Lonely Beginning [REVISED]

I can’t prove anything to anybody - what
can I convey that will make a difference?
The rich grow richer - thus I want my kids
to grow rich; the poor grow poorer - and I
cannot condone such senseless increase
in needy people. What movie do I want to
see, when can we go down to the ocean?

And how can I explain that a pure, robot
voice sings perfectly, every note in place
but it can’t move me - yet another voice,
younger, vibrating beautifully, drives me
to tears? How to lock on to good things
when gloom envelopes my beloved who
has to retire in prime of life? I beg him

to build himself a work space - enjoy his
hobbies of woodwork & ironmongery at
home, but he waits for financial security
before moving forwards, ere committing
to anything - my heart is melting in me;
how do I keep breathing, what to do in
this misery of wasted opportunities, of

waiting for reincarnation in a dimension
completely new and unheard of to learn
what companionship, warmth and joy is
really like? My heart is cold, my mind is
empty. It is impossible to visualise Hope,
Faith and Belief because I’ve lost all of
it - & how can I infuse my existence with

positive expectation as well as relax into
peace and beauty of a life of ease? So -
please, please, rekindle the flame of life
smouldering within my heart, let me revisit
wonder of existence v nothingness - or am
I to believe that again this is the legacy of
a lonely beginning to life?

[Wednesday 24 January 2018]