Endorsement Of Life [Rev]

All day long we tracked Nici's flight, her dad from
his office, I from mine, colleague Annette calling
me over to look at distance covered as shown on
the Internet, time difference, attention focused on
my little one carried away to Dubai - then via JFK
New York to Mexico where training of crew shall
ensue for two weeks before boarding the ship

Our enthusiastic, energetic, self-assured little fire-
brand as photographer at your service - I imagine
her sparkling brown eyes with green flecks turned
with cheeky laughter upon her subjects or objects
to be photographed: a little girl who illuminated our
lives now shining for others, today excitement for
her adventurous trip fills my mind - I remember

The photo of their official wear - a plain sunflower-
hat - reminding of Ampie by Jochem von Bruggen,
will google it - her joy will not suffer for it - she will
entice with her cheeky delight in life; I love her little
person lent to me to be my child - filling my heart
with joy - teaching me how to handle problems; my
sweet-heart facing challenges and adventures

To be shared ere long and I can't wait for her tales,
her laughter & self-assurance conveying her happy
endorsement of life…

[Revised 1 April 2016]

Grateful Sorrow

The idea’s wonderful - theory impeccable:
my daughter has a job on a cruise ship to
earn enough to buy a car & an apartment –
but in real life the situation means saying
goodbye for a six-month period,  she flies
to the other side of the earth: to Mexico

She tested the alarm she’ll wear in self-
defence, readied back-pack and papers,
a book to read & US dollars - I’m ready
as mezzo-soprano Valkyrie, breast-plate
heaving as I sing Jo-ho-ho-HOO, Jo-ho-
ho-HOO, she continues in Japanese

Tomorrow my darling will fly away to far-
off shores to work her way towards her
independence; protected by legions of
angels – we send a little firefly to light a
small part of the world - and delight the
hearts she’ll touch and I’m saying my 

Goodbye tonight, tomorrow she’s leaving
and this wonderful future of hers is the
source of grateful sorrow…

State of Being

Rolemodel - what a strange concept this is, young
girls choose the strangest creatures to emulate –
such as empty-headed Barbie dolls, literally – one
such devotee even undergoes hypnosis to empty
her head of all thought in order to be as mindless

as a plastic doll, surgery to remove her lower ribs 
to have as thin a middle while practising to be as
useless as a plastic blob & some people choose
a “Plastic Cube” to represent their essence when
asked to fantasise their preferred desert scene

Plastic does not withstand weathering, scratches
& stains mar the plastic surface & heat destroys
its original form - much better to choose perfect
crystal glass to represent inner being & emulate
a creative person instead of a plastic symbol of

immobile emptiness, indicative of a deep-seated
belief in meaninglessness WHILE the mere fact
of existence is Sensational Cellular Activity - and
even a doll’s molecules dance in the awareness
which keeps it from falling into non-existence

The destruction of thought processes goes against
all logic ignoring the quantum world’s probabilities
from which the bright mind of every sensory being
fashions realities; MINDLESSNESS is as artificial
& impossible as trying to imagine NO freedom -  

And doesn’t form part of the intersubjective reality
of time and space imposed on spiralling energy to
form sensory phenomena as living symbols of the
infinite variations on possible themes & to change
the past by inserting dreams between the thin

Outlines of inherited fairy tales and myths; choosing
different aspects from multidimensional possibilities
of parallel probabilities - thus existence is a dance
of the loving & intelligent quantum energy, where
all awareness is spellbound in the recreation of

Future & past from current physical and spiritual
manifestation, I conclude that positing a state of
being without consciousness is impossible in all
facets and aspects of physicality…

A Persona

Bubbled out of the office like the Phantom’s
Christine, sang a request to be remembered
Think of me… waking silent and resigned…
walked through the exit gate: You were once
my one companion, you were all that mattered…
then into the dazzling sunlight, pink Fedora and
gangster sunglasses against the heat –

