Nothing More

This day has splintered into a thousand pieces,
I constructed another bubble to hide my mind
from the fall-out and continue working, but then
the bubble was burst for me and I’m constrained
to construct yet another one, even more fragile
than anything that came before, to enable me to
stay upright and continue until it’s time to go home

Constructing bubbles is the only way I know that
makes it possible to continue when my world
keeps breaking like the most delicate porcelain
and I wonder if plastic would be a better option,
precious materials like glass and porcelain break
into shards and my heart is pierced every time it
happens, please stop trying to improve me –

I’ve had a lifetime of trying to improve myself & the
result is totally disheartening, there is only one way
correction can come, that is death and starting over
with a new mind and a new brain mechanism, a new
reptilian core unmarked by these failures that have
continued to plague me from earliest youth, please
just accept that I am trying my best - though

The result is never good enough, it’s all I have to
give - there is nothing more in my arsenal…