Purple Silkiness, Silver Glitter

*
Ah, bravado is all-right for hiding feelings
but heartburn cannot be wished away so
easily, without access to the Internet all
my attempts at guessing meanings are
just hit-and-run accidents, a dark spectre
of work returned criss-crossed by changes,
lines deleted and misconceptions, to add
to my woes

My first thought is, what to eat to replace
the sadness in my soul with more physical
discomfort; since suffering is good for us –
if a Tibetan lama becomes a holy saint by
suffering meditation in one position for hours
surely allergic reactions have the same up-
lifting effect on me, eating is the shortest
route to ennobling suffering for me

Last night I looked at the fairy wings next to
my bed, the soft purple silkiness and silver
glitter - and realised its resemblance to an
aura is the reason why fairies are so impor-
tant to me, I have only one fairy at work, she
is purple with silver also, a gift from Hanlie
I wish I could ask Lobsang Rampa whether
my aura contains purple colours

Flecked with shiny silver glitter, since this
attracts me so much - even my colleagues
see these colours for me; maybe the wooden
dolls in yellow and blue also convey messages
about my auric colours, I don’t care for physical
appearance, I prefer a beautiful, life-giving, love-
sustaining, golden aura and melodious voice
to resembling a pretty siren

Hiding a heart full of spite and green jealousy
though whenever someone is nasty to a weaker
person, I turn into a vixen, it must mean I have
not yet mastered the mindset of a St Francis of
Assisi who never harboured a negative thought
and tamed wild animals that way, I think meeting
truly nasty people would make my aura turn
smoky blue and red

I would look like I were on fire, just as well I do
not know any like those…

[Though if I really could choose, I would like to
resemble the unblemished crystals shining in
rainbows of colours from a myriad aspects and
facets while at the same time being a sweet
melody like Boccherini's Minuet or
Mozart’s Sonate in C…]
*