Flee to Breathe & Live

*
No more reading Colin Wilson quoting from
140 source texts, moving so fast through the
material, I become dizzy and nauseous, some
meditation becomes a form of catalepsy within
malevolent consciousness, and I cannot read
‘Fintan’s Tower’ describing a bleak, menacing
universe

A last glimmer of hope, ‘The Beast of Whixall
Moss’ by Pauline Fisk – I am foiled again, the
author presents a dark, threatening universe
a little boy without love and support, I end up
crying; on page 89 Wilson quotes author
Joyce Collins-Smith losing her mind, the
world turning sinister

The world grows dark and incomprehensible
for me also, tomorrow I must read a positive
book delineating a benevolent universe to
reinstate happy feelings of joy, life and love –
I cannot survive too much tragedy – every
unhappy emotion translates into a headache,

every event becoming an accusation that I
must flee in order to breathe and live…


Colin Wilson “Beyond the Occult” p. 89
Catherine Fisher “Fintan’s Tower”
Pauline Fisk “The Beast of Whizall Moss”
*

Golden Love

*

Big Bro understands my laments and explosions
I found golden love in the people I know -
the King of the North, god Lugh, Karl,
Okefenokee Al - you approve of my
existence...
*

More Christian Birmingham

*

I love these illustrations, words and
descriptions will come later...
*

*

Christian Birmingham Illustrator

*

Translating little letters composed by little people
to the little President of a small country in a small
corner of the universe, where the solar system is
softly bobbing in the Sagittarius Arm of the Milky
Way Galaxy, when I stumbled upon the beautiful
illustrations of Christian Birmingham, staring in
enchantment at his pictures for an edition of The
Little Mermaid, immediately wanted to make them
Mine, adding his pictures to my Blogspot so I can
Look at them whenever I want – I love it, staring
at beautiful illustrations…
*

http://www.booksillustrated.com/en-UK/cb0081/
The Little Mermaid - By Hans Andersen
illustrated by Christian Birmingham
*

Ready For Strange Magic (Rev.)

*
Like a buttercup, I sailed the street,
wearing my Bafana T-shirt with élan,
ready to support my team in the
Soccer World Cup - It felt more
like flying as I danced down the
pavement to my favourite
hang-out place

The dimly lit library, I cannot concentrate
need somewhere to park my mind - Beast
of Whixall Moss I found perfect, a boy
professing not to care if he cannot
satisfy mother’s desire for perfection
and Fintan’s Tower, about a boy

Looking for a book he could get lost in –
just like me, escaping from robotic ‘Beam
Me Up, Scotty’ reality, books founded
in fantasy, I am ready
for strange magic
*

An Eternal Unfolding

*

The value of life is not quantity, but
joy - the more joyful live longer, relax,
breathe, be free and romp, let all things
awaken new feelings

Be aware of how you feel, reach for
thoughts that feel good - be open, tuned
in, turned on - the timing of death is always
determined by you

I want to live the miraculous while I am alive
then wave goodbye with a happy sigh, looking
forward to the infinite continuity of self-conscious
awareness – an eternity

To become what I am dreaming about, maybe
I shall realize one dream here below, the rest of
my dreams shall be refined to go into fulfilment for
all the rest of time

An eternal unfolding of every new viewpoint
and each new desire…
*

Multifarious Approaches

*
Irrespective of religion
multifarious approaches
to life work amazingly well
let everybody believe whatever
they want to believe

Everything works perfectly, you
would not want anything to do with
certain religions - perfect mechanisms
for the people involved; ALL world views
are a boon to someone

Let it be, let it be, variety
is a very good thing…
*

Ecclesiastes, Revelations (Rev.)

*
Three conspirators moving stealthily
covering fact that one of them is not
wearing shoes lost one last night
his dad will be livid, we are hiding
evidence until a plan can be made

Manoeuvres successful, made it safely
out of the house, crept quietly from car
into school grounds; but how long before
all is revealed, how long before we are
found out, should I secretly buy a pair

and hope for the best, once his dad
knows, there will be a conflagration,
sackcloth and ashes, condemnation,
full-scale fire and brimstone

Ecclesiastes, Revelations and
Armaggedon all rolled into one…
*

I Will Never Forget

*
A day of total frustration, I pick a fight
you slap down everything I swank into
the house, ebulliently proud of myself
driving with lasik eyes unable to see at
night in a full moon, the sky forgiving

I sing loudly, disappointment and
anger no longer suppressed, I swallow
my feelings, digest and bury them
deeply, I have no right to interfere
with a smooth course of life

I must translate my super-boring
document tonight while wondering
what real facts define the dispute
between Tom Thumb and the Duchess
and why I cannot understand

How much Grandma Alice did for them!
Tom Thumb sent to school in a clean shirt
each day while I wore mine over and over
to save her extra work, yet not a single
word of thanks to her memory

I could wish she sent him off in dirty
clothes, unthankful child, but it is over,
Grandma Alice is already non-physical,
she probably forgave, I am the one to
remember, I will never forget – though
I cannot take my tears away...
*

Run For My Life (Rev.)

