the rich masters
left, Mandela kept his promise and
today Africans are free & everyone
gets along famously - at least I do,
praying for the rest of my country…
Sunday, February 23, 2014
The Crime… [REVISED]
It was alleged the ANC’s shortcomings will prove
the apartheid regime was NOT so evil. – WHAT?
They ignore a fifty year ANC call for negotiation,
crush peaceful demonstrations, shoot women &
children in the back, give Madiba no choice but
To choose self-defence against THEIR oppression
and murder of his people. Apartheid was cause of
ANC military camps; exiled and cited ANC leaders
never learned good governance, had been ousted
forcibly from corridors of power
Current governance mistakes traced to exiled ANC
leaders being already corrupt cannot exonerate an
apartheid state: NO logic redeems an evil regime
CAUSING these problems by violently oppressing
black people first place, who then respond equally
And today’s confused leadership has its root in the
people who were interred on Robben Island never
experiencing good statesmanship. Claiming ANC’s
reaction to oppression shows it’s right to impose
such conditions upon Africans, mind-boggles
An up-front EFFECT of oppression seen to justify
its USE? Wait, it isn’t new, doing bad things unto
others and using their violent, savage reaction to
such subjugation to claim they deserved such
sentencing to punish future Offences -
And in the event the agent provocateur doesn't
even concede the punishment actually is
The Crime…
[24 February 2014]
[Poem inspired by reading "Long Walk to Freedom" by
Nelson Mandela]
the apartheid regime was NOT so evil. – WHAT?
They ignore a fifty year ANC call for negotiation,
crush peaceful demonstrations, shoot women &
children in the back, give Madiba no choice but
To choose self-defence against THEIR oppression
and murder of his people. Apartheid was cause of
ANC military camps; exiled and cited ANC leaders
never learned good governance, had been ousted
forcibly from corridors of power
Current governance mistakes traced to exiled ANC
leaders being already corrupt cannot exonerate an
apartheid state: NO logic redeems an evil regime
CAUSING these problems by violently oppressing
black people first place, who then respond equally
And today’s confused leadership has its root in the
people who were interred on Robben Island never
experiencing good statesmanship. Claiming ANC’s
reaction to oppression shows it’s right to impose
such conditions upon Africans, mind-boggles
An up-front EFFECT of oppression seen to justify
its USE? Wait, it isn’t new, doing bad things unto
others and using their violent, savage reaction to
such subjugation to claim they deserved such
sentencing to punish future Offences -
And in the event the agent provocateur doesn't
even concede the punishment actually is
The Crime…
[24 February 2014]
[Poem inspired by reading "Long Walk to Freedom" by
Nelson Mandela]
How Bizarre
The morally corrupt Afrikaner culture of racial discrimination
still brands their government system morally justified - calling
all its Freedom Fighter opponents Marxist & inveighing against
the ruling ANC as communists
Rejecting Freedom Charter and Constitution as socialist, the
Human Rights Declaration anathema to Afrikaners, pointing
out corruption of ANC cadres long before they took the reins,
hiding the same during Afrikaner reign
The old regime of good governance, laws and regulations, was
immoral with racist laws inhumane; yet their propaganda just
ignores the Apartheid crime - besides it's irrelevant whether
exiled ANC leaders were corrupt -
Fact is Madiba used the ANC to bring peace when our country
burned - although the ANC falls into the same traps that keep
Africa back, failing to educate & improve the poor’s situation
thus seething masses destroy everything
Why respect infrastructure when poverty keeps them from
enjoying benefits; cheap labour enables ANC to perpetrate
the same slavery enjoyed by supremacists, but it’s no longer
policy to suppress any race
New regimes have to redress 500-year European Supremacy,
without experience they must save an illiterate continent and
refugees filter in every day – and some still arrogantly preach
racial prejudice?
A religious people founded racial segregation on the Bible –
now these people still tote religion as moral foundation
for today’s society? How bizarre, how
quaintly absurd…
[23 February 2014]
still brands their government system morally justified - calling
all its Freedom Fighter opponents Marxist & inveighing against
the ruling ANC as communists
Rejecting Freedom Charter and Constitution as socialist, the
Human Rights Declaration anathema to Afrikaners, pointing
out corruption of ANC cadres long before they took the reins,
hiding the same during Afrikaner reign
The old regime of good governance, laws and regulations, was
immoral with racist laws inhumane; yet their propaganda just
ignores the Apartheid crime - besides it's irrelevant whether
exiled ANC leaders were corrupt -
Fact is Madiba used the ANC to bring peace when our country
burned - although the ANC falls into the same traps that keep
Africa back, failing to educate & improve the poor’s situation
thus seething masses destroy everything
Why respect infrastructure when poverty keeps them from
enjoying benefits; cheap labour enables ANC to perpetrate
the same slavery enjoyed by supremacists, but it’s no longer
policy to suppress any race
New regimes have to redress 500-year European Supremacy,
without experience they must save an illiterate continent and
refugees filter in every day – and some still arrogantly preach
racial prejudice?
