Doodling Without Purpose [REV.]

I’m so despondent because wherever I go, there
I am with a mind that doesn’t retain positive, life-
embracing - loving thoughts I’ve always fed my
crocodile brain; the mammalian cortex has been
switched off by too much care-free celebration

Indulging in birthday fare and now confusion and
alienation reign as I can’t discipline my mind, even
good news disappears into the stellar black hole in
my heart where my emotions used to be and since
I feel depressed I attract more of the same, though

My rational faculty claims everything is fine and the
only mess is in my head it doesn’t calm me down -
I still feel sorry for myself in being forced to pay with
allergy symptoms of my recent profligacy - without
feelings my perspective is limited to black and grey

I’m bored with everything as nothing registers on my
mental keyboard controlling my emotions - and it’s
intolerable to be isolated in this moment only - even
the characters in my head are just as affected as I
am, all listless and doodling without purpose…