On Reading

In standard one we moved house, at the new place
there was a whole drum full of old magazines, I got
in and sat reading for hours, my gran’s old magazines
in the garage was another treasure trove, incorpo-
rating my dad’s detective novels

My uncle and aunt had a room in the backyard crammed
full of different kinds of magazines, when visiting I read
as many as I could, while my paternal gran boasted
millions of comics and photo books, I only went
visiting to read all those

In standard two the teacher kept children’s magazines
in class to be read as soon as we finished work, I read
the adventures of the fairies Wanda and Pikkie and the
French Vicky Villard at boarding school - I loved reading
so much, I was punished

Because I kept forgetting the rule during exams we had
to study instead of reading on finishing work, it was a sad
year, learning about Merino sheep, boring, erosion, the
frog’s life cycle, couldn’t spell fire brigade; couldn’t
master multiplication at all

Until I discovered Keurboslaan and Dr Serfontein became
my talisman, I wanted to be like him, learn a new language
every year, write many books, lift one eyebrow, though
my attempt made me look more like Boris Karlof
than anything else

Since Sean Connery lifts his eyebrow so easily, I suspect Stella
Blakemore, writing as Theunis Krogh, used him as a role model,
the fact that Dr Serfontein used a soft hat as a weapon is a
dead giveaway for 007 …