Mindless Delight

Not swimming nor riding waves,
but floating to  become one with
the undulating waves and the
sphere of the sky, floating –

Then sleeping on the beach till
thinking cedes in contentment,
my delight is to float unfettered
and free, experiencing concepts

Known as words only, my self
abandoned to something bigger
than I, restrained by mischievous
waves I can’t stand, churning

In foam with rocks scraping knees,
the clouds connect sea and sky
and I rest in nature’s endless bounty,
lost my mind in the enchanting

Lilt of these lazy waves lifting me
before I roll into a breaking wave;
words fail to describe joy in be-
coming bare awareness

Free from conscious ideas, reduced
to pure sensation while being rocked
in the cradle of the sea, nothing can
convey this quiet feeling of

Mindless delight...

Rock-Strewn Sea [REVISED]

Broken through today’s great boredom curve
fighting to ride the tide of new surroundings,
from a round high-edged table on which to
type to swimming in a rock-strewn sea where
standing is precarious - to tasteless chicken-
schnitzel smothered in atrocious sauce

To watching a watercolour-sunset morph into
a tasteful grey although visual imagery won’t
alleviate boredom; Douglas Adams’ satire on
time travel offering a brief escape ending on
a wooden bench where my beloved extolled
the virtues of a mid-year jaunt to this beach

My impatience converges with long-suffering;
all conversation losing interest indicates it’s
unrelated to the real world, now the feeling of
alienation in a new place is abating - but oh,
to reach a point of no bad meals, no cleaning
all-pervasive sand from swimwear and -

Now I know why people stay out of the sea:
riding high-tide waves is nearly terminal while
wading at low-tide is boring in the extreme…

Head Over Heels [REVISED]

Arrived at the beach, ran into the high-tide sea
to be turned head over heels and washed back
to the shore whiplashed with sand all over me,
smashed while tumbling in the waves, teaching
me the rule to be obeyed on every beach: wait
for low tide before you chargeee into the waves

Back at the flat I rinsed buckets of sand out of
my pants deciding to play it safe before entering
the fray - it made my day when I received sweet
chocolate treats from the kids; with potatoes and
runner beans on the stove and NatGeoWild on
TV, it might become a perfect holiday…

Cannot Figure It Out [REVISED]

I can close my eyes when an image disturbs me;
but even when pressing fingers tightly in my ears
sound still intrudes, harsh voices wreak a timbre
worse than any other pain inflicted, I increased
the TV volume then hitting a channel and level
of noise is suddenly unbearable; at work we’re
separated by screens but sound is un-allayed

If headphones and iPods hadn’t been invented
I’d have lost my mind, tonight I realise again the
importance of harmony as my son’s deep bass
music intruded, calm can only be found in sweet
melodies - and a message was sent to my brain:
life’s about sounds, ears are more important than
the eyes - then something suddenly struck me:

Is this only true for women, do men prefer sensuous
images to other sensory experience or does sound
also mean very much – I cannot figure it out…

Sheep Easily Fleeced [REVISED]

Sis found help in a Christian book describing
a vision readers can apply to their own lives -
it tells how bad human decisions are used by
God the Spirit to a believer’s benefit; calming
my sister’s nerves - content in the end things
will work out without her feeling scared

I’m glad, when she’s unhappy she spoils her
plans; the vision is a union between New Age
ideas and conventional religion - based on a
Proverbs Wisdom & fundamental literal view
of Adam and Eve, great theory to make true
but the author ascribe his ideas to God

“Love is blind obedience” expecting readers
to accept without query the author’s theories
presented as ‘irrefutable’ truths expressed by
a deity who manifests as a supernatural trinity
which defies rational analysis; everything said
blindly accepted – but I believe we create

Truth through beliefs and we’re free to choose
these - I applaud attempts to help fundamental
believers but by putting words in a god figure’s
mouth, rational inquiry is stopped and only blind
obeisance can bring salvation; thus believers
MUST be gullible, although history

