In Existence [REV]

As temptation didn’t come eagerly to me I went out
looking for it, found oat biscuits and thus caused my
falling headlong into existential emptiness - with the
allergy dragging me disingenuously down; I’ve

Constructed a glittery pink cocoon in the study, a fine
transparent fabric of ice-pink flowers, fake snowflakes
and white lace yet after a good look around the world
loses its charm and the fall continues; but, whereas

Alice’s rabbit hole journey discovered interesting things,
bottles & directives to eat & drink, my fall is punctuated
only by musical notes, my salvation now lies in Velikovsky
explaining the birth of planet Venus starting as a bearded

Comet - and I like this kind of misery - feeling an alienated
isolation is comforting, enabling me to do more reading -
moreover, this negative feeling always leads to neutrality
instead of the effervescence from bubbly joy

Feeling so alone makes it possible to accomplish more
though I do prefer passion, even inexplicable anger, to
this grey emptiness, where ‘runcibles’ of words are the
only things in existence…

Visualise The Wisdom (c)

Reading Velikovsky I’m numb in wonderment - all the
myths, legends & traditional tales from all sides of the
earth confirm the poles changed several times and the
sun sometimes disappears for days or years; after a few
pages I stop amazed as so many historical documents
are explained such as Moses’ wisdom to interpret the
sound heard within the 7 notes wherewith the whirlwind
howled rising within 10 discernable lines, as moral and
ethical laws - a sound heard all over the world, but only

The children of Israel saw the Divine in the symbolism
and became an ethical nation – my soul rejoices & my
heart is burning, my passion is awakened & feelings
whipped to a frenzy, I’m willing to invest my belief in
Velikovsky’s version of ancient events – then the anti-
climax as Scorpio returns to this magical realm just to
demand orderliness; deflated I couldn’t hold onto the
happy visionary bubbles and Alice left Velikovsky’s
Wonderland - to prepare a meal; my soul overawed

By the immense cataclysms decimating humanity again
and again - yet the world always recovered and mankind
always survived… How is this possible, by what magic is
Earth’s soul protected as it groans under the onslaught of
electrical discharges arcing & magnetic forces pulling the
waters into sky-high standing waves to flatten the land with
tsunamis and earth-quakes – how does life survive when
the sun disappears – who saves the spark of life and how
many races and places have been lost in the mist of time

Leaving enough space for Atlantis, Lobsang Rampa’s
travels to Tibetan cities hidden deep in the Himalayas,
Israeli integrity and Buddhist duplicity practiced in order
to protect childish nations; what keeps humanity going?
I prefer to believe non-physical powers keep the races
safe by assisting us in difficult times as it gives me the
inspiration to visualise the wisdom and intelligence of
the universe in which we live…

Seeing Forever

And so - on a clear day you can see forever - or is 

it what you’d want to view when mist clears; better 

yet - a track not littered with Old Grace’s offerings; 

she has them placed thoughtfully every fifth step - 

proffering directions discretely in neat horse-dung 

piles to guide your feet; well it makes this journey 

more of an adventure than gazing vacantly into a 

bathed-in-wonder, wide & enchanted blue yonder 

Tho’ we didn’t stop to say good-day to Her Grace 

she greeted us with a head-nod, snicker maybe if 

she’d overheard complaining; gee, there’s tons of 

it, so what does she do all day; well, graze, she’d 

say most likely, and ramble a bit in seeking relief 

from endless boredom of always seeing forever 

© 27 July 2015, I. D. Carswell

No-One [Shortened]

It’s overpowering to know, to feel, to realise –
hear my lament: no-one spoke up on Israel’s
behalf as the Holy Land was betrayed by 5
world powers & the USA; politicians left her
at the mercy of her Iranian arch-enemy with
all their missiles and nuclear threats - in a
negotiation process conducted to the tune
of their genocidal intent, thus this event

Unfolding in eerie repetition of  WWII - the
deafening silence in Vienna while mullahs
proclaim their Final Solution, American aid
offered oblivious to the threat against their
own continent - if Israel falls these nations
will go down also and Scripture says the
West shall go first, Israel will survive in
the end – these politicians betrayed 

Both Israel & their own people when they
bribed Iran in an attempt to control their
nuclear program; firms eager for business
with the rogue state – Israel sold once
again - and no-one spoke up...

Carried Away (rev.)

