Hermit-Existence

Rereading “Ageing is an Attitude” I laughed
when realising that what the author depicts
as the more reflective, slower lifestyle of the
elderly, applies to how I have lived from my
youth; no wonder I do not see the distinction
between young and old and what has to be
changed with increasing age

Now I happily settle into my hermit-existence
with more self-confidence - relishing my best
Cinderella-dreams as the most glorious vision
I could conjure knowing manifestation would
only have spoilt them; glad that remaining as
I am is the best thing while dreams shall lead
to ever more magnificent visions


‘Aging is an Attitude’ Cecil Murphey – AMG
Publishers, 2005

Amplify Inner Visions

Finished reading true private eye stories searching
for missing persons, so many people romantisize the
past and early experience; we should enjoy our visions,
not try to find them manifested in real events, it is better
to fail in tracing old flames or abusive parents

Imagination enables us to improve on reality and create a
better world - the fact that the past proves their memories
of young love wrong, teaches us to look ahead to create the
best future we can, instead of trying to find idealized images
in real life – we should project these dreams

Into the future, striving to amplify our inner visions…


‘The Man with the Turquoise Eye and Other True Stories of
a Private Eye’s Search for Missing Persons’ – Norma Mott
Tillman with David Hunter; Rutledge Hill Press; 1995 ----
“Fanning Old Flames” pp 131-137

I am Mute (Revised)

Today is lost, I could not navigate
a steady course, mind disturbed,
nothing claims my concentration,
surfaced now and again to where
my head is snared in a net of
meaninglessness

Could not create a purpose or set
a Don Quixote task, cannot dream
the impossible dream for mother,
a hip replacement which financial
constraints make impossible, pain
her constant companion

No state hospital operations, only
self-funded private interventions
so how long should she need to
suffer? Nor can anyone alleviate
the pain – only her trust and faith
will pull her through,

To know she has to endure the
destructive agony of pain dims
beauty of life, makes me unsure
of myself and the meaning of
spiritual growth I assigned to
simple existence –

I could not breathe without it or
hear music; she must be released
from jeopardy, freed of pain, I am
mute in face of her suffering, my
head aches as my heart burns
shrinks into oblivion

A Wild Palate

This must be the scourge of allergic people
everywhere on earth, trying out new dishes
amazing new sauces from heaven, innovative
sausages with velvet textures - such delight
for a wild palate, enjoying forbidden pleasures

Exulting in the universal camaraderie of gourmets
then, terrible discomfort and malaise, torpor and
lassitude - uncontrollable urges to lie down, when
horizontal, neck stiffening, back contracting
the poor sufferer turning into a contortionist

Bending the body out of shape in an attempt to
become more comfortable in a body turned into
iron and steel, aching bones and joints, sinuses
clogged, breathing stops, life throttled out of the
glutton, once again new resolutions are made:

Tomorrow I shall be wise, only eat and drink the
tried and tested – if only I can survive the night
without succumbing to pain and fright…

Pulse Of Life

The simplistic soul of the small
organism revels in sheer joy of
existence, delights in basic being
as magnificence, enjoying mani-
festation as creative realisation

Requiring no other justification for
appearance, exciting pulse of life
is quite enough, ecstatic in being
present in abundance - all that is
required for throbbing, shining

And singing in total abandon to
wanton life, passionately aware
of being there, here and every-
where, no beginning or end to
the energy that is self-aware

Intelligent electricity magnetically
loving, nurturing and propagating
itself – indefinitely!

Albeit So Weird

I do not trust the long rinse and spin cycle of the
washing machine, loud and insane, scrunch up
the washing, making careful hanging to obviate
ironing impossible; I always interfere in rinsing-
spinning since washing machines have been
designed by demons bent on torturing humans

My distrust of all kinds of machines; except my
adorable laptop who takes every word it is fed
and returns it to me in the script I like; led to my
never using a dishwasher, an evil device that
runs in unfathomable cycles driving me crazy
with uncertainty about objects and motives

And degree of cleanliness; therefore I turn the
kitchen radio to Radio Pretoria (because they
play German music, the bedroom radio stays
tuned to FM Classic, TV alternating between
Nat Geo Wild and Deutsche Welle while the
big screen TV remains on sports channels)