Proved this doctrine dangerous; informed choice
needs protection against religions exploiting their
disciples to obtain power and wealth by using the
religious injunction “live in obedience” to create
flocks of sheep - so easily fleeced…

What Hatred Is [REVISED]

She doesn’t love him, she can’t - frankly
he’s unlovable; only a mother might love
such a brute - or a daughter, but his own
mother did not love him. I am a daughter
loving him because, as he grew up, he’s
me in an older, less privileged guise

I’ve his podgy hands, hairline, the short,
stocky build and toes, his love for telling
stories; I share a musical inability, can't
master electronics, am too clumsy BUT
speak with my own voice, don’t talk like
him, fought against it since I was small

Imitated mother’s diction, always on her
side if they fought. My brothers express
disgust at mom’s incapacity to love dad
& grandma Alice; dad is more unlovable
as time passes - my sis treats him like a
brain-dead child while mom attempts a

Disrespectful tone, spiteful and nasty
as if failing to force an ethical ‘ought’
to help dad who sounds like a demon
himself, their awful interaction sparks
such outrage in me I leave when they
converse; her undisguised contempt

Insults both dad and me, her total lack
of consideration for his intelligence is
crystal clear though she won’t admit
she detests him, her obviously false
behaviour evokes the worst from us
and thus she teaches what hatred is

I Am a Part of Them

You had no interest in what I did and treated me like
an invading pest - but mad activity changed the event
into adventure, a challenge to load a million packets,
bags, a radio, fridge, TV and its stand plus chair into
the pick-up truck; finally we drive to the nearest mall
where in one restaurant mom & I ordered warm tea

While the Duchess waited impatiently in another, we
had to change tea to take-away and go over to sis -
there was no time to be sad, or to sing a farewell song,
mom gave me three beautiful blouses that she’d made
and I gave them my present for dad - then they drove
off to the Cape and I came home

With my gift of pot plants - but all you did was frown,
giving me a speech on how unwelcome a gift it was;
but I didn’t take umbrage, knowing I could write it all
down, my surprise as the Duchess apologised every
time she was impatient; looking at them I see myself,
they are part of me - I am a part of them

Art Of Planning Things [REVISED]

All night running from bad thoughts, watching TV programmes
for relief from inner storms, frustrated by things I can’t control;
my sis The Duchess simply jumps in, does things without any
seriously involved planning evident

Bought a house, spent one week packing and next week she’s
moving, no time to consider things carefully, no time for me to
help since my holiday was already planned last year, if only my
sis The Duchess could learn to plan ahead

Allowing me to assist her moving from place to place; five years
the longest she’s stayed anywhere with one job before moving
on - ignoring that she takes not only herself with her but drags
mom along for company - although

At eighty mom is in the way - the frustration this causes means
both will have a difficult time and the reason for all this is a wild
whim, the happy inspiration with immediate gratification; within
two weeks she and mom will be gone

No careful consideration of the relevant aspects - the Duchess
never plans carefully, it would contradict her beliefs - she sees
and jumps immediately, the Queen of Hearts at her side, what
will result from this? - I shudder to think of it…

2 previous five-year periods were fraught with stress and pain -
will the Duchess gain by this new move or does she simply take
her problems with her? I think she does - yet my worrying won’t
change anything - even though I can’t eat or sleep

For thinking how different it could have been had she acquired
the art of planning things …

Carte Blanche In Everything [REVISED]

Ugly red, green and cream - table-cloth and cushions
you bought for our new wooden table and chairs, not
blue, not purple, but black place mats - now we have
really unsightly red, green and black; you wanted to
rig out the new patio table & chairs immediately, and
now, see, it is all decked out

In hateful colours because I was visiting mom in the
old age home thus losing all say in its accoutrement;
ugly tablecloth and cushions on the chairs, I hate the
combination of red, green and cream, the image of a
cock is totally devastating; to you I accept no fairy or
angel theme could have been acceptable; but surely

