Radio Ga-Ga - Positive Mental Station

After following the suggestions in my positive book
I reach a state of happy anticipation, life is good right
here right now – until I eat allergy food, falling back
into the black part of my mind where life is the enemy,
yet staying on the straight and narrow is so boring, I
prefer the misery to grey neutrality, only wish I could
remain at a positive mental station when the allergy
kicks in, but no, the antenna in my head tunes to radio
ga-ga, blackest night and terrifying feelings of terrorizing
anxiety, my mind deconstructs and only feverish heat
smothered in cotton-balls remain in my head, I can’t
feel the positive things I’ve been thinking and no thought
rings true, except dark suspicions and strange flames
of self-hatred illuminating the seven dark nights of the
soul, time for drastic measures, rubbing Vicks all over
my neck and back, spoiling the sheets and ruining my
middle-class camouflage hair…