And wash the dishes by hand; - I forgot to
add detergent when washing Tiaan’s dusty
clothes two washes ago, somehow I hold an
irrational belief washing should require little
detergent if any– and the washing machine
did not remind me – hah! – point is

While it is impossible to wash by hand, my
wrists go numb as I scrub and twist - the
washing machine is a strange invention
that refuses to wash in a way I can
understand; but I shall always use
it, albeit so weird…

Crystal Landscapes

And then you said, These are wild dreams and
mesmerising schemes, how can I go on, how
listen to the song; and I said, But you are strong,
your wings are wide now that they have stretched
to encompass the biggest scenes your mind can
hold, your view enlarged, your song won’t die,
just go and please try to reach yonder horizon

Then you flew with arms outstretched, you jumped
into the abyss, all seemed lost but here you rise
again, carried on currents of brilliantly coloured air,
the dream is so great, the ideal so beautiful, it in-
flates the mind and carries the spirit to the green
pastures of old which now start to seem like crystal
landscapes glittering in diamond and gold

Shining in azure, agate and aquamarine

Sweet Repose

Everything served as stepping stones, I am not
grieving as the end appeared to be a new be-
ginning; a higher flight, more enchanting delight,
no fear at all, this deep dream unique cannot let
me fall as the silver chord and golden thread
weave in patterns of meaning eluding me still,
but beckoning more beautiful then ever before,
a masterful voice uttering words so choice, my
soul responds, my heart rejoice, my mind be-
calmed makes me see the sweet repose that
used to seem completely out of reach: if it is
there, if it is calling; I can follow because
I know where the doorway is…

I Was In Being

lifted off, flying away for the first time
in ages, reached the dream universe
where spiritual experience reach the
sublime -- when my characters were
enclosed in the ambience of magical
feelings and conveyed the sensation
to me I was there, in virtual reality,
where I can experiment with
alternative ways of being…

so keep on whispering, it is working,
keep on flying, destiny is waiting, joy
indescribable - I thought it lost, but I
was wrong, it was here all the time
waiting for me to catch up - it took
all my imagination, conjuring a
myriad characters; only when I
discovered who was the key
and tried to use it

the door to magic opened again,
I was in…

[Sometimes the door is in your head,
sometimes in your heart, you can
never tell until you try]

Searches for Persons

U-oh, private eye searches for missing persons,
a beautiful client tracking her first love refusing
to meet her, she switched to previous boyfriend
who reacted the same way

Leaving me with a thousand questions, an un-
solved mystery – what about this woman was
so abhorrent to her former acquaintance; why
is there is no answer -

Then the case of a strange woman’s look-
alike daughter dating her own unknown father
and the mother still shocked and reluctant to
spill the beans – Oh no

I had better return to more salubrious material,
these human interest stories trump the tabloids
for insoluble mysteries that spoil all my waking
moments…


‘The Man with the Turquoise Eye - True Stories of
a Private Eye’ – Norma Mott Tillman with David
Hunter; Rutledge Hill Press - 1995

Alive, Aware And Free

A lie-detector expert, Clive Baxter, attached
polygraph machines to philodendron leaves,
tracings showed typical responses obtained
when subject to brief emotional stimulation,
he decided to burn a leaf and the tracing went
wild showing fright, the plant read the threat
he only formulated in his head!

‘The Secret Life of Plants’ by Christopher Bird
and Peter Tomkins proved that plants respond
to thought, speech and prayer – but scientists
questioned their experiments which could not
be replicated indefinitely, only sensitives elicit
a response from plants which means they found
character determines results

This has been confirmed by quantum physics:
observation influences the object observed as
well as observer, particles follow expectations
appearing as wave or fixed point reacting to pre-
conceived assumptions; these pioneers have
been vindicated by the quantum’s probability
curve replacing pre-determination

Intensifying my fascination with all things wild and
wonderful – the clockwork universe requirement
for inevitable predictability destroyed by random
probability; every particle is alive, aware and free
to choose existence to non-being by means of
chemical communication*