*
When we were small, my peppery-tongued twin
aka the Duchess complained about little brother,
Tom Thumb, I advised leave him alone, today we
are grown but she still interferes in his life

He complains, Look What the Duchess Is Doing To Me
I’m amazed now as I was then, their lives entangled
the little Tom Thumb and my acerbic sister of the
acid tongue still at loggerheads

Mother, Queen of Hearts, unaware of their existence
father, a happy Sagittarean, keeping to himself, while
Tom Thumb says the Duchess is throwing pepper at
him, spoiling his life with lies

I mention our self-sacrificing Cinderella, grandma
Alice, a perfectionist, offering unstinting service and
love, both Tom Thumb and the Duchess erupt like
volcanoes giving me a feeling of Déja Vu

Their antipathy is founded in old wounds I know
nothing about, would be directed against me the
moment I got involved - I wonder why they detest
each other and dear grandma Alice so

Anyone involved in their lives is suspect
I should run for my life…
*

Entanglement

*
A surprising discovery of modern physics
objects are not separate, drill down into the
core of solid-looking material to find
separateness dissolve

Only the Cheshire Cat smile from Alice in Won-
derland remains in relationships extending through-
out time and space forming connections as predicted
by quantum theory

Albert Einstein said it is‘spooky action at a distance’
Erwin Schrödinger said it is ‘peculiar entanglement’
connections between atomic-sized objects persist
over many miles

Tasks are accomplished by members of entangled
groups not communicating conventionally –
coherence in living systems depends on
quantum effects like entanglement…


Summary of material found at:
www.deanradin.com
*

Bricks in Coal Stove

*
First my old standby, a lovely purple
hot water bottle, started leaking in my
bed, sadly I had to say goodbye to the
loveliest hot water bottle I have ever had,
purple being my favourite colour, maybe
it makes me feel spiritual, maybe it is
the association with lavender

I was so sad, I did not buy a new one
until the cold got too much and a plastic
cooldrink bottle, a temporary replacement
got unscrewed in bed, once again my leg
was wet, I was constrained to get the real
thing, brown this time, displaying it as
Nici was filling her hot water bottle

Suddenly her hot water bottle exploded
burning her skin, the rubber weakened by
years of scalding hot water instead of the
cooler water as prescribed, I KNOW we
should cool boiling water before pouring
it into rubber, but we always want it
warmer than we are allowed

I remember my dad once crying out in the
night as my mother’s hot water bottle burst,
we were still at school, I was surprised, us
kids warmed hot bricks in the coal stove and
broke our toes whenever they connected with
the brick in bed, the idea of hot water bottles
seemed so alluring

In the beginning I added cold water to boiling
to make a hot water bottle last, then I slipped
and used water straight from the kettle, repea-
ting mother’s mistake, killing bottle after bottle
making me remember those hot bricks with a
fondness I never thought possible
when I was young...


[My brother once installed an electric blanket in
my bed, but the heat was too overpowering, I
still prefer a small warm thing I can move
around at will]
*

Well-Meaning Blunderers

*
Explaining my spiritual viewpoint to
the young people last night –

Nobody should impose their opinions on
others, people should be allowed to heal
as well as they might, everybody chose
their problems and shortcomings

Forcing improvements on others lead to
altruists getting lynched or being misjudged
and dying on crosses, interference on behalf
of humanity led to such atrocities

It should be forbidden to meddle in the welfare of
someone else, altruism should be outlawed because
the victims always blame the negative consequences
on the well-meaning blunderers who took over their lives

Establishing a society based on rational self-interest, intrinsic
goodness of mankind and a benevolent universe should be
enough, individuals should concentrate on their own lives
stop forcing guidance on others

Parents are the most dangerous people in the universe, forcing
their children to repeat their own miserable lives which
created our dysfunctional society, if children were allowed
to experiment with new innovations

Human society would make some real progress…

- Resulted in too little sleep, I am fatigued, lost
interest, yet it still is a million years
before lunch…
*

The Pain of Beauty

*

[ORIGINAL]

Staring at
crystal chandeliers
piercing beauty of the crystal’s
purity, miniature rainbows playing
within the crystal spheres representing
planets hung in circle formation to form a
universe; the pain of beauty ethereal shoots
through my heart, is it because I have to leave
it behind? Crying for the beauty ephemeral of
shining crystals, the cascading drops of a
waterfall suspended forever, breaking my
heart and I cannot say why, taking a
photo to dry my tears, constricted
throat relaxing, the pain of beauty
brought under control, I can
take the image of the
sublime crystals
with me...


[SECOND VERSION]

Staring at crystal chandeliers , at the
piercing beauty of the crystals' purity
miniature rainbows playing within the
crystal spheres, representing planets
hung in circle formation to create
several universes

The pain of beauty ethereal shooting
through my heart I want to become
one with such beauty, melt with the
clarity, shine and delight, wild desire
making me cry about the beauty
ephemeral of shining crystals

The crystal chandelier looks like the
cascading drops of a waterfall sus -
pended in time forever, I want to im-
bibe the beauty physically, if only I
could attain unity with the beauty

Of crystals sublime...
*

Tackle the World

*
Willem offered an example - what of the wife
who shot her husband because he threatened
her with a screwdriver, she was found guilty of
manslaughter and incarcerated

From a spiritual viewpoint I do not believe the law just,
I said, if she were not to be blamed as I claimed, she
would have made the most of her spell in prison
and that would prove me right

Studying, learning a craft, feeling better than under
her Hitlerian husband - if she simply went from bad
to worse, she would have proved the law right -
only retrospectively can we say

