Being So Dense [Rev]

Fear only Fear itself; so there you are, the fear
of failure - I’ve failed in striving for wisdom and
love; my work being rejected said I hadn’t given
the standard required and failure feels awful,
left with the ashes of my ideals, my excellence
quest led to my worst nightmare:

A short-circuiting brain & loss of common sense,
I can’t like myself for being so dense - incapable
of doing my duty; a failure to combat inadequacy
and hide the full extent of my confused thought
processes - humiliating myself by being a fool
incapable of executing the most logical

Administrative order - stripped of the superficial
veneer of competence, exposed a bureaucratic
fraud, thoughts not under control, emotions too
primitive for any administrative success - how
can I feel safe in my work station after making
such a mess - how to believe in my role

When I play it so badly, how to believe in myself
when I can’t do anything well, can’t live in peace
with the well-meaning people whose work is the
epitome of perfection - they rate themselves so
highly since they fit their job descriptions to a T
and so beautifully - whereas I’m an anomaly…