Took only 10 steps before turning back, at 31
degrees Celsius it’s much too hot, struggled
upstairs like the Little Mermaid after the witch
took her voice in payment for painful legs, so
arrived out of breath & informed Hanlie of my
aborted trip outside - realising I was without
suitable identity making the announcement -

Instead of a dignified official, becoming my
station, I was more an overexcited toddler:
wish I could adopt a persona befitting my
age yet when I try it feels so fake…


***************************

Quoted from Andrew Lloyd Webber’s songs in
Phantom of the Opera:

“Think of me… waking silent and resigned…”
“You were once my one companion, you were
all that mattered…”

Silently Wander [Rev]

As Queen Sweetness of the country Double Delight I
wander Time’s passages silently, watching light take
flight within the sun’s whirling spiral - bearing a whole
solar system with it, our Planet Earth and the planets,
meteorites and comets - a small galaxy

Among the large groups, the Virgo Cluster - moving
in ways not explained by normal astronomers - as it
seems that movement cannot be determined in the
red colouration of distant stars, and the universe is
an electric phenomenon - not a gaseous fixture as

Thought ages ago; time & place are qualities added
to a magnetic-energy hologram - sweetly I continue
my lone wanderings in translucent corridors where
the only music is stars singing to themselves, and
where the progress of the universe is traced by a

Super-consciousness which lives in every manifest
occurrence, that is everything, and though I feel as
if my mind is cut-off, alone and forgotten - I trust my
awareness is part of a larger telepathic Internet of
The Mind which connects the physical World

As a holographic virtual reality - meaning we are all
small slivers of the hologram and carrying the whole
universe within us; it’s such a big concept, and the
discovery past is recreated each time the present
changes, is so enormous I need time to understand

And apply this teaching from the great energy-gestalt
which is learning what life is like when experienced
through physics…

Float Downstream [Rev]

Singing happily, “The Lord above is throwing
goodness at you, but with a little bit of luck a
man can duck,” - and with these lines human
history is summarised; since the day we are
born we’re taught to buck currents of good-
ness flowing downstream, we’re given a pair

Of paddles and a canoe and told to row up-
current immediately evading the goodness
the universe throws at us, we’re taught to be
suspicious, trust no-one and, by implication,
never be trustworthy ourselves; we’re taught
original thought is dangerous - and the

Human mind a devious sub-consciousness,
a confused mess of deep Freudian longing
that would destroy civilisation if we ever let
the genie out of the bottle; so we spend our
lives fighting ourselves, if only it were easy
as in days of yore when people habitually

Fought each other - at least we could see
our enemies - & with calm self-assurance
take aim; now fighting our own inner being
and rowing upstream against our logic and
feelings of passion means we’ve no link to
our own inner knowing; it’s much better to

Join spiritualists saying the universe is a
matrix of loving energy - and we humans
manifest this in our instincts - we can trust
our feelings, stop paddling, let an intelligent
stream turn our canoe in the right direction -
flow with the unending stream of love & self-

Confidence; a flow of delight & expectation,
the dream of creation - to fantasise the new
world of self-esteem and trust into existence
as this is how the status quo was fashioned:
now it’s our turn - we the living - to recreate

Civilisation as spiritual intelligence and self-
trust which doesn’t need the ever-increasing
prisons and institutions to house those who
find present manacles so unbearable - they
lose their mind and feelings; if only we were
taught to relax and float downstream

Right from the day we are born…

*******************************************

'The Lord above is throwing goodness
at you, but with a little bit of luck a man can duck…'
The words are taken from philanderer Alfred P
Dolittle's song 'I'm getting married in the morning'
in the film 'My Fair Lady' with Audrey Hepburn

Dangerous Course [Rev]

What meaning do I want to assign to my life; a
quest for love, peace, joy, patience, friendship,
self-control, responsibility and forgiveness; it is
no wonder I live in a state of quiet desperation,
I so very seldom fulfil my own ideals and reach
the good in all of life’s spheres