A religious people founded racial segregation on the Bible –
now these people still tote religion as moral foundation
for today’s society? How bizarre, how
quaintly absurd…
[23 February 2014]
Friday, February 21, 2014
Shrivel Up And Die
Been jumping around, taking shots at my text passing
by, cutting off small chunks to dunk in the cauldron of
my mind, reading that hands are tied in the real world
but in the imagination nothing is tied and everything
begins in our thoughts - returning to my technical text
Taking a few more shots - translating snatches of lines;
my soul can’t accept life can be so dead as to consist of
this nondescript text - where is the wonder of quantum
sums - the magic of geometry as basis of the equations
used to analyse reality; where is everything that makes
My heart sing - why marooned on this island of boring
texts, why don’t I study the rhythms of life? - The only
connection is in the work of a poet brother who makes
words sing - for the rest I’m compelled to kill the thing
that lives in my fantasy - the dream leading me to see
An alternative reality; there is no space for imagination
in translation, selling my soul for the bread I eat, taking
pills for the pain as parts of my mind shrivel up and die
by, cutting off small chunks to dunk in the cauldron of
my mind, reading that hands are tied in the real world
but in the imagination nothing is tied and everything
begins in our thoughts - returning to my technical text
Taking a few more shots - translating snatches of lines;
my soul can’t accept life can be so dead as to consist of
this nondescript text - where is the wonder of quantum
sums - the magic of geometry as basis of the equations
used to analyse reality; where is everything that makes
My heart sing - why marooned on this island of boring
texts, why don’t I study the rhythms of life? - The only
connection is in the work of a poet brother who makes
words sing - for the rest I’m compelled to kill the thing
that lives in my fantasy - the dream leading me to see
An alternative reality; there is no space for imagination
in translation, selling my soul for the bread I eat, taking
pills for the pain as parts of my mind shrivel up and die
The World Aglow
Intelligent, loving energy forming a golden
dome of light I request to shine on everyone
I love, including April suffering a stroke; took
care of me yesterday - when I found the cotton
shirt I wore was growing limp like a sad old
crumpled rag, I ran into a shop and found a
perfect purple T-shirt to wear in its stead
With a scarf and beads in various purple shades
to emphasise its lines the day was saved; today
I went back to the shop for another one & found
none; when my need was great, a loving energy
provided just one shirt in my size to help – thus
meditation, visualising love sent everywhere to
everyone for all emergencies
Covered all in a loving shine and brought me help,
now, while staring at cold words in a text about
controlling energy; a warm feeling of glee is
rising in my soul, setting the world aglow…
[21 February 2014]
dome of light I request to shine on everyone
I love, including April suffering a stroke; took
care of me yesterday - when I found the cotton
shirt I wore was growing limp like a sad old
crumpled rag, I ran into a shop and found a
perfect purple T-shirt to wear in its stead
With a scarf and beads in various purple shades
to emphasise its lines the day was saved; today
I went back to the shop for another one & found
none; when my need was great, a loving energy
provided just one shirt in my size to help – thus
meditation, visualising love sent everywhere to
everyone for all emergencies
Covered all in a loving shine and brought me help,
now, while staring at cold words in a text about
controlling energy; a warm feeling of glee is
rising in my soul, setting the world aglow…
[21 February 2014]
Changed Slowly [Rev.]
It was hard in the beginning,
hard to understand that you did
not agree with me – I needed
You to agree to fairies and
spiritual ideas – and yet you
were not against me.
It seemed that since you did
not agree, you might even have
wanted to change me, and then
I came to understand you were
simply standing on your own
ground, expecting me to take
My own chosen place without
necessarily insisting that you
join me in my convictions.
Because you were a special
person, because I had audacity
to appropriate you as my hero,
A Big Brother whose ideas are
important, I wanted you to think
as I do for your own benefit;
And today it is clear that you are
free to think as you do without
constituting a threat to me, and
Your convictions are beneficial.
Wonderful isn’t it, the change
took place slowly, and today
There is no hint of threat
[...and Big Bro said "Wow!"
25 February 2014]
hard to understand that you did
not agree with me – I needed
You to agree to fairies and
spiritual ideas – and yet you
were not against me.
It seemed that since you did
not agree, you might even have
wanted to change me, and then
I came to understand you were
simply standing on your own
ground, expecting me to take
My own chosen place without
necessarily insisting that you
join me in my convictions.
Because you were a special
person, because I had audacity
to appropriate you as my hero,
A Big Brother whose ideas are
important, I wanted you to think
as I do for your own benefit;
And today it is clear that you are
free to think as you do without
constituting a threat to me, and
Your convictions are beneficial.
Wonderful isn’t it, the change
took place slowly, and today
There is no hint of threat
[...and Big Bro said "Wow!"