A colour scheme might have been something which
we both agreed on, so here we go, a pinkish-purple
runner would have been beautiful right here, but you
rejected it out of hand; what a fool I’ve been to give
you carte blanche in everything…

Promises So Much More

Remember Balito – of course I do, when we returned
from holiday, hair sun-bleached, colleagues enquired
whether I had dyed my hair, ran out of the flat straight
onto the beach and then into the sea,  and in between
checking vegetables on the stove while you sat glued
to a scrambled TV screen trying to watch world cricket
and ignoring the sea

We drove back in the red Renault passing through the
Zulu country - The Valley of a Thousand Hills - - while
cheerfully waving at friendly people, heard only after-
wards it was dangerous territory; so yes, I would love
to stay in the same flat on the beach again, get up to
run straight into the sea - a lot of rocks to circumvent
and swimming carefully

Taking care not to hurt feet on sharp reefs underneath,
show the kids where we holidayed before hoping they
will love it as much as we did many years ago, me less
athletic and you hopefully in possession of DSTV so as
to watch without messing up your eyes with scrambled
images – ignoring the sea, saying you don’t care what
we do as long as

We leave you alone, I remember my loneliness then –
my joy is having the kids even if they are at the stage
where mother is perpetually in their way, yet they only
laugh uproariously and then help me with everything,
this holiday promises so much more than the time I
only had you for company…

To The Power Of Infinity [REVISED]

I’m searching for something - an
event that feels so good I’ll recall
it long after it’s past - something I
can savour and delight in long
afterwards, and not fleeting

As beauty in new faces fades
as visage acquires character -
or romance exciting only if mystery
of the unknown hides the
other party, just to die in a

moment’s familiarity replacing
adventurous discovery - and the
eye grows weary of regarding
the same, ordinary boring
things… I’m searching

For a beloved book already filled
with magic by my imagination,
structures to make mind games
possible - maybe an allegory
with an always charming

Stark outline, a bare delineation
creating shadows, spaces
my mind sees new meaning in;
an ability to dream using
power of thinking changes

One object into another, though
previously seeming to exist
outside of me, today I know its the
reader who interchanges energy
and reality

In dreams which create new
dimensions in an infinite
series of visions
growing
to the power of infinity …

Can’t Die As Yet [REVISED]

Like watching a continuing series I can’t stop and
take stock or try to watch earlier episodes - what
is lost is lost, no time to back-track, must move on
to the next episode broadcast; even in reruns of
‘So You Think You Can Dance’, I don’t want to go

Back to beginnings, just move with the latest in an
old series - same goes writing my poetry to record
life and attendant feelings, I can’t die yet because I
can’t stop to take stock, to reduce the fresh young
growths of inspiration to Japanese-styled

Bare bamboos in a few significant lines, my ideas
are still all curlicues and dreams, young blooms un-
ready to be trimmed to bare essentials or polished
to shining hard surfaces, ice-cold glittering facets -
can’t die yet because time will come to a stop and

Take stock; impossible right now, episodic series
of my life not over - and contemporary inspiration
& ideas still superordinate quiet consideration and
rumination - so dying in hope of experiencing an
infinite series of being cannot be fulfilled as yet…

Lighting The Way [REVISED]

I can choose to remain outside the story in my own time
or give up the sharp corners and strong lines of iron-clad
reality, jump into the candy-floss of soft fantasy and soar
with characters in illusions they dream of escaping their
reality, a dream that answers all their current dilemmas -

They find themselves within a fairytale enacted on stage,
creative innovation grappled with, positive effects of an
insistence on individuality, renewal of old ideas fills the
protagonists with new fire as they present their creative
dreams, I begin to dream with them - a world where my

Fantasies come alive, songs I sing in my mind renew, I’m
electromagnetic energy resonating, freed to engage in any
thing that appeals, right now freedom to dream renews my
spirit, determines me to do my own thing while images
are shining in my imagination lighting the way…

Get My Revenge

Feeling impressed with myself I went to take
the pill keeping my psyche from over-secretion
of adrenaline; moving in a rose-coloured dream
I took my sleeping pill instead intended for the
hour just before going to bed, oh dear –

