Learned A Lot [REV.]

It’s now clear my old lifestyle was driven
by the need to flee from dejection: trying
old survival techniques: intense focus on
fairy-tales to change how I feel, revealed
no need to live that way again; with eyes
unfocused after eating illegal pie &  soup,
with muscle fatigue and lassitude to boot,
there’s no need to return to old habits -

Emotional storms abated and I’m wiser;
Lobsang Rampa says we come here to
learn through physical ailments - allergy
taught me never hurt people deliberately,
everyone’s worthy of respect; also never
tell lies, it feels terrible & painful effects
stay in my mind forever; never make pie-
crust promises I can’t keep - trying my

Best I make a huge mess; never charge
into a strange situation like a whirlwind
as the fragile aspects - of such delicate
compositions are easily broken & such
shards cut deep until everyone bleeds,
never pretend I’m superior as wearing
a mask is just hell; and though I know
wheat & sugar’s effect changes me  -

Sugar’s instant energy helps to me to
overcome the weariness of adrenaline
shock in order to get up & run away