25 February 2014]
Thursday, February 20, 2014
What It Takes (REVISED)
Imagination failed me,
staring at words without vision
without emotional meaning,
without music or rhythm or symbolism;
cannot meditate to transcend
or lift off into a parallel dimension,
my characters deserted the stage,
I seek them everywhere, looking
into the depths of my mind
Only me without a story,
without events in my head,
seeking redress in a colour palette;
finding nowhere to rest my lonely
spirit, my twin has the same problem -
I can hide sitting here stringing words
in translations but she has to keep going
as her employees fail to heed her peppery
tongue, and she’ s taking pills
I’m taking a different set
yet it is all the same thing in the end,
we struggle with easy tasks;
Wonderland Alice in mauve,
purple magenta & pink & the
Duchess in Snow-Queen blue
with silver glitter don’t feel healthy and bright;
is it a spiritual disturbance?
Maybe we were both meant to be
spiritualist mediums, heeding the voice
of departed spirits - since we never developed
this faculty we might be persecuted by
angry spirits who want to break through -
I am willing to tell you your fortune if this
is what it takes to feel better again….
staring at words without vision
without emotional meaning,
without music or rhythm or symbolism;
cannot meditate to transcend
or lift off into a parallel dimension,
my characters deserted the stage,
I seek them everywhere, looking
into the depths of my mind
Only me without a story,
without events in my head,
seeking redress in a colour palette;
finding nowhere to rest my lonely
spirit, my twin has the same problem -
I can hide sitting here stringing words
in translations but she has to keep going
as her employees fail to heed her peppery
tongue, and she’ s taking pills
I’m taking a different set
yet it is all the same thing in the end,
we struggle with easy tasks;
Wonderland Alice in mauve,
purple magenta & pink & the
Duchess in Snow-Queen blue
with silver glitter don’t feel healthy and bright;
is it a spiritual disturbance?
Maybe we were both meant to be
spiritualist mediums, heeding the voice
of departed spirits - since we never developed
this faculty we might be persecuted by
angry spirits who want to break through -
I am willing to tell you your fortune if this
is what it takes to feel better again….
Their Gastronomic Lives (REVISED)
A desperate struggle with technical text
increased hunger pains until I caved in,
ordered chips, bacon-and-eggs with ice-
cream, returned to detail this meal with
new vigour to my colleague Hanlie
She recommends publishing my own
cookbook of existential meal plans like
a bacon-and-egg with ice-cream break-
fast calling it ‘Philosophical Cookbook
for Happy Living’; embellishing her idea
I insist on including school reports like
a cookbook Fundi did; what the heck -
I shall include my analysis of Wuthering
Heights for English II and motivational
thesis for Ethically Justified Violence
All this simply to be following examples
of many pioneers creating cookbooks
with recipes lost amongst the nostalgic
stories and anecdotes which define
their gastronomic lives…
[Fundi = Expert]
increased hunger pains until I caved in,
ordered chips, bacon-and-eggs with ice-
cream, returned to detail this meal with
new vigour to my colleague Hanlie
She recommends publishing my own
cookbook of existential meal plans like
a bacon-and-egg with ice-cream break-
fast calling it ‘Philosophical Cookbook
for Happy Living’; embellishing her idea
I insist on including school reports like
a cookbook Fundi did; what the heck -
I shall include my analysis of Wuthering
Heights for English II and motivational
thesis for Ethically Justified Violence
All this simply to be following examples
of many pioneers creating cookbooks
with recipes lost amongst the nostalgic
stories and anecdotes which define
their gastronomic lives…
[Fundi = Expert]
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Peace Forevermore
Our local one-woman talk-show
on the go fortissimo on the left,
on the right 2 colleagues loudly
discussing serious problems, Die
Lustige Witwe in my earphones
Das Teure Vaterland competing with
exclamations weaving in and out of
consciousness creating a cacophony
so overwhelming I want to run away
to sip champagne with errant Danilo
And since this is my dream, Discworld
assassins also in Maxim receive orders
from me: whenever my colleagues make
a noise they are killed silently until only
I and all the silent ones are left - then
We burst out in victorious song, being
the melodious folk of Africa, just to be
killed also as per instruction - and thus
peace reigns in the office forevermore
on the go fortissimo on the left,
on the right 2 colleagues loudly
discussing serious problems, Die
Lustige Witwe in my earphones
Das Teure Vaterland competing with
exclamations weaving in and out of
consciousness creating a cacophony
so overwhelming I want to run away
to sip champagne with errant Danilo
And since this is my dream, Discworld
assassins also in Maxim receive orders
from me: whenever my colleagues make
a noise they are killed silently until only
I and all the silent ones are left - then
We burst out in victorious song, being
the melodious folk of Africa, just to be
killed also as per instruction - and thus
peace reigns in the office forevermore
Thwarted Saviours Of Africa
June breezed into the office, Did you know Master Okawa
published an interview with Nelson Mandela taken down 6
hours after Madiba’s death? Feeling jealous as Madiba did
not see fit to bring me a visit I attacked the Internet, rational
thought returned while scrolling down
Amused at Okawa’s use of a deceased to criticise the Chinese
and promote the Japanese as the thwarted saviours of Africa