‘The Reader’s Digest Book of Strange Stories,
Amazing Facts’, Reprinted July 1977

“Do Plants Have Emotions? Sensitive creatures
in the plant world” - p 91

* Studies in the Kruger National Park has shown when
a tree’s leaves are eaten, nearby trees change their
chemical composition forcing herbivores to move
several trees away to find fresh, sweet leaves;
thus nature prevents overgrazing, if animals
are forced to eat nearby leaves, they die of
bloated stomachs

Displacement

Just finished rereading “Wee Free Men” introducing
Tiffany, displacing suffocating allergic reaction due to
culinary indulgence by diving into the enchantment of
Terry Pratchett’s wonderful prose

Did not want the book to end, the story should continue
for eternity… sometimes I try to leave the land of dreams,
Tiffany found dreams were used to lead people astray –
then I eat things that make my life miserable

And remember why transcending reality is necessary, I
cannot give up the rearrangements I make since living in
physical discomfort is counterproductive; dreams enable
me to experience marvellous adventures

Which cannot exist in my little world and although I would
like to be practical and impress with my common sense, it
is impossible to stay within the boring inter-subjective con-
sensus we call reality, even when clever people say

It is irresponsible and childish to let the mind stray from the
life at hand - I will not give up this delight to impress anybody,
the joy of creative fantasy outweighs all arguments offered by
people with deep frowns and drooping mouths

As the virtues they try to urge on me left them feeling cheated
and bitterly disappointed, I see no reason to join their misery if
I can do my job adequately with several other worlds spinning
wildly in my mind and heart


“The Wee Free Men” – Terry Pratchett – Doubleday 2003

THE THIRD EYE & LIVING SUNDIAL

THE THIRD EYE

The third eye grants a knowledge divine
says a Sanskrit Manuscript, with the light
of a million lustrous suns, today scientists
suppose the pineal gland to be the third eye

White and grey tissue, pea-sized, cone-shaped,
buried at the back of the skull on the brain’s mid-
line; primitive, light-sensitive, producing hormone
melatonin - melanin pigment for skin/hair colouring

Manufactured from serotonin, a chemical in the pineal
enabling rational thought, when blocked by LSD, man
suffers schizophrenia and hallucinations – the pineal
gland affects body processes and the emotions

Lobsang Rampa said when the third eye opening was
made in his head, the pineal gland enabled him to see
the aura – the angry red flames spurting from violent
people, I am glad I cannot see that

Though I would have loved to see the pure golden aura
around the heads of the holy – and the purplish blue
around the truly spiritual…


‘The Reader’s Digest Book of Strange Stories,
Amazing Facts’, Reprinted July 1977

“The Eye of Enlightenment” - Mystery inheritance
from our remote ancestors - pp 44 & 45


A LIVING SUNDIAL

Man, the living sundial, blood changing just
before sunrise and living life within three
rhythmic cycles - earth’s daily turning on
an axis, the moon monthly orbiting earth,
the yearly earth journey around the sun

Pulse, temperature, hormones, blood pressure
and breathing rise and fall in tandem with the
world’s spin – since ability, temper and resis-
tance to infection are controlled by all these
rhythms and sunlight spurs hypothalamus
action which stimulates hormones -

It explains why date of conception has such
a huge influence on temperament
and attitude!


‘The Reader’s Digest Book of Strange Stories,
Amazing Facts’, Reprinted July 1977

“Larks and Owls – The inner clock that rules
our lives” - pp 51 & 52

Such Sweet Belief

A wonderful life, serving his fellow-man
the only fear of old age is death seen as
non-being until resurrection at the end of
time to face his loving God – such sweet
belief led to amazing accomplishment, he
is to be commended

He never allowed an Arthur Findlay to
influence him, never checked the British
Occult Society or Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
on continuous awareness after death, nor
allowed reports of the reincarnated to
distract him from now events

All he fears is non-existence until he awakens
in heaven – however much I admire his life, I
cannot pay the same price: closing my eyes
to all contrary evidence in single-minded de-
votion to duty; for me the magic of quantum
physics and magnetic energy