Tonight’s activities are curtailed and tomorrow
morning at 4 o’clock I’ll be up and about - does
not matter, tomorrow within a week we shall be
in Kwa-Zulu Natal at the sea-side - both kids
coming along, both teasing me but with such

Good-natured bonhomie I can’t complain – well,
not too much, my self-esteem is going for a dive
yet at least they’re still talking to me, more than
many another parent can say; sitting here in pink
Nici already retreating in a mock display

Of shock at my being so pinkly brash – hah!
– one day I shall get my revenge, grandkids
are bound to appear and show her the error
of her ways!

Carmine Heaven [REVISED]

It is a tragedy, this burlesque of good intent -
a morbid quest to wear deathly black & grey,
off-set by an apron with white polka-dots on
red - while I prefer my colours surely sweet

I hate the haggard grey and acrid black, in my
donning a carmine pyjama top, carnation scarf
& silver-white wrap I’m once again me, feeling
the warmth - whereas this barbarous and

ice-cold red, black, & grey depresses the joy
of feeling Bruno lying at my feet in an azure
blanket - no sharing my silver wrap with a dog,
carnation scarf in line-of-sight and Steve Irwin

Swimming with crocodiles on screen, I’m warm
again in carmine heaven; Bruno heats my feet
and sight becomes tactile charm - recalling our
school colours were red, black and grey -

Even my spirit won’t relive that…

Rust And Good Taste (REV.)

You made it clear the bright colours I wear
aren’t to your taste, so a cerise top chosen
first goes back into the cupboard today -
out comes the zebra stripe top with black
jacket & pants alleviated by grey

The amazing excitement of GREY making
my heart race, how joyously daring to use
scintillating grey to break the monotone in
the conservative black of good taste - and
I have a silver and white wrap also

Besides, black suits me best & without a
colour code at work I’ll be colourful there
but here I’m depressed as classic black
changes a zenith blue Snow Queen into
an ugly old witch in domestic drag

But I refuse to be saddened, life will still
shine radiantly keeping its beauty as the
covert Snow Queen goes underground
keeping her dreams intact against
space-time, rust and good taste…

Assassin Snow Queen [REV.]

Wishing to accomplish something I rambled about
and found a black velvet assassins’ Fedora in the
Chinese shop, the cerise one with blue and purple
flowers I wore got on my nerves - silver nail polish
now greatly augments a Snow Queen feel which
complements a sophisticated assassin deal

Returned to an office so hot I can’t breathe, wet nail
polish means I can’t rig a sun screen or don shorts
to replace thick black pants combating earlier cold,
the Snow Queen’s in a hot spot - replaced my hat
with Snow Queen crown, a shiny Alice headband;
accomplished the above before a dreary

Afternoon within a chocolate breakfast sugar effect
compounded depressively by cake on a stick mom
and I managed to eat - I really miss healthy eating
and books to read, bored with my own  company
but loath to inflict myself on anyone else as I feel
invisible within a misty pink allergy, though

Don’t tell others my sorrow since they think I’m
always happy - yet it’s the joy of their presence
as soon as I’m alone allergy invades my space
making me depressed, I hope the new Fedora
fires my imagination to soar to dreamy heights
and jump through the magic portal to

Leave the reality of space-time governing within
the form of our universe’s amplituhedron to gaze
with joy at the soul’s infinite landscapes waiting
to be explored by time travellers like me – an
Invisible Assassin Snow Queen

…

Role Playing

Strange - when mom talks about moving to the
Cape as decided a week ago, her voice seems
strained as if she’s role playing - it sounds more
like one off to her doom ‘delighted’ to be sinking
into Hades with the Phantom of the Opera

Such is the case: my Duchess-twin is the first
Phantom and dad - Conan the Barbarian - the
second; both overbearing and bullying mom to
take an ethical ‘ought-to’ route; she ought-to be
glad to be moving to the Cape, grateful

