This Reality (REVISED)

You spoiled my nice surprise – the moment is gone, the
void needs to be filled with great joy, apologies cannot
replace a magical moment dashed to pieces; ‘tho you
don’t deserve my good thoughts, all things considered,
I’ll preserve my noble sentiments about you

I must find advantage to be derived from this event; you
keep my feet anchored, remind me human relationships
also contain disappointment and it will be so ‘til the end
of time; if not you, would it have been someone else to
have kicked me so readily?

Not the kind saleslady who helped without making me
wait in a queue, nor my supervisor who should hate
my miserable attempts at translation, no, it had to be
you – thank you for this lesson to never forget love
is conditional – we can give our love unconditionally

In principle only but not in practice of this reality…

30 April 2013

Iewers Is Daar 'n Groot Misverstand

Ek is gek daaroor om in die see swem, speel ek's 'n meermin

maar nou is ek 'n groot een, 'n tannie meermin, dan weer

die meermin hoog op die boeg van 'n skip - nou egter dalk

die walvis op die boeg van die skip - my guru se mens moet

net jouself as maer sien, dan sal jy eet asof jy maer is en dan

sal jy gewig verloor - nou kyk ek in die spieël en sien net my

gesig en speel die res van my is maer en dan voel ek vreeslik

honger omdat ek so maer is dan eet ek meer en iewers is

daar 'n groot misverstand tussen my en my guru....

30 April 2013

But Let Me Return (REVISED)

My discoveries: salted pumpkin seeds do
nothing for my digestive system; sticky,
warm & sweet toffee pudding makes me
happy; jungle oats keep my stomach full,
a chocolate bar to round it off – & for

Living in delight, powdered full-cream
milk, tea too hum-drum. Fighting office
heat with my coolest top – upending a
cool 2 litre water bottle over me, don’t
care for appearances, only surviving

The inevitable – but mostly I should
not have discovered a chocolate bar
hidden in my drawer, yet the thought
chocolate could disappear forever from
my diet makes me eat more and more

In fear arthritis will ruin taste in this
wonderfully sweet marvel – but let me
return to our continent’s airport reform
I am now an airport person – runways
and aerodromes the most important

Words in my vocabulary…

30 April 2013

The Way To Our Own Divinity

After a day in the office overheated by the autumn sun,
unbearably warm thus I find it impossible to concentrate,
feeling subdued by circumstances beyond my control - I
wanted to languish in front of the TV, when I switched
on, James Bond was winning against overwhelming odds

The well-known energising fairytale giving me courage
to face the odds in the office tomorrow, if he can ski
away from an innumerable horde trying to kill him in
an enchanted Bond-centred universe, I can face the heat
and boring documents even if I get hurt in the process

Any story reinforcing individual power is inspiring,
a celebration of individuality requiring belief only to
obtain victory, since so many of my own dreams have
come true this reminder of the miraculous nature of an
egocentric, benevolent universe in which we play
 
The role of our own protagonist centrally placed in this
little world, is empowering, I use these stories to keep
me chasing my dream of formulating the best ideals
then chasing them against all the odds - thank you
James Bond and Ian Fleming for creating

A modern pantheon of valiant gods to show us the
way to our own divinity!

29 April 2013

This Book Which I Hate (REVISED)

I’m reading a book which I hate,

each time I start I get a headache

but I cannot escape; this is what

marriage is isn’t it – doing things

you’d never do on your own, like

Having kids – had mine discovering

I was lonely; hubby wants me read

it, insists, so rather than incur his

wrath I dutifully comply, read lines

I detest so condescendingly

Written by a supposedly superior

woman For Women – I hope she

disappears from Earth’s face, that

fiery red devils dance, changing

her dreams into nightmares and

That her dog chews on her toes

especially, that her words never

come back to haunt me – may this

book disappear just like the Marie

Celeste on the Sargasso Sea…

28 April 2013

A True Story Of Being Me - by Ronel O’Reilly

“I live my life in a host of stories

connected to other people's

stories in various ways

I understand and identify things

by placing them in the stories

I tell about them and then

find myself caught in a web

A web so perplexed I am

unable to tell the difference

between reality, or not - 

fragments of the imagination?

or fragments of real life drama?

After careful consideration,

no sleep, tossing and turning

my reality includes everything

that is and has been -

a true story of being me”

Ronel O’Reilly  

[Peanuts says:]

I love the way you describe the process of coming to understand

that life is the true story of yourself. Thank you for your courtesy

in allowing me to quote your poem here.

Writing Time Travel Into Any Situation

Sunday night - the weekend targetted on getting ready for Monday
the early morning routine so as to glide into the seat and take the
reins first thing - tonight Tiaan and I watched Men in Black III

It was clear that poor Ecclesiastes had only part of the truth when
he complained everything always stays the same - he definitely did
not know of all the alternatives to this universe; all the possibilities

Offered by writing time travel into any situation, everything keeps
proliferating and the human imagination grows so fast as illustrated
by our science; I do not fear tomorrow any more knowing life is -

One big promise that we fill with our living...

