Dead And Gone [Rev]

Marie Antoinette walked in while I was covering my parasol
with shiny black fabric, as usual she was contemptuous of
my clownish attempts to thwart the sun warming me to the
nth degree; she is a true bourgeois whose ideas of middle-
class respectability are more important to her than having
fun and enjoying life - with sour mien & disdainful hauteur

she makes it clear she looks down on me as a low-class
clown, but at least it keeps her out of my space & her dour
face does not often grace the office where I reside with my
now burka-black parasol on my hat-stand & Hanlie smiling
at her desk, although a German contract law monstrosity is
waiting to be translated with the aid of the Internet, and this

menace is enough to drive a saint insane, the Department’s
unable to provide modern technology so a campaign started
to hound all employees, checking our coming and going and
decorating the Sechaba building with the ugliest cultural art
objects it can find, a “Joseph’s amazing technicolour dream-
coat tree” made of material and smelling bad represents the

rainbow nation, large drums converted to chairs with garishly
coloured cushions represents - heck knows, rednecks - and
inexorably the happy, dreamy days pass one by one as we
ponder moving to Putin’s Russia to be cool in Siberia while
offering our language services to facilitate nuclear reactor
construction by means of international communication, but

let me return to the practical reality of the here and now and
a new Memorandum of Understanding raising the spectre of
failure once again requiring a slow process of acclimatisation
to my being here to translate against all the odds of suffering
from brain cells lost, dead and gone…

Sing My Way Home [Rev]

I enjoy my caffè crema and walk in the sun with my
parasol; this is a beautiful umbrella festooned with
pictures from Frozen on which I hang scarves and
strings with beads, singing as I go, & accepting all
good things offered by the universe; I stare at the
lemon-&-lime green of the trees as seen through

New golden brown lenses; I enjoy a diamond-bright
silver sunlight shining through the leaves as I float in
our pool, happy & docile like a satisfied Crocodile; I
watch Pointless on BBC with my beloved & marvel
at the fact both my kids chose partners with names
beginning with an E: Estiaan & Eloise - & blessed

With allergies - fitting right in with me; I wonder at my
colleague’s sunny disposition which accords with her
surname Sonnekus: kissed-by-the-sun; I am amused
by our own Marie Antoinette’s declaring my artificial
flowers of deplorable taste; & see, she says, holding
coasters brought from home - good taste looks like

This; I nod hypocritically - real flowers now adorn my
desk - today I’ve two super-boring and POINTLESS
documents to translate, providing raison d’être as I’m
held safe by work, tho not starting asap, & as yet no
fear that I might get it wrong rears it’s ugly head; so I
am sitting here breathing in Velikovsky’s theories the

Universe is determined by electro-magnetic streams
& reading about the Establishment suppressing all the
evidence which supports that in our return to the Black
Middle Ages’ scholasticism; I’m happy & content with
peace in my heart - having survived the attempt on my
life I’m ready to sing my way home - leaving soon

Alive At This Time [REV]

Marching full speed to where I’ll be picked up
after work, caught in a charging-figures melée:
taxis who loiter at green lights then drive off as
soon as the robot turns red - bearing down on
me who’d set off at the right time with nervous
distress growing worse dodging stalls taking up
three-quarters of the pavement & pedestrians
shuffling single-file past shop-entrances with

Bus passengers alighting & blocking the way;
I lose all ease of mind ’til deciding to try walking
down another street & lo, a nice place - shady
trees, wide sidewalks & taxi’s restfully parked
at standstill - I pass without having to charge
past loiterers blocking space; I’m happy now
in the new building as my road home’s good
for my soul; thank heaven, at least I can walk

In peace now thinking thoughts of joy instead
of lamenting at being alive at this time…

[Tuesday 24 October 2017]

Half a Brain [REV]

There was a young man, gifted beyond measure,
learning ability far beyond the norm; his paintings
and creative writings were exceptional but he was
plagued by anxiety of perfectionist tendencies - &
four successful medical practitioner brothers - he
felt dissatisfied with just being whom he was

Instead of realising an inner artist he also wanted
to make academic study his field - but the stress
proved too much for his aesthetic soul and he fell
ill; diagnosis schizophrenia, so he could only hold
down non-stressful administrative jobs which then
frustrated his creative mind - and much worse:

Since he heard voices he was given the dreaded
deadly psychiatric drugs that quieted the voices
by silencing parts of his brain until he was locked
up in an institution to wither away quietly; not a
burden to anybody, guinea pig of pseudoscientific
practitioners of dangerous psychiatry until he died

A vegetable in the end - dear reader, take heed,
don’t live with too much stress - relax - enjoy life -
don’t strive for perfection as it will drive you mad,
put an early end to your life - just be content with
who you are - don’t measure or compare yourself
with others of your kind: you are unique

Trying to be somebody else will surely stop you
from being you without ever changing you into a
successful person of another kind, you will end
up with half a brain and organ failure thanks to
the wonders of murderous Western medicine….

Long-Lost Reality [Revised]

High in a tower, elevated in the hot African sun, two
little translators have had enough as the scourge of
self-assessment lurks right after th’ Government had
curbed requisite service to keep State Departments
globally communicative - reviewing dribs and drabs
of the little documents they had th’ exquisite privilege
to translate while lost in an ocean of towering, blind

Buildings in Pretoria - an anachronism in a blinding
African sun; reality’s shaking & the earth heaving as
political masters fell remaining vestiges of efficiency
and appoint the unworthy to force nuclear disaster on
South Africa; the market is disgorging pension funds -
plummeting to new depths and blindly, against all the
odds, two little translators struggle valiantly against

Life itself to get their job done, and to keep the Foreign
Languages Section afloat as African masters conclude
the world is irrelevant - only depleting life force of the
society in which ANC is wielding its destructive political
clout is worth considering, the rest is dross and South
Africa will be destroyed - oh, how can this be? Ah, but
we used to pray to a God within religious structures

Whose strictures proved to be false as it was founded
on slavery and eternal exploitation of our people, based
on prejudice and race - so there you have it, nothing’s
changed, valiantly we struggle to achieve nothing within
the tattered fabric of an ill-defined, long-lost reality…
[Wednesday 18 October 2017 - This forms part of a diary
which chronicles the story of my life.]