To be supporting the Duchess - Mom’s whole life
has been centred on ‘ought’ starting with marrying
Conan, believing herself obliged to uplift him - not
consulting her own feelings, later asserting them-
selves in her becoming a Queen of Hearts

Living a private life beyond Conan’s crudeness, as
a Phantom Queen she could never play a forgiving
Christine to redeem his mentally disfigured being &
she loses all rational sense when faced with my sis,
even I lose all intelligence when my twin -

The peppery-tongued Duchess – is in charge…

Conan the Barbarian



 A Phantom Queen of Hearts 

The Duchess

When You Falter [Rev.*]

I wish I could talk and receive a reply; from
one, it’s follow rules, no bad news or lengthy
discussion of books and events, and from my
Bro, it’s freedom to send poems but without
any riposte, the reply is polished lines with-
out comment, queries or explanation

I’ve no-one in whom to confide, no-one to
help me sort out life or deal with feelings;
my wish to help beloved people is thwarted;
spiritualists say love everyone in objective,
universal ways and I do, without attached
condition or prejudiced discrimination

So why’s no-one special accepting my gift
of trusting affection, why disappear as if
you’re discouraged; I love your voices so
tell me what’s bothering you, of your fears
or confusion with life please, because I’m
listening with  affection

For a poet whose words sing in ways never
met before, for mother who is moving away;
let my words lift despair and depression, do
not hide in solitude - loneliness is never an
antidote to suffering as analysing feelings
often reveals new solutions, and an

Escape from anxiety, isolation and hidden
sorrows; mom, let me be there when you
falter in following the ethical ought-to in-
stead of your own palpable emotions…

[Rev.* Final Revision]

Elegance (REVISED)

Here’s a disturbing lesson in ethics with virtues for us
to apply: ‘People without real morals should have high
standards’, meaning it is a breach of good manners to
hurt those who cannot defend themselves, worse than
offences against humanity - aha!

Nursery-room psychology for upper-class morality – it
is in bad taste and shows a lack of bon-ton, so flawed
in elegance its more deplorable than African genocide,
more unsettling than eccentric wars in Iraq; elegance
is a wonderful, elusive quality that entices

A blasé Great Gatsby statement, a Shantaram moment
in a Bombay café; ah, elegance with crystal chandeliers
against Baroque ceilings, tuxedoed assasins listening to
classical music while packing guns in black velvet violin
cases - this is perfected humanitarian ethics where

Altruism’s seen in choosing elegant funeral clothes…

Unsolicited Help [REVISED]

Seeing my colleague Annette suffering I lose all
self-control (a wonderful thing), bang a blue sun-
screen over an icy air-con with books to weigh it
down; Stop, she warns me, Hermien dislikes it
when its blue dust sifts over their books

Busybody-me ignores her & Valkyrian Hermien
walks in, ice-cold stare at offending sunscreen;
Annette softly apologises, trying not to offend
me, the real culprit: It was Marilese, I tried to
stop her but she wouldn’t listen to me, she

Was so solicitous - voice trailing off; a reply with
great self-control - Yes, it’s cold - a long silence,
then a military voice saying - It’s warm enough,
remove the sunscreen immediately - I comply,
recognising a storm in the coming, while

Admiring her cold self-control and flying away to
tell a confidante of my disrupting Hermien’s well-
ordered life just by feeling sorry for a colleague
and trying to help - the most unwelcome thing
among self-assured, self-reliant officials

I need self-control watching others enjoying
their fate with masochistic delight; not offend
by offering unsolicited help…

The Female Psyche (REVISED)

I’m too heavy to ride the flimsy new wooden
chairs forwards with a bang you pointed out;
knowing its true angered then saddened me,
hating you, though I preach forgiveness and
respect yet can’t stand criticism, as if my

Self-esteem depends on your opinion of me;
it’s bizarre, weight can’t dictate how to deal
with my environment - I hate the beautiful
new wooden table and chairs while this has
nothing to do with them - every time we fall

Prey to emotional upset our physical system
is weakened; 80-year old mom’s kept young
by music in her veins; I’m livened by words,
iambic pentameter lines my poetry-studying
son says - though I doubt my expression

Merits this description, writing only helps me
cope - I’m emotionally fooling myself to think
self-esteem depends on weight - oh no - of
course it does, since this is just the way the
female psyche operates…

Love Story Of The Ages [2nd rev.]

