Nothing At All

I have fallen out of my life, I am not present
within the outline which indicates where the
real me should be, no feelings, no dreams

The hope I harboured inside proved to be
without meaning – I have forgotten what I
used to hope for, nothing new to replace

What used to be, just cold emptiness in my
heart, wait, my heart is lost, freezing again
like I did as a child, no significance left

Life was like this in the beginning, the great
divide between virtual warmth, a good book,
a piece of music, a story - and -

The emptiness of real life without room for
emotion as an ever-increasing descent in-
to a million small deaths on a daily basis

The pain ought to be gone - yet it is not - the
pain is all that is left, oh yes; even pure
misery is preferable to nothing at all