The Dr Savage And Killjoy Alternative

This chronic headache feels like a sinus infection, but I can’t

go back to the medicos who nearly killed me by prescribing

Pregabalin indefinitely, at least I can show them the courtesy

of staying dead now that they have gotten rid of me, it would

be very nasty to disillusion them after they gloried in this

 

Irritating patient’s demise; by now I should have been deaf, blind

and using two walking sticks, hands turned into claws and losing

use of knees and feet, also loss of hair and teeth, and imminent

dementia of course - how can I destroy their happy illusion by

jumping up now shouting Surprise! and waltzing in with only

 

A sinus infection to show for their medical attempts to reduce me

to a vegetable, ready to supply the medical establishment with an

endless stream of visits as I die incrementally - no, I’m better than

that, I can find another quack, my friend Barbara knows an infinite

number of medical terrorists just ready to jump in and serve

 

Prescribing anti-inflammatories to which I am allergic, antibiotics,

penicillin, Arcoxia, Coxflam & Norephedrine, all igniting a fire in

my head because of the allergy - you know what, I think I’ll stay

home, take two Disprins and go to bed, no need to repeat past

disasters, visiting medicos experimenting to see which toxins

 

Will knock out my pain without killing me immediately, I prefer

dying on my own, happy and laughing: it sounds ever so much

better than the Dr Savage and Killjoy alternative…

My Perspective Is Growing

I walked into a glorious day, high silver sun on a

luminous emerald sphere - after sleeping well I

woke in paradise, still feeling sleepy and wishing

for more energy, things over which I have control

 

and squandering it - while mother nature, totally

beyond my control, presents the most beautiful

face, sapphire sky and a green carpet of grass

and emerald canopy of trees forming the most

 

enchanted garden - I can’t complain even though

I diminish my own experience by not following the

right regime, which has eluded me since birth - at

least my world-view has changed, from the

 

imperfect perceptions of a 4-year-old when most

people form their world-view to regard life through

this imperfect perspective until they die - to the

spiritual insight that we assign meaning to

 

everything and there are no limits except those we

impose ourselves, I’m still engaged in ridding my

inner eye from limitations and my perspective is

growing bigger all the time…

Short-Lived Storm

The sun came out with a silver shine and I woke from

hibernation feeling light and free, then a terrible wind,

thunder and lightning brought a dramatic storm, it felt

so good and cleansing, but all too soon the storm was

 

Over and the status quo returned before the weather

could act out & diffuse all the brooding storms in our

own hearts, we need a more enduring storm to carry

off the upheavals in human minds building all around

 

Us and within ourselves; I feel better when the weather

becomes an anthropomorhic personification showing us

how angry we feel inside throwing several tantrums on

our behalf, this short-lived storm is not good enough…

Love Exemplified

 When I feel life is a drag and I carry the sorrows of the world

upon my shoulders, I can sometimes see love shining like a

silver lining through the dark clouds & then this love keeps

me warm as I feel that life keeps growing colder

.

I have suffered heartache and pain and don't know if I can

face it again, but I can't stop now and turn back to the past,

I have come so far in order to try and change this lonely life,

I want to know what love is, please explain - I want to feel

.

What love is & I suspect your life might show me what it is,

I’m going to take my time looking around, I cannot find any

more places to hide, it looks like love has finally found me,

talk to me about love, the love that you feel inside, please

.

Show me how does it work, I'm feeling so much love which

I have to hide, you say love is hope & trust rolled into one,

love is acting with integrity keeping your word at all times,

always doing what you promised the previous day

.

You say love is wisdom knowing when and how to show our

love to others: Thank you for showing me and explaining, I’ll

never be the same after this conversation, life stopped being

a game, now it is a journey of discovery and I’m on my way…

Waiting & Patience Demonic Creations

My beloved wants the whole world to turn into a fast-food restaurant,

order given, order received, boom - no time elapsing in between, no

waiting, my beloved thinks waiting and patience are demonic creations

against which he must rail all the time to show the Almighty exactly

 

What a bad system governs the earth, he thinks some people were

born with a silver spoon - and since he hasn’t been born like that,

there is a supernatural power keeping him from finding bliss - he

wants happiness on his own conditions: everything he wants must

 

Manifest instantly, no planting seed and waiting for it to sprout, he

wants to live on the maxim of Open Sesame or he won’t play at all -

he is not engaging with life, just making endless lists and ticking off

accomplishments - everything achieved is a moment of bliss

 

Immediately forgotten in the next desire for immediate achievement,

now his life is on hold indefinitely until the air-con man arrives - he is

late, just to spite my beloved, part of a demonic complot, and until my

beloved can get a new pair of glasses, after cataract surgery

 

He is frowning steadily as he wants everything perfect immediately,

not wait for improvement as reading is difficult, the whole house is

seething in his rage against his terrible destiny - to have to wait - like

every other human being….

Most Exciting And Interesting Manifestation

It is raining in exactly the right way: at night so I can

lie in bed listening to it, not too hard with just enough

thunder and lightning to make it exciting, and tonight I

watched Strictly Come Dancing without criticism, just

 

To enjoy the spectacle & it was wonderful to feel the

goodwill of every participant, their dedication and joy

resonating with me - the only source of stress in my

life is watching the ‘White Collar’ TV series as Neale

 

Always ends up doing something illegal and I like his

character so much, I fear for his comfort and safety, I

like the FBI agent-cum-boss also, as well as his wife,

so when danger threatens all these I start feeling ill

 

The only challenge in my life is imaginary & underlines

how blessed & happy I am, my real life goal is to learn

the secret symbolised by fairy tales - to be happy while

following routines, to be content with the unfolding of life

 

As a journey - I used to be so impatient, could not wait to

get this life over with in order to reach the non-physical

consciousness - and it was all wrong; the only source of

joy came from meditating on well-written books and lying

 

In the sun: now I’m learning to LIVE and it feels as if I’m

still taking baby steps to prevent me falling back into the

alienation that marked my youth when I had decided -

based on insufficient data - that life was meaningless

 

A wasteful phenomenon, but today I believe life is the

most exciting and interesting manifestation there is!

To A Wise Old Sage

I’ll say hello to your face every day, you look

like a wise old sage, I will tell you a few things

you’ll never hear and smile knowing I’ve tried

and in the grand scheme of things, you will

 

Hear these in the non-physical world, maybe

read it in the akashic records - maybe angels

will whisper it to you; since you are wise, you

will realize that we’re all doing our best and

 

Though we fall short of our ideals, we pick up

the pieces and dream again and this morning

I’m going to watch a real-life fairy tale again,

unfolding on my TV screen as my favourite

 

Young visionary and humanitarian explains

how she keeps her connection to a higher

Power which keeps her energised and then

those who plug into this stream, share the

 

Delight and energy, what a wonderful privilege,

and I’ll tell you all about it as now that you are

growing wiser with age, you have decided that

there is much more to life than just physical

 

Destruction and total annihilation, thank you

so much and greetings from your wingman!