It was wonderful, De Santillana & Von Deschend’s
interpretation that old myths and legends illustrate
precession of the equinox – now I read our planet
earth’s not wobbling upon her axis, scientists say
our Sun is dancing with a Dark Companion Star

Wobbling is illusionary, our blue planet belongs to
a celestial court pirouetting to the symphony of the
Sun serenading his Lady Star - as they circle each
other waltzing around the Milky Way centre where
they bow and curtsy, bobbing up and down, then

Start spiralling in a wild carousel to be caught in
the forceful attraction - of an invisible minx in the
far-off depths, igniting an imbroglio between the
3 beings while our happy blue Planet is regaled
by changing zodiac signs; now we know the

Solar System faces inert space together and our
Sun is NOT a lonely bachelor - he’s locked in a
dance with his Dark Lady Love completing a full
circle every 24 000 years in the Love Story of
the Ages; how much can poets read in this

Stately dance taking so many years to complete
creating a dramatic intrigue of infinite pages; how 
lovely to know that our blue Planet is anchored 
beneath the firmament - stable on her axis!

[ORIGINAL:]

It was wonderful to read about precession of the equinox,
De Santillana and Von Deschend’s interpretation that
old myths and legends illustrated this, now the discovery
is that the Earth is not wobbling on its axis but our Sun
has a Dark Companion, this movement causes the illusion

Of wobbling while the Earth simply moves with the Sun
around a centre formed by two big Stars orbiting each
other, everything falls into place with this theory as the Sun
spirals around the Milky Way moving up and down like a
carousel; the whole Milky Way Merry-Go-Round is

Attracted by an invisible mass in the far depths of the
Universe; the phenomenon of Earth facing a different sign
of the zodiac is real, but it is new that the whole solar
system faces inert space together and the Sun is not a
lonely Star any more, he has his own binary system

Locked in a dance with his Dark Lady Love circling each
other every 24 000 years – this is the Love Story of ages,
an intrigue of infinite pages – how much could scribes read
into this Stately Dance taking so many years to complete
and how lovely that Earth is stable on its axis!

 

The Last Song [REVISED]

In a black cobweb top Alice can’t move freely
through the house - she’s catching herself on
projecting surfaces, corners, things that open
and close; slinking slowly along passages she
thinks of the last song to be sung before mom,
Queen of Hearts, and Duchess leave the land

To move to the Cape; her sis the Duchess said 
she found a house, bags are packed, they sent
her a picture of the new house near Oudshoorn
and De Rust close to Langenhoven’s birthplace-
author of Lullaby for Liefstetjie, a beautiful song
for singing a baby to sleep; this Saturday will

Be the last time she’ll sing a song in the acoustic
chapel of the old age home; thereafter she’ll see
her family only when the Lord and Master of the
Crocodile Castle takes his Crocodile family to the
Cape sea; Alice knows Conan, father of Duchess
& King of the Queen of Hearts will be thrilled as 

He complains in a loud voice, secretly pleased
his life changes as always happens under the
Duchess’ governance; Scorpio tells Alice to be
resigned, go visit whenever the stars decree it
right - Alice, now wearing a black sleeveless
top in place of the cobweb, is lost for words…

Endowed

A fairy crocodile in a kitchen glowing like a
translucent pearl in the slanting autumn sun,
bewitched by the music of Barcarolle - living
in an iridescent crocodile castle where tree-
tops obliterate a bright blue sky - tonight

More magic when I merge with Contestants
on Strictly, dancing with wild delight until my
song joyously irritate the crocodile family al-
ready forbidding Karaoke as too noisy; just
finished reading Terry Pratchett’s Mort -