When feeling bad about my shortcomings, I’m
also jealous of those who succeed - and when
looking at beautiful people, I envy the gifts they
received - the way to joy seems to lead beyond
such ideals - and straight into self-acceptance,
of making peace with the ego personality and

Hoping larger gestalt will be able to make good
use of my discovery: ideals represent the most
dangerous course we could plot for ourselves…

Bitter-Apple-Land [Rev]

Today I’m Queen Rose Garland wearing a mauve
rose-petal cloak in my Kingdom called Flowerland -
telling Hanlie, a Flower Elf, I enjoyed summarising
the Muslim authors call upon all nations to unite in
his world-wide prayer-meditation session

To combat terrorism spread by Bitter Apples from
Bitter-Apple-Land aiming to steal the Rose Hours
of Father Time, hide freedom and beauty under a
grey cloak of medieval servitude, killing harmony
with dissonant cries of pain, subject to The Bitter-

Apple-King’s vengeance, hatred and destruction,
creating a demonic priesthood - this isn’t good, I
think as Queen Rose Garland of Flowerland, but
luckily there is no need we fight these creatures;
mighty Fighter Fairies with boundless energy

Enjoy fighting Bitter Apple terrorists; all peaceful
elves are welcome in my Kingdom while the more
adventurous are free to join in war outside, luckily
angry Bitter Apples offer interesting war to wrathful
fairies who need this impetus for new invention

While in Flowerland we meditate on everybody’s
safety and final victory within the Golden Section
Cathedral of the Mind…


********************************************

[Based on the fantasy characters of the “Liewe
Heksie” series created by Verna Vels]

Smoky Pathways [Rev]

The little alien cried - then cool grey resignation
took over so, like a machine, I relayed two short
texts, into English; to be checked & polished by
two of our most revered administrators who love
language as a product of edict & strict regulation
& thus look forward to heaven as a thick book of
legislation while I dream of heaven as freedom

Meantime a soft mist of fatigue sifts down my
mind and encloses my feelings in safe bubbles
which keep them out of sight so only the red-hot
motivation remains & everything else is unreal
the concept of time is bent, the fabric of reality
is ripped and only smoky pathways glimmer
like far-off lighting showing the road ahead

One of these probable smoky pathways will
be chosen as reality and see my tears when
taking leave of my child; thereafter I shall be
reconciled & live life as required - resetting
my course by the lodestar of love and still
continuing my search for the pearly sheen
of sweet, safeguarding Wisdom

Leaving March 2016

Nici’s leaving within a week, today the 22nd
she leaves Wednesday the 30th, my heart’s
melting and knees grow weak, I’m stuck in a
long, dark emotional tunnel, empty & strange,
my head’s too heavy - my temples drawing
closer together, my ears grow too sensitive
to sounds, the result is that

Everything good, everything going well and
the way going straight, is affected by this dark
coloration of skewed perspective, I can’t do
a thing – I stare at my translation document,
flee from conversation, falling down a night-
mare hole of cold, sad, wet loneliness – this
is madness and I won’t say it aloud

Writing it down is bad enough, I can’t listen to
music as my feelings keep sinking beneath it
then the vibration becomes irritation, I wish to
change myself and be happy – yet the stream
of quiet desperation keeps washing me down…


[Leaving on 30 March 2016]

Fight Against Windmills [R]

The only reason given for wishing to have a
younger brain is material, people having the
temerity to die, a great sin, leads to a global
loss of €152 billion annually, nothing else of
value seems lost - quality of life, happiness,
enjoyment and optimism - is irrelevant, only
PRODUCTION is taken into account

What if a “younger brain” does not enable us
to enjoy life more, see the positive side of all
challenges, believe in a better future, escape
from the pessimism engendered by the belief
there is no life after death: will studying and
climbing stairs stop us grumbling, will we set
high ideals & try to achieve these?