A Blackguard At Heart [Rev]

Finally found where I am at home: - among the
recreational drug users who use any and every
drug they discover to get high - knowing they’re
growing immune to dose and that prescription
for continuous use is the greatest fraud there is

Laughing at medical establishment Pharisees -
tough people who don’t give a damn for anyone’s
opinion and never try to impress, who don’t play
the game of snobbery & never wear a mask; with
these self-assured people I am myself and admit

I like red-necks, the salt of the earth, feeling bored
and out of place amongst the refined who quietly
sob while refusing to vent their anger on criminal
doctors who destroy the health of people who ask
for their help – give me an honest person who has

NO reverence for pretenders trying to be better than
we are; I’m a blackguard at heart & feel safe amongst
cynics who don’t trust anyone: everything on earth is
done for selfish reasons where religion is the highest
player in the stakes of robbing the disadvantaged in

order to enrich the already wealthy. Self-confidence
surges within me as I contemplate hypocrisy of the
self-congratulating society where ‘unselfish’ means
the selfish overpowering the innocent...

Love You Dad

Anxiety, a mental state without explanation, poisons

the beauty of life and leads to a never-ending quest

for relief: at night I recount my blessings, the safety

and well-being which led human beings to colonise

the earth, yet every day a dark shadow fills my eye;

why was I born with this feeling of foreboding – why

Does feeling well require so much work? I dare not

relax and let my mind go - the infestation of weeds

and pests happens naturally and I have to fight it all

the time, it requires focus and vigilance to keep from

despair about just being alive - which is the biggest

privilege that was poisoned by I don’t know what –

Though I know my father had to go - he was old and

had no energy left - when I hear his music, the songs

he loved, a feeling of such abandonment overcomes

me and I wish he were still here, still breathing with

the charm his personality held for me - the hour of

his death was so exquisitely timed to save me

My dad gave his life at just the right time to save mine,

let me rejoice as he gave me the gift of life twice: thank

you dad, your being carried me to safety - thank you so

much and I love you dad… 

My Own Heart [Rev]

I don’t mind not doing anything - all I want
is a dream; just finding an ideal that fires
my mind and fills my heart would be such
a delight - anything - visions of swimming
in a warm sea, of me drifting with the tide

sun-tanning on the sand & wearing a huge
hat - enjoying inspired conversations with
enthusiastic people who are chasing their
own Quixotic visions with energy - today,
as my African colleagues are wearing and

admiring their national costumes, I eagerly
watch - enjoying their joie-de-vivre, wishing
for eager & exited expectations within my
own heart…

Dioxide And Sulphate [Rev]

The “Lament For Lyrica” goes on and on at sites like
Peoplespharmacy and Medhelp - pains unexplained
leave disillusioned users aghast at withdrawal more
horrific and painful than heroin, knowing commercial
enzymes meant for detergents are used to convey
synthetic pregabalin into cells and skin; it seems

Quite logical that the other ingredients are extremely
toxic too - the FDA cheerfully reveals Lyrica contains
th’ following utterly obnoxious things: titanium dioxide,
red iron oxide, sodium lauryl sulphate with the added
benefit of colloidal silicon dioxide - while obviously

Titatium dioxide is a mineral pigment used to colour &
thicken paint, it also devastates & permeates human
intestines & causes inflammation in the brain as well
as rheumatoid arthritis promoting general cell death

Lyrica’s red iron oxide aggravates food intolerance,
causes kidney damage ‘cause it’s a neurotoxin, one
which caused blindness in dog trials and is also well-
documented and known as a skin and eye irritant

Lyrica’s sodium lauryl sulphate, usually used in lather,
the high neurotoxicity causing damage to the central
nervous system, liver & kidneys - & also endocrine
disruption with nausea, vomiting & diarrhoea

Lyrica’s colloidal silicon dioxide is admitted as having
side effects of fatigue & loss of appetite - irritating the
eyes - & high levels of silicon lead to problems in the
kidneys, liver, brain and nervous system

Pain-control through Lyrica is done by killing a body
piecemeal so pain doesn’t register in the brain; thus
the drug addict who cannot feel nor think pays to be
killed - only when money runs out & the brain, along
with the nervous system, register toxic effect - the
addicts find the poisoned body cells die ad infinitum

Lyrica With Titanium Dioxide

https://www.fda.gov/downloads/Drugs/DrugSafety/UCM152825.pdf

Lyrica contains: 1. Titanium dioxide; 2. Red iron oxide; 3.
Sodium lauryl sulfate, 4. Colloidal silicon dioxide


1. TITANIUM DIOXIDE

Titanium dioxide DEVASTATES the IMMUNE SYSTEM because
it PERMEATES the INTESTINES causing CHRONIC
INFLAMMATORY CONDITIONS which accelerate AUTOIMMUNE
DISEASES such as RHEUMATOID ARTHRITIS.

Titanium dioxide is a natural mineral used as pigment to
color and thicken paints, in sunscreen and oral products,
medicines and food products.

You do not want to be consuming the same ingredients in
your medicine as in the paint on your kitchen walls. Titanium
has health consequences and should not be added to foods
and medicine.

