Another Slow Death

Objects and things I can dream about
intrigue me, but political speeches close
my brain down, as I force my eyes to the
page of my translation document analysing
political history, the synapses stop flashing
and my brain cells stop working

Ere long I feel ill and have to take a walk
to wake up again, over and over I try to read
these boring lines, look at positive affirmations
but they only work if we really want to accomplish
something; I do not really want to repeat political
inanities so trying to indoctrinate myself

Is not working, I have eaten mountains of healthy
foods to make me strong to tackle my enemy, I have
taken medicines till they spill out through my ears, but
still I cannot carry out my task, I am a moral failure, my
conscience cannot guide me to carry out a job I am paid
for, I am willing to die the death of the ignominious

For my inability, I cannot force another morsel of food down my
throat, cannot read another positive affirmation; politics is my
nemesis, I cannot distance myself from the duplicity and self-
serving diplomacy; all the fairies have deserted me as they
cannot stand the inner turmoil as I try to kill myself in
an attempt to do what I hate and abhor

Another slow death is all that is left for my future…