The radio happily playing to itself, kettle bubbling
away cheerfully, TV prattling in rapid French - it’s
a wonderful melée of sound; but unfortunately I’m
house-bound, must see a dentist after filling loss
last night. Wrapped within an Africa-style blanket
while daintily sipping English tea - dieting means
lacking feeling, disinterested drifting on life’s sea

Shall go to the library, awaken interest & positive
sense; depressed, paying off credit - not working
while my teeth fall out, reality’s only function is to
dispense a trampoline for high jumping to reach
theories & dreams - but overspending & peeling
ceilings hold me down; when feeling well I’ll find
things I love - even playing at it is good enough

Anything putting rose-hued glasses on my eyes
will do; been lost in the seven dark nights of the
soul for too long to find happiness by not over-
indulging in food, must edit rhythm of life’s beat
to be in step with uplifting music; heart-strings
mouldy from disuse, wanting to vibrate to new
songs, ideas, plans - visions of excitement

Why didn’t it come - where did I lose feelings,
could it have been when my imagination was
bound - and how can it be freed without my
being carried away again…


[ORIGINAL:]The radio happily playing to itself, the kettle 
cheerfully bubbling along, TV rattling away in
rapid French, a wonderful melée of sound; I’m
house-bound, must see a dentist - lost a filling
last night; Africa-style blanket around me while
daintily sipping English tea - dieting means lack
of feeling, drifting without interest on life’s sea

Shall go to the library to awaken interest & positive
feeling; I’m depressed, paying off credit not working
while my teeth are falling out, reality’s only function
is to provide a trampoline for jumping high to reach
theories and dreams - but overspending and peeling
ceilings hold me down; when feeling well I shall find
things I love - even playing at it is good enough –

Anything that puts rose-tinted glasses over my eyes
will do, I’ve been lost in the seven dark nights of the
soul for too long & must find happiness without over-
indulging in food - change the rhythm of life’s beat to
be in step with uplifting music, my heart-strings are
mouldy with disuse & want to vibrate to a new song,
find excitement in a new idea, a plan, a vision – 

Why doesn’t it come- where have I lost my feelings,
could it have been when my imagination was bound
- and how can everything be freed without my getting
carried away again…

Insouciant Individuals (Rev.)

To Free World citizens, i.e. us, liberty means to be
free from responsibility, accountability, conscience;
free from duty, morality and ethics – just like artists
claim their art is above the law and no restriction in
any sense can limit expression of their imagination;
that creativity is an Übermensch-thing for unbridled
action – which was used by Hitler to justify the Nazi
regime, a perfect Übermensch coming into its own -

remaking society. Freedom is its own worst enemy;
in giving it to its opponents to destroy, as is seen in
threats of Islamic State, forcing Sharia law upon all
unwilling victims - which include the lackadaisical,
free-from-care Western societies where insouciant
individuals float around at the mercy of any groups
using the concentrated mental power of quantum
physics to influence subatomic particles which

change the world. Religion-based brainwashing &
meditation - the Free World might wake up too late
just as in WWII when the Allied Forces discovered
responsibility as instilled by military need to protect
freedom of being and religion, is based on fighting
those who use freedom to oppress the weak - and
stopping the aggression by which the foundation of
freedom on which the warmongers rose to power -

Is forcefully, unmercifully, inexorably destroyed…

Sweet Withdrawal (rev)

Becoming a stand-up translator instead of a stand-up
comedian, relaying dry source-text less its witticisms,
sinking lower to reach a keyboard from above: built a
leaning tower of Pisa to elevate screen & TWO Eiffel
towers next to each other to levitate my keyboard -

My chair fell apart, second-to-last caster wheel broke
off, and sitting on life-threatening office-chairs isn’t a
success for me; two IT experts claim it is healthier to
stand all day - tho’ their contrivances are much more
professional than mine - so I’m applying the advice -

As long as legs & feet hold me up long enough - all
the while trying to stop my book-towers from falling -
we’ll see where it takes me - if any change is good
as a holiday, then I’m on vacation in the office; Mme
Pompadour has assured me no chair’s forthcoming

This is after State Employer bought her haughtiness
a special chair & built her a separate office because
she has a psychologist’s letter, using up enough sick
leave to merit final notices; anything to do with health
sounds good: thus I listen to Maria Callas, Gounod’s

Ave Maria, on repeat before moving to “Blue Tango”
to watch Death dancing, Renata Flitworth in a scene
eternally imprinted on my heart - reverently right next
to the Torah with its pure ideals lighting up my inner
cathedral of peace with this relaxing harmony

in sweet withdrawal from tumultuous life…

Back to Delight [REV.]