Is too wonderful to be ignored for religious
peace of mind and serving the temporary;
I love enduring ideas of eternal conscious-
ness much more than fleeting imagery -
yet I am glad people’s happiness is in
the hands of believers like him…


‘Aging is an Attitude’ Cecil Murphey – AMG
Publishers, 2005

An Exclusively Grouchy Group

Aging is attitude: what you are when you are young
will come to pass as you age; the biggest problem
is this book was written by a pastor with years of
loving community service, he even served three
missionary years in Africa, he recommends
service and teaching to fulfil the older
person’s need to be needed

Given that I am not a community person, never
mastered the art of participating in group acti-
vities, found teaching impossible; found my joy
in solitary pursuits practiced against a back-
ground of other people’s activities without
direct interaction; I do not meet the
requirements set out in my book

To create a carefree and happy old age - how to
relate to people in groups when I failed to do
so in my youth, all I hope is that cantankerous
and irascible people who love seclusion as
much as I do, will age with me so we can
form an exclusively grouchy group…


‘Aging is an Attitude’ Cecil Murphey – AMG
Publishers, 2005

A War Zone

Kitchen turned into a war zone, books from
library making up for lack of colours removed
at your request, two wooden boards to lift
my books high for easy reading

‘Mind, Magic & Mysteries’, ‘Strange Stories and
Amazing Facts’, ‘True Stories of a Private Eye’
by Tillman and Hunter; Cecil Murphey’s ‘Aging
is Attitude’ – such fun finding these

I shall read them one by one, already doing fine;
discovering ‘in retrospect we turn trauma into the
best of times, our worst experiences are decisive
moments for change of direction’

Already - in my life - this is the best of times…


1. ‘The encyclopedia of Mind, Magic & Mysteries’
by Francis X. King

2. ‘The Reader’s Digest Book of Strange Stories and
Amazing Facts’, Reprinted July 1977

3. ‘The Man with the Turquoise Eye - True Stories of
a Private Eye’ – Norma Mott Tillman with David Hunter
Rutledge Hill Press; 1995

Cannibal Squid And Ninja Shrimp

Cannibal squid and ninja shrimp, three
pupils in eyes on mobile stalks, mysterious
tides of red algae, fragile seahorse dwarves
found in the Caribbean

Palpable disapproval in angry frowns, I put
everything bright, glittering and beautiful away
lay down to watch TV, Nat Geo Wild, squid and
shrimp and seahorses and Wizards

Deutsche Welle, Weihnacht in Deutschland
Gefangenenaustauch, Heimatorte, Geizel
der Hamas freigekommen sind im Glanz
der Lichter und so weiter

Schlittschuhlaufen, Bundesligatabelle, langsam
voran perfekt zubereitet, Feiertags, Euromaxx
Weihnachten im Vatikan, Weihnachtzeit auf
DW TV - aufgehängt, abgetaucht

Ausgestellt, Projekt Zukunft, Backen war
immer ihren Leidenschaft – grossartig - die
meiste Menschen fehlt die Zeit selbst zu
backen – Faultier – ich lache…

Return to the Dream

‘Through The Wormhole’ Morgan Freeman
debating whether intelligent life exists in our
universe led to my mind getting stuck on the
wrong mental station where my fictitious
characters cannot help in resolving
the argument

My five senses let me experience the dead
universe which Morgan Freeman insists is the
only thing in existence – making me feel so des-
perately lonely; I need an alternative to the
physical depiction of a cold and
lifeless universe

My instincts and feelings require the mystique
of Spiritualism and Occultism to empower my
‘dead’ body in which the ‘thinking ghost’ is en-
closed to work efficiently; the ‘thinking ghost in
the machine’ theory is suffocating – let me
return to the dream

In order to lead a happy and productive life; let
these scientists enjoy their self-created dark, cold
and meaningless universe restricted to their illogical
assumptions of undesigned life, the limitations of
their senses and the contemporary level
of their technology


