Words Singing In POETRY & Infinite Possibilities

[Diary Notes]

Finally realised I’m a rule breaker, never knew  since I was so

busy studying rules - observing my twin sis being a rebel and

problems she incurred, I took my own rebellion underground

& beset with a burning desire to excel at languages because

words sing in forming their sounds and dancing to rhythms, I

overreacted studying 24/7 fighting my own need for freedom

 

This convinced my twin not to do anything against her natural

inclination to be rebellious, influencing each other negatively:

when I felt a flame of insubordination burning inside myself, I

studied the Bible to learn how to die to my own nature, at age

ten knew I was going to hell as The Ten Commandments were

beyond my ability since I hated people for being unrefined -

 

Not knowing refined people often used refinement and charm to

hide exploitation of the disadvantaged; I worked like a demon to

study beauty in languages and master philosophies which should

explain the world to me; but upon realising that my happiness was

receding when only focusing on philosophy of ethics in mainstream

science, I succumbed, had a mental breakdown - it seemed I had

 

Been chasing chimeras all my life & my inner rebellion against the

well-ordered, rational life I had chosen was forcing me to resign -

losing the fight against my own rule-breaking nature, so I returned

to languages to get back to beauty through government translation

BUT this was all about RULES, complete negation of music, after

subjugating my spirit in serving for 33 years I’m lost and confused

 

Today finding joy in beautiful music and words singing in POETRY 

......................................................................................

Free And Infinite Possibilities

I used to think that those keeping rules were wrong, that

only authors rejecting mainstream thought could be right,

that only the underdog should enjoy my support - always

questioned every claim firmly convinced that the media is

all about propaganda, after reading alternative viewpoints

it was clear they too were making propaganda against the

 

Mainstream media, nothing but our own experience can be

trusted and as mine is limited, I read descriptions of others'

experience and decide on whether they are spreading truth

or lies in terms of the purpose they have in writing things

down - it is interesting and though I might often be wrong,

this opens the horizon to infinitude releasing me from the

 

Stultifying boredom of mainstream science and their High

Priests who try to sacrifice and crucify everyone who dares

to differ from them, luckily Terry Pratchett and other authors

take us out of their clutches into possibilities infinite & free,

while Many Worlds Theory in quantum physics opens a 

space where every fantasy and dream can be realised