Life Is About [3rd rev.]

Pre-dawn train trip, speeding forth in darkness
of night, arrived in city floodlit bright, escalators
to catch the bus, speeding off to the stop where
Nici and I alight, on to the studio, key for the lock

Read until a colleague arrived & switched off
the lights, I walked off, no warm chips sold
anywhere, went to the venue for class - first
gate locked, walk around the block, in class my

Blood sugar drops, a sandwich meal the on to 
editing and proofreading, homework of course;
met Nici again, bus, train - lap-top guy leading
the way; passengers ranged like sardines

Into the car and peak traffic jam, at home I tried
to describe Nici’s strange colleague Jet looking
the walking dead, the death knell as my Beloved
fails to understand what I say – new plans:

Tomorrow I shall eat non-stop, no more blood
sugar problems while learning how to edit a
text - though I do my best it’s not for me: 
feelings are what life is about...

Ibis In A Tree

An ibis in a tree - hardly the view you’d expect 
of birds better known a-wading marsh flats, or 
now-a-days raiding urban dumps; you’d likely 
say it can’t be too threatened, yet as a matter 
of fact it’s about disappeared from the areas 
where it once used to live and breed freely 

And they nest in trees; hence, I guess, sense 
of comfort in lofty views isn’t wasted nor their 
worldliness - and they can see opportunity in 
picnicking forays that earn foul words with an 
ascription of being nuisances, which may be 
an overreaction to their egregious familiarity 

So don’t be surprised if sometime in the near 
future they arrive in your locality, set up shop 
in a tree and begin to patrol what they think’s 
open range - well, it is to them as they can fly 
on a wing and a prayer - make that a ‘whim’ 
and a dare - as the ‘Sacred’ Ibises’ Plan B 

© 29 July 2014, I. D. Carswell

Multiplied By Each Mind

Reading Jane Robert’s reporting as Seth, a non-physical
consciousness; intrigued by Seth’s insistence everyone
has many minds - he defines the mind as psychic pattern
by which we create reality, enlightened persons become
aware of their many minds & accept every one as the self –

Well, maybe I have many minds, every time the world
changes it might be me changing gears from one mind
station or a psychic pattern to another frame of mind;
maybe this is why I keep on gaining weight, becoming
aware of my myriad minds probably necessitates enough

Body to carry them all, but the one thing set as criterion
for determining the many minds theory; becoming aware
of reality as apart from perception of it – I cannot fulfil,
reality seems to be a TV image determined by settings –
the colour palette, the sound system, all the DVD’s and

Channels watched frequently; maybe my minds have not
been able to differentiate themselves – since I only know
perception of reality, not Ding-an-Sich – there goes the
explanation for my increasing weight, instead of attaining
samadi and enlightenment, I’m just changing channels

And should stop eating for every different mind I have – I
know my favourite minds, why do those others interfere –
maybe carrying too many minds is a serious weight case
caused by gluttony multiplied by each mind…

[Let us not forget, the crocodile mind is one of these, so is
the Snow Queen and Ice Princess, underneath it all we
find the translator fighting for her life amongst documents
she hates to read…]

[28 July 2014]

Wondering How

I know why busy people don’t have problems: they
have no time to think - a head without thoughts - an
empty mind never wasting time to surmise what can
go wrong: busy people has one specific virtue - one
code of ethics: work, work, work; morning, noon &
night, no family life, integrity based on one thing:

Achievement, victory through back-breaking work;
no place for wondering about meaning or beauty, art
and creativity; busy people don’t think about the why
of Right and Wrong - never see that Right represents
everything that furthers their personal goals  - while
Wrong represents all the obstacles in their path

Everything that hinders achievement of objectives,
though they don’t know why these were chosen as
the goals - the less active, pensive person sees the
world from above, outside the situation wondering
how the status quo came about, how people got so
busy they don’t even notice how they burn up time

And live in the emptiness of inapplicable ideas, not
using the criteria of utility and logic to measure the
assumptions that govern their activities, accepting
whatever they have inherited, protecting routine by
never trying out new things, never questioning the
status quo as that would waste their precious

