In The Silence [Rev]

Blue Tango plays in my ears as I close the door
to its outside world - concentrating on my work,
to find myself leaning forwards like Mr Bean and
moving to the music as he does - knees always
touching and feet apart - being Mr Bean carries
me through a translation without my noticing, &
then Maria Callas sings Bach’s Ave Maria and
I become Salieri gasping upon discovering new
music- with an unfulfillable longing in the notes
reflected in his face; I lip-synch silently and the

Longing for positive expectation nearly becomes
overwhelming, my face contorted in passion, yet
no-one notices anything; in the open-plan office
we’re isolated with other people present only as
warmth - after my grandiose dreams I am but a
demon serving in a demon king’s bureaucracy &
part of the universe’s 99% invisible black energy,
a grey hooded Auditor without a face, recording
people’s great deeds & as I compare Nureyev’s
biography with my life, which seems bereft of

Feelings except LOVE - love for my family, and
fellow authors who are never read as we entrust
our secrets to a Poetic Internet Pensieve - where
they will remain eternally; now I’m looking for a
reflection of my feelings in music, JS Bach & The
Skater’s Waltz & Mozart, but sadness unleashed
by reading of Rudolf’s Nureyev’s death - and his
creative passion lost from this world - still keeps
me cold in its clutches - with throat constricted I
face my quiet duties and life regulated in the

Silence of the Crocodile Castle…