Fine titanium dioxide particles escape the immune defense
cells that engulf harmful particles, and cause INFLAMMATION
which leads to uncontrollable cell death called apoptosis.

The FDA does not regulate the purity of titanium dioxide or
the synthetic materials used to coat the mineral and accepts
a certain concentration of Lead, Arsenic, Antimony and
MERCURY in foods containing Titanium Dioxide.

Titanium Dioxide is TOXIC, alters GENE expression and
permeates the BRAIN and placenta - which affects a
developing fetus. It also causes INFLAMMATION of
BRAIN TISSUE which results in abnormal brain activity.

Titanium Dioxide particles damage the GUT LINING
and are stored in the LIVER, SPLEEN, KIDNEYS and
LUNG TISSUE.

The peptidylarginine deiminase PROTEIN is induced in
the presence of Titanium Dioxide Particles and causes
OXIDATIVE STRESS and INFLAMMATION which
damages ORGANS of the digestive tract and
the BRAIN.


2. IRON OXIDE [E172]

Iron oxide black, RED and yellow, is a SKIN and EYE IRRITANT.
Inhalation of iron oxides causes lung inflammation. The
Genotoxicity of Iron Oxides makes ANY route of exposure
hazardous.
The Nanotoxicity of iron oxides used in medical treatments
cause TOXICITY in some cell types when paired with coatings
which bind the iron oxide particles to cell types like
cancer cells. While neither the iron oxide or coatings are
individually harmful, in combination they cause unexpected
reactions in the cells they bind to.

E172 Iron oxides aggravate FOOD INTOLERANCES and cause KIDNEY
DAMAGE. It is a suspected NEUROTOXIN which caused BLINDNESS in
dog studies.


3. SODIUM LAURYL SULFATE [SLS]

Sodium lauryl sulphate [SLS] allows cleansing
products to foam. SLS is a "moderate HAZARD"
linked to cancer, NEUROTOXICITY, ORGAN
TOXICITY, SKIN IRRITATIONand ENDOCRINE
disruption.

Undiluted SLS causes SKIN & EYE IRRITATION, NAUSEA,
VOMITING & DIARRHEA. Mercola.com reports SLS is often
contaminated with 1,4 dioxane that is "possibly carcinogenic
to humans" & causes negative effects in the kidneys, liver
and central nervous system.


4. COLLOIDAL SILICON DIOXIDE

Side effects: FATIGUE, loss of appetite and EYE
IRRITATION. High silicon levels cause problems
in the KIDNEYS, BRAIN, NERVOUS SYSTEM, CHEST,
BONE, and liver.

Occupational exposure lead to lung haemorrhage
(bleeding), inflammation of the kidneys, polyangiitis
(inflammation of small vessels), RHEUMATOID
ARTHRITIS & scleroderma (a skin condition).

An Exotic Rajah

Misery is not an option, sitting in abject misery
accomplishes nothing – with two towels in the
freezer to wrap around my head in the extreme
heat, a wet bandana in my hair and a wet scarf
over my pants and a pail of water on my desk

I’m ready to face the supreme heat on the ninth
floor of this office building in sweltering Africa –
when I read the lovely tale of the “Hope of South
Africa” - a young girl in a green dress begging
Old Father Time to bring people to fill her empty

land - as a child; I didn’t envisage dying in my
country’s heat after arriving here in fulfilment of
Father Time’s prophecy of many peoples coming
to colonise this charmed continent; but today I’m
ready to dive into my Spanish translation –

checking terms as best I can, ignoring the fact that
my best has never been good enough, just content
to be alive, joyously anticipating my colleagues’
distress upon seeing the wet towel around my
head like an exotic rajah from afar…

A Meal To Sleep

Good-feeling thoughts mean I must find
a reason to be happy while warm air blows
through the new building’s air-con, at least
it is a new building for us & the heat assails
us in a new way, and as I could not sleep
last night, I watched Weird Animals while
lying on the floor as the cat had the couch

Thus I dozed a few minutes every hour, and
I have a spray-can with water to keep cool
while walking to the pick-up point in the heat
and I printed 2 translations; so some things
are going right, let me be thankful for going
home within an hour and planning a meal
that would allow me to sleep…

Excluding Everything Else [R]

I want only one thing: feel-good emotions –
and to find these I have to think good-feeling
thoughts: after taking drugs prescribed by the
ignorant and suffering withdrawal depression,
it is very difficult to think feel-good thoughts:

that a local pastor is ordering illness to leave a
woman and she is healthy today, that the air-
con is working and we have improved work
circumstances, that my colleagues are kind &
mean well, that my twin sis’s happily married

and she’s having a good time, that Nici found a
job to her taste, that Tiaan is enjoying his studies
and life and found a girlfriend he loves, that I can
walk 7 blocks to be picked up after work – thus
combining exercise and efficiency, that my

Spanish translation is nearly finished and should
be polished in a last round, that my 85-year old
mother is enjoying playing the piano at concerts,
that my husband is healthy and strong, that my
eldest daughter trusts the dedicated pastor who

understands her complaints, that my new sister-
in-law is clever and kind and handled eight kids
with aplomb, that we visited the Cape and
returned without accident – I’m counting
blessings - all I need is a positive focal

point to focus on to the exclusion of
everything else…

Enlighten The Minds

May God punish all our enemies for their disrespect

for the quality and quantity of human life, may God

send Black Death and medieval Plague to enlighten

the minds of the rich medical industrialists who make

vast fortunes by inflicting unbearable pain on people

who need medical care for a multitude of suffering

May God decide how to teach those who delight in

destroying the minds of psychiatric & mental patients,

may God take up the cause of the defenceless victims

and illustrate through bringing the same suffering upon

them, how it feels and what they should have done

instead of torturing their fellow-men, may every bad

Sensation they induced in persons they diagnosed

return to haunt them so they feel a perfect replica of all

they have done, for as long as it takes to elevate their

consciousness which is as opaque as the deep abyss

offering a rich breeding ground for torture and disrespect

for humanity and on which their wealthy, materialistic

Lives are based, to teach them about the senseless lies

perpetrated to amass great fortunes without regard for

a God who’s just and will take care of the innocent when

believers decry the falsehoods of modern society…

God Of Retribution

A Little Mermaid walking on feet of fire
paying with slow death for the privilege
of feeling no more, every step painful,
feverishly burning - and worse: locked
out of the cathedral of her mind, estranged
from herself – living a disillusioned life

