Unfathomable Things (REVISED)

Pros and cons inevitably mean loss of freedom; we
win by offering friendship with loyalty for the price
of autonomy, and that means losing loneliness –
which is a double whammy. First you’re furious at me
allowing sis to buy medication for Nici – expressing

Outrage in gesture and angry voice; I feel guilty for
offending your sense of propriety (note: but not for
committing a sin because I did not harm anyone):
you get annoyed when I note your hostility, say
how dare I misconstrue your altruistic motives

I offer apologies for the offences, not sure what sin
I have committed in your eyes, stare into the night
conceding your version of events – of committing
some kind of treason by daring to feel hurt by your
self-righteous rejection of sis mothering our child

A new synergy of solidarity between sister and me
threatens you, no term too strenuous to state this;
leg aching I get out of bed, try to make sense of the
offence – then you say the leg problem is agreed,
now we’ll bear this cross with joyous aplomb

… I’m still pondering these unfathomable things...