Giving You Part Of My Life

If I loved myself more, I know I would have adored you

because you were so much like me, but around you my

cover of dutiful Donkeyskin was not strong enough and

I would never own to dreaming so much as you did all

the time, I kept my sadness for the pages of notebooks

 

And diaries, shocked when Peter Pan told me grandma

Cinderella read criticism of her in my diaries - I’m sorry,

I never knew when I was young that grandma had never

been to the ball; I hope you gave her all your love when

she kept house for your family, I hope having been cursed

 

With a part of my mind you were good to the Queen of Hearts

because I changed sides halfway through life, being mom’s

minion as a child I abhorred Conan, then when I was ill and

Conan took care of me I became his myrmidon - that’s how

we are, you & I: either fully for or against someone, nothing

 

In between, ashamed I admit I hid my allegiance to you from

our siblings because your arrogance made them so mad -

they would not listen when I said it was your protection -

your shimmering mirage: today I own you publicly,

I’m giving you part of my life…