Production time, discipline is the first requirement
of a happy life – the question why we are born and
what the universe means is deemed irrelevant and
left to thinkers who can’t fit in…

Cold Convictions [REVISED]

 

A short message - she’s dying and it hurts: now
everything seems meaningless, even hopes of
existence’s continued consciousness does not
remove the fear of losing physical contact with
this world; the terrible words that she is hurting
means painful experience in a great emptiness

I don’t know what to do to help her get through,
how to comfort and take hurt away or send her
support she so badly needs, all I can give from
here is my words, my belief in the power of our
ideas to shape reality such that we’re a part of
our spirit, a momentary manifestation of the

Indestructible electro-magnetic energy by which
our minds and feelings are continuously carried
forwards - even when the physical body is shed
and our spirit is freed from temporality -- these
words explain there is no death - only a change
in perspective; but cold convictions can’t warm

Me tonight, knowing about the afterlife - which
we create ourselves - does not change the bleak
fact that she hurts and I can’t do anything about
it, powerless to change anything - thus life feels
so empty and meaningless

Conjure The Music

You said you might leave us soon, I hope you
will stay awhile if you do not have to suffer too
much, I wish I could be there with you now; I’m
going to track you down if you go to that astral
sphere I’ve heard so much about

It will be easy to find you love, your harmonic
will shine with celestial light and I’ll follow the
tone of your thoughts ringing out until we meet
and dance and sing – whatever body we wish to
have will be ours, I’ll wish for

A body in a cloud with dancing and embracing
arms, you'll wish for a beautiful costume and we
shall conjure the music of delight we used to know
and dance anything we like, mazurka, tango and a
waltz – we shall do the things

We talked about and never got a chance to realise in life…

[For Tara]

You Lived Gloriously [REVISED]

Intense you lived, and fast - drinking deep of life’s cup;
curious, bubbly, bright - enjoying the marvel of feelings
alight in sensuousness, you are an exquisite butterfly
shedding the cocoon of physical life to discover new
dimensions, ascending harmonic scales of your own
flowing music resounded melodiously in your poetry

You were never engrossed in materiality, reaching for
life’s philosophical mysteries, studying consciousness;
you lived passionately, abandoning yourself to free-
flowing emotions of the present - of experiencing Life
and living it gloriously; you’re now facing the deepest
mystery of all, leaving the husk of an earthly body

To be reborn consciousness forever of you in a new
and exciting form of being - and I shall find you there,
we share this wavelength yours and mine, where your
lucid honesty’s joyous wonderment shines, charming my
spirit with your affection and love - I’ll easily find you
there, you won’t be alone, not with me as your friend….

For Tara

[25 July 2014]

 [ORIGINAL:]

The Wavelength We Share

You lived fast, intense, drinking deep from the
cup of life, curious, bright, bubbling - enjoying
the marvel of feelings and floating on sensitive
delight, your a beautiful butterfly shedding this
cocoon called physical life in order to discover
new dimensions, climbing the harmonic scales
of your own music in resounding melody

You had no interest in material things, researching
life's mysteries & philosophy to study consciousness
held your attention, passionately you abandoned your-
self to free-flowing emotions in the present moment;
you lived gloriously, experiencing Life: now you're
facing the deepest mystery of all, leaving the husk
that is just an earthly body we leave behind - and

Allowing your forever-consciousness to be reborn
into a new, exciting form of being - and I shall find
you there - on our wavelength, yours and mine, the
wavelength we share, where your lucid honesty &
joyous wonderment will shine charming my spirit
with your affection and love - I shall always find
you there, you won't ever be alone, not with me

As your friend….

For Tara

[25 July 2014]

Dream Of Life Eternal

Dear Tara, whether living or dying, you’re my friend
whether here on earth with your mind centred around
a body or non-physical consciousness living eternally
you shall ALWAYS BE my friend and I shall always
remember your beautiful music in free-flowing poetry
which denotes your genius - and we shall meet again

Wherever our vibrations meet in harmony on the same
wavelength - and your songs will live forever - we are
Best Friends Forever – eternally - do not let pain take
up your mind, get painkillers and dream of life eternal
where we shall meet and share the joy we have in this
continuous friendship – forever sweet and unique!

