I Should Learn Self-Discipline

Time to go to bed, no more fiddling the time away,
no more hiding from sleep, though I cannot see sleep
finding me tonight, I’m ready to return to colleagues
and have some fun, but reading glasses I have none,
to be collected next week, I shall still have to suffer and
weep for struggling with small writing, esoteric books
say we create a safe universe by thinking of security,
I wish I were secure about my own fallibility, I wish I
could predict how my mood swings will go and fasten
myself with a chain to a positive state of mind, a place
cast in stone, yet I know that by ten o’clock a blood
sugar low will demand I eat, afterwards a migraine
will follow, a delicate balance to be struck between
eating too little and having too much, starting with
adrenaline in seeing friends, then sagging spirits as
officialdom requires routine acts that irk so much
and I don’t even know why it should be so, John
Maxwell would have fired me without a scruple,
I should learn self-discipline, what a stentorian
leader he is, with him in charge, I would have
fired myself, I suffer from what my friend calls
an artistic temperament, hubby calls it self-
centered egotism, I must learn to do my duty,
I suspect only death will bring release…