It Hurts When You Turn Away Suddenly

Ignoring me as if past friendship had
never been, I take the blow to the face
with swollen eyes black and blue and
nosebleed, withdrawing so no-one will
see, then reappear

With a smile as bright as the sun and
play the fool, blabber and bluster and
drool, laughing myself into tears, burying
the impact deep inside, as well as the
uncertainty, why the sudden
painful rejection

Why throwing me off without explanation?
The only reason I can find is that the so-called
friendship was all in my imagination, there
was nothing to begin with, although this
thought hurts more than the others,
but as long as I smile

it doesn’t matter, only the painful thought
throbbing quietly, is a reminder of a
false impression of friendship – and
that is not your fault, the mistake
is entirely mine