[25 July 2014]

Handsome Guys And Crocodiles

What’s it with handsome guys and crocodiles?

Just switched on to watch while pasting labels on files
and suddenly crocodiles pulled me out of the black hole
which had been sucking all books into its unfathomable
depths - preventing the books pulling me out instead

All at once I felt at fine, safe in my own skin, peace of
mind as soft contentment bubbled up after living through
a miserable day where I shuffled along like a long-dead
zombie, more depressed than the paranoid android

From Hitchhiker’s Guide; next episode in TV series, an
alligator covered in mud among angry Tasmanian devils’
growling; then Mr Handsome spending the night feeding
small animals brought home from the zoo; his poor wife

I’m perfectly all right seeing how good life is, ready to
share this with all those with black holes in their heads
and guess - it’s Gator Boys next, watching them saving
more alligators and crocodiles - my evening a success!

Audrey Hepburn [REV.]

Beautiful pictures of Audrey attached to
my Blogspot and sundry email messages
symbolic of my aspirations to seek inner
beauty, to emulate her sweet personality
since physical elegance is the domain of
highly intelligent youth & beauty queens
despairing self-respect & morality as well

As the discipline of a work ethic, but our
Madame La Pompadour -who denigrates
all equally- sent my supervisor an email
charging me with the felony of attaching
charming Audrey to an email confirming
an unofficial, undercover birthday meal
sent to six close work associates - she

Had my Supervisor censure my DARING
in attaching un-bureaucratic pictures that
desecrate ‘holy’ work emails - although I
never send any outside our section as it’s
closing down - furious I held my tongue
wondering what Audrey Hepburn would
have done - faced with this example of

Sanctimonious bureaucracy …

[23 July 2014]

[ORIGINAL:]

I love to attach pictures of elegant Audrey

to Blogspot and email as symbols of my
aspiration to seek inner beauty, to emulate
her sweet personality - as external beauty
is reserved for youth and beauty queens
with high intelligence who don’t care for

Self-respect, morality as well as a work
ethic - but then Madame La Pompadour
who humiliates all and sundry sent email
to my supervisor to denounce me for the
felony of attaching the beautiful Audrey
to an email sent to six special colleagues

Confirming an unofficial, rather forbidden
birthday meal; she ordered my boss to tell
me off for daring to attach an unbureacratic
picture which desecrate holy work emails –
which I never send outside as our section is
closing down – furious I held my tongue

Wondering what Audrey Hepburn would
have done faced with this example of
sanctimonious bureaucracy...

Bury My Unwillingness (REV.)

Here we go, sent on a course ‘proofreading and
basic copy editing’; in my frustration I see no joy
in the prospect, my eyes feel dim and my soul is
missing - somebody stole it, I’m without insides,
a hollow mask & an eerie Phantom laugh failing

To conceal confusion beneath, so I eat a mound
of sweets to fill the empty space where my soul
used to be - fleeing a haunting image of my son
seated at table frantically reading notes - he did
not listen properly in class; if only I could

Replace it with a picture of him calmly doing his
weekly assignments and me listening devotedly
to holy words on copy editing and proofreading,
trying all the while to still my shudders - fearing
boredom-to-be, if I frog-march march my son to

The altar of learning I’d better lead by example
and bury my unwillingness…

Rejoicing

A lifeline for Tiaan who thought a study guide
was just a waste of time and now realises it
represents important concepts - my son will
be caught in freefall by a new tutor

New beginnings for Nici who works under an
egotistic and clueless supervisor who has al-
ready lost many previous colleagues, every-
thing offers unformed potential events 

That might coalesce in something new and
exciting or peter out into nothingness, an open
future with  unlimited potential while the sub-
conscious guides us to pre-chosen goals

And objectives, I’m elated to know nothing can go
wrong because we never get anything done - that
every picture we paint with our lives can be erased
and redone in a new way, possibly even

Through reincarnation – the insight of knowledge
and wisdom means we can never be led astray by
prophets of doom while joy lies in trusting the good
and rejoicing in new experience