Whether a decision was right or wrong, it all depends
on what we did under the circumstances we had to
face, if she were really a victim of her husband’s
insistence on her being a slave

Her behaviour in jail would reveal her true nature - but
of course, my viewpoint is not popular, the law wants
its decisions endorsed, there are rules, Willem says,
he feels passionate about them; he is self-confident

As long as he believes passionately, he is safe, chasing
his dreams with enthusiasm, Willem is Nici’s friend, they
are still young, ready to tackle the world...
*

The Frogs’ Sports Top

*
Unusual weather in April, it rains and rains
I am trying to translate a hodgepodge of
letters to the President, a French author
recommending himself for a Nobel prize
another complaining about heathens

I try to retain my sanity and fool my brain into
rejuvenation by listening to the same Children’s
Stories of my primary school days, Tiaan ran away
shouting - so I tried Min Shaw hiccupping her way
through Kokkewiete in imitation of Dominique, and

Evening Song of the Birds, Lance James crooning
along, who knows where this originally came from,
when I concentrate I can press out a few tears when
listening to this, Heino’s ‘Junge Kom Mal Wieder zu
Heim’ – Tiaan offering to have me institutionalised

Willem sagely nodding his head, he understands how
priceless sentimental memories of yesteryear, obediently
listening to Staal Burger as ordered by his Mom - finally
the noise is too much, Tiaan went cross-eyed when “The
Frogs’ Sports Top” were presented by the Rudolphs

I have forgotten how artificial the original stories; happily
convinced I have regressed thirty years after listening to
these youthful stories and songs, alienating my own child
I return to André Rieu’s rendition of Olé Guapa, luckily
Tiaan is watching rugby and does not see me

Dancing a tango all by myself – with an imaginary
partner, of course...
*

Interpret Physical Experience

*
I love reading accounts of mystical ex-
perience, the freedom of infinity and
interconnectedness, the oneness of
unity, speak to my soul

Mystical accounts make my heart sing
set my spirit free from the sadness and
fear that always threaten to pounce
and take my joy away

I adore the following description because
my feelings always overflow - just like this
mystic describes his strange experiments
with altered states of mind:

“Subjective thoughts, feelings and images
immediately became as real as objective
phenomena while objective phenomena
appeared fictitious and subjective

Embedded within mathematical relations, every-
thing accompanied by powerful emotional states
an inner world where joy, horror, wonder and
rapture continually changed places

Giving access to infinite knowledge, the answers
to all possible questions found in a single word,
the next day the physical world felt like the
cosmic equivalent of a frozen Syberia

All thought trapped by gravity, consciousness moving
slowly in mere reflection of the environment - in a
succession of visual images”*

I live my life with such mystical feelings - do you understand
why I need your eyes to see, your mind to interpret this
slow-moving world to me - I live with my heart in
my mouth, but I feel hidden and safe

When you are in charge, allowing me freedom to ex-
plain my strange experience, the joy of unlimited
creativity, the wonder of soap-bubble dreams,
the horror of self-discipline

The difficulty of trying to interpret
physical experience?


“Beyond the Occult” Colin Wilson, Caxton Editions, 2002
*Quoted from pages 40, 41 and 42.
*

Helpless Act of Experiencing

*
Body, mind, physical and dream universes,
feelings, knowledge – all are non-essential
to being alive; fear and guilt vanish because
awareness is beyond harm - experience is
NOT part of one's being

All experience comes from outside, flowing
through awareness, we are not responsible
for the helpless act of experiencing our
experience – a state of freedom solving
every problem by eliminating it

Providing an unburdened peace...


Enlightenment Clearly Explained
By Sufi George

http://www.trans4mind.com/spiritual/enlightenment.html
*

Enlightenment

*
Enlightenment is the experience of the
existence of awareness, thought-pro-
cessing mind empty, body awareness
lost, feeling gone, reality disappears
nothing in the imagination, nothing
anywhere - an experience of the void

Teaching we are alive even when all is
gone, existence does not depend on
anything except awareness, the primal
reality, the permanent core, this brings
relief and liberation, life is awareness
NOT what awareness experiences


Enlightenment Clearly Explained
By Sufi George

http://www.trans4mind.com/spiritual/enlightenment.html
*

Velvet Kisses

*

In honour of autumn I bought yellowing leaves
to replace the pink blooms of spring adorning
the screen of my computer, the crystal heart
and flower acquired new meaning

Seemed more appropriate than before, it feels
so good to align with the seasons, to be in
harmony with nature, though the air-con
technicians have a different opinion

In summer they kept the temperature below
zero, we needed warm fleeces to work, now
things are heating up, the tie between man-
kind and nature is broken in the office

But I bring in my own link, feel the passion
of autumn surge in my breast, filled with
nostalgia by the bronzing autumn sun
warming my skin with velvet kisses
*

Same Thing, Differently

*

Perplexed by a description of what people
dream about – I don’t dream in the way pre-
scribed, I dream about words and sounds,
a warm light in eyes, voices delighting in
music and song

Sharing laughter and fun, humour, comedies,
happiness in the mind, I adore the sensation
of icy water on skin, the relaxing warmth of the
sun, the wind in my hair when speeding in a
fast car, passion

As an experience of soul, I dream of being a
melody myself, a golden ray of sunshine, flying
without wings, leaving the physical world to
become pure feeling, pure thought, pure
adoration of the sublime