“Through The Wormhole” - Channel 251 - BBC Knowledge

Magic On The Quiet

Charmed by the wonderful wit of Terry Pratchett
in Carpe Jugulum, sharing Agnes Nitt’s admiration
for the Right Reverend Mightily Oats’ kindness in
helping Granny Weatherwax under the ruse that
she was helping him and Granny’s grudging res-
pect for a priest of Om no longer burning witches,
not burning in holy fire himself meaning he is truly
an honest man and bringer of light to dark places

The ramifications of the situations which reveal the
true nature of the protagonists who face them, form
a string of magical events that glisten and shine in
my imagination just as they do in Indra’s heaven
where every pearl reflects all the other pearls

The logical consistent action of Pratchett’s main
characters forming a musical theme that plays
through all his books, carefully camouflaged from
the regard of the casual passer-by who does not
pick up the shining strands to follow them to their
harmonious conclusions

Led astray by the science of materialism used to
lull unobservant connoisseurs into believing that
empiricism forms the basis of Pratchett’s edifice –

And I shall leave it at that, delighting in magic
on the quiet….


‘Carpe Jugulum’ Terry Pratchett, Doubleday 1998

Highest Happiness

Finally swam today, went down to the pool where a 16 year old kid did not mind having to escort his mom everywhere – the boy is a treasure; went down the slide and thought I would flip over the side while going around the S-curves, especially when turning nearly 180 degrees trying to sit up from laying on my back which increased the speed much to my chagrin because it made the whole experience terribly scary, this Russian Babuschka no longer minds who runs away when she appears like a docking whale Watched a Swedish horror movie with English subtitles and a suitably gory red-mouthed vampire protagonist, stark in its total lack of joie de vivre; finished reading “Good Omens” by Pratchett and enjoyed Adam, the loving antichrist, so much as he reordered the world to keep it alive and give him time to enjoy his eleven-year-old joy in being a young boy in the English countryside and everything around me appeared as magical as it appears to Adam, soon I shall reread the ending again, it is so charming – how marvellous to read wonderful stuff; it is the highest happiness there is!

Child’s Play

Travelling by means of an affordable magazine
from Demi Moore, open marriage to Kutcher who
had to make his babies elsewhere and thus lost
the delight of his broad-minded wife who meant
freedom to breed is only her prerogative

To Designer Coffins for glorious burial, a son beating
cancer just to be killed by a wild group of teenagers
at night, an Indonesian man ravaged by a mystery
tumour disease, a Limo truck with a 14 million rand
bathtub – into the jaws of a Crocodile lurking

In Russia where would-be suicidees, despondent
because they have so much less than Demi Moore
cannot grow skeleton-slim because their husband
cottoned-on to the meaning of open relationship,
desperate because they cannot afford

Designer Coffins or take a ride in a Limo truck; did
not get cancer or were killed at night by belligerent
teenagers nor managed to be ravaged by a mystery
Indonesian disease; inject lethal mixtures of codeine,
paint thinner, gasoline, hydrochloric acid

Phosphorous and iodine so their flesh turns scaly and
green and peels away from the bone while entertaining
its owners by forming black holes in their bodies until
they end up with gangrene, iodine messing up their
endocrine system, metals causing corrosion and

Shut-down of liver and kidneys, phosphorous destroying
bone-tissue; wow, such existential pain in the desolation
of post-communist Russia, makes the rest of the world’s
woes seem child’s play by comparison…


“People” SA’s affordable weekly, December 18, 2011,
Vol 20 No 50 - Quotes from many articles and specifically
p 56 Warren Robertson “Into the Jaws of a Krokodil”

Transfixed

A Dior-clad skeleton, lipstick perfect,
brilliant specimen advertising disaster
relief while illustrating famine effects

A self-centred fashion icon starving to
death in an attempt to stay fatally slim
dying in two or three weeks at least

Keeping to a masochistic regime, she
shall be dead soon; I stare transfixed
such a fate could never befall me

I top up all ‘faux pas’ in food intolerance
management diet by adding more food-
stuffs to keep liver and kidneys busy

Leaving insufficient time to process
the allergens, lessening physical
and emotional distress


“Good Omens” – Terry Pratchett
Corgi edition published 1991
p 71

Infinitely Different Ways

Reading the Apocrypha, speculating why Church
Fathers said young Jesus taught scribes while
rejecting the content of his lessons delineated
in the Arabic Gospel; did they realise only
vague mysteries would survive?

