No Spiritual Respite

Now’s the time to test my resolve, unable to sleep,
the direct result of my idiotic choice to eat what the
rest of the family had: hamburger patties, determined
to enjoy the illicit pleasure of white rolls also;

bravely announcing I’ll take my punishment – but now
that I’m in the situation, unable to bend my neck or sleep
at all; painkillers unable to stop the pain in my head, once
again it is painfully clear that dietary rules

are my only recourse for a better quality life, I stare at
the picture of purple fairies without seeing anything,
untouched in my steel cage of painful bars, wondering
how to apply positive teaching that the right attitude

would take the pain away – clearly I cannot master the
right concentration on a subject of meditation, I remain
in my own earthly frame, bound to this moment without
escape, stuck in space-time

the only explanation that I must have chosen suffering
before coming to the earth plane, otherwise quantum
physics and New Age theory make no sense – frankly,
right now nothing makes sense

definitely not the heavy pain in my stomach or the
iron steel tightening around my head, having failed to
master religious ecstasy, there is no respite
of a spiritual kind…