Guilelessly Replied [Rev]

I’ve just had the privilege of reading a treatise by exotic
Professeur de psychologie Pierre Philippot & ein ganz
fabelhafter englischer Psychologe - Robert S Feldman
claiming a dramatic discovery - i.e., that “People lie to
escape consequences of their deeds”, mesmerised I
was - stupefied by their confabulation of a fairytale

Based on dedicated research & noting people’s replies
to their amazingly intricate & convoluted question: “Why
do you lie”  - their victims, forced into wasting precious
time by filling in questionnaires instead of lying (again)
to enjoy their lives, guilelessly replied “Because I want
to live in peace without persecution for breathing” -

This is touted as a most wonderful psychiatric discovery,
people lie to escape the wrath of revenge and justice by
the injured party; solemnly the pedagogic Philippot and
pedantic Feldman announced this greatest insight in a
human psyche: The young girl who crashed her car did
not tell her dad to escape his ire - Wunderbar! -

Students don’t relate the details of their infidelity so as
to NOT suffer the hate of their mates - Merveilleuse! -
humankind’s never received such illuminating insight
into emotional duplicity, thus, in short - everybody lies
to escape punishment - hold your breath, when THIS
conclusion is stated in grandiose, surreal terms:

“Theory and research support the idea Individuals (the
term ‘people’ is not jargon enough) use deception (not
lying - too common) to modify (not change) a situation
to alter emotional effects (not punishment for crimes)
on the deceiver” - mär¬chen¬haft, wunderbar - & Freud
would jump up and down confabulational with delight

Phantasmagorical & necromancing theories brewing
in his Freudian heart & Oedipusian subconscious as
he ruminates about death in a netherworldian, astral
dimensional frequency - with his consciousness free
to reign supreme without intrusion of all the intrinsic,
animalistic & pantheist cravings of human life -

What joy psychiatry brings to human sciences, it is so
bezaubernd, brillant, entzückend, genial, hinreißend &
phänomenal, sensationell, exzellent, exzeptionell und
superb, formidabel, spektakulär, überragend und auch
überwältigend – finden Sie nicht*?
 
[*Don‘t you agree?]

--In psychiatry: confabulation = a memory disturbance, fabricated
and distorted facts without conscious intention to deceive such as
historical facts, FAIRYTALES

“Regulation of Emotion” – Philippot and Robert S