She discovered the cause of her painful
demise: a local quack prescribed poison
causing hallucinations & black-outs and
running the risk of paralysis as her body
broke down, the shock of discovery made
her lose her voice, brain deteriorating

Leading to the loss of mind, imagination
& the symbolism which confers meaning
to the world of things; she suffered in the
emptiness - reading with amazement that
some misguided souls insisted with near-
terminal stupidity on taking the poison

That destroys personality & life, people
too lazy to read the history of survivors,
requesting advice how to digest the toxic
lies of quacks licensed to kill and destroy
human lives; but respect for the freedom
of everyone to choose their own misery

Is the only moral value: FREEDOM is the
only way to wisdom and the only way to
show and engender LOVE & she rejects
the deception that destroys freedom by
changing victims into zombies made ill
to enrich big pharmaceuticals

Exploiting the guileless while destroying
precious lives: may revenge be visited
upon these medieval quacks by the Just
and Vengeful God of the Old Testament,
may He visit the pain they caused help-
less victims a thousand-fold upon them

Let me quote Psalms in which the Saints of
Old invoked the God of Retribution against
profiteers who exploit the weak & helpless
in society, may medical doctors suffer
every pain and ache they caused!

May God Take Revenge

Rereading Psalms makes me realise without
a Vengeful God to take revenge on those who
disrespect peaceful lives, life is not worthwhile

I’m looking forward to the punishment God will
wreak upon them who insist on fostering gaba-
pentin and Lyrica-pregabalin on those without
protection against exploitation & trust He will
see to it that the unscrupulous medicos suffer
every symptom endured by everyone who took
these drug and suffered trying to come off them

My highest wish is everyone who had a hand in
spreading these toxins be forced to take them in-
definitely, feeling the same pain and despair of
a body wracked by inflammatory cells and fever
and dying cells and muscles destroyed by dis-
integrating enzymes; may every doctor who wrote
a prescription without researching the evil done
by these drugs suffer depression, anxiety and
personal disintegration - my deepest wish is

May Pfizer which refused to withdraw it from the
market suffer bankruptcy, may its directors suffer
with unending itching, may their feet & legs burn
with every step they take, may they grow deaf with
tinnitus and blind with dry, burning eyes; may they
suffer rotting teeth, receding gums and lose their
hair; may they have mouth sores and throat ulcers
& may rotting intestines be cut from their insides

May they have water on the lungs, may they have
trouble breathing, may their hands turn into arthritic
claws and their joints burn with gout ad infinitum,
may they suffer three strokes each at least, may
they have untold hallucinations and black-outs
causing them to crash their cars into each other
and fall in the street and may their unstoppable
temper tantrums cost them their families and jobs

May every problem they forced on every sufferer
devolve on them and keep them busy for an eternity

A Toxic Persuasion [Rev]

I’m stuck in a morbid state of shock, fascinated &
horrified that human beings still perpetrate hell on
earth; even nether demons can’t imitate mankind’s
fallen state. And thus this world is overpopulated
such it makes sense for all medicos to experiment
carte blanche on human kind, killing unsuspecting
citizenry in the name of science - but what really

Shocked me is discovering I’d let them experiment
on me in accepting pregabalin prescriptions which
shrink the brain causing that type of inflammation
where inflammatory cells destroy the mitochondria,
thus causing muscles to break down - inflame the
joints & cause arthritis - I invited an unscrupulous
fool to prescribe its poison by complaining of neck

And back pain - yet never in six years of poisoning
myself queried the wisdom of that chronic burning,
sweating and chills, swelling such I could not wear
any covering on my feet, muscles atrophying on my
right-side such I couldn’t write any more, eyes gritty
and dry so no more reading, hearing so bad while
ear-ache made life miserable, ulcers in my mouth

And throat & I kept PAYING Pfizer a monthly king’s
ransom to obtain poison, which I had to try to ease
with more costly medicine in order to keep walking;
I was a fool, & I’m horrified by my own compliance
in wanton destruction of my body by not stopping
these butchers - instead - aiding their permanently
maiming more innocent victims; can you blame me

For living in a state of shock? And my beloved - in
being a very kind, self-righteous person can’t even
recognise why I’m mad at being poisoned - he can’t
figure out why I blame Lyrica: could it matter living in
a decaying, rotting body as long as I’m feeling drunk
and high all the time? This kind of love is of a toxic
persuasion too - I’m shocked to realise he doesn’t

Care about me as a person, only as an appendage
to himself - made to serve his every whim and that
I’d made all these choices myself…

Pregabalinic Lyrica hell

I prefer natural pain to walking around like
the Little Mermaid paying Lyrica the Evil
Drug Witch with my life and voice for feet
of burning coals and a round moon face,
sores in my mouth and throat, dry burning
eyes, unable to speak or sing, unable to
think & dream; sleepy, falling and twitching
with black-outs & muscle spasms, growing
deaf and blind while my teeth’s falling out,
burning in a Purgatory of inflammatory hell

I paid penitence in Pregabalinic Lyrica hell
for all the sins of vanity and pride
I have ever committed in my life

[Marilese Koch ---- Tuesday 11 July 2017]

Withdrawal From Evil Lyrica

After 6 years of Lyrica drug use, 2011 – 2017, I managed
withdrawal by immediately halving dose of 150 mg 2 times
daily to just once in the morning for 4 weeks, 5 June 2017
to 28 June, then halved to 75 mg once daily for 3 days
only - 28, 29 & 30 July.