who entered WWII only to put an end to Apartheid South Africa,
Okawa declards Madiba poignantly said if Japan had arrived in
time he would not have served 27 years
Japan as secret key to Paradise Lost, Africa would have been on
a different course if Japan had come - clearly this is no scheme to
promote Japanese interests, Okawa’s attack on the Chinese via the
use of another’s death cannot be the use spiritual camouflage at all
shame on sceptics like me who see deeper meanings of
Propaganda created by Happy Science disciples to brainwash the
world into believing a new world order’s arising in the East…
published an interview with Nelson Mandela taken down 6
hours after Madiba’s death? Feeling jealous as Madiba did
not see fit to bring me a visit I attacked the Internet, rational
thought returned while scrolling down
Amused at Okawa’s use of a deceased to criticise the Chinese
and promote the Japanese as the thwarted saviours of Africa
who entered WWII only to put an end to Apartheid South Africa,
Okawa declards Madiba poignantly said if Japan had arrived in
time he would not have served 27 years
Japan as secret key to Paradise Lost, Africa would have been on
a different course if Japan had come - clearly this is no scheme to
promote Japanese interests, Okawa’s attack on the Chinese via the
use of another’s death cannot be the use spiritual camouflage at all
shame on sceptics like me who see deeper meanings of
Propaganda created by Happy Science disciples to brainwash the
world into believing a new world order’s arising in the East…
Monday, February 17, 2014
Rain Check
So its your first day on Planet Earth, we bid you
you welcome with fondest greetings; it is clearly
seen you have an open pass, you’re privileged
thus to choose anything you wish to be
or would if it made sense, but daren’t, its risky
assuming anything as you aren’t sure where
your feet are set, or are actually yours - and
rude to not accept you’re really where they’ve
stated; perhaps it is better expressed - I do not
understand how I come to be here - which is -
you’d a fair idea but, if this is the first day that’s
clearly in error - so where were you before this
existence came into magical being
this reality, & therefore couldn’t be anyone but
whomever you were, whereas here your pass
permits that to be whatever takes your fancy
with you I’m happy as a nobody who’s grist in
th’ breeze being nothing in particular, and yes
I’ve done it before, really its easy
© 17 February 2014, I. D. Carswell
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Colour-coding My Life [REVISED]
Colleagues walk in, sit down and start typing at lightning
speed; I arrive, change clothing - couldn’t leave home in
purple bohemian attire with beads and scarf to light it up,
my beloved would have died of a heart attack seeing me
dressed like this; I arrived in sober black and white
Then I arranged my beads, trimmed my hat and changed
it again, changed the setting of my dolls, the determined
little rosebud-mouth next to me, a pink flower in her lap,
the wooden dolls in vases with the flowers, adding my
shiny anchor with fake diamonds to the arrangement
New pink bone-china aviary cashmere mug with a pink
cloth inside to reinforce the colour aspect, the lanyard
permitting entry into the big office attached to a purple-
flower-patterned book-bag next to the purple and pink
container with hair combs – Yesss, THIS is an office
A home from home, a place to work and dream and be;
now back to my document: ‘Faced with economy’s need
for multiform energy’ – my energy is spent, I need a rest
after active involvement colour-coding my life, besides,
without peace, energy goes to multiform wars in Africa…
speed; I arrive, change clothing - couldn’t leave home in
purple bohemian attire with beads and scarf to light it up,
my beloved would have died of a heart attack seeing me
dressed like this; I arrived in sober black and white
Then I arranged my beads, trimmed my hat and changed
it again, changed the setting of my dolls, the determined
little rosebud-mouth next to me, a pink flower in her lap,
the wooden dolls in vases with the flowers, adding my
shiny anchor with fake diamonds to the arrangement
New pink bone-china aviary cashmere mug with a pink
cloth inside to reinforce the colour aspect, the lanyard
permitting entry into the big office attached to a purple-
flower-patterned book-bag next to the purple and pink
container with hair combs – Yesss, THIS is an office
A home from home, a place to work and dream and be;
now back to my document: ‘Faced with economy’s need
for multiform energy’ – my energy is spent, I need a rest
after active involvement colour-coding my life, besides,
without peace, energy goes to multiform wars in Africa…
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Need To Run Away [REVISED]
Just when it seems I’m resigned to doing research
seeking technical terms, words become too much:
‘Strategic transverse areas comprise several forms of energy;
governance of energy network substitutions … ’ terms that
glide away beyond understanding of the 13 or so
Remaining brain cells yet to be consumed by pills
modern medicine pumps into me for complacency
while living in allergenic pain; Internet pics show
little brain activity left once modern medication
starts to mess with synapses, in stimulating or
Inhibiting secretion of serotonin and dopamine
while upsetting reabsorption cycles; with all my
brain cells dying 13 is overoptimistic as a guess
probably - thus there is not enough to carry on
translating boring stuff - like this unemotional
Blather on rebellions all over Africa shelving
strategic plans, the people dreaming of electricity
while freedom fighters commit genocide in selfish
bids to obtain power and wealth; right now I need