I dream of being happy, of the same thing
others dream, only described differently…
*

State Of Grace (Revised)

*

It is important feeling safe -
I love the way you make me feel
secure; so when it seems that you
are angry or dissatisfied with
safety gone, I'm at a loss, but long
as you can claim to be in charge
as long as you have answers, whether
right or wrong, is quite irrelevant

As long as you believe in it
then I'll believe that all is safe and you
will solve the rest of irksome problems
that beset; I am elated, I can love you
rest assured and treat and hug you
spoil you, rub you just because you
keep the world in place. I can do it
just for you, BUT can’t confront
the World's enormity

I can support you long as you are
there for me to hide behind, a refuge
from the things I cannot understand; I
am safe upon your claim to understand,
am happy, joyous, glad. I spent my early
years in fear, today I know I only have
myself to fear – as long as you protect
me from my own egregious angst

I am okay but miss your company when
you depart on quests; I have to think it up
myself because your presence holds me
in a sphere where I'm secure. Oh yes, I
LOVE it - what you do, of being there with
you, hear your calming voice relating
what is going on - knowing you are strong
protects and leaves me feeling safe

Your gift to me a state of grace...
*

It Is A Gamble

*

Eating too much fatty food turned me into
a cockroach, like the alien in Men In Black
I can only fight back against the fatigue by
consuming sugar, I plonked boiled sugar
sweets into my mouth - added sugar to
everything at home to be able to lift my
head and think coherent –

Fat does not work for my system, fat-fried
chicken with barbecue sauce and pork ribs
with marinade nearly killed me today, until
I imbibed sugar unlimited like the cockroach
who clothed himself with a farmer’s body
I remember as a child stealing lumps of
sugar, melting them in my mouth

Later I stole koeksisters, thick with sweet, spicy
syrup, just to break the fatigue, I HATE fat, what
it does to me, sugar is bad yet I need it to combat
the effect of oil and fat – one day I might be able
to eat well, but right now it is a gamble, I lose
badly sometimes, it must have a purpose to
suffer so much

Leaving no scars – but messing up my life!
*

Hide Unnatural Fatigue

*
Oh no, an attack of sleepiness, the result of
trying a new dish, this is what I have to show
for my avarice, saw a new barbecue sauce
concoction leering at me seductively, fell
for it hook, line and sinker

I am yawning, nothing can stem the tide, it is
most disheartening to lose control, fall asleep
in my chair, allergy and low blood sugar com-
bined is a knock-out, at least I have learnt to
eschew the new barbecue dish

Toted on posters everywhere, what a pity the
knowledge is dearly bought - in a perfect world
I would have fallen asleep and woken up after
hibernating for a week, as it is, I must hide
my unnatural fatigue

Evince interest in my document - the guru’s
advice to wait for inspiration means I should
run away, but I am too tired to do that; sleep,
sleep, I shall have to work at home
to make up for time lost…

[Maybe I should stop listening to Mantovani,
slow melodies worsen the syndrome...]
*

Best Experience

*

Nothing is more beautiful
than a comforting word
nothing gives more peace
than an offer of acceptance

I am happily floating about
on kind words, ensconced
in a unique friendship, feeling
fears dissolving, trust growing

Like a flower turning towards
the sun, the world a wonderful
place when a welcoming attitude
meets a gesture of affection

This is the best kind of experience
there is, friendship requited, it changes
perspective, opens my eyes to see the
sparkle of heavenly delight everywhere

Thank you for your message, it changed
the world for me, made me see how
magnificent is confidence and freedom
and being and belief…
*

Al-Hamdulilah, Naskurallah

*
A Facebook frenzy, a revelation,
opened a request by my friend and
voilà, suddenly Firefox obliged,
opened without requesting the
elusive password

Simply took me everywhere I
wanted to go, I must thank Hyla
and Johan, her son, Rianda and
Daan - it is because Hyla is loving
and warm

Rianda is beautiful and Johan is a
Vin Diesel lookalike - that I tried this
site this morning - I said hello to Carine,
greeted Irene Al-Hamdulilah – Naskurallah
Ismak Irene?

Accepted Hanelie’s baby photos and sister-in-law
Thea’s greeting and Viva Louise’s invitation to
join her site – it’s brilliant!
*

Victory Amazingly Sweet

*

I’m beginning to win the rhyming contest with
Tiaan, he insists on reciting a limerick ‘There*
once was a guy named Joe, he was a very
friendly ou’ - at first I fought back by adding
nonsensical lines ‘His blood was blou

He was very unhappy in the kou’ – yet it did not
deter my son, an inveterate poetaster; but today
I retorted ‘With dainty step Mabalêl tripped along,
the tinkling of her ankle rings accompanying a
happy little song*’ - and I conquered

Tiaan was subdued, after launching a brief counter-
attack ‘There once was a guy named Mabalêl...’ and
‘With dainty step Joe tripped along’ he stopped in his
tracks - even his friends complained about this verse
now I have finally found a magic chant

That silences him - victory over the nerve-wrecking
insistence of a fourteen-year old boy is an
amazingly sweet experience....