I took no Lyrica on Saturday 1 July and ended up vomiting,
nauseous, headache, shivering, so I took 75 mg at 1 o'clock
Sunday morning 2 July 2017. I cut all sugar & carbohydrates
from my diet, just ate boiled eggs, vegetables and fillet steak.

I took 75 mg at 21:00 on Sunday night and slept OK. Then at
21:00 on 3 & 4 July 2017 I took 10 mg Urbanol just to sleep.
And I added Greek salad with black olives to my diet and cut
coffee, tea & fruit juice, just drinking milk and water.

Today, Monday 10 July 2017, I don’t take any medication, eat
a boiled egg per day and meat without condiments every 3rd
day and vegetables without spices & sugar, only olive oil.

Now I’ve started feeling better. I no longer suffocate in bed with
breathing problems. The ulcer in my mouth is almost gone. I no
longer bite my tongue or the side of my mouth and can smile
normally, the tinnitus is gone, my eyesight is better and the
hot flushes are abating.

Walking isn’t back to normal as yet, my feet and muscles are
still sore - but the brain fog is lifting.

I hope someone will find my method useful. It is clear cutting
down in 25 mg increments doesn’t work when reading other
people's experiences, Since the medical idiot with evil intent
increased the medical dose with unseemly haste, it seemed
logical to decrease the dose with just as much speed.

Lyrica is a killer drug that claims many lives and destroys the
quality of living of many more lives. The money-mongers who
prescribed it and watched my body disintegrating and rotting
right in front of their eyes, are ignorant & primitive gibbering
idiots.

I prefer natural pain to walking around like the Little Mermaid
on feet of burning coals with a round moon face, sores in my
mouth and throat, unable to speak or sing, unable to think &
dream, sleepy & falling with black-outs and muscle spasms –
growing deaf and blind with my teeth falling out, while burning
in a permanent state of inflammation…

I paid penitence in Lyrica hell for all the sins of vanity & pride
and nastiness I have ever committed….

Pain Will Be Gone [Rev]

The best thing about Pregabalin, and reminding of Stalin,
destroyer of millions, is it comprises gamma-aminobutyric
acid - or very TOXIC gamma-rays which kill living cells -

It elates medical sociopaths poetically calling it Lyrica &
enjoying their license to maim and kill by poisoning the
mitochondria, the life force within cells, to kill all those

Hypochondriacs whining about pain less visible injury
by shrinking their brains, causing memory loss & black-
outs and falls, ulcers, muscle spasms & joint pains -

These hypochondriacs fall ill & a fair number die quite
soon - thus cleansing the gene pool of these fools who
have dared irritate sociopathic establishment who love

Having vulnerable groups of fools at large on whom they
can experiment to their heart’s content; & wow, did they
experiment on me, the world’s fool number one; though

My joint & foot pains began after receiving Lyrica for a
neck & back pain, I didn’t realise it; and continuous ear-
ache made life difficult, double vision robbed me of

The pleasure of reading, painful joints robbed me of the
joy of walking, mouth ulcers & a hole at the back of my
throat made for costly medical treatments & hot flushes,

Formerly caused by my eating sugar & gluten, increased
a million-fold; I had black-outs, falls & breathing problems
with hallucinations as I diligently ingested Lyrica, lapping

Up poison because it made me feel reconciled to being a
failed human being without a bright brain required to fulfil
my dreams, with memory loss and slurred speech and a

Dry mouth with loss of singing ability; but I still screeched
in a way that made Florence Foster Jenkins sound like a
nightingale; yet I continued determined to bite the bit and

Die a martyr to my malfunctioning body - but when black
outs made coffee run from my mouth, soup fall from my
hands as knees buckled under me - I lessened the dose

To be able to read again without falling over comatose at
work & reading at home on my bed - and then read about
Lyrica the Great Brain Killer - The Designer Drug which

Switches off part of the brain permanently - all emotional
pain will be gone - and the complainant also…


[ORIGINAL:]

The best thing about Pregabalin, reminding of Stalin, the
destroyer of millions, is it consists of gamma-aminobutyric
acid, referring to gamma-rays kill living cells, very TOXIC

This elates medical sociopaths who poetically calls it Lyrica,
enjoying their license to maim and kill by poisoning the
mitochondria, the life force within cells, to kill all those

Hypochondriacs complaining of pain without visible injury
by shrinking their brains, causing memory loss and blacks-
outs and falls, ulcers and muscle spasms and joint pains –

These hypochondriacs fall ill and a fair number die quite
soon – thus cleansing the gene pool of these fools who
dared to irritate the establishment sociopaths who love

Having a vulnerable group of fools at large on who they
can experiment to their heart’s content, and boy, did they
experiment on me, the world’s fool number one, though

My joint and foot pains began after receiving Lyrica for
neck and back pain, I didn’t realise it; though continuous
ear-ache made life difficult, double vision robbed me of

The pleasure of reading, painful joints robbed me of the
joy of walking, mouth ulcers and a hole at the back of my
throat made for costly medical treatments & hot flushes

Formerly caused by my eating sugar and gluten, increased
a million-fold and I had black-outs and falls and breathing
problems and hallucinations’ I happily ingested the Lyrica