Will this optimum, financially-younger brain
lead us to find a lodestar - to escape from a
Don-Quixotian fight against windmills, will it
lead to a higher degree of morality and work
ethics: QUITE irrelevant questions, it seems,
the only thing is higher profits globally - will
it be used for infrastructure to distribute

Surplus food to the poor; will it help people
fleeing their own countries, will the work of
these clever, younger-brain-people improve
life for the less intelligent, the handicapped,
and will it be channelled to animal shelters?
NO, of course not, this is not the point, life
is measured in terms of global income

And this is the only criterion accepted in the
media and scientific circles; NOTHING else:
so be it; yet I prefer release from this life to
their suffocating closed-circuit philosophy

Take My Place [Rev]

Considering a face transplant
I decide that should I require a
face replacement I'd rather die,
as for organ transplant - such
as my heart, prefer death

The pain of adapting to a new
face or organs does not seem
worthwhile; should surgeons
say I can only live on condition
they cut off my nose leaving a

Gaping hole in my face - I’d
refuse, no joy makes intense
suffering worthwhile, I want
to live a normal life and leave
this world as happy as I can

No dramatics from surgery,
no heroics at the cost of my
joie de vivre, I will not accept
being a guinea pig, physical
death is such a good thing

There is such overpopulation,
It’s the reason for so many
wars; I’m sure many souls
are waiting in the wings for
me to depart – jump in

And take my place on earth!

Being So Dense [Rev]

Fear only Fear itself; so there you are, the fear
of failure - I’ve failed in striving for wisdom and
love; my work being rejected said I hadn’t given
the standard required and failure feels awful,
left with the ashes of my ideals, my excellence
quest led to my worst nightmare:

A short-circuiting brain & loss of common sense,
I can’t like myself for being so dense - incapable
of doing my duty; a failure to combat inadequacy
and hide the full extent of my confused thought
processes - humiliating myself by being a fool
incapable of executing the most logical

Administrative order - stripped of the superficial
veneer of competence, exposed a bureaucratic
fraud, thoughts not under control, emotions too
primitive for any administrative success - how
can I feel safe in my work station after making
such a mess - how to believe in my role

When I play it so badly, how to believe in myself
when I can’t do anything well, can’t live in peace
with the well-meaning people whose work is the
epitome of perfection - they rate themselves so
highly since they fit their job descriptions to a T
and so beautifully - whereas I’m an anomaly…

Sacred Space

Do you know what it’s like when it rains after a
drought? That joy of silver rain sifting down, a
feeling of green trees and leaves glowing from
within; do you know what that scenario brings,
do you know how its sprinkling fills my heart?

Even my beloved; furious, frustrated, angry &
strong has been won over, and my kids being
insouciant expressed their relief - dad’s calm
again, we can breathe; my daughter’s leaving
for a photographer’s job on a ship at sea near

The American continent, how can I be calm &
have dreams on the beauty of understanding,
common sense and quiet inner deliberation -
the confabulation of my situation makes me
lose threads of this Plot - I’m an undercover

Poet with too much emotion, when I try harder
to be perfect, everything goes awry; I can’t go 
to sleep – staying awake to encourage the rain,
this lovely cool weather needs lots of support
to continue – peace in my sacred inner space

Torturous Minds (Rev)

The animal holding me in its jaws was created by my
looking into disturbing things; a criminal duo mother &
son, a 16th century deranged murderess - making me
feel thus what such a life would’ve been like - as such
distress would make life impossible & trying to walk in
their shoes was painful in the extreme

Although it’s one-dimensional to look at serene land-
scapes only, it’s the only way to reach balance and
peace, adding contrast to my experience messed up
everything in an emotionally turbulent tornado which
destroy the bubbles of safety in which my thoughts
rest when I let them, curiosity led me into the

Whirlpools of torturous minds and I fell headlong into
the abyss - now slowly climbing back to the light and
sweet pastures where my emotions are safe, I shall
redecorate my mental landscape where everything
became tainted by the menacing feelings evoked
by the sad and criminal events that logically

