The Most Beautiful Pain

The nun was right in “The Nun’s Story” by
Kathryn Hulme, since we live a life of pain
in THIS universe, the only choice we have
is between various kinds of pain – and I
prefer the most beautiful pain to any other
kind - ugly, noisy, devoid of aesthetics pain
is worse than any other kind – the nun chose
the most beautiful pain

I prefer the kind of sacrifices she made to any
other kind life requires of us all; all she needed
was a criminal mind on entering the Order and
she would have made a painless transition into
that falsely holy religious life – I’m sure I would
have done it spectacularly in a most criminal
way; since pain is a given in this inter-subjective
reality, the pain of a nun

Is the most attractive to me; I would have con-
fessed made-up sins and kept my own council
and eventually escaped the pain of human re-
lations; I think becoming a nun is the most beautiful
selfish thing, it would have suited me perfectly; to
keep at such a distance from other people - therein
lies freedom, the thought patterns of other people
hurt us; self-flagellation need only be a sham

A ritual that brings peace through its symbolical
value – all other physical acts are so deceptive
and disappointing; I prefer symbolical penance
to false love!