Monday, August 2, 2021

Hell Itself

My ability to interact with the world is zero,

ability to REACT to the world very low also

 

My ability to be touched by the world is al-

most zero too: it used to be my life quest to

 

Give meaning to life and find the reason for

existence - now that I know truth is relative;

 

Subjective - AND - I’m trying to honour the

inner conviction everyone treasures, I find

 

It is difficult to honour MY OWN truth: How

to decide which meaning to appropriate for

 

Myself - am I too lazy to exercise a freedom

that is mine to claim if only I would be willing

 

To break the rules governing my life? Being

on pension means being irrelevant in terms

 

Of production; though humanitarian causes

abound – How does one set about running

 

Around serving when the true philanthropist

jumps into the cannibal’s pot - and being on

 

Pension - to me, at least - means being so

isolated within Covid 19 - it’s a suspension

 

Of the reality we grew up with and now I am

left with a travesty of what we once thought

 

Was logical and good: BUT life cannot have

any value if it is conditional on living as if we

 

Were dead already? The real and only worth-

while goal of life is to figure out how to die with

 

Dignity as soon as possible: How to reach non-

physical life to take charge of consciousness –

 

Because living life within an emptiness like this

is not real - it should be described as hell itself!

 

[Pretoria, South Africa - Monday 2 August 2021]

 

 

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