*Original Afrikaans:
"Daar was eenkeer ‘n ou genaamd Joe,
hy was ‘n baie vriendelike ou..."
ou = guy, blou = blue, kou = cold

*Original Afrikaans
"Vinnig langs die paadjie trippel Mabalêl
vrolik klink die liedjie wat die klingelinge
van haar enkelringe vergesel"
*

A Way To Breathe

*
There is a better way to know
than through the senses, there
is a fundamental oneness in the
universe, time is an illusion and
evil is mere appearance

I LOVE this, I can breathe in an
atmosphere where these assump-
tions are allowed to exist, I can
only live in a universe where the
scheme of everything is GOOD

NOT evil as Western society used to
teach, a universe where ALL people
are intrinsically good, where neither
time nor space exists beyond a
thought construct


“Beyond the Occult” Colin Wilson
*

Whispering Sweet Things

*

Read a book that brought my restless, inquisitive
mind to a standstill, wonderful repetition of words
works like a charm, little rhymes become a mantra
that calms my agitated soul

The little Captain saying they would not ever sink the
Neversink - old Salty replied - that’s what you think -
they sailed away, the sea rocking gently, the wind
whispering sweet things

A captain steering and peering while visiting strange
ports, bringing treasure to the Lord of Fear and Terror
in a marble palace with golden banisters, mirror floors
and shimmering crystal passages

Found his son, the lord of Quake and Quiver, in charge
one of seven children - three others living in the desert:
Borrow and Morrow and their brother Allmysorrow who
played an accordion and sang all day long

And scorned a treasure chest of gold, no music in that,
he said, preferring to play pling-plang-plong on crystal
that sings when gently tapped – I do not know why sing-
song tales like these, relying on repetition

Sensory descriptions and mystery - are the only means
that release me from existential distress; such
lyrical tales rekindle interest and make
me feel life worthwhile…


“The Little Captain and the Pirate Treasure” by Paul Biegel
Translated from Dutch by Patricia Crampton, JM Dent and
Sons, 1980, quotes from pp 6-69


http://www.nlpvf.nl/basic/auteur1.php?show=all&aut_vertid=32&Author_ID=233

Paul Biegel (1925-2006)

In the nearly forty years Paul Biegel wrote, he
enjoyed unabated success with both readers
and critics. Oblivious to passing fashions and
visibly enjoying playing with language, he related
his timeless tales of dwarfs, witches and robbers.
His world was that of the fairytale, with a riddle to
be solved, a scraggy hero and the eternal struggle
between Good and Evil.

Some of his stories are adventurous and unpretentious
such as De kleine kapitein (The Little Captain, 1971).
De kleine kapitein (The Little Captain, 1970) is one of
the most appealing children’s stories ever to have been
written in Dutch. Rarely has the spirit of a child been
quite so irresistibly enchanted.

Biegel wouldn’t be Biegel if there weren’t a thread running
through the story to tie everything together.

“The language fizzes and sparkles and is packed with jokes,
rhymes and words that don’t yet exist.”
--- De Groene Amsterdammer
*

Excitement In The Sky

*

Went walkabout at lunchtime,
sun shining brightly, now the
world is turning grey, rain sifting
down, several games help me
to find delight in weather of all
kinds, sunshine means eyes
shining in love and approval

Rain means non-physical con-
sciousness sending life-giving
water as bounty, heavy showers
mean passionate excitement in
the sky, right now the sky is a
confusion of massed grey hiding
the sun, I feel bereft, alone

The moment the sun’s rays appear
the feeling of benign awareness will
return, but I am sitting at the bottom
of a deep, dark well because I failed
to find a new book to create new
ideas and awaken interest…
*

A Free Human Being

*

During lunch I floated about in my
illegal Azalea pink top, this is no
cherry blossom pink, found peach
blossom matches the colour also,
head down to dream, watching my
top changing into flower petals

Until shocked to discover the road
covered in rotting junk as unhappy
strikers upended dust bins; I am on
their side, they are not appointed per-
manently, no medical or pension
or rights, no job security

If they have to change the city into
a dung heap to get employers to
listen to their pleas, I shall daintily
step through the heaps of debris
wishing them luck and prosperity
knowing dreams are the entryway

To bring about change for everyone
the way my dreams change me into
a free human being…
*

Charming The Maiden

*

Saturn stole the Moon Maiden
from Pluto’s dark nether realms
took her away from Mercury’s
glittering charms, plucked her
from Neptune’s dreamy arms

Saturn took the Moon Maiden
to the top of his mountain where
the breath-taking view enthralled
her, loved her with overpowering
feelings till breaking of dawn

Saturn was redeemed by the Moon
Maiden’s love, rejoicing while the
other gods looked on in frustration
wondering how Saturn won the Moon
Maiden’s hand from powerful gods

Like entertaining Mercury, sexy
Pluto and glamorous Neptune,
royal Jupiter and warlike Mars,
how could stern Saturn, scolding
and cold, steal the Maiden’s heart

They could not see the soft light
in his eyes, charming the Maiden,
when he smiled in the Moon
Maiden’s healing embrace…
*

Receiving Grace

*

Keeping my eyes on inner vision,
my dream of a soft light shining
in another’s eyes, the warmth of
delight after receiving grace

Joy of acceptance and the release
of a life-long sorrow - breaking the
curse of sombre, sad Saturn by in-
fusing Mercury’s brightness

And the moon’s softness into the
harsh despondency of dedication
to duty, calling upon Neptune, the
planet of glamour and illusion

To fill the infinite potential of mystery
with beautiful dreams; confronting the
dark hole in my mind with an arsenal
of magical ideas and mesmerising