Have nothing to do with me, I’m turning away from
these shadows to become my happy self again as
falling over mental rocks & tumbling down trans-
cendental valleys only mess up my life, these
adventures were never meant for me…

Selfishness [Rev]

The lesson I take from La Symphonie Pastorale is
probably different from what André Gide intended -
the selfishness of a protagonist bringing a stranger
into his 5-children house, expecting his wife to cope
while lost to his own joy and pleasure in teaching a
lost child to read, all at a cost of time spent with his

Own family - he acted just like my granddad, who
brought strangers home expecting Grandma Alice
to cope, provide extra food on a tiny budget, cook
and clean, such largesse towards outsiders while
his wife suffered was touted by deceit as Christian
duty - in Gide’s story the pastor prevented his son

From marrying the girl the married pastor wanted to
keep for himself, she discovered she loved the son
also but the young idiot became a Catholic priest &
she committed suicide; the lesson is selfishness and
presumption destroys the most precious things such
as relationships with one’s own wife and kids

Grinding My Teeth [Rev]

Must keep going till twelve when this translator-group
celebrates a birthday in the local restaurant - hungry
NOW, grumbles my stomach, unhappy NOW, adds
my head - as a deeply troubled individual I’m sitting

Here with nothing but food on the brain as the Good
Governance of the Public Service Commission text
fails to engage my mind - every 2nd sentence more
boring than the previous; instead of leading to the

Beautiful flowers of unfolding hours - lines quote
expenditure framework & strategic plans - all ploys
used in hell to keep Astfgl, the Devil King, occupied
while the real fun of burning tar, fire & sparks goes

On unrestrained; it is a magnetic-electrical damage
to my thought processes - in hopeless rebellion I’m
sitting here, unable to express my feelings because
SOMEONE has to endure Purgatory - why not me

Fact that it makes me desperate doesn’t count - I’m
totally overwhelmed by my colleagues’ ability to enjoy
working on this kind of document; grinding my teeth,
I’m trying to emulate them - resulting in a mess that

Makes me feel so sadly inadequate, so depressed

Filled With Sounds [Rev]

A steel-grey text; tasteless, soundless, meaningless,
made me feel depressed, trying to remember the fury
of Friday by which I’d completed checking changes
standing out against the rest, it came to nought while
struggling worsened my sinking into the quicksand
of emptiness until music lost its beauty and colours
their symbolism - everything changing into a grey
spiral taking my spirit further away from the sun; the
delicate netting of my lilac butterfly lustreless and
my own thoughts decaying into a black hovel which
obstructed entry to my inner citadel - my mental
sanctuary seemed to have vanished in a Devil’s Sea
of painfully short sentences’ distressful frequencies,
it found no resonance in my heart and soul, I couldn't
concentrate as angst replaced coherency & descent
was imminent - then a sweet caramel dish lifted my
spirits enough so that a translation of André Gide's La
Symphonie Pastorale caught my eye in the library &
delight in such company awakened my feelings and
opened the way to a joyous light filled with sounds
of instruments - perfumed with sweet incense

Why [Rev]

Let me sigh - I’ve lost such a lot of time;
the weekend fell into a hole and Monday
became a torturous spiral folding in upon
itself - capacity to feel is gone leaving a
gap in interest, heaviness in my head &
dissatisfaction with my surrounds, now I
know how a cup of bitter tea feels, how
flat and stale without taste, burning and
hurting the stomach - that is how I feel,
so how can I live experiencing this? Its
beyond awful to feel so heavy and dead
where nothing seems worthwhile, luckily
there is my discipline to keep me going -
knowing if I want to sleep & eat, I’ve got
to keep up appearances: fake it until I
make it - why do people have so much
joie de vivre while there’s nothing in me?