I’m floating where Listening Monks wait to
hear the first sounds of creation, referring
to astronomers seeking the left-over heat
radiation of the Big Bang Theory thinking
invisible attraction must be dark energy

Representing nine-tenths of creation; on
Mother’s Day one crocodilliken is taking
photos, the other selling frozen yoghurt
& the Lord and Master of the Crocodile
Castle is enjoying the Grand Prix

I’m meeting the anthropomorphic Death
in new dimensions, being so happy now
nothing else exists except my fantasies
lifting me into a new universe where
every dream is fulfilled and

Endowed with eternal existence…

 [ORIGINAL:]

The kitchen glowing liike a pearl, iridescent in the  
slanting autumn sun, the enchantment of Tales of
Hoffman’s Barcarolle filling the translucent space,
I’m alive as a fairy crocodile within a magical place
a pearly castle in a wood where treetops obliterate
a bright blue sky, tonight more sorcery when

I shall merge with dancing contestants on Strictly and
twirl as free as a leaf in the wind, imagination fired so
high I shall there share the experience with wild delight
making me sing - to the exasperation of the rest of my
core family who refuse me the right to sing Karaoke on
the grounds that I make enough noise already

Just finished reading Mort by Terry Pratchett, floating
in a world where Listening Monks are waiting to catch
the first words and chords of creation – a reference to
modern astronomers looking for leftover heat radiation
from the Big Bang they fantasised as means of creation
of the multiverse with non-physical being registered

As dark matter and energy which Pratchett calls the 
Auditors administrating ALL worlds, representing the
nine tenths of everything we feel but cannot see; this
is mother Fairy Crocodile Day, two kids both working,
one crocodilliken taking photographs, the other selling
frozen yoghurt; the Master of the Crocodile Castle

Watching Grand Prix while I’m dreaming about a new
reality: Death - living outside time - befriended by us
fairies finding succour in our fairy arms – and portals
to all dimensions are open; belief in their existence are
creating more alternatives - I’m the happiest dreaming
human being at this moment in time, nothing else

Exists besides this phenomenological now, fantasies
lifting me outside our reality to a new universe where
every dream is fulfilled & allowed eternal existence!

Can You Dream [REVISED]

Oh, what a misunderstanding, how did it come to this?
You should dream, anything, make visualisations that
make you feel good ignoring reality in which we live –
look away from everything that makes you feel bad &
unsuccessful, I do not want you to face reality? No!
Reality is a trampoline, touch briefly then bound

Into your dreams, leave facts of real life behind, let
this provide impetus and energy to reach a virtual
space where you create fantasies, changing reality
to suit your personal taste – don’t tell things as they
are, tell them as you wish it to be and live in your
own new reality - can you dream, will you try?

A Frozen Heart [REVISED]

Tried something new for breakfast, now I’m
allergy depressed, the world I could barely
see now moved away completely, stomach
burning, nose constricting and ears zinging

Head starting to stretch and I can’t count or
say the alphabet, the thin silver line between
me & reality is growing thinner and soon my
feet won’t touch the ground, not because I’m

Floating but being in Dungeon Dimensions
where the sands of time stretch out eternally
and Lady Time haunting glass castle corridors
seeking her missing son, my emotions freeze

Being fragile, break on the glass of my blue
porcelain doll I’m frozen here, the black hole
in my head imploding until nothing is left -all
is gone, encased in frozen lead I cannot

Move, rooted to the spot - everywhere is
nowhere and nowhere is nothing, there’s
no world any more - sounds and forms
without meaning, a frozen heart dies

Let’s Visit Ninavut

Let’s visit Pangmirtung
in Ninavut, founded by 
the Inuit Tapirisat who
called to the Inuvialut
to join them in Ninavuit
formed by the Tungavik

Ninavut - ‘our land’ in
Inuktitut - ratified by
Quajimajatuqangit -
let’s visit Iglulik, the
capital of Ninavut &
Iquluit, its largest city

Let’s go to see the
tundra’s fall beauty,
the caribou migrating
from the pretty fjord
at Pangmirtung, let’s
visit Ninavut in Canada

Anecdotes

The Snow Queen loves the sparkle
of sun on the multifaceted face of the
beautiful jewel in which she lives –
- and do you think it strange
that the Snow Queen should have
a bower of gold in the sun?

