Love Her So Much [R]

The magic of dreams, of consciousness, of having 
been taught infallible terms to realise visions; each 
time my laptop at home stops working & refuses to 
open, claiming flat battery despite an electric cable 
connecting it, I pray, using a still effective scheme 
taught me as a child, then remove and reinsert the 
battery, reconnect the cable & lo, my laptop opens; 
I can pour out joys & tragedies - the joy is my little 
girl’s landed a lovely job on a cruise ship - tragedy 
is each time I print the information for her I realise 

She’ll be gone for a long time; my motherly instinct 
makes me cry, already wrenching my heart to think 
she’ll be so far away, its terrible being torn between  
options: what’s best for my daughter and my desire 
to keep her with me where I can see and touch her; 
I know the same magic that keeps my laptop going  
will keep her safe, but oh, it’s such heartache when 
she’s leaving, her bright little mind formed more by 
TV and school than myself: No, not true, she walks 
about singing her favourite songs, smiling at those 

Others shun, she’s a sweetheart & soon everyone
on the cruise ship will know it; I do all my crying in 
advance so when the day of her leaving comes I’ll 
be calm & composed - she’s the sweetest wee girl 
the World’s ever seen - love fills my heart to over-
flowing - how much she means to me just sitting in 
her room pouting & publicly  castigating me when 
I’m too childish for her sophisticated taste, it’s why 
I love her so much it hurts…