How Superb [Rev]

I get into the car fired up with bright energy; since
a most arrogant person insulted those very people
he’s begged financial subsistence from for his vital
abettance - regarding himself an artist so genially
looking down upon all as his servants - by talking

I missed the cues indicating you’ve had enough -
you burst out with wild energy - stop talking - shut
up; I don’t want to hear; you’ve been talking about
the subject for 5 mins, quieten down, I don’t want
to know how you’re testing my patience!

Being an idiot, I defended myself until common my
sense kicked in; yes, you have no tolerance for any
information about my feelings - I must keep it aloof
for writing & just talk about the weather, cars, sport,
the kids, the house, pensions, retirement, caravans

No news items, nothing read, no response to what’s
happening or theories - what a benevolent dictator
you are; your magnificent magnanimous beneficence
stretches unto heaven in spite of the fact that I irritate
and bore you to death, you still take such good care

Of us; what idiocy it is to talk to you, the daughter of
Conan the Barbarian is my being, I was destined to
marry Bluebeard and here you are, a true Scorpion
forcing the crocodile into hiding - how marvellous you
arrange everything – how blue the pool, how

Well-mannered our son and daughter – why, it’s a
privilege to be silenced by you, to learn to count my
words and write them down for posterity – and how
excellent that your reticence teaches me to pluck the
thoughts from my head and put them in perspective

They would have been wasted on you: how superb
that you refuse to listen and keep me writing…

Don’t Fear [Rev]

CIA World Factbook, Peru, stopping brave
readers in our tracks - naming international
organisation participation, the fun starts as
the little alien in my head reads acronyms:

APEC, BIS, CAN, NAM, OAS – très oe là là,
the beginning of an exotic new alphabet

IHO, ILO, IMO, IMSO, UNCTAD - sounds
like onomatopoeia as in imitation yodelling:
Yodelii-hi-ho, lii-il-LO, lii-im-MO, lii-im-So

UNAMID, UNMISS – One-amid us bravely
said: Unmiss a Miss World winner-sinner

UPU, WCO, WFTU, - a Dr-Seuss rhyme
in rising cadence making little ones laugh

WHO, WIPO, WMO – whoopla, whoOO!
WTO - where you to - ah, there you too!

So, except for a cat - and a trap - and a
phantasmagorical scene with a fleeing
girl losing her shoes - dancing spirits &
evil red boots & Snegourka, the

Snow maiden melting in spring, a grating
noise in the chicken coup serving as an
open-plan office - NOTHING else shall
scare me today, I don’t fear acronyms

Ignite a 6th Sense (Rev)

Using a most unexpected strategy - and so unaccustomed
in that it opened doors of reality by letting common sense
shine through in a new way such as I’ve never seen before:
by PLANNING ahead of starting hacking away at a Spanish
Phytosanitary text - first analysing the kind of salt mine

Facing me, measuring blocks of terms, comparing them to
previous renditions carved in crystal and lighting the way for
wary new miners in a scary minefield of technical terms without
aesthetic content - the addition of which seems like anaesthesia
lulling a rational mind to sleep to ignite a 6th sense - I carved

Blocks of legal salt mine words following the Spanish word order
giving an exquisitely foreign twist to usually boringly uniform salt
crystals - recognising the already rendered parts of Articles and
Sections, adding my own roughly carved imaginative sentences
from Spanish signs - you can’t expect me to show common sense

All the time; the little alien in my head confuses me to the point of
incoherence - but by using different coloured pens I kept track of
the excellent Regulations; my minimalist art, with every scientific
term tested to define specifications, polished & inserted in just the
right place ,I hope, changed this enormous Spanish mountain

That loomed before me, and my seat on the burned-out ridge, into
a beautiful morning scene while the dew of self-esteem and sweet
incense of joy filled my inner sanctuary, perfectly balancing my
mental gyroscope upon a point of quiet enchantment…

On Death Row [Rev]

Doomed - having to spend the rest of my current
life translating Spanish Phytosanitary Regulations;
trying the Magical Approach - looking for previous
translations, revealing there’s none - I have to dig
in the salt mines all by myself like the sad miller’s
daughter locked up in a room of straw to be spun
into gold where she cried uncontrollably as she’d
no clue how to; I’m stuck in this eternal moment

