Dancing Digits (Cor.)

Trying to calculate how much I owe on my
credit card, baffled by figures and dancing
digits, can’t determine how much I spent &
how much will be available next month, if
sums are correct it means a credit deficit
which will increase by an X amount

But now my scared mind refuses to say what
deficit means, it's shortfall I think - how much
did I overspend this month versus the previous
one and the one before - when there still was a
deficit of an XX amount; this is killer stuff - I’ll
take refuge in some strong tea so bitter -

It’ll require 3 spoons of sugar to make it potable -
if potable is the right word to use - I’m losing all
ability to concentrate therefore confusion reigns,
the tea tastes of silkworms & mulberry leaves -
I’m scared stiff by the calculations which can’t
explain how much I’ll have next month to pay

All my creditors, first the terrible dentist – with
money borrowed from the bank – this has to
stop, as of today I refuse to use bank credit -
though as the money goes into this account
I can’t access it otherwise; the destruction’s
complete and all accounting is stopped

It simply destroys the remaining brain cells
without accomplishing or solving anything…
and no it isn't potable, I was looking for
palatable - hot chocolate will follow as
life isn't palatable at all...