Lapping up poison because it made me feel reconciled to
being a failed human being without a bright brain required
to fulfil my dreams, with memory loss and slurred speech

And a dry mouth and loss of singing ability; though I still
screeched in a way that made Florence Foster Jenkins
sound like a nightingale, I continued determined to bite

The bit and die a martyr to my malfunctioning body – but
when black outs made coffee run out of my mouth & soup
fall out of my hands as my knees buckled under me – I

Lessened the dose to be able to read again without falling
over comatose, at work and reading at home on my bed –
and then read about Lyrica the Great Brain Killer

The Designer Drug which switches off part of the brain
permanently – the emotional pain will be gone and the
complainant also…

[Wednesday 5 July 2017]

Lyrica - Pregabalin - MURDER

Found comments on Lyrica on Internet:

"Lyrica, Pregabalin, did nothing to relieve my pain. If
anything it made it worse due to the swelling in all my
joints. If I sit down for more than a few minutes, the
FIRST FEW STEPS upon getting up are so PAINFUL.
I'll never take this again.”

[Marilese: I also experienced this & never realised these
pains started AFTER taking Lyrica and not before! I waddled
everywhere on painful, PAINFUL feet… not realising Lyrica
caused my near total immobility.]

******************************************************

The journal Neurology June 2016 reported major birth
DEFECTS in babies after first trimester exposure to Lyrica,
an antiepileptic drug which DISTURBS nerve function &
ARRESTS brain development - as found in mice exposed
to Lyrica during pregnancy.

Lyrica BLOCKS growth and prevents limbs from forming by
causing CELL DEATH. The spine and the face bones were
defective even when mice received low doses. Thus Lyrica
causes abnormal fetal development & severe birth defects.

********************************************************

Lyrica INJURES MUSCLES and makes the BRAIN SHRINK
as seen in a March 2017 animal study with a single dose or
daily doses of varying amounts conducted for 21 days. After
3 weeks there was DAMAGE, INJURY and stress in the
SKELETAL MUSCLE, regardless of dose.

Lyrica leads to ATROPHYING (dying) MUSCLE as INFLAM-
MATORY cells infiltrate the muscles. The INFLAMMATION
of muscles causes CELL DEGENERATION which is a death
sentence to cells, yet people are put on this drug for YEARS.

[I understand how a sadistic medical idiot could put me on
Lyrica, but prescribing it indefinitely while the pest knew I was
dying on my feet means he is a criminal bastard unworthy of
trust, unworthy of a medical license – though that’s not right,
a medical license is a license to maim and kill, after all…]

*****************************************************

Lyrica DECREASES the firing of nerves in the area of
the HIPPOCAMPUS in the brain, while these are needed
for learning, memory, and spatial-relation. New nerve
cells in this area should be generated throughout life, but
Lyrica DAMPENS & INHIBITS the formation of signals
and causes the GRANULE CELLS to age faster.

Lyrica SHRINKS the BRAIN'S GRAY MATTER during long
and short-term use and BLOCKS the production of the
neurotransmitter GLUTAMATE.

****************************************************

Lyrica causes DEATH of MUSCLE CELLS & extreme bruising;
VISION ABNORMALITIES, suicide, SLEEP APNEA and
DECREASED breathing, respiratory failure, autoimmune
neurological disorders; finally Lyrica (Pregabalin) POISONS
the MITOCHONDRIA which are the ENERGY-PRODUCING
life force in cells.

Lyrica RAISES CHOLESTEROL levels and causes
urinary-incontinence in adults.


---PREGABALIN, GAMMA-AMINOBUTYRIC ACID or Lyrica---
___________________________________________________

[Marilese Wednesday 5 July 2017 - I was on Lyrica
from 2011 and 2017 and suffer the disillusionment
of all who are deceived by medical practitioners,
should be called medical executioners.]

Separate Beings [Rev]

Let me embrace the depression which WILL be
acknowledged and insists on ‘right of being’; let
me stop balancing on the precipice while trying
to convince myself to believe my emotions are
under control, that I can govern my thoughts –

Wrong, I just blocked them like chemicals stop
synapses from firing in this slow decomposition
process while I’m still alive - how gory, bizarre -
let me sink into the dark & know the frustration
that resides therein, let me plumb the depths of

My feelings & allow them freedom of expression,
no longer making doomed efforts to turn myself
into a robot executing dreary routines in a semi-
comatose state; allow passion to spend itself in
reality, & let me stop this slow rot of attempting

To escape the fate of the infirm no longer able to
walk - let me LIVE while I’m alive and die quickly
when deciding to move on to new dimensions of
non-physical existence where the emotions are
communicated without need of words & music

Plays in feelings as separate beings….

[Monday 26/06/17]

Diary Notes - Friday 23 June 2017

Yesterday I was over the moon having finished navigating
my way through the Portuguese regulations, and voilà, after
handing it in for quality checking, I was rewarded with just
another Portuguese document for my pains, a cooperation
project between South Africa and Brazil, no legislation, no
formulations to be found on the Internet – and I was fazed,
stopped in my tracks, overcome –

Today I started making work-on-hand lists, positioning for
another gruelling Portuguese session. At least the universe
is making good use of my ability to become anxious & worry
about the next thing, double-guessing myself…

The need for colour turned to a severe aversion to pink
and my desk is surrounded with pastel blue, bright yellow
and lime-green; all the pink behind my back, this colour
scheme is resonating with the world so well at the moment.
It points to a poem, but we’ll see.

Feng Shui – the elevations to be able to stand and work
are a straight line now and my desk seems less crowded
and hopefully the positioning will facilitate work prowess.
BUT I’ve got a pink rose pinned to my blue and white top
so the pink factor cannot be discarded – don’t know why.

