Mind Power Only [Rev]

I had such great expectations of old age - being
at ease in my skin - but no, it has not happened
yet - just spent today as confused within the loss
of chronology as I was in my youth, just not able
to do anything as time did not progress in a line,
every horizontal movement became intertwined

With loops going up and down - my mind jumped
around so that life was a burden to be suffered &
countered with the medicine which did not work -
were I older, it would have been called dementia
but since this comes from my childhood, it’s just
my brain’s short-circuiting electrical wiring -

Reliving the loneliness of childhood yet again
destroys my mental peace; it is so unfair after a
period of relative ease - if only some ideal would
become so strong it overcame mental distress -
but I’ve no dream or vision to lift me over this spell;
today I wore black as one of the nightshades in a

Fairytale, unable to play a positive role I took a dark
part - tomorrow I’ll return to the dungeon to seek a
map navigating a colleague’s ice-cold, closed mind
opposing every sunny idea, poetic image, dream of
freedom, who changes my life to a new form of
imprisonment, combated with mind power only