Enjoy reading how Maria cured ills with the water
of Jesus’ bath, how He explained Aleph-Beth to
ignorant teachers - the Bible Scribes knew they
could only get away by presenting not too
incredible incidents

Using subjective criteria to decide what would make
the flock subside before religious power; I also devise
my own criteria for choosing that which would make
my life a work of art, ignoring pedagogues’
restrictions because

Expectation and belief can create anything - I put
my trust in all things that increase freedom, beauty
and happiness, never force my dreams on anyone,
respecting the need for experiment and adventure,
all prefer painful experience

To verbal examples, it is our right to enjoy suffering
as much as we like, learning that dealing with
consequences is the price we pay for
freedom, having fun in infinitely
different ways

Blue Tango – taRAM!

Drove to work in a misty grey cloud of driving rain
enlivened by Leroy Anderson’s The Blue Tango played
loud, heart striving to rise from my chest, longing
to be the mischievous theme ‘taraTAtataTAra’ while the
more sedate main melody happily dances by itself
‘taratataRAtaaaaa, taratatatatataTAra’

I pulled off the street and sing along, this is the tango
I want to dance one day, arms bowsprite high, head
back, stepping with stiff legs held in the arms of Death
my favoured Discworld personality, I’ll offer him
time while dreaming of being Lady Time myself,
conquering life – taRAM!


The Blue Tango – Lyrics

First Performed in 1951
Lyrics Added in 1952

Here am I with you
In a world of blue
And we're dancing to the tango
we loved when first we met;
While the music plays,
we recall the days
when our love was a tune
that we couldn't soon forget
As I kiss your cheek,
we don't have to speak
The violins, like a choir,
express the desire
we used to know
not long ago
So just hold me tight
in your arms tonight,
And this BLUE TANGO will be
our thrilling memory of love.

http://leroyanderson.com/lyrics.php
www.musicnotes.com/sheetmusic

Unsure of Myself

I try to prepare for the end of year meal, stringing
miniature beads on fishing line should do the trick
keeping my fingers busy and my mind at ease, but
it isn’t working, I have already started to turn into
Quasimodo, the hunchback, tonight

Already my eyes are out of focus - I feel unsure of
myself, I know my presentation is not the right thing
and I cannot blame my colleagues for thinking that
I am an idiot, being with a critical group is torture to
me, my ideas anathema to them

I should be used to it, yet I cannot feign interest in
desultory conversation, general topics constitute
danger to my consciousness stream, whenever
I see an ice floe of shared interest and try to
leap upon it, another’s expression kills it

It is but once or twice a year this visitation comes
upon me, surely I am old enough to carry my cross
of ineptitude calmly – I wish I could be Alice with
them – but no, I turn into a stone troll during a
group activity - such is my cross:

Stupidity, feeling more self-conscious than Agnes
Nitt and Magrat Garlick combined – and I have no
inner Perdita to sustain me when facing all my
colleagues combined

Beyond Harps And Pitchforks

Came the clarion call – oh come, all officials, come
collect diaries and bags to prepare for next year,
obediently we trooped downstairs to receive a
mousepad flashing in orange fluorescence

Took an extra one for Madame Pompadour - missing
in action again; Hanlie took one for June who refused
to leave her chair, too enamoured of her computer
to move at all, this morning June lamented:

Vanity, vanity, all vanity; Hanlie checked Ecclesiastes
for grasshopper similes in four languages: Afrikaans,
English, German and French - June said she would
read the Apocrypha during December

I said I love Muslim stories about Jesus as a real little
cowboy when He was small – said to have shrivelled
his teacher’s arm – Hermien objected, claiming ‘The
little boy Jesus was as sweet as an angel!’