The necessary emotional gossamer has to be woven from
thoughts and feelings to keep my mind and heart safe when
tackling the next Portuguese mountain with its pitfalls and
deceptions…

We were asked to rename the building we’re moving to – at
present it’s called the “Van Wyk Louw Building”. thus I
suggested Xanadu, Shangri-La or Mabalel, tongue-in-cheek
or “Ratau” which means Lion – did think of “Lalapanzi”,
but it means “sleep well” & would not have worked at all…
I hope someone in the Renaming Team enjoyed this with me…

Remain Ignorant [Rev]

The universe’s too random, a colleague complains,
anybody can get cancer at any time for no reason;
I said but there IS one - and we are all individuals,
but my remark is completely ignored as everyone
wants to believe in a hostile universe - & we need

Never accept responsibility for anything happening:
saying we create our own reality has no resonance
for my colleagues in a dream of being innocents on
a Shakespearian sea of strange happenings in this
material universe, one that came into being without

Need of planning or consciousness - suddenly one
day a form of life evolved by itself: as the animated
conversation turns in circles I decide to tune out the
sound by diligent earphone application in frustration
due to my belief thoughts and emotions determine

Our hormonal settings, the manifestation of illness
a picture showing physical effects of our choice of
thought & feeling; why listen to jabbering sounding
like childish gibberish when my ideas are ignored
as unwelcome in the extreme - I would have been

Victim of this noise - which pointedly ignores me;
listening to my iPod music is the only way to stay
sane in a place most people deliberately choose
to remain ignorant…

Die Of Beauty

 

Concentration on the meaning of words alone
without feeling, emotion symbolised in rhythm
and sound; makes me feel so alone, so alone,
so bored and alone, there’s no joy in being

When it shrinks to a game of terms that suit the
theme in front of me, phytosanitary regulation –
colour can’t touch me as the vibrant world does
not reflect the silence and isolation inside

Where my inner commentary runs in the dark-
ness behind my eyes where only love & fantasy
can live: the little alien in my head already thinks
he’s dead as nothing stirs any feeling within

Sad at the boring uniformity of the days of well-
being not making contact with the soul of any-
thing, an outside life on the surface of my days
and the boredom of the grays, the gray matter

Of the brain which keeps shrinking under modern
medicine stopping synapses from firing, stopping
life in order to enable my body to be a machine –
deep within I’m sad, growing sadder, the words

In my favourite books can’t reach into my heart nor
touch my soul, my spirit sits in contemplation of the
religious ideal of supreme calm - and it bores me so
much, yet I can’t cry because nothing disturbs the

Slowing waters of my heart, no fairy dancing - no
dream enthralls, nothing captivates and stirs the still
pool of pious calm in the cathedral of my mind, and
what a prison it is, what a place to die of inability

To feel passion within the beauty & harmony inside…

[Tuesday 20 June 2017]

Mental Neglect

Lyrica - pregabalin - is a substance silencing the
brain to stop those who have the infernal audacity
to complain of pain, shut-up and bear it or risk the
prescription of a brain-synapse-destroying poison

I used to wonder why society did not kill members
who make life hell for others by complaining about
their health all the time – well, logically, this is what
the wonderful medical establishment is doing; if you

Can’t cure them, kill & bury them, hoping to remove
those genes from human genome pool, nobody with
those kind of complaints should spread the mind fog,
aches & words of protest against the physical mess

In which they exist, are silenced by legal substances:
I thank Lyrica for worsening my allergy symptoms to
the point of my blacking out while standing upright; I
prefer death to living with the negative personality

And lack of self-expression I’ve failed to overcome
through years of mental neglect….

[Wednesday 14 June 2017]

*****************

 

INTERNET:

Lyrica side effect: BLACKING OUT WHILE STANDING UP and falling to the floor; waking up just in time to save my fall. But experienced many blackouts that ended up with me on the floor. Sometimes no injuries, another time hit my head on the side of the bathtub after falling to my knees. I broke my arm falling in the bathroom. I have since stopped taking the Lyrica and have had no more blackouts or falls. Be careful all who venture to mix Lyrica with any drug.

********************************************

I had a work related injury and suffered from cluster headaches for 15 years. 3 rheumatologists; 2 neurologists, diagnosis of fibromyalgia as diagnosis of exclusion - they couldn't identify what caused the pain. Neurologist prescribed Lyrica, I took it for 4 years After several months on Lyrica, I experienced MEMORY LOSS, BRAIN FOG, IRRITABILITY; DEPRESSION and CONSTANT PAIN. Dr. increased Lyrica dosage; my brain activity became so stunted I thought I was going mad or experiencing dementia. I also had significant weight gain while on Lyrica. I slowly weened myself off Lyrica over 12 months. Within a couple of months I had much more clarity of thought; after about 2 years I felt more like my old self. I still have some low days but can't define whether it’s the residual Lyrica or just the pain I live with daily. I had been on the job for 37 years - worked my way up through the ranks - but had to take retirement. If I had to do it again, I wouldn't touch Lyrica - be aware of side effects - what to watch for.

The common side effects according to Lyrica’s label are:
Dizziness; Blurred vision; Weight gain; Sleepiness; Skin hypersensitivity; Difficulty concentrating; Edema (swelling of the hands or feet); Dry mouth;
[Personal experience: BLACKOUTS, MENTAL FOG, worsening ALLERGY SYMPTOMS]

*****************************
In 2005 I had a severe spinal cord injury and developed nerve damage. I was put on Lyrica and it did more damage than good. Increased dosage to 900 mg a day. I was so injured & didn’t pay attention to my CONFUSION& extreme MEMORY LOSS long and short term. Teeth started to deteriorate. I got to the point of seriously wishing to end my life. LYRICA DESTROYED MY LIFE.
SOLUTION: I am now down to 150 mg and plan next month to drop again. You cannot just stop taking it, it could be life threatening. I have a HARD TIME TALKING OR GETTING MY WORDS OUT. It can take me over an hour to write a note like this. I can’t even pizza because I can’t talk or remember in the middle of ordering. I was a professional for 35 years, now I can’t even speak – s embarrassing.