Charms, I am alive in the light shining
in another’s eyes, living by grace of the
presence aware of my existence, I am
by virtue of super-consciousness
*

The Isolation To Come

*

Monday morning, shell-shocked, stunned confusion
dazed, distressed and exhausted by an unexpected
difficulty after a strange weekend of dark foreboding
and premonition, menacing, invisible threats

Tried to soak up the sun’s energy yesterday, the sun
was weak, cloud cover frequently interfered, the sun’s
power depleted, I could not fill my batteries for the
week to come, sitting at my desk, powerless

A list of work on hand to be compiled - I must find the
right book to take my mind into a new realm where my
spirit will be free, my guru says though choice of action
is limited, choice of thought is absolutely unlimited

There is always more ahead of us than behind us, infinity
unending lies ahead, the here and now does not matter
the only question with relevance is how do we feel, life
is a quest for good-feeling thoughts, my preference is

To find good-tasting food, instead of breathing in as
recommended in meditation, I like taking in sweet
things that remind me this is a benevolent universe
I fear the isolation to come, but it will pass…
*

Break The Evil Spell

*

Food fried in oil is wonderful on the
taste buds, always enjoy eating it so
much - afterwards I have to suffer
through the night

Tonight’s fried mixture of onion, green-
pepper, egg and strips of meat led to the
allergy returning, listening to music to
break the evil spell

Muscles tightening as if the same occult
forces that affected all rugby and cricket
matches negatively today, have me in
their destructive clutches

You make these interesting concoctions
but I should know that eating spicy dishes
always cost me a spell in digestive hell –
I’m not a good cook

Being scared of food - although I admire your
inventiveness, I know that it is a short-cut to
depression; even though I finished my do-
cument today, I lost the capacity

To enjoy anything, derive joy from hard work,
so difficult to set priorities when the world turns
into an uncomfortable grey pulp and pressure
building in my head

Makes suffocation inevitable…
*

Wolf Girls of Midnapore

Seems like I mixed up Victor, the Wild Boy
from Aveyron with the Wolf Girls of Midnapore

(I am sure philsopher Thomas Hobbes would have
been interested in the Wolf Girls after his
describing human societies as packs of wolves)

In 1920 Reverend Joseph Singh, a missionary
in Northern India, hauled out two girls, aged
about three and five, from a wolf’s den. They
had matted hair on their heads and a hunched
four legged gait. Singh called the elder Kamala
and the younger Amala. They had no trace of
humanness in how they acted and thought, as
if they had the minds of wolves. They tore off
clothes put on them and would only eat raw meat.
They slept curled up together in a tight ball and
growled and twitched in their sleep. They woke after
the moon rose and howled to be let free again. They
had spent so long on all fours that their tendons and
joints had shortened so it was impossible to straighten
their legs and walk upright. They never smiled or showed
interest in human company showing only the emotion
of fear. Even their senses had become wolf-like. Their
eyes were supernaturally sharp at night and glowed in
the dark.

They could smell a lump of meat right across the orphanage's
three acre yard. Their hearing was sharp, but the voice
of humans seemed strangely inaudible to their ears.
Singh taught Kamala to walk a little and she was housetrained
within a couple of years. After several years, her vocabulary
only contained about 40 words. A normal two-year-old child picks
up 40 new words in a single week. Kamala's words were only
partly-formed and her grammar stilted.

At the age of 16, after nine years at the orphanage
Kamala had the mind of a three and a half year old,
demonstrating how mentally naked humans are when
born, how much we rely on society to shape us. Human
culture operates on the mind as "a large scale moulding
matrix, a gigantic conditioning apparatus" without which
we would remain at the level of animals.

http://www.feralchildren.com/en/showchild.php?ch=kamala

Wolf Children and the Bifold Mind
An extract from a chapter of The
Myth of Irrationality, by John McCrone
Copyright © 1993 John McCrone
*

A Fairy Scene

*

Oh wow,
the sun is changing my corner
into fairyland, falling at an angle,
making the imitation flowers and miniature
birds into a spring garden, changing the fake
snowflakes and crystal heart into luminous
ice as if Jack Frost himself was involved
in their creation, the chain becomes the
silver cord that binds spirit to body, this
is lovely, a fairy scene in an office, the
blue sunscreen with swimming fishes
lends the right touch, I love the
beauty of this so much!
*

A Few Eternal Moments

*

A sudden shaft of sunlight shines
a liquid pool on woodwork of
my desk, awakens surreptitious
memories of youth and lazy
autumn garden days in the
sun spent playing with mud

I am enchanted as it colours the
deep chocolate fair blonde, stare
transfixed as the ironwork table
blends into liquid gold, spend
a few moments outside of ever
linear time

enter a magic realm of the sun
created just for me – you see
why I know it is my special friend,
kissing me morning soft, enfolding
me in velvet warmth as I read
by the pool?
*

To The Reader

*

The world to me is meaningless unless
I may assign my own meaning, adding
to the fount of beauty in life

When you explained how soon this world
would be lost, I did not care for the planet,
fearing one thing only -

That you find no joy or laughter in my writing
my only talent and gift, I don’t care for any-
thing except the happiness

And joy of those I love, let me know whether
I am free to believe that my attempts to add
to your happiness do sometimes

Lead to success; only you have the ability
to contemplate my writing, your presence
means the world to me