As we go along…

Agonise About Life

We descended into the bowels of the earth, a dank
storeroom with books, sorted them according to type
stacked them and packed them, Annette knew what
she was doing while I tried to keep up  - yet still put
books in the wrong box; hungry I had hake for lunch
 
And lost my sight - went as blind as a bat, worst is
the fish and chips tasted bad - without condiments
it was as bland as if washed in antiseptic oil - then
came home totally dysfunctional to discover so is
my son, marks indicating he’s in need of tuition to
 
Master his studies - I warned him he could not go on
if claiming he couldn’t study in advance - thus - though
I sang to the security guard and wore my pink hat, this
day was an eclectic mixture of happiness and pain, I
didn’t know which was uppermost – oh, it was pain -
 
My son never even knew what extra subject he should
have had - and sat for the wrong exam BUT I refuse to
break down just right now, tonight in bed there would
be time to agonise about life, especially as my darling
daughter decided to resign right now,,,

Cultivation Of Understanding [REVISED]

All the different versions and possibilities of every
event are actualised in limitless creative reality, just
imagine a world where the converse of everything we
do takes place in a full 360-degrees of alternatives &
and all non-acts are realised; there is a probable self

experiencing probable events in our place and sharing
information gained with our waking ego, enabling us to
make choices from unlimited probabilities; I understand
now how it was possible for me to feel threatened in a
dream while I have never experienced such menace in

real life - it was my dear probable self who underwent
pain in such a dangerous situation and gave my brain
knowledge of how it felt when the event came to pass;
life gives me time to relate to people slowly - instead of
running over them - the small group minutiae teaches

me patience and the cultivation of understanding…


[ORIGINAL:]

All the different versions AND all the
possibilities of every event have to be
actualised in limitless creative reality,
imagine a world where the converse
of everything we do takes place in a
full 360 degrees of alternatives, and
all our non-acts are realised; there is
a probable self who has experienced

Probable events in our place and then
shares the information gained with our
waking ego thus enabling us to make
choices from unlimited probabilities,
now I understand how it was possible
for me to feel threatened in a dream
while I have never experienced such
menace in real life - it was my dear

Probable self that underwent the pain
of such a dangerous situation - who
gave my brain knowledge of how it
would feel if such an event came to
pass, life gives me time to relate to
people slowly - instead of running
them over - the minutia of a small
group teaches me patience and

The cultivation of understanding

Bits And Pieces

A bits and pieces sort of day, nothing really took 

control to make impressions last, or covertly play 

parts where passé adages are pooled in a wash 

of their own rendering; so it’s null and void you’d 

like to say, blending in vast androgynous space 

And it stayed that way - like a conscious choice 

apace with itself; so even the greetings received 

were low-key mutations of a no longer longed for 

recognition staying clean of controversy - please 

keep some for me comes the plaintive cry 

You’ll have to think about that; why hadn’t those 

so-useful-in-the-past fillips spawned advantages 

you might cajole, tactfully of course, into routes 

marked clearly with signs and interval distances 

between what you’d hope to and can’t achieve 

You surmise there’s not a lot I could do anyway - 

my plan changed when the sun rose awkwardly 

and I couldn’t find reason to redefine objectives 

that were never mine; for me just getting by is a 

reward huge enough to hide in comfortably 

So you’ll live with it until something insuperable 

comes to pass; look, my hearing aids now catch 

the gist of conversations I did without for years - 

but I participated by reading lips - maybe its still 

too ingenuous to slip sideways from here 

© 15 July 2014, I. D. Carswell

I Love You My Son

I bought your birthday card months ago, dad
got you new sports shoes, I got you a cushion
to go with the yellow pelmet in your room that
I painted when you were still in primary school

Today you are 19 years old and every year of
your existence has been solid gold, your sense
of humour and chivalrous disposition bring joy
wherever you go, I prayed for you before you

Were born and always remind your guardian
angels to make sure they can find you to keep
you safe, your woes and victories are precious
to me - I never prescribe what you should do

Knowing you will follow my example, whatever
I say - I love you, treasure your presence and
enjoy seeing your crumpled bed reminding us
you are still young, it's a privilege to have you

Around, your barbecue skills and willingness to
help when I falter and make mistakes endear
you to me and you bring friends into my quiet
life - I love you my son, and always will!