****************************************

My husband has been on Lyrica for about a year now. At first he had some numbness in his arm/legs and trouble sleeping. Now he has a lot more side effects: severe back and leg pain, CAN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING, FORGET WHAT HE'S SAYING WHILE TALKING, MOOD CHANGES, DEPRESSION, etc.

**********************************************
After taking Lyrica for about 2 months in early 2008, I showed signs of severe dementia. Even after being off the drug for 4 years, I still suffer LACK OF FOCUS & concentration & memory loss. Tests in 2011 showed RIGHT SIDE BRAIN DAMAGE MOST LIKELY DUE TO THE LYRICA.

*******************************************
I took Lyrica, 300mg for about 9 months and went suddenly DEAF IN RIGHT EAR. Withdrawal was awful experience. I phoned Pfizer in London, UK and asked if Lyrica could cause deafness, they said it WAS A RARE SIDE-EFFECT. There are NO warnings of this on the pamphlet, and my doctor had to submit a yellow form to Pfizer for dire side effects. After several visits to specialist and a hearing aid, have been told it is permanent, probably caused by NERVE DAMAGE.
**********************************************

Lyrica was prescribed to me, off label, for brachial neuritis. Had all the side effects and severe withdrawal symptoms when I stopped taking. Developed a DIVERTICULA IN MY LOWER INTESTINE REQUIRING SURGERY. Had PERSISTENT HEADACHES & EAR ACHES. MRI of brain showed small ABNORMAL BLOOD VESSEL IN FRONT LEFT PART of brain. Screwed up my career. Went from making mid 100's to 50k or less. Has been two years and still feel like Pfizer stole my life promoting a drug that was not the right treatment for me. Very frustrated when I see Lyrica commercials on TV. Stop letting the drug companies promote to patients who are not qualified for self-diagnosis and better education for the medical community on side effects and adverse events.

******************************************
Been taking lyrica for 4 or 5 years now. My teeth are rotting from the inside out too. I think an oral surgeon is what I need, the rot at the gum-line and break off.
**************************************************
I took Lyrica from 2007 until 2010. Although it did somewhat help my pain from neuropathy...I had terrible side effects. I did weird things & slept a lot. I had hallucinations but continued to take it because there was some pain relief. I noticed that while I was taking Lyrica my HEART RATE WAS VERY HIGH. In May of 2011, I had triple bypass open heart surgery. My family had to hide things from me while I was taking Lyrica because I would do stupid things. I have never done illicit drugs so I don't know what being high feels like but I would venture to say that I was high on Lyrica. I was also very DEPRESSED and at times SUICIDAL. I went off of Lyrica cold turkey...because it is so expensive and Medicare does not cover it. I am really glad that I no longer take it because I NO LONGER HALLUCINATE OR SLEEP CONSTANTLY.
*************************************
Been on Lyrica for roughly 3-4 years. During that time, I had noticeable relief from neuropathic pain. However, the side effects are incredibly bad. I had major MEMORY LOSS (SHORT-TERM), DIFFICULTLY CONCENTRATING, severe DEPRESSION, and MOOD CHANGES (ANGER, agitation without relevant cause). It got so bad that even I knew I wasn't myself - my wife became increasingly concerned. My MEMORY GOT SO BAD that I would leave the house to drive a half mile to get something, and I'd have to call me wife after 2 minutes to ask her where I was going and what I was getting. Never before was I remotely like this!
I obviously had to stop taking it, as it was becoming impossible to properly function, and the PAIN RELIEF WAS NOT WORTH THE SIDE-EFFECTS! I made some major mistakes on work presentations, and could easily have lost my job.
I had anticipated that my memory would return. It has NOT. CONCENTRATION HAS IMPROVED, but short term memory is terrible. I never had these issues before. I am 50, not 85. I can walk into a room with an important matter, walk 5 feet more and forget. I have to write down and DOCUMENT EVERYTHING to do my job properly, and record my notes. I no longer trust my memory.
I have now been off Lyrica for about 5 months, so there is no reason for this to still occur, but I know that these are Lyrica side-effects.
**********************************************

Lyrica - managing pain, it can be good - BUT comes at the price of DESTROYING YOUR BRAIN ACTIVITY. The side effects WILL hit. It's just a matter of when, NOT if. A few side effects thousands have dealt with: MEMORY LOSS, BRAIN FOG, EMOTIONAL DETACHMENT, total LACK OF MOTIVATION, IRRITABILITY, RECLUSIVITY, IRRATIONALITY, INABILITY To FEEL LOVE, suicidal ideation, ANEMIA, INTESTINAL problems, numbness and tingling, PHYSICAL INSTABILITY, DOUBLE VISION, etc. The side effects accumulate slowly so we do not connect them with the Lyrica. It is more addictive than MDs realize, and hell to wean off of it. Must be titrated down SLOWLY. LYRICA NOW COMES WITH SEVERE WARNING LABELS IN SOME COUNTRIES. There are Support Groups for those whose lives have been nearly destroyed by Lyrica.

*********************************************

It felt like I was going to SEIZE. My mind felt ELECTRICAL JOLTS going through it. Pain in my body unbearable.
I've gotten the dose down to 200mg and going to quit. About three weeks ago, I started BLACKING OUT. I would just FAINT and Catch Myself Right before striking my head on something.