Long For Chloroform [Rev]

Life’s dualistic - feelings & emotions intertwined while
translating is the restricted rendering of another’s text
mechanically to client target language - of a need to
repeat what the original author meant, not what I think
of it - a tall order as the  passionate feelings intrude
everywhere until I soar on music to the firmament,
BUT until the flights starts & the little alien in my mind
is happily occupied, I stand bereft of freedom to feel -
which as a Government employee I promised to do

After staying home with my feelings unleashed, able
to roam, life requires I cut off my heels & toes to fit in
Cinderella’s shoes, polishing the floor, curtsying to my
esteemed colleagues, docile, sweet & without passion
for anything except a job done rationally; not bothering
them’s my purpose so I only confess my head’s mess on
the Internet, crying anonymously about life choices my
soul made before my birth - refining language skills is
great hearing words sing - yet standing here with a text

Delineating an author’s hate for everyone who doesn’t
agree with what he says - I’m thrown into twisted eddies
bubbling aimlessly, meaningless journeys meandering
endlessly & no complaint’s possible as its my thought-
created perspective & I prefer feel-good of great events,
delight in accomplishment; in my little world there’s none -
white-screen-black-Times-New-Roman-Font, I know it’s
possible to be a feather, carrying no feelings at all, being
neutral - but without feeling I’m dead & I’m either very

Glad or hopelessly sad, on autopilot; human presence
triggers a cheerful mode switch; as they recede my mind
reverts rolling down the hill, I’m trying to compose the little
alien to accept boredom as the template of life: routine &
repetition - I must shoulder my burden like the rest, stop
whining, tackle words swarming accusingly - Tchaikovsky
makes magic move in jetés and pliés until I think of music
befitting to my black mood - & where’s comedy when its
needed - pulling a Robin Williams, smiling with heart’s

Freezing, fatigue makes me Long For Chloroform - sleep
life off & be a new person afterwards…