unopened package, hope and great expectation so much - to open the
beautiful paper and pour out the stars and crystals would mean nearing
a finished product which always falls short - because I am not skilled in
creating and decorating pictures, I love looking at my treasures and
dreaming of doing something with them; the promise stays ever
fresh, should the right idea appear, I will be inspired to start
I am trying to visualise myself taking the difficult text off the shelf and
starting a list of terms and failing spectacularly: where is the vision of
me working on it, I must convince myself I’ve got what it takes to do
painstaking work – but I only see myself struggling, getting confused
as I always do; feeling guilty while doing anything to get away from it,
earlier today deep-sea diving in the pool, then bicycle-riding fleeing
my tender conscience regarding this document
Scared of making a mess, trying to visualise successful completion; but
the images in my head are terrible, my only hope is Armageddon since
the Mayan date of destruction expired; only a cataclysm can save me
from dealing with motivation to fund a million committees to write a
trillion reports while supervising grass-roots communities hindered by
frequent stops to report every step of endless prescriptions; officials
monitoring their every move will inhibit innovation
Too many expensive overseers controlling the few who do the hard
work means regulations taking the place of common sense, already
the documents produced ate up half the budget - the monitoring
process will gobble up the rest…
29 March 2013
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