to run away and leave the rebels to fight among
Themselves, no amount of preaching Madiba at
them has any effect, nothing can stem the tide of
violence with which Africa’s peoples celebrate a
freedom from previous oppression, joining their
erstwhile masters oppressing their own people
With enthusiasm so strange it makes no sense…
[13 February 2014]
seeking technical terms, words become too much:
‘Strategic transverse areas comprise several forms of energy;
governance of energy network substitutions … ’ terms that
glide away beyond understanding of the 13 or so
Remaining brain cells yet to be consumed by pills
modern medicine pumps into me for complacency
while living in allergenic pain; Internet pics show
little brain activity left once modern medication
starts to mess with synapses, in stimulating or
Inhibiting secretion of serotonin and dopamine
while upsetting reabsorption cycles; with all my
brain cells dying 13 is overoptimistic as a guess
probably - thus there is not enough to carry on
translating boring stuff - like this unemotional
Blather on rebellions all over Africa shelving
strategic plans, the people dreaming of electricity
while freedom fighters commit genocide in selfish
bids to obtain power and wealth; right now I need
to run away and leave the rebels to fight among
Themselves, no amount of preaching Madiba at
them has any effect, nothing can stem the tide of
violence with which Africa’s peoples celebrate a
freedom from previous oppression, joining their
erstwhile masters oppressing their own people
With enthusiasm so strange it makes no sense…
[13 February 2014]
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Self-Discipline [REVISED]
A self-discipline deficiency negatively influences
my self-esteem - compounded by lack of listening
skills - carry magazines when attending meetings;
cannot even listen to OWN consciousness stream
subject to a toxic cocktail of chemicals
Body shuts down after eating certain things
cannot comprehend any of the words in front
of me, feels like competing against successful
athletes while I’m paralysed - forever lagging
behind – only half a mind functioning
Limped down to the library, returned without
a book, allergy making it impossible to think
clearly and I couldn’t find the desired read;
knowing my hero* read War And Peace in
three days while I refuse to consider it
Fearing Russian poignancy, so let me tackle
a new day and try to learn self-discipline
[*hero: Nelson Mandela read Tolstoy’s War and Peace
in 3 days]
my self-esteem - compounded by lack of listening
skills - carry magazines when attending meetings;
cannot even listen to OWN consciousness stream
subject to a toxic cocktail of chemicals
Body shuts down after eating certain things
cannot comprehend any of the words in front
of me, feels like competing against successful
athletes while I’m paralysed - forever lagging
behind – only half a mind functioning
Limped down to the library, returned without
a book, allergy making it impossible to think
clearly and I couldn’t find the desired read;
knowing my hero* read War And Peace in
three days while I refuse to consider it
Fearing Russian poignancy, so let me tackle
a new day and try to learn self-discipline
[*hero: Nelson Mandela read Tolstoy’s War and Peace
in 3 days]
Genius For Intrigue [REVISED]
Going underground just like the ANC in the sixties
when the Apartheid regime refused to negotiate –
since you categorically state it’s a matter of principle,
just like Pik Botha did and all non-violent signs of
revolt were squashed summarily
The Duchess is too much of a maverick to be trusted,
you say, no reconciliation nor compromise is possible;
in this way my sisterly feelings are driven underground,
you have no faith in her genius for intrigue and courting
trouble not using her rational faculty
You will not listen when I explain the Duchess hides a
heart full of love behind her hauteur, will not take time
to pierce her armour - and it’s fine, you can’t drive us
apart, I respect your viewpoint and only ask that you
respect my familial feelings also
And it’s duly noted - this subject is taboo…
[13 February 2014]
when the Apartheid regime refused to negotiate –
since you categorically state it’s a matter of principle,
just like Pik Botha did and all non-violent signs of
revolt were squashed summarily
The Duchess is too much of a maverick to be trusted,
you say, no reconciliation nor compromise is possible;
in this way my sisterly feelings are driven underground,
you have no faith in her genius for intrigue and courting
trouble not using her rational faculty
You will not listen when I explain the Duchess hides a
heart full of love behind her hauteur, will not take time
to pierce her armour - and it’s fine, you can’t drive us
apart, I respect your viewpoint and only ask that you
respect my familial feelings also
And it’s duly noted - this subject is taboo…
[13 February 2014]
Monday, February 10, 2014
Dysfunctional Family
The schism complete, no reconciliation in our family,
my beloved decided the peppery-tongued Duchess
just too much, dysfunctional brain and irrational
craze or not, he cannot condone her excess, that
condescending demeanour and abrupt address
I realize it is all pomp and show but my beloved thinks
it is too unreal and he’ll have no truck with her or the
rest of my family, I know she is caught in a time warp
like an emotional teenager caught in the body of
someone growing older
She enabled me to dress beautifully and now he warns
me not to go too near as I will get hurt as before; maybe
he’s right and maybe I’m so calm and Stoical that she
won’t ruffle my feathers again, only time will tell – in
the meantime, I hope those I love
Can keep the peace, I miss the dysfunctional family
with whom I grew up so much ….
