First I wanted to feel calm and satisfied, then only a little
better as negative thoughts burst out of my mind, why do
the wisdom I gathered disappear just when needed most?
Finding negative feelings intensifying, I got up, watched
Animal Planet ‘Roaring with Pride’ – lions in Africa, it’s
better than the horrible thoughts rehashed by my unruly
mind, dredging up every terrible event I have ever lived
Every lie told when threatened by teachers at school -
every humiliation and stupid decision I made, it’s better
to stare at lion cubs or Monster Fish trying to eat men
alive -at least this supposition sparked the programme
Than to remember the past, though I’m sure tomorrow
would not be all bad, I’m not inspired by Monday rituals,
nobody could be unless changed into an automaton
Whether it be future, present or past; my mind changes
everything into something I don’t want to realise; fleeing
my thoughts is the only way to go though I would much
rather be asleep than sitting here
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