I had a premonition that things would work out
badly so they have, my life turned to mush and
flat, plain-weave, 1-dimensional, bleak, brown
hessian - no colours, no shine, no interest, and
the voice keeps talking - raising & falling with a
charade of staging a show of love on my behalf
Trying to pretend to fool themselves if not only
me – and we’re all caught up in this, I watched
a comedy show with them - in which loud mirth
was unleashed upon us in which nothing struck
me as deep and real – finally the boys went off
& peace descended, voice & dad watching TV
Discussing cars and cricket - without room for
me, causing confusion bordering nothingness,
now things are winding down and a dark mist is
lifting, if only just; finally chaos is replaced with
repose and I can talk to my changeling child to
find that love truly lives in her heart; I’m content
She’s planning a beach wedding such as I’ve
dreamed about, this is my prayer: Lord, please
keep her safe and give me the wisdom to offer
support in the way she needs; thank you for the
marvelous opportunity to have her to myself for
a short while; thank you for providing the perfect
Mate to take her to the Cape, thank you for the
Portuguese challenge awaiting at work – thank
you for the bad time I’ve had up to now ‘cause
the moments of colourful joy, fireworks in the
heart afterwards make up for the problems we
face every day, thank you for the opportunity
To have children teaching me what life is about…
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