Spirit Will Be Free To Dream

Feeling so alienated, so deeply disappointed in myself, so
guilty for failing to complete my pre-set task, no matter
how hard I try, I cannot produce the kind of translations
which require bone-dry facts and statistics and numbers

Even made a mess of the production sheets in my zeal to
try and feel better about myself, doubly shamed and deeply
chagrined, worst is, I cannot use fantasy for a short-term
escape to gather my powers

Before continuing on my self-inflicted route, I should never
have started climbing this mountain, I was meant to float in
water, not break my legs and nearly bleeding to death in a
an attempt to scale translation mountain
 
Where there is no sustenance for feelings and no emotions
and I cannot breathe in the thin air of these high altitudes
and right now I’m backsliding again – literally, falling back
to a lower place on the mountain
 
My ability to suffer without hope is leaving me, only solace is
my physical frame is giving way, at the rate I’m losing what
health I had, I shall soon be without a body to live in and
THEN my spirit will be free to dream…