I serve others by doing my duty implying nothing
but money, but you I can touch by weaving beauty
into words and thoughts

The only purpose that gives meaning to life
making my heart glow in love…
*

When We Were Small

*

I nearly missed ‘So You Think You Can
Dance’, took Nici to buy presents for her
birthday friends having a grass party, picked
up Tiaan and his friend after playing rugby
swerving through heavy traffic

Bought bread, prepared salad and vegetables
Tiaan made a fire, everyone promising I shall
be in time for the ONE program I love, the men
always watch sports, Nici has her beloved
Animax , I watch ‘Dance’

At seven-thirty-five I thought it was nine-thirty
embittered I called Nici; see, the men made me
miss my program, she showed me the time; but
as I complained and sighed, she ran away -
please let us eat so I can be ready

I want to watch ‘So You Think You Can Dance’
the one program that lets me escape my inability
to dance, I dream of Pratchett’s Death dancing a
tango with me, arms stretched like the prow of a
ship, just as my twin sister and I did

When we were small...
*

Menacing Muesli Misery

*
Neverland by Toby Forward, the ticking
crocodile ate Captain Hook, a computer
game character, The Driller, menacing
all, defeated by Father to save his kids

Peter Pan returns to Neverland alone
Tinkerbell became Tink wearing make-
up with four earrings in one ear, a stud
in one nostril, always angry and plotting

A modern rebel, JM Barrie’s Darling family
became Mr and Mrs Hack, learning the hard
way to allow their kids freedom to enjoy life
after making their lives a misery

Forcing muesli and sensible shoes on them
the parents discover the joys of corn flakes
and lovely shoes when their kids disappear,
love it that Mr Hack finds muesli disgusting!

[Read the book last night, lovely to discover
Mr Hack who backed his wife when she forced
the kids to eat disgusting muesli, had some
himself when the kids disappeared and dis-
covered to his horror how awful the stuff;
went out and bought them all kinds of corn
flakes with sugar; and Mrs Hack bought
them the shoes they prefer after forcing
ugly shoes on them before; the parents
should have been bonked over the head
long before then!]


“Neverland” by Toby Forward (Author), John Talbot
(Illustrator) Simon & Schuster, 1989
*

Spy-dreams

*
Hermien knows Skype while June is
discovering it, to me it felt like secret
spy activities, seeing the image moving
so strangely – Skype makes me feel we
really live in a holographic universe, we
really are fish in an aquarium, intercom-
nected and reconstructing images through
our laserbeam brains – what a wonderful
feeling as the world keeps shrinking, how
strange it is to LIVE James Bond movies
all I need now is a Q-fixed fountain pen
and various other gadgets to blow up the
world – and ALL my spy-dreams will be
fulfilled!
*

DoebeldabalDAM paDAM

*

Nothing can save me from this feeling, does not
help to cling to André Rieu’s humorous rendition
of the Harry Lime Theme, threatening, nostalgic,
sad, a lament, playing in my head

I am crying as the Theme keeps playing in my mind
sweet sorrow surfacing as I listen to the lines repeating
dabaDAAH badabaDAAH ping-poeng; dabaDAAH
badabaDAAH ping-poeng

Not the comedy played by the orchestra, not the manic
pianists and deranged flutists, can change the menacing
refrain, daBA daBA daBA daBA daBA daBA daBA tam
tam tam tam tam tamDAAM –

DoebeldabalDAM paDAM ping-poeng - the theme of a
killer, I shall put the melody away and listen to it later,
if the feeling persists, I shall know the real meaning
cannot be hidden by clownish tricks

However much I adore the laughter and fun…
*

Flutist Bonked Over The Head

*

Talk about bottled feelings, I love the comedy
André Rieu orchestrated on the Harry Lime
Theme, the zither player and his shenanigans,
repeating himself, the piano player interfering,
the flutist getting bonked over the head, evoking
the most delighted sense of amusement in the
members of the orchestra as well as the audience

Everything conspires to create the feeling of living
in the most adorable corner of the universe, I can
relive the feeling every time I listen to the song, my
idea of heaven is continuous wonderment and joy in
music, laughter and song; André Rieu will never know
how much happiness he brought into the world, senior
citizens in the old age home listening

With a bright twinkle in their eyes, mentally instable
patients are calmed, courses for French-speaking Africa
are enriched with his DVD’s - all Rieu wanted to do is
have fun with all kinds of music and share that experience
with people all over the world - he is still creating more
of these marvellous feelings and I am with him
for the ride!


'The Harry Lime Theme' played on a zither
accompanied by André Rieu’s Johann Strauss
Orchestra

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Third_Man_Theme

"The Third Man Theme" is an instrumental written
and performed by Anton Karas for the soundtrack to
the film The Third Man (1949), the song was
originally released in the U.K. in 1949, where
it was 'The Harry Lime Theme.'
*

Bottle This Feeling

*

Jamie Uys was a storyteller par excellence
the emotions he evokes in me with his movie
The Gods Must Be Crazy 2, two little Bushmen
children, slender and graceful, living in harmony
with nature in the Kalahari

Add soldiers from Angola and Cuba, a Doctor of
Corporate Law from New York, a veterinarian,
two elephant poachers and a hyena, an ostrich
guarding his eggs, a baboon and a few giraffes
a lion pride and meerkats

