Happy Decision

Decided on a new use for my lampshade top:
as a pink rose-patterned cover for a cushion,
so much better than wearing it resembling a
walking curtain; with my beloved deciding to
succumb to his nerves & sleeping so much,
I watch disfigured cancer patients on TV

Parts of their faces gone, reinforcing a cancer
surgeon’s refusal to undergo treatment when,
in his turn, he was diagnosed with cancer “All
those years, he declared, I’d cut people up,
removed eyes, noses, jaws, caused them a
constant embarrassment & pain yet seldom

Prolonged their lives beyond 5 years of misery
due to radiation - just adding them to a list of
“successful” statistics, not divulging many died
after 5 years meaning their treatment was just
unnecessary pain; I reject prolonging length of
my life at the cost of quality and I’m sorry for

What I did to patients” his words ringing in my
ears - since I believe consciousness endures
beyond this life, I have my own ideas regarding
use of medical science to force people into the
role of helpless victims & I shall take my own
counsel when proposed interventions threaten

My happy decision to move out of this life into the
astral or any other ethereal dimensions…

[Story:

After my editor’s changes I also changed the poem’s
ending to clearly state my plans should medical events
suggest health options that would cause scarring which
only a dedicated Frankenstein-monster fan or Phantom-
of-The-Opera imitator would consent to, accepting the
medico’s mangling interventions – the title is changed
to reflect the happy decision here not to become just
another false statistic as a helpless victim.]