Hermien has three sons herself, how can she believe it?
Humming happily I returned to my desk, started to edit
recalcitrant documents thinking; soon I shall be in the
veld - golden grass and the glorious sun

In an ineffable African sky – why should I worry whether
Hermien has seen the Apocrypha at all - the picture of the
little Jesus will forever hold sway in my heart - and since
the Church Fathers rejected reincarnation

I accept reincarnation as fact, rejoicing about life ever-
lasting - beyond harps and pitchforks…

Last Day At Work (3rd version)

Have already filled in a production sheet to prove I
did useful things after suffering immensely with
Internet flickering like demented Christmas tree
lights, losing email connection intermittently, but
suddenly my desk is clean,

Now – after completing my documents in a
demented state, fuming at the mouth, mind un-
stable, Disciples of Cool install a cable to ensure
continuous Internet connection; they arrive like
too late Angels of Mercy to be of use this year,

Too late, too late! I want to cry, too late by a hundred
years – do you know how much pain and confusion
your deliverance delay has inflicted on me? But I
subside, determined to pre-pave a smooth way into
a shining future, ready to chant old Dutch psalms

At eventide next to a blazing fire when the sky changes
into a velvet canopy studded with stars creating bling-
blings that make me long to paste glitter on every dark
possession that lurks in my cup-board at home…

The Best Gift

Maria von Trapp complained
she couldn’t stop singing and
saying everything that comes
into her mind, in tribute to his
favourite flibbertigibbet

Pratchett invented the Chattering
Order of Saint Beryl Articulatus with
Sister Loquacious and Sister Voluble
who were free to be quiet for one hour
on Thursdays only

Pratchett’s causal narrative makes
redress for all past injustice, fills me
with inspiration to visualise the office
as a Chattering Convent and to project
the holiday resort

Which we are going to visit as a corner
of unsullied paradise and YOU as the
best gift the universe could ever provide,
thank you for every moment of time
you spend

It is the highest compliment and when you
polish uneven lines, you do the work of
angels and change my consciousness
into an experience of the Divine…


Good Omens – Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
Corgi edition published 1991, pp 33,36, 38,& 41

In Heaven Also (Revised)

The worst thing about heaven is it only boasts
two world-class composers: Liszt and Elgar,
the best of the rest – Bach, Beethoven, Brahms
and Mozart apparently all went to hell:
I shall gladly join them there

Hope to meet Bizet and Strauss as well and that
some enchanting demon finally teaches me to
dance properly, preferably a waltz and a
wonderful tango – like the one Death danced
dramatically with Renate Flitworth

I hope Vivaldi with his regular beat and
Stravinsky with his musical themes in
single row explosions are in heaven
also where I shall not be – and never
need listen to again


“Good Omens” – Terry Pratchett
Corgi edition published 1991
p 55

Literary-Minded Cleverness (Revised)

Thank you for the tick oh Literary-Minded
Cleverness – it is not only your melodious
rhythmical poems I revere and eschew
to stay on the straight and narrow

But also writings by others that might
awaken emotional responses other than
humour, inspire spiritual or uplifting
ideas – many write poems ferociously

I dare not seek the music which your
poems flow apace, must avoid magic
which my ten o'clock break desires
reading beautiful soul-stirring stuff

Couldn’t return a sedate official to my
chair ready to tackle boring texts –
would be a sprite floating in space or
a mermaid in my mind, having fun

Unable to relate to ice-cold reality; are
you proud of my self-control at least,
consciously waiving short-term joy for a
salary to spend on my kids education?

Righteous Dustbins

Coffee break at ten, whirled through the
antichirst’s birth as retold by Neil Gaiman
and Terry Pratchett - the Spawn of Satan
without hoofikens, looking unlike his daddy-
waddykins as Sister Loquacious remarked

Brought to a Chattering Order where nuns
speak incessantly, however inconsequential,
in marvelous contrast with the usual nun’s
tale of silence broken by delightful renditions
of holy songs all jazzed-up; I laughed aloud

This day is blessed by this great piece of
irreverence, creating a context in which I
can read little documents, my mind held
in thrall by the righteous dustbins of this
saintly tale – thank you so much!

“Good Omens” Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
Corgi Edition 1991; pp 35 and 37

To be a Leitmotiv

A beauty that mesmerises, a description of a trip
a stream cascading melodiously with a wonderful
beat, so beautiful, it hurts - why does true beauty
inflict a feeling of hurt - at least for me?