Low-key background music - and my heart melts,
I am putty in his hands, crying and laughing, re-
joicing and screaming, feeling like a balloon
inflating in delight, the two little Bushmen kids
got stuck in the poachers’ truck

Their father has to find them, in his travails he
meets the soldiers and Lena Farugia, Corporate
Law doctor, she managed to smash the light
plane that should have taken them out of the
Kalahari -while a rhinoceros, badger

And scorpion did damage to the characters - the
background music keeping the happy atmosphere
of cool detachment alive - I LOVE watching this;
love being manipulated by a brilliant dreamer
like Jamie Uys, I wish

I could bottle this feeling and take long
draughts - whenever required!
*


“Gods Must Be Crazy 2”
A movie made by Jamie Uys, South Africa,
following upon The Gods Must Be Crazy
*

Adorable Astrogenetic Leo

*

Mother is Leo, the Queen of Hearts
does not understand the strange
temperament of my Beowulf dad
a tactless Sagittarius, she thinks
all ways are her ways, curtsying
while speaking saves time, if you
cannot remember a word, say it
in French and sing for your life

Never connected with Grandma Alice
a Virgo perfectionist focused on de-
tails and organisation, talented yet
feeling inferior, beset with melancholy,
Mother never got along with her fiery
Aries first-born son who turned into
Conan the Barbarian, refusing to
pay homage to the Queen

Neither did she understand her free-
spirited Aquarian second son who be-
came Peter Pan and left Wonderland to
make his home in Neverland, she under-
stood her youngest Cancerian son even
less, why he suffered from depression she
could never fathom, nor did she connect
with her daughters, one a dreamer

The other a caring earth-mother, whose spirits
were squashed in the pioneer world of Calvinism,
my Mother Queen of Hearts regally wants to be
loved just like any White Queen has been –
I am proud of my Mother, she taught me
so much, I would never exchange her
for anyone, she is adorable just as
she is!


[My Mother Queen of Hearts have her birthday
in April which means counting back to her
Astrogenetic sign places her in Leo, and
this sign describes the essence of her
being perfectly.]
*

Warm And Fleecy (Rev.)

*

Uncomfortable clothes keep out the cold
and drive me mad – this morning I stole
Tiaan’s warm and fleecy top, combated
grey skies despair with favourite food

The comfort and joy of ubiquitous waffles
drowned in syrup and cream, decided to
look for things that will delight me this day
in seeking ideas on rational benevolence

My source text - two irrationally vengeful
senior citizens blaming a helpful bank for
their own bad choice of investment,
vilifying others for doing their bidding

As stocks fell the seniors raised hell, calling
fire and brimstone down on everyone for not
extracting them from their predicament,
resorting to emotional blackmail

frustrated in the extreme, using nasty
arguments and blameful behaviour instead of
admitting guilt and gratitude for help received,
makes me wish for a kindly firing squad

To put them out of their misery!
*

A Threatening Presence

*

Brought my document home, about a thousand
handwritten pages, or so it seems, I am still tired
though it must be mental fatigue, played Bad-
minton with Tiaan and I was fine

As I started to read my document, the feeling of
fatigue returned, I also have to stop reading my
book ‘The Mirror’- something is wrong with the
atmosphere, there is a threatening presence

A menace within the tale that makes me feel ill
taking refuge in the music of André Rieu, night-
mares last night, got up feeling tired, not feeling
safe and content, not feeling happy

Though everything is fine - only I am tired
all the time...
*

Too Tired To Roam

*

A slice of bread and I enter a state of
quiescence because of allergy symptoms
so fatigued by allergens, so depressed
but do I stop eating bread?

Not on your life, bread carries positive
connotations, poses a promise of eternal
bliss, did not the Lord himself – or the guy
who enacted the role

In the Mystery Play – bless bread as the
staple of life? The logical conclusion is
I am allergic to life, being tethered to the
here and now

Of space-time never works for my laser
light mind connected via the silver cord
to my wandering spirit, today even my
spirit is too tired to roam…
*

Frenzy Of Delighted Intrigue

*

It is raining again, creating a Magic Forest
feeling, although the sun mischievously
laughed with me an hour ago, Atreyou
has succeeded in passing the Sphinxes
in the Neverending Story playing through
my headphones, thunder sounding behind
the movie sound track in French – I use
every opportunity to prepare for French
conversation class

My poor letter to the President is sadly
neglected, I MUST focus my attention
like a laser beam, at present it is running
everywhere in a frenzy of delighted intrigue
I wish I could sing with the soprano in La
Traviata: Joy, joy, life is all about joy – before
Alfredo’s selfish father messed up her life,
of course!

Bastian must give the Impératrice in Fantasia
a new name, the story is nearly at an end,
once again the little boy saves human
imagination from an ignominious end…
*

A Piscean Neptune Moment

*

With Astrology for Dummies next to me
to assure me my love for Mystery is a
perfectly normal phenomenon, six books
from the Fantasy Section at the library
Mirror, Lost Farm, Neverland, Moonlight,
Tunnel Behind the Waterfall and The
Thorn Key

I am sitting at my desk in Seventh Heaven
the daydream that had me gliding down the
street during lunch as I went to the library
still sizzling in my thoughts and sloshing in
my head, two kind people informed me they
read my poems and liked what they saw

I am ecstatic, on top of all that, I still have the
biggest mystery of all to unravel, a secret who
is not self-aware, I must