[For Tiaan,15 July 2014]

Our Whole Being [REV.]

Our individual energy forms the
physical world; it changes only
when we create & declare new
ideas and discover who we are
through our products - learning
from our own creations

Ideas are powerful new realities,
we are responsible for moulding
energy, our eyes project the inner
image onto the physical world like
a camera transfers screen scenes
where image and sound do exist

For the senses to ‘see’, creating
ideas materially in the world, no
one already existed out there, we
created it - everything is result of
inner action as we change the
world from within; intensity

Determines manifestation, we
decide our personalities and
physical image - telepathy alters
so-called objective events beyond
space and time while creativity
permeates our whole being -

as part of All That Is


[ORIGINAL:]

Our own energy forms the physical world
which only changes when we form and
manifest new ideas & discover who we
are through our products, learning
from our own creations

Ideas form powerful new realities, we are
responsible for moulding energy, our
eyes project the inner image onto
the physical world like a camera
transfers images on screens

Image and sound do not already exist
for the senses to interpret, our senses
create ideas in the materially world,
there is no already existing one
out there, we create it

Everything is the result of inner action
as we change the world from within;
intensity determines manifestation,
we decide our own personality
and physical image

Telepathic thoughts alter so-called
objective events - we are beyond
space and time while creativity
permeates our whole being -
part of All That Is

Every Mind Remoulding Itself

Now it is crystal clear what eternal consciousness is,
a mind so big and universal it contains every scene on
every scroll of the Akashic records to be viewed either
as movement, a reel projecting frames onto a screen as
animated pictures, or as static, immobile experience

Remaining in place while more of the image is revealed
inflating in 360 degrees simultaneously while conscious-
ness moves between pictures at varying speed depending
on the reason for seeking  virtual experience, all human
interaction is forever emblazoned within 3-dimensional

Electromagnetic scenes containing every feeling of every
person existing forever in the scroll of their own life, life
can repeat every event to teach non-physical beings who
are preparing for its participation in eternal relationships,
all of us create our own script with the help of everyone

Who are part of the show we present for all consciousness
in other dimensions learning by proxy, all data inviolate for
the rest of eternity and we may freely return to any painful
scene to redo with new insight gained, we can prevent our
lives breaking into porcelain shards before it happened and

Change events to continue life with healthy soul and mind,
enjoying the magical journey through the bewitched halls of
unlimited, unrestricted infinity, rejoicing in life’s wonderful
variety, becoming one with the essence of light to shine for
everyone who cares to listen to our song that brings all

All harmonious frequencies together in colour, form, sound,
feeling and meaning - every mind remoulding itself!

[15 July 2014]

My Own Feelings [REV.2]

I need fantasies to clothe bleak reality with
haloes and clouds without which my mind
shrivels and dies - the sun fades and I can’t
feel the wind or accept life’s pros and cons
within the ethical ought of conditional love

When I stop colluding with my fey illusions to
find perspective in inter-subjective consensus,
time blackens like the plague while my heart
dies incrementally as I leave these dreams un-
till the pain of loss turns life into a nightmare

Then I resurrect each pristine, glowing dream
and soon the sun returns filling my mind with
nostalgic songs taking my soul into a safe place
of free-flowing tears expressing my secret joys
while passion reignites reality’s cold emptiness

I float away into a realm of fantasies finding my
own niche without being told repeatedly I must
agree with everything being said - regardless of
my own feelings …

[14 July 2014]


[ORIGINAL:]

To function at all I need certain dreams to stay intact,
whenever I dismantle them, expose a bare reality with-
out the haloes and clouds reached in every high jump
from reality’s trampoline into the ether above, my mind
shrivels up and dies, my soul shudders and I can’t see
the sun nor feel the wind or accept the cons as part of
the pros in the game of life

This weekend I decided to be realistic and ignore the
illusion with which life delights me to take facts as they
seem to be – time turned black like the plague and I
died moment by moment, keeping it up to wean myself
of dreams, but my heart broke and I could not sustain
the pain, making a u-turn allowing my inner child to
dream again - thus the sun rose

Life’s harshness turned into a gilded song -I HAVE to
live in my head where music plays and notes carry my
heart into my own private space of bitter-sweet feeling
where tears express secret joy – so let me go, I’m off
again because reality is black emptiness, a graveyard
of dashed hopes which can’t hold me, the dream is
calling and there is my space

Where I have a place without being told all the time I
have to agree with everything you say, regardless
of my own feelings….

