No Beginning [Revised]

Everything must have a beginning - I’m so sure of it,
its causality’s first rule: the Genesis leading to a first
step. But I can’t find today’s beginning or the project
on my desk - their starting points are clearly missing

I’m typing but it’s a mess because I’m unconnected,
and unhinged; it’s standalone, meaningless activity
because I can’t find any logical precedence, & thus
I remain bereft, cut-off from everyone & everything

Although I try to read & type it feels as if nothing is
happening & it doesn’t matter what I do, there’s no
feeling, reality is gone in this mirage - this chimera,
I’m unable to register anything beyond this terrible

Pressure in my head: there is no prelude - just this
emptiness: my husband spoke, colleagues related
anecdotes, I remember seeing dogs being naughty
and planes with pirate parts falling from the sky. It

rained when I woke - I recall a report with numbers
listed obtained by surveillance - I wonder where all
meaning went as I can’t recall a single, meaningful
item - it is all drained, reality is filtered away - only

Calm, quiet and silence reigns, jumping in before
establishing a starting point must have led to this…

[Tuesday 23 April 2019]