Without brothers Grimm producing Rumpelstiltskin
to save my skin, & soul-destroying, heart-breaking
Regulation-straw still has to be spun into golden
lines of fluid English legal terms flowing in shiny
rivulets, adorned by the bright diamond facets of
perfect grammar rules, exact use of prepositions
and impressive legalese without any inappropriate
punctuation marks - & discouraged, I’m waiting for

The guillotine to lop off my useless head as my
brain’s gone biddy-bye, mind turned into sludge
& my heart melting inside; this is hell itself, I feel
terrible about enjoying my day-dreaming mind -
before it was simply grand as we create our own
reality & understanding; clearly, I detest myself to
have brought this painful task upon me, without
hope or light, without self-esteem, researching

Depressing terms, stuck in this place and time,
the dark hole in my brain swallowing the World,
the little alien and crocodile because they can’t
commit to slow, painstaking work - leaving me a
gibbering idiot on a burned-out mountain ridge,
all alone on death row…

My Wallflowers [Rev]

Some of the basic choices I made are held in a strongbox
for which I don’t have a key - I cannot unlock and change
these decisions; and then I read Seth’s opinion; thoughts,
ideas, feelings and convictions form a galaxy - and some
core choices form big planets with smaller ideas orbiting
them; I’ll have to think about this -

My choices do not allow such leeway that my life could
ever veer off  into parallel dimensions as the threads of
my life is woven; a stable pattern remains as I take the
same options over & over - so none of my heroines are
allowed to lose a love - at least not while I’m telling her
story - which may start at the point where a loved one’s

Been a long time lost; no heroine of mine saunters down
dark, lonely streets to be assaulted or hurt irretrievably -
none need overcome the pain & shame of wrong moral
choices - it must sound boring to the more enterprising -
who send characters into any situation for excitement
and to experience challenges, creating ravishing

Protagonists who end up being the most ravished also,
but not me, my wallflowers keep me entertained simply
because a rambunctious heroine leads to an easy life &
such uncomplicated love - while I prefer my Beauty lost
without the Beast’s help, an unacknowledged Cinderella
who serves - her photo adorning her gravestone only

My Christine stays with the phantom, Ralph finds another
love while the phantom changes to become a handsome
young man underneath a mask of scars… I cannot inflict
suffering on my heroines when I refuse to inflict suffering
on myself - and for that matter, not any upon all others…

Eats The Heroine

Trusting in the Magical Approach worked! Expecting help
made me investigate - found the form already in English
on the Internet, a kind, helpful soul posted it, I only had to
add the client’s details & check unusual words & phrases
isn’t that amazing? Were I despondent - not expecting
magical assistance, I would never have trawled the ‘net

Mind closed against positive discoveries - it’s true: we
can only see what we expect and believe, it’s FAITH in
the invisible world of conscious awareness that brings
success, I believe in a loving universe – yet my belief
in suffering is deeply rooted, doesn’t matter how easy
the solution to anything, the alien in my head always

Finds mystery, conspiracy & tragedy in everything and
changes routines into difficult feats to be accomplished
by painstaking magnifying-glass work and talking aloud
to myself so the alien can hear what’s going on - either
he can’t see while hanging from the rafters in my head
or he never bothers to take his eyes from his dreams

Without him only part of the crocodile mind engages in
boring texts while he takes the whole reptile mind for
himself leaving me with less than half a mind to work
half-blind without the ability to interpret what little I see -
existing in misery - luckily, comedy always appeals &
when I laugh the alien comes rushing back, keeping

Him home is a challenge - he lives like King Kong who
has to be amused by the physical world, otherwise he
eats the heroine and demands more sacrifices to keep
him happy, allowing the tribes in my mind to take care
of duties - what inner turmoil just to make it through a
day – may life hereinafter be restful after this!