“That Happy Feeling” on repeat - expressing my
delight in beautiful rose-patterned containers I’ve
bought, a silver-white fan graces my hat-stand as
well as candles for the birthday cake; can’t wait to
use new silver filigree tape to frame my bedroom
mirror -

difficult to descend to earth with all these dreams
in my head; I float around reality not clogging my
view, crystal eyes with lace eyelids can’t focus on
anything less, sheer fabric enfolds a world of joy
in pearly shine - it can be used to redecorate my
mind –

daydream clouds - like misted pastel satin lines in
webs of silver-white filigree; I used to seek wisdom
in Proverbs for my sanctuary within and now the old
symbolism of purity lifts me up on wings of light and
song - so THIS is why Old Testament priests had to
wear special garments -

they delight in symbolism so much that they reduce
the whole universe to physical life; BUT there is the
most wonderful promises of other living dimensions
& more universes with life continuing within musical
vibrations which shine with a glorious light to attract
all lost elements -

back to delight…

Hunting For Dreams [REV.]

Repeat function - playing Bach and languidly
gazing at underwater pictures; African Safari
moving me up and down until growing cross-
eyed, Skater’s Waltz to see what will come of
it, deciding pastel reflects my mind-set best

Burning desire to seek pastel flowers & table-
cloths fires me - living on credit – but Tiaan’s
delighted with his birthday presents: a flask,
Men’s Toiletry Bag, a misting spray-can for
his beloved plants, a Marseilles pocket-knife

I want to replace my autumn bronze blooms
with pastel pink hydrangeas, toyed with tulle
last night - one eye on the TV - where young
brides swanned beautifully in chiffon & lace
confections of dress - covered in layers of

Cascading tulle; I tie transparent bows in my
windows mesmerised, dream of Swarovski
crystals in my hair - this morning I want to
try on a wig to improve my looks, feeling so
inspired to try new things today; the Skaters

Becoming insipid in violins’ satiny slides,
on to Saint Saëns whose piano lines create
more underwater scenes in my mind’s eye;
must leave the office to go hunting dreams,
beautiful things, to think of pastel schemes

Rose-patterned anything to infuse my new
conception of heaven…

Believing [rev]

Quiet in my little sphere from where I stare
at the wide world as leaders decide to use
the power of the mind to conquer the earth
and its riches, giving birth to a new regime

Empowering sly leaders beyond the power
of imagination, laying to rest ideals of the
free world which thought that agnosticism
would guarantee peace; - not so, all that

Happened was conquerors subjected their
vanquished to a creed they didn’t believe in,
reversing the world back to barbarism and
animalism where the strongest is King

Just as Darwin said; how gratified they must
be to live the verification of an atheistic idea -
the strong will conquer and reign, how great
to live the life forced upon them by those

Who know how to harness belief to prove:
believing brings about seeing

Sanctifies Life

When all is said and done,
I stand with Israel, side with
Judaism which sanctifies life,
the only liberal democracy in
the Middle East which

Guarantees religious freedom,
ruled by a liberal code of law &
living by democratic values that
protect human rights - enabling
people to reach their full potential

Israel’s a joyful and optimistic place
that brings out the best in its citizens
and embodies the best of humanity’s
values - that’s why the Israelis protect
their land with all their heart

Bureaucratic Magic [Rev]

Dancing, singing, Frida Boccara and Stille
Nacht by the Wiener Knaben in my ears, I
happily chant about the repetitions of this
administrative miracle brought about by a
diligent application of bureaucratic magic:

Obtained proof of leave at my disposal and
applied - perfectly I’ll have you know - and
everyone signed the leave form, saw Mme
Pompadour on the floor in her office fixing
her plugs, danced to Machoene to hand in

The document that would put Michelangelo
to shame were he to see its finely sculpted
form which proves that I exist & appeared
today only to disappear on Friday to sleep
late, get up when the sun’s already shining

Drink a leisurely cup of coffee & languidly
wander my lovely parlour - delighting with
its shiny silk, brightly covered notebooks
strewn everywhere - as happy as I never
dreamed I could be when I was small… 

Fire My Dreams

Ice-cold without feeling, The Accountant* - like the
self-proclaimed highwayman* of Languages, has a
license to assassinate South Africa’s red-cheeked
daughter Afrikaans, establishing with his irrefutable
logic that people exposed to this contaminating