my beloved decided the peppery-tongued Duchess
just too much, dysfunctional brain and irrational
craze or not, he cannot condone her excess, that
condescending demeanour and abrupt address
I realize it is all pomp and show but my beloved thinks
it is too unreal and he’ll have no truck with her or the
rest of my family, I know she is caught in a time warp
like an emotional teenager caught in the body of
someone growing older
She enabled me to dress beautifully and now he warns
me not to go too near as I will get hurt as before; maybe
he’s right and maybe I’m so calm and Stoical that she
won’t ruffle my feathers again, only time will tell – in
the meantime, I hope those I love
Can keep the peace, I miss the dysfunctional family
with whom I grew up so much ….
Sunday, February 9, 2014
New Island Of Bliss (REVISED)
in purple, pink and apricot - beautiful new
tops, my twin had her fill of my looking
dull, decreed I’d try all in the shop; 25
tries later I have 7 beautiful accessories -
some sheer cotton: I usually wear black
hoping to disappear but since I am still
here its time to embrace my fate and try
to look presentable; doing it for twin sis
who wants me to be normal, not favour
a stray waif escaped from an orphanage,
and neither a member of the threatening
Taliban in long black coat nor a Muslim
in baggy black burka – I thought this to
be the only clothes for me since I found
that nothing appealed in the shops – but
it was before the advent of my peppery-
tongued Duchess making it her mission,
scolding mom for wearing wrong shoes
and prodding me; she blows through our
lives as a dangerous whirlwind, deposits
us on a new island of bliss…
[11 February 2014]
tops, my twin had her fill of my looking
dull, decreed I’d try all in the shop; 25
tries later I have 7 beautiful accessories -
some sheer cotton: I usually wear black
hoping to disappear but since I am still
here its time to embrace my fate and try
to look presentable; doing it for twin sis
who wants me to be normal, not favour
a stray waif escaped from an orphanage,
and neither a member of the threatening
Taliban in long black coat nor a Muslim
in baggy black burka – I thought this to
be the only clothes for me since I found
that nothing appealed in the shops – but
it was before the advent of my peppery-
tongued Duchess making it her mission,
scolding mom for wearing wrong shoes
and prodding me; she blows through our
lives as a dangerous whirlwind, deposits
us on a new island of bliss…
[11 February 2014]
Friday, February 7, 2014
My Wonderful Treasures (REVISED)
Four hats at work should alert the unwary:
hats are important in my life, I love hiding
behind sunglasses and old multifocals, but
topping all that is hiding behind a hat with
the hat worn expressing my mood to boot
A jaunty Fedora with pink flowers for rambling
about with a big smile, for political discussions
with hapless colleagues - then a large-brimmed
straw bonnet and sublime purple scarf for a fast
military march to the library
A plaid Fedora to wear when explaining why I
adore Madiba with his benign smile beaming at
me from several posters in my work station; okay
visitors might be critical of the clutter - a pink
fairy as sentinel on the printer with stickers
Of sailing ships on its side, the silver and white
corner to my right; several pairs of glasses and
a purple pair for fun; a yellow seahorse on my
green box, smiling wooden dolls amongst pink
rosebuds, a group of plastic dolls
My favourite with a sweet, determined facial
expression, wondering eyes and rosy mouth,
reminding me of a steadfast Charlotte Brontë
& long-suffering Jane Austin who fought for
women’s rights through their words
All things denote a being who couldn’t sit
still all day - hopefully visitors will run away
before finding my mug stained with brown
chocolate I had earlier today - but oh, what
a lovely life when I look at this -
All my wonderful treasures!
[10 February 2014]
hats are important in my life, I love hiding
behind sunglasses and old multifocals, but
topping all that is hiding behind a hat with
the hat worn expressing my mood to boot
A jaunty Fedora with pink flowers for rambling
about with a big smile, for political discussions
with hapless colleagues - then a large-brimmed
straw bonnet and sublime purple scarf for a fast
military march to the library
A plaid Fedora to wear when explaining why I
adore Madiba with his benign smile beaming at
me from several posters in my work station; okay
visitors might be critical of the clutter - a pink
fairy as sentinel on the printer with stickers
Of sailing ships on its side, the silver and white
corner to my right; several pairs of glasses and
a purple pair for fun; a yellow seahorse on my
green box, smiling wooden dolls amongst pink
rosebuds, a group of plastic dolls
My favourite with a sweet, determined facial
expression, wondering eyes and rosy mouth,
reminding me of a steadfast Charlotte Brontë
& long-suffering Jane Austin who fought for
women’s rights through their words
All things denote a being who couldn’t sit
still all day - hopefully visitors will run away
before finding my mug stained with brown
chocolate I had earlier today - but oh, what
a lovely life when I look at this -
All my wonderful treasures!
