A striking and beautifully strong autumn sun shining
straight
into the office creates a stifling atmosphere
making me
feverish, the text to be translated is utter
confusion
with words repeated even worse than any
previous
text, no wonder tonight I feel ill
When my
beloved invites me out to a meal I decline,
refusing
his treat is an alien concept, I always accept –
tonight I
wasn’t strong enough to eat anything, such
behaviour
makes me feel self-alienated, fatigued to
exhaustion
yet not tired enough to lie down
Bliss is
only found if we become happy in ourselves,
as yet
there is no such thing in my heart, the world is
the same
– only I am not; and my daughter is here
enjoying her
project asking me to spell foreign
words,
her presence a comfort indeed – if only
Stomach
and head would stop hurting…
22 April 2013
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