Obscurant Afrikaans language phenomenon - have
never gained benefits because they lost the strong,
sturdy, hefty, high-brow Dutch from which Deviant
Afrikaans as Dialect had the temerity to mutate like
evolution gone bad in lowering the great original

Afrikaans now have English only for prior language
history - only the Norse Language Association has
been successful in creating their cultural language
while the American, Québécois, Flemish, Brazilian
and Mexican Language Associations all failed

Therefore, this is what we* should have done - this
language mogul claims  - we can’t hail the Dutch
Lexicon from which our little language originates:
the learned Financial Wizard continued (doesn’t
he know nobody spoke or read Dutch in Africa?)

Such soul-searching & unsolicited concern for our
maligned being is strange as the benefit I obtained
from speaking and reading my precious language
cannot be reckoned in sums or written down in
columns - reading Keurboslaan for integrity

Singing Die Lorelei and Sonnegoudtowersongs
based on Sehnsuchtsvolle Deutsch - made life
go klopdisselboom - the joy of learning English
deliberately as an excellent component of my
life; Paul Gallico’s Capitaine Coq, Rowling’s

Harry Potter in Afrikaans, skokiaan-versions of
Quatschlieder; Koos DuPlessis-Sprokies, then
reading Dwaalstories & Woelwater Warrelwind,
Liewe Heksie by Verna Vels, Staal Burger and
the Republic of Flinkveria by Fanus

Rautenbach - ‘n Handvol Waboomblare, ‘n Baie-
Bietjie-Babie, Lamtietie-Damtietie Slaap-Pikanini,
Ruisende Graanveld and Pêrlende Wyn, also the
rousing TROETELSONDES: as I count my riches,
my heart overflows – this is the Joy, Difference

Growth and Value that fire my dreams… 

[The Accountant* = Petrus van Eeden]
Highwayman* = Struikrower]
we* = Genootskap van Regte Afrikaners]

Language Of My Heart [REV]

Illicitly reading the Bible in Afrikaans, illegally I sing
Langehoven’s Lullaby and recite Winter’s Night by
Eugène N Marias; according to a clever accountant
it is wrong to write Afrikaans since all dialects may be
freely spoken but never admitted to a higher status of
book learning: what daring, what infinite evil-doing this

Is, creating a century of poetry in an illegal tongue, it’s
asinine idiocy to leave the refined languages - of which
Dutch is our designated written language;  to create our
own story, own dictionary, literature & church liturgy, it’s
blasphemy! - such presumption marks us as unholy and
unrepentant, so we’re cut off from our cultural roots and

End up revering English as the tongue of our history; I
sigh: Thank heaven for such a lingua franca; I’ll accept
all rejection & sing my Lullaby in Afrikaans & shining all
spiritual light in my mother tongue, listening as Mabalel’s
ankle-ringe still go klingelinge - enjoying the decadence
of learning life’s lessons in the language of my heart…

Wondering [REV]

I’m vexed, my report is gone & I’ve been sternly informed
I messed up an electronic questionnaire; rewrote  report,
profusely apologised for my bad replies - having marked
all ‘Extremely Unsatisfactory’ in confusion, the question
orders were wrong, negative option first - it’s customary
to offer the positive option first, I’d ticked first box for all

Book-packing in the store, messing up my colleague’s
Spartan-perfect order; changed my font to blue, my two
last documents gone also - muscle spasms in my right
eye - were I in my right mind I would’ve gone home for
a nice lie down; softly my colleagues discuss their happy
lives; in order to lift my mind, out comes my credit card,

I buy for my daughter’s room leaning tower of Pisa and
beautiful Eiffel Tower room décor, transparent fabric &
lovely silver glitter ribbon for myself - altho’ comfortably
settling I’m given a Presidential letter in French: another
challenge to tax my dark-hole brain to the utmost; I sigh
while starting on the new translation project - wondering

Whether I’ll ever acquire ability to concentrate on one
thing at a time, conquer Weltschmerz and existential
Angst marring my life...

Being The Vision (C)

I’m able to FEEL like an elf, a fairy dreamer,
when I’m surrounded by flowers and beautiful
things, lace and glittery strings, pastel colours
and symbols of dreams – self-love is very much
entwined with momentary feelings of being the
vision we’re conjuring by thinking - how does it
feel for others and other-dimensional beings?