[10 February 2014]
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Falcon-Spirit & Sing His Praise [3rd version]
Pink is my night-shirt, joyful my heart, sharing
books with my idol makes me feel happy and
smart, thinking of him on his Island - isolated
but not alone, spurned - but not by the World,
imprisoned with his falcon-spirit roaming free,
reading the magazines that interested me
Sing His Praise
A Prophet-Priest-King, exalted above all others,
a scene in a dream, sent to save us from certain
extinction; a prisoner who arbitrated everything,
gracing us with his presence and wisdom, when
negotiating with false traitors he saved the lives
of all being betrayed, having conversations with
glib liars wanting all power and wealth for them-
selves - how shall I begin to sing his praise, how
do justice unto him, the Prophet-Priest-King?
books with my idol makes me feel happy and
smart, thinking of him on his Island - isolated
but not alone, spurned - but not by the World,
imprisoned with his falcon-spirit roaming free,
reading the magazines that interested me
Sing His Praise
A Prophet-Priest-King, exalted above all others,
a scene in a dream, sent to save us from certain
extinction; a prisoner who arbitrated everything,
gracing us with his presence and wisdom, when
negotiating with false traitors he saved the lives
of all being betrayed, having conversations with
glib liars wanting all power and wealth for them-
selves - how shall I begin to sing his praise, how
do justice unto him, the Prophet-Priest-King?
Weaving A Halo
I’m looking for magical authors to help me in weaving
a halo around reality which have become a Miracle
Play in which my hero grew from puppet to Master
Puppeteer who could steer a Queen into dancing,
pull the strings of white politicians to hand over
the government of a beautiful country
The show becomes shadow figures in my head,
my protagonist dancing while also cutting down
dragons, attending royal functions while busy to
reconcile the world to the rule of African cultures,
the joy of living a natural life as one of a tribe –
empowered by the energising song of Africa…
a halo around reality which have become a Miracle
Play in which my hero grew from puppet to Master
Puppeteer who could steer a Queen into dancing,
pull the strings of white politicians to hand over
the government of a beautiful country
The show becomes shadow figures in my head,
my protagonist dancing while also cutting down
dragons, attending royal functions while busy to
reconcile the world to the rule of African cultures,
the joy of living a natural life as one of a tribe –
empowered by the energising song of Africa…
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
A Brain-Dead Child (REV.)
Bloody hell, is this what love is? Must one
accept an endeared’s allowed to cut you off
when you want to discuss something close
to your heart - and then is entitled to even
get his own way afterwards?
No way! Not now! I’ll fight for my rights,
each night I’ll exercise when I come home
like Mandela did each morning of his life,
I shall stand up for myself like he did,28
years in jail for that freedom to live
In the land of his birth - so cut me off, go on
please, you’ll make me strong, eventually I’ll
also decide upon no more transgression, you
cannot provide while you treat me like a
brain-dead child…
accept an endeared’s allowed to cut you off
when you want to discuss something close
to your heart - and then is entitled to even
get his own way afterwards?
No way! Not now! I’ll fight for my rights,
each night I’ll exercise when I come home
like Mandela did each morning of his life,
I shall stand up for myself like he did,28
years in jail for that freedom to live
In the land of his birth - so cut me off, go on
please, you’ll make me strong, eventually I’ll
also decide upon no more transgression, you
cannot provide while you treat me like a
brain-dead child…
Mysterious Sighs (REV.)