Love The Train Set [REV.]

My 86 year old dad is entranced by trains - went to
the Chinese shop to see what they’ve got - sighted
a lovely discount toy train set perfect for his delight,
emboldened I bought him a steel steam locomotive
too, an ornament to complement the set

I want to help dad set up tracks and get the train to
run around their new house down in the Cape; also
found him a Swedish cap - can’t wait to see Conan
wearing this while we are playing, wish I could fly
there right now and watch his face, forget there

Ever was a time I could not stand him because of his
angry voice - I’ve always had a fetish with noise - but
today I love him so much, knowing what he had been
through - amazed he survived when he landed under
the hooves of mules as a boy - and when

He had to steal coal to warm his cold parental home
where without beds he and his siblings slept in old
coats on the floor; oh, how he will love the train set,
I can’t wait to get there!

[11 July 2014]

The Bunch In My Head [REV.]

Read on the Internet that at age sixteen Charlotte Church
lost her voice when she sang Carmen - yup, that’s what I
would have done were I in her shoes, stormed the opera
citadel, shown everyone what we can do, elated in being
alive and feeling vibration moving right through until the
very bones in our bodies rang -

Then crash back to earth with a bang; when I look at the
emotional demands of stardom its clear why I can’t even
construct a heroine winning fame, my protagonists hate
popularity games such I can’t even mention any beauty
pageants, I have no control over the Charlotte Brontë &
Jane Austen bunch in my head –

Elizabeth Bennet remains my ideal, every heroine wants
that role; it is so fatiguing finding Mr Darcy’s for them…

[11 July 2014]

Feel The Joy [REV.]

The noise of the music created confusion and I
swept my earphones away to sit in quiet peace
with my pain - a result of eating fudge-picasso
pudding (which had me sitting up for half of the
night) - now I’m in nowhere-land, right within

The black hole in my head where everything is
dead, even letters jumping under my fingers to
appear on screen seem slain & the moment’s
becoming a hole in the fabric of time, I am so
helpless for now - but do not despair, I know

It’s temporary - not long-lasting such as it was
when a child; the pain crunching my back and
affecting my neck won’t hold sway and I’ll not
indulge again, not for a very long time as it is
so much better to be able to feel joy in the

Mere act of breathing, of being in existence…

[11 July 2014]

Singing

A Chastened Me [1st REVISION]

It’s not for keeping yet, the alternative consciousness
I’ve lost, it was on loan to see how grand life can be
when we are free to be happy, a promise of things to
come; in its wonderful mood I was flying and dancing
in circles with delight in my heart, and with great

Self-control carried out mundane tasks having no
purpose other than requiring we learn how to bring
joy to life’s routine, not just exceptional moments -
I switched back from overdrive to everyday cruising
mode and looked up words - when the feeling

Of loss grew too strong - it was so wonderful to have
fun - the contrast with everyday grey was too much; I
ran from the office, looked for a new place to rest my
thoughts, slid into a novel then returned to the same
space I had left just to find a mess I made when my

Rose-coloured thoughts carried me high; it’s a much
chastened me, back in a reality I don’t understand


**************************************************

2. [ORIGINAL:]

I lost it – the alternative consciousness, it’s not for
keeping yet, it’s just on loan to see how grand life
can be when we are free to be happy, a promise of
things to come; in that wonderful mood I was flying
while dancing in circles with delight in my heart

Then with great self-control carried out the mundane
tasks which have no purpose other than learning how
to bring joy to everything in life, not just to exceptional
moments - I switched back from overdrive to everyday
cruising mode and looked up words – when a feeling