Maybe because of my irrational desire to become
part of it and I cannot, especially of visual beauty
which used to drive me insane with desire to fuse
with the scene - since it is impossible

To become part of the landscape or objects like
flowers and seashells… this poem drives me to
distraction with a hurtful desire to become
a melody - a piece of music myself

To be a leitmotiv, a theme, notes in sequence
and harmony - you will think me mad when I
try to explain that your melody is galloping
with such beautiful rhythm

Camouflaged Flaws In Reality (Revised)

Pratchett’s vision in ‘Men At Arms’
overwhelms – the enormous scope
of scenes he paints reduces me
to tears and silent wonder

Sam Vimes’ income spent caring for
widows and orphans of deceased
watchmen; Angua facetiously claims
he spends it all on women

Captain Carrot explains Vimes one-
man pension fund scheme, tells how
he lives frugally to provide for those
he sees worse off than him,

For this he receives fairytale rewards:
marries Ankh-Morpork’s richest woman
made a Knight by none other than the
undercover Ankh-Morpork King –

Captain Carrot – who finds evidence of
his kingship on plunging his sword into
granite, destroys powerful GONNE after
reading documents proving his lineage

But steadfast and strong, turns from his
birthright to the throne, preferring to remain
a watchman – this solid nobility becomes
overpowering narrative causality

Pratchett remonstrates about fairy tales
yet creates luminous, delicate, enticing
magical tales for these two characters,
weaving details as Discworld sagas

Despite cynical commentary on society
and human nature, Pratchett idealistically
creates wonderful bubbles of fantasy,
camouflaged as flaws in reality


“Men at Arms” – Terry Pratchett; Little, Brown and
Company edition, 2000

One Illusion (Revised)

A change of perspective is the best way
to deal with depression due to tastefully
wrapped Christmas gifts with allergy-
causing honey, chocolate and cheese

Delicious shivers when I read the Pre-
Cambrian era lasted 300 million years
as an ice age - 800 million years ago:
if we humans exist on a planet

That survived such disasters, why worry
about anything - if a sudden catastrophe
plunged Siberia overnight into sub-zero
temperatures for 15 thousand years

Why should I worry about losing my mind
when I eat - the Beresovka mammoth was
found frozen, half-standing, buttercups in
its mouth, still edible, ivory intact

What on earth can be worse than that? I feel
so much better - disasters of the past make
the present seem like a dream - one
illusion is all that I need

“The Atlantis Blueprint” by Rand-Flem-Ath &
Colin Wilson; Little, Brown and Company 2000
pp 11, 12 and 15

Sunlight Through Rain

How we feel moment by moment is the main event
so we feel like dying when moment by moment the
email goes off, the Internet connection is lost, blood
sugar plummets - I suck sweets to remain upright

Moment by moment words haunt me: we must save
earth from greenhouse effect, save energy; yet air-con
is churning, Kingley becomes a furnace without it, what-
ever we do to survive, we are guilty: do not drive a car

Switch off creepy in pool to create a crocodile swamp
(Scorpio would go insane) the sea overheats because
of the increasing warmth of the sun, in France four by
four vehicles are almost banned to save their coastline

Moment by moment incidents keep us in tears inter-
spersed with maniac laughter in quiet surrender and
grim determination to play the game for a pension
though devaluation may mean hunger in any case

Moment by moment changes in existential situation
mean everybody feeling great again, enjoying sun-
light shining through rain, no reason to complain,
every sad feeling opens another space

To be filled with new grace...

Leap Into The Wind

Cautious, cold words throwing ice water
on all enthusiasm – good grief, thank you
very much, indeed, what a sad, cold world
it is, but never you mind, I have Miss Bianca,
Mary Poppins and Pollyanna inside to pull me
through when drowning in ice-floes is the only
option left

So I get out of the trenches and rest my mind in
the higher dimensions from whence came these
very trenches in the first place, you don’t know
that these trenches were once only ideas also
and with new dreams, new places and new
ideas shall be begotten again, we need to
speed up

Leap into the wind, take chances, run
forwards, a too cautious attitude kills the
flames of enthusiasm and spells the end
of all games and leaves everyone feeling
cold and bereft