Chem In My Head: Donkeyskin

31 March 2009: At least the fairy tales
provided me with the ability to recognize
the chem in my head today - “Donkeyskin”
looking in the mirror and noticing the clothes
I wear, green and brown and black, simply
because that was in my cupboard – almost
like a big game hunter.

Yesterday I bought my doll some accessories
because she is so beautiful, a multi-dimensional
blue bag, flowers around her neck and garish
plastic hair clips, so fitting for a computer doll.

She stares with wide-open, surprised eyes at my
computer screen, sharing my own feeling of being
flabbergasted by what the world is offering.

I affixed a piece of blue paper to the window to
keep the sun out when the arrogant sunbeams
become too much and the office heats up and
my computer screen becomes illegible.

I switched the contrast down to 39, otherwise
the bright screen hurts my lasik-eyes. But
now Donkeyskin will go down to the restaurant
and start the day in true royal way with some
ice-cream - without a positive starting point
the day is jumping up and down without control;
I need to focus one strong mental beam on typing
lists, and within a moving day that is impossible.

All loose feelings need to be tied down, all stray
thoughts need to be moored safely, my mind buried
in a safe bay so the dead part of my brain can do the
requisite administration without my going nuts.