bathing in warmth of my African colleagues, joy &
laughter destroying Western inhibitions; therefore
on receiving news of our friend’s sudden demise, I
stormed in like a Thunder Queen ready to steal the
show in the family’s volcano of shock and despair -
They desired to be alone and grieve in silence, yet
the house resounded to my wailing as I touched my
friend’s still warm body in the house; and this quiet
Afrikaner family, of whom Lieb was the only sizzling
noisy one, was shocked by my patent disregard for
their wishes & disrespect for a bereaved, maternal
Figure who was striving for quiet tears of despair in
isolation - while I tornado’ed through their pain and
intense grief-struck focus on pain; - and when they
let me know to not return again, I reacted like a real
goddess, angry at being rejected when I just meant
well and wanted to help and it took me four days to
Calm down enough to realise that a whirlwind with
good intentions is a most undesirable event when
black despair descends on a family and they have
a right to privacy; ashamed I hung my head, what
a terrible friend - I’m the worst kind of friend there
is - projecting my feelings onto others - trying to
Force them to contend with what I want for them -
true friendship is quiet consideration for the needs
of others - dear Barbara, I confess: I’m sorry I was
so overbearing in deciding what would be good for
you, trying to take over your life, I won’t do it again…
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Thursday 18 October 2017
Lieb died on Monday 15 May 2017 – his animated voice
and boisterous laughter, his description of himself as a
mirage, his amazing sense of humour and the twinkle in
his mischievous, Puckish eyes; will be sorely missed…
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