Just a whisper of what it once was, four walls
and an A-line roof implied, large trees around
this quiet scene have born witness - yet can-
not advise what’s gone in mysterious sighs
I suspect suffering hoping I am wrong, there
may have been the joy of young love, a child
and then the house seemed too small so they
moved to a larger home – an inspired idea
Leaving me with happy anticipation for other
ruins and the realisation hope is the only thing
that keeps our blood flowing and our hearts
free from paralysis of pain and fear
Come, let’s go, there are more beautiful places
waiting for discovery
Photo: http://oreillyronel.blogspot.com
and an A-line roof implied, large trees around
this quiet scene have born witness - yet can-
not advise what’s gone in mysterious sighs
I suspect suffering hoping I am wrong, there
may have been the joy of young love, a child
and then the house seemed too small so they
moved to a larger home – an inspired idea
Leaving me with happy anticipation for other
ruins and the realisation hope is the only thing
that keeps our blood flowing and our hearts
free from paralysis of pain and fear
Come, let’s go, there are more beautiful places
waiting for discovery
Photo: http://oreillyronel.blogspot.com
Turn Into Fiends [4TH VERSION]
A bundle of feistiness, anger mounting each
time self-professed superior colleagues have
loud conversations on how important they are
in the work they do - teams of two pairing in
loud, long discussions on their daily toil
Alone I prevail as camaraderie doesn’t come
naturally to me; only things I have to give are
self-deprecation & idea-explication - such as
why not install proper toilets in rural schools;
pupils die in septic latrine pits; why not stop
Rapists assaulting babies & young children
by banning sexuality as a consumer-aimed
marketing strategy; in our society where the
inflamed, hormone-driven people live, this
advertising fuels their feverish desires
Why profess surprise when targeted groups
turn into fiends - society’s cynical hypocrisy
showcases the moral bankruptcy of modern
systems; when will our words reach ears of
caring politicians or influence the moguls
And when will we start listening?
[ORIGINAL:]
A bundle of aggression, anger mounting every time
two superior colleagues have a loud conversation to
advertise to all how important their work & how very
important they are in doing it, people work in pairs
having long loud discussions in their daily toil
But I continue on my own as camaraderie does not
come naturally to me, explaining an idea and self-
deprecation the only things I have to offer, the only
altruistic humanitarian thing left to do in South Africa
is going from school to rural school to install
Toilets as pupils have been dying in dirty latrine pits,
the only way to stop rapists from assaulting babies &
young children is to stop using sexuality as the driving
force for advertising in our consumer society in which
these hormone-driven maddened people live
The modern marketing strategy is to drive desire to a
feverish pitch then profess surprise when the targeted
community turn into fiends; such hypocritical behaviour
showcases the moral bankruptcy of our civilisation
4 February 2014
time self-professed superior colleagues have
loud conversations on how important they are
in the work they do - teams of two pairing in
loud, long discussions on their daily toil
Alone I prevail as camaraderie doesn’t come
naturally to me; only things I have to give are
self-deprecation & idea-explication - such as
why not install proper toilets in rural schools;
pupils die in septic latrine pits; why not stop
Rapists assaulting babies & young children
by banning sexuality as a consumer-aimed
marketing strategy; in our society where the
inflamed, hormone-driven people live, this
advertising fuels their feverish desires
Why profess surprise when targeted groups
turn into fiends - society’s cynical hypocrisy
showcases the moral bankruptcy of modern
systems; when will our words reach ears of
caring politicians or influence the moguls
And when will we start listening?
[ORIGINAL:]
A bundle of aggression, anger mounting every time
two superior colleagues have a loud conversation to
advertise to all how important their work & how very
important they are in doing it, people work in pairs
having long loud discussions in their daily toil
But I continue on my own as camaraderie does not
come naturally to me, explaining an idea and self-
deprecation the only things I have to offer, the only
altruistic humanitarian thing left to do in South Africa
is going from school to rural school to install
Toilets as pupils have been dying in dirty latrine pits,
the only way to stop rapists from assaulting babies &
young children is to stop using sexuality as the driving
force for advertising in our consumer society in which
these hormone-driven maddened people live
The modern marketing strategy is to drive desire to a
feverish pitch then profess surprise when the targeted
community turn into fiends; such hypocritical behaviour
showcases the moral bankruptcy of our civilisation
4 February 2014
Sunday, February 2, 2014
Land Of The Sun [REV.]
You expressed an acceptance last night damning
you to Hell; being a hermit you can’t be a people’s
person and I agree. I had swum to be reignited by
acquaintance with the sun, my skin tingling from
its kiss that has never been toxic to me
You can’t change but I believe we’re free to live
lives as we are without being wrong for not being
reformers or missionaries, everyone has a unique
path, is also true for you and I, so let’s embrace
ourselves being as we are
Rejoice being together and delighting in the sun;
our country is rescued by a priestly saviour, we live
on to take his legacy of reconciliation into all types
of relations - since we both love the people we work
with and offer our kids everything we can
We are showing Mandela how much we appreciate
the wonderful miracle he created for us in the
land of the sun
2 February 2014
you to Hell; being a hermit you can’t be a people’s
person and I agree. I had swum to be reignited by
acquaintance with the sun, my skin tingling from
its kiss that has never been toxic to me
You can’t change but I believe we’re free to live
lives as we are without being wrong for not being
reformers or missionaries, everyone has a unique
path, is also true for you and I, so let’s embrace
ourselves being as we are
Rejoice being together and delighting in the sun;
our country is rescued by a priestly saviour, we live
on to take his legacy of reconciliation into all types
of relations - since we both love the people we work
with and offer our kids everything we can
We are showing Mandela how much we appreciate
the wonderful miracle he created for us in the
land of the sun
2 February 2014
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