the pill that makes me sleep, warm blankets, my beloved snoring
but I’m so awake, I can’t even close my eyes! Wholegrain rusks
take revenge; calcium in wholegrain products I read, decided to
add to my diet – proud of my decision to strengthen bones; now
an allergic reaction makes sleep impossible.
Miserable evening, chemical depression blurring everything, I
can only read a few pages in Maskerade by Pratchett, eyes sore
& vague headache – a disappointing, wasted Friday night and
unable to sleep. I’ll make amends in next evening’s meditation,
think of everybody I love since I skimped tonight to get into bed
as fast as I could.
But the headache’s still there, the only solution is to read again,
resting my eyes in between. Sitting is uncomfortable tho’ better
than trying to lie down – my back’s as stiff as a rod after doing
prescribed exercises. How to cut wholegrain off my diet when
meat is dangerous, acid produced literally dissolves bones –
while subsisting on vegetables alone is not to my taste
Is there a choice? My guru’s advice is to think of things we love
to feel better, it doesn’t abate a headache growing from vague to
definite; I’m bored, nothing’s interesting, can’t write a worthy
thing & TV boring. Alcohol & sugar are banned – but maybe
I should drink enough to lift mood, arrange euthanasia when
the calcium in my bones has been dissolved.
With a choice between strong bones or depression I’ll have to
choose feeling happy, commit harakiri when my bones pulp
because calcium & vitamins D and K have been destroyed!
14 June 2013
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