Actually, there is an amazing world
out there and I am too tired to care,
Lady Time thinks as she lies down,
I make my abode in the jewel called
the Universe - where my friend
Space also lives, and right now

My mind has to inflate to accommodate
every aspect of subjective rhythm which
is governed by the moon - waxing and
waning, to prepare for the dance that is
portrayed by a whirling dervish swirling
in mystical spirals – Shall we dance

Would you like to feel the rhythm vibrating
right through your system taking your mind
back to a primordial state of original bliss,
then you can break free to enter the fray
of chaotic particle physics and the joy
of probabilities  - which means that

You can create and destroy as you wish
to learn what effect of your deeds you
wish to keep - and which effects did not
suit your evolving taste as you experience
more possibilities  - which can
repel or enthral…

Demented (REVISED)

New earphones too big, sound poor so I put
a thrice-folded piece of paper on my head -
looking weird but listening happily, then our
Chief Director arrives individually greeting
everyone - including me, I pluck the paper
thing off but too late, I’d been seen a clown;
luckily not so bad as the night my daughter

Walked in towing a new friend - I’m standing
in the kitchen, pyjama pants tucked into my
socks like a Cossack getting ready to dance
the trépak, & worse, toothpaste on my face
to rid me of zits, hair standing on edge like
an electric shock victim; couldn’t hide, just
tried climbing in a cupboard in front of me

Can’t remember her friend’s name, hope to
never meet again; when Nici is around the
house is a trap, her acquaintances arrive in
droves any time day or night - interfering with
my sleeping in front of TV, but I’m forewarned,
never again shall I be caught looking like a
demented inmate of an obscure psychiatric

Institution for psychotic & criminally insane

Still To Come

The amplituhedron is an infinite geometric shape containing
reality’s physical processes within its volume; its geometry
creates the picture of particles moving around within space
and time not fundamental to the system, to the contrary, its
mathematics suggest space-time is a property of an unknown
system similar to Indra’s heaven with its network of pearls

So arranged every pearl reflects all the other, illustrating that
every object is not merely itself, but involves every other, and
carries the image of everything else within, thus representing
infinite co-determination which suggests that reality itself is a
metaphor, time and space are the inventions of an embedded
observer – us – who constructed space-time geometry as

A unique way to quantify chaos - the beauty of the imagery is
staggering, reality being infinite reflections of Indra’s heaven:
the Snow Queen sees a wonderful celestial jungle gym where
an anthropomorphic personage, outside time and space, can
enter human reality and float within the triangular shapes of an
infinite jewel, dreaming of the wonders and beauty which are

Still to come…

Indra's Net

In the god Indra’s celestial abode a wonderful net is stretched
in all directions and there is one glittering jewel at every node
shining brighter than the stars because the polished surface 
of every jewel reflects ALL the other jewels; the reflection con-
tinues indefinitely, a beautiful metaphor for reality

The jewelled net is a hologram every part of which reflects all
the information of every other part; scientists use this analogy
to describe the cosmos and the human brain - touching any
jewel affects ALL the other jewels, all being interconnected,
each node representing a person reflecting the qualities

Of all other people hinting there is no inherent self - all people
are simply reflections of each other lacking one original source
to explain all existence and the reflecting nodes also illustrate
our inherent core of transcendent wisdom, every physical
thing moulds, colours and expresses these infinite

Reflections uniquely, shaping the information flowing through it
and I would like to think reflections of love are also uniquely
shaped, coloured and expressed by every individual as it
would enable me to love the Duchess who expresses
her sisterly love with great impatience but even

Greater gifts….