Of loss grew too strong – it was so wonderful to have
fun - the contrast with everyday grey was too much; I
ran from the office, looking for a new place to rest my
thoughts, dived into a novel then returned to the same
space where I left just to find I made a mess while my

Rose-coloured thoughts carried me high, this is a very
much chastened me, back in a reality I can’t understand

[9 July 2014]


****************************************************

3. [ALTERNATIVE FORM:]

I lost it
the alternative consciousness,

it’s not for keeping yet,
just on loan to see how grand life can be
when we are free to be happy,
a promise of things to come;

in that wonderful mood I was flying
while dancing in circles
with delight in my heart

then with great self-control
carried out mundane tasks which have
no purpose other than learning how
to bring joy to everything in life,
not just to exceptional moments -

I switched back from overdrive to
everyday cruising mode and looked up words -
when a feeling of loss grew too strong
it was so wonderful to have fun -

the contrast with everyday grey was too much;
I ran from the office,
looking for a new place to rest my thoughts,
dived into a novel

then returned to the same
space I had left
just to find I made a mess
while my

Rose-coloured thoughts carried me high,
this is a very much chastened me,
back in a reality I can’t understand

A Melodious Carousel [REV.]

I only wanted a bag camouflaged in black to stash
the illegal trash I drag to work: water, a book, extra
shoes, my fan, a DVD - but it was way too small an
amount for a credit card transaction so I had to buy
chocolate, spoons and vampire nail polish

Dark like old printer’s ink; already into a mint crisp
while looking at my translation - heart sinking, it is
an import permit with every term to be researched,
mint is changing my mouth into a sticky cave and
no sucking effort can lift mint of teeth

Such is life - resigned to boredom of official texts,
bureaucracy at its modern best as Terry Pratchett
said, true modern hell lacking stimulation - yet the
background music is heavenly, Mozart making the
stars sing, then Dames Kiri Te Kanawa
 
And Joan Sutherland mesmerise with satin voices,
each note a musical masterpiece, a vibrating pearl
of infinite delight bound to the next celestial note by
the sweet, clear sound recreating Indra’s net where
every note reflects every other in a 

Melodious carousel of notes holistically attached to
form a perfect illusion of lighted sound spiralling in
an eternal roundabout in which the song becomes
a horizontal explosion of vertical chords creating a
melody moving on inexorably, unstoppable  

The total explains everything about quantum physics
and holograms I ever struggled to understand – and
still the melody sings…

[8 July 2014]

The Real People Outside [REV.]

Vindicated after my beloved explained his attempt

to improve our standard of living failed to bring it

on par with those of his colleagues - beautiful people

who never go to Pretoria Station as it is below their

status, never make bus trips to the Cape - they fly,

never waste time reading but gym every day

Exquisite, long-finger-nailed women, well-cared

for houses with expensive possessions, good-taste

clothes resembling the Queen of England’s yellow

hat and crimplene look-alike coat - while I, he was

sorry to say, went to work like a tramp carrying a

big, unwieldy bag, wearing an unflattering, bright

Floral sack - the house a mess, study a den of iniquity,

kids’ rooms sources of evil; sulphur and brimstone are

too good for us - we drag him down to the level of a

hobo in sackcloth and ashes and IT IS ALL MY fault,

a low crocodile failing to instil discipline because

I live in eternal chaos and confusion

I change his life into a low-key living hell; I read

books and have theories but can’t atone for being

BAD housekeeper, terrible cook with bad taste in

clothes, wearing no make-up, lacking finesse, style

and sophistication - oh, did he forget to mention

his lovely colleague’s glamorous daughter who

Won several beauty contests, and another colleague’s

son - Victor Ludorum for academic & sport prowess

while our kids live in squalor; and June, back from

visiting friends, recounts the same experience as

yours truly, the Ice Princess, living the same kind

of non-life, reading books - taken to task for

Her dishevelled hair, boring earrings and daft dress,

listens to my experience, and with a mischievous

smile, agrees we live in a different world from the

REAL people outside…

[8 July 2014]