One-Legged Flamingo [Rev]

One moment I’m ensconced in chocolate dreams, the next
a German text crosses my desk; I was so unprepared - not
at my best, the awful document was undressed in PDF, I’ll
need to retype the unholy text of its entirety

My desire is to sink into endless dreams and let a magical
approach take care of the German mess; with every page
stamped REJECTED, the small print needing a magnifying
glass, & to mark the moment when I lost my mind I made

And sipped hot chocolate while staring at the text, hoping
the magical approach which opposes thin, cold rationality
would safe me from my fate to suffer the German terms
with one only correct, technical meaning, which requires

Using the Dictionary of Agriculture, Legal, Commercial
and Political Terms: the excitement is killing me, there
is no help from Magical Approaches, so painfully slow I
construct tables, magnifying numbers, typing words

Balancing like a one-legged flamingo, left foot resting on
my desk, back bent while right foot carries all the weight,
changing legs & falling amidst laughter, bleeding thumb
offering a happy moment of respite - & heroically I tackle

My job in the trenches of this war on foreign languages
and the horrors they hold – Vorausichtliche Ankunft as
estimated time of arrival; what heresy is this, why can’t
everybody write in English, what a great time we’d have

Communicating instead of laboriously translating, much
easier to play games instead of having Hanlie learning
Chinese – what a feat – but I would not give up Arabic
with its letters magically changing as I type, here goes

Lunch is over and it’s time to start shooting down the
German Generals and set up friendly English soldiers
in place of the German administrative form that begs
the question – does officialise leave room for Goethe,
Schiller - singing Die Lorelei und Heute Ans Bord?

However Weird [Rev]

Sallied forth carrying a cavernous Miss Marple*
handbag in pink polka dots & bunches of roses -
yet my courage failed & I hid it in a big black bag,
unsure whether I could pose as a fluffy yet super-
sleuth aunt, then my bad habit of sharing random
snippets of life with complete strangers had finally
asserted itself and the poor victim had to bite on
his teeth while strange terms fell out of my mouth
without my brain able to interfere & who knows if
diamonds & pearls OR frogs & snakes appeared
as in Perrault’s fairy tales - the latter it seemed if
gauging by my victim’s strangled reaction – but
now I ‘m glad to translate an Import Declaration

Ethical work covering a million sins bubbling in
several intertwined states of consciousness as
we live concurrent reincarnational lives spinning
a web of intelligent energy where the PRESENT
creates both Past & Future - resembling Indra’s
pearls hung in such a way every pearl reflects
all the others; each time-space-pearl in our now
reflects the light from every other life, a freedom
which can’t be hidden by persecution – although
my intellectual name’s lost in an unending quest
for esoteric wisdom & playing childish theatrical
games, these exciting dreams endow life with a
wonderful meaning and make me feel so alive

However weird I may appear to rational people

Dreamed Into Existence[Rev]

Our civilisation doesn’t appreciate people with high
emotional achievement if intellectually challenged -
the source of all progress is through imagination,
development is brought about by thinking of things
that never existed before - the technological Age

Is result of imagination; now dead science with its
killer instinct brings progress to a standstill; listen
to TV idiots placidly repeating scientific idiocies of
an empty world suddenly producing thinking minds
for no other reason than dying into meaningless

Nothingness: but the biological imperative says
knowing the wonder and mystery of life is the only
way to live in joy and health, thoughts alive in loving
and intelligent awareness brought many universes
into existence; modern positivistic science dies as

People discover planning always precedes creation
and only biological optimism nurtures life, humanity
lives by values that science ignores at its peril - hence
science & religion are both left behind as we realise
how life, language and nature were dreamed into

Existence, contemplating how the foetus’s dreams
& thinking processes bring forth brain activity before
the brain forms: I can’t abide cold rules - but imagining
warm feelings and beautiful new world views  is my
contribution to my colleague’s beloved rulebooks…