Wildly Gyrating Mind

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This isn’t fair – after translating all day; after
searching for resounding imagery to see what
resonates and only coming up with see-through
beads, not able to visualise colours for my auric
dreams - no soft golden light

I cannot compose my mind, jumping from book to
book like a restless bird in its flight, from Asterix to
the Mahabharata, from speed-reading ‘The Spiritual
Notebook’ to ‘Johnny and the Dead’ – I have reached
the end, nothing is working

In the end I wonder again about my fairy notebook, how
the pink paper with fairy illustrations is working so well, the
main colour is a soft pink, while the pretty intense dark-blue
notebook does not fire my imagination at all, I suppose small
figures work better than butterflies

Still, why can’t I concentrate, why does nothing seem to calm
my wildly gyrating mind, why can’t I settle on one arresting image?
Paul Twitchell takes delight in dismantling all religion and spiritual
imagery – but does not offer me something I can lock on to –
why is it so painful to read his words

- denouncing everything I hold dear? I agree with him that control
of the inner self are required for happiness and peace, but to re-
duce everything to total subjugation to a Living Master is too
much, apparently only Soul Travel means anything to him -
while I think life in physical

Has so many lessons to teach – so much more than visiting astral
and spiritual realms – we shall be going there anyhow, why
not enjoy life in physical instead of leaving the world
all the time - travelling to non-physical realms?
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