28 April 2013

She Speaks The Words

I used to play my song all alone,
dreaming of becoming a melody:
most people brought out the
piccolo or pizzicato in me, but
I dreamed of being a chord in
b-minor, then a long ago friend
wearing jeans on Muizenberg
beach, wading in, getting wet
 
Driving around Chapman’s Peak,
appeared on the Internet, and
suddenly I saw my themes in
her writing, patterns I’m trying
to trace already explained in
her words - what a surprise
to discover she speaks the
words I’m trying to think
 
It is a privilege to meet again
and know – she understands…

[For my friend Ronel O’Reilly]
27 April 2013

Exploding In Temper Tantrums (REVISED)

Mom’s farm visit exploded in pain and temper tantrums,
sis says Mom’s jealous of her friendship with domestics;
mom justifies saying without a walker her leg is sore,
not mentioning the real trouble – she really resents
being left all alone while sis sets off for the horizon

Their versions diametrically oppose, sis angry as mom
complains emotional upset worsens her leg pain; sis says
she feels mom’s jealousy yet probably projects her own
guilt on being so selfish – by dragging mom out there
to ignore her yet again

Neither honest about the problem - mom with her head
in the sand, sis playing a blame game, refusing to take
any responsibility - thus nothing can change; I shall
remember the lesson, all I do wrong in sister’s eyes would
be magnified should I accept her hard-pressed invitation

She’s a jovial companion on the way there - then her energy
evaporates as fatigue sets in, after showing me everything,
irritation makes her resent my presence; while mom feels
it’s her duty to visit, I am free to decline, I don’t want to
become an unwelcome guest

Revealing my worst side as disappointment changes
me into a raving hypochondriac– just like mom,
as a matter of fact

26 April 2013

The Awakening They Propagate

I especially like spiritual advice when
it tells me to love; when my colleagues
convene at ten for tea in communion, I
surf the Internet looking for a message
to improve my mind-set

Anne Du Quesne again today with the
message so general: whatever you feel
at this moment in time indicates you are
awakening (sorry, I am not – but not for
want of trying I assure you)

Everything conspires to aid you (the
world is overpopulated so yes, human
life is blessed) enjoy your evolution –
invoking the planets in position doing
good things to our minds

I’m glad the astrologists wish to guide
us in positive directions, I’m glad their
advice centres on lucidity, yet in terms
of information, I gleaned nothing at all
except they wish for transformation

From what-is to some kind of Utopia; well,
I already live in one by keeping my eye on
things I find attractive – unfortunately  in
a country with per annum murder rate
higher than in war areas,

More people here have died violently than
in the Gulf War, this is quite bizarre, it so
out of synchronicity it does not look as if
the people here are participating in the
awakening astrologists propagate

25 April 2013

The Useless Years (rev)

 

Supposedly our Friday lunch ritual was to be
seen eating somewhere on Lambton Quay,
we always discussed the ultimate military
sandwich between pints of Guinness, or
whatever took our fancy.

Then meandered our way through the City,
aiming to be at the Annexe by 4:30 pm, for
Home Command happy hour. They were lazy
days, crazy days, matched with mad memories
which made the City bearable.

Hazy days and easy ways to spend the useless
years ranging lower rungs of the rankings. And
in the thankless potpourri of an overmanned
and under-achieved Army we were free
to come and go as we pleased.

You’ve paid your dues I was told, there is
nothing for you to prove, take a break – relax,
go for a jog if you’ve surplus energy. Leave
the mundane business of running the place to
the Brigadier and old staffers like me.

You’ll be posted to a line unit again soon, then
you can be as Regimental as anyone can and
grin and bear it. Meantime get out of here.
You look too goddamned Gung Ho in that
scarcely worn-in Lieutenants uniform.
© I.D. Carswell 2007

Apologies to Benny Hill

An Ennobling Feeling (Revised)

If we do ‘whatever’ in a positive frame of mind it
becomes enjoyable – I understand that routine,
doing literally anything can be joy in itself but
I don’t want it to be the purpose of my life

I want a goal so high, so worthy it will be a joy in
itself to sacrifice time and energy for the chase –
but if we fail to find one of this majesty, then
disappointment can make us cynical

We do not have to achieve a higher ideal for it to
ennoble & influence our lives; wisdom is required
to formulate such an imposing idyll – usually we
subscribe to dreams created or vested in

Religions, philosophies, creeds, maxims and even
commercial slogans – and then the real challenge
is to create our own and follow it with the joy of
knowing that it is of and by our own choice

If we’re wise and know how much to sacrifice and
not cause harm to anyone or anything – we shall
be deemed privileged – it gives zest to life, spices
our activities, becomes a guide that never tires

Regardless of our material state; how I envy Don
Quixote, inspired poets, composers, inspiration
they felt, an ennobling feeling seems to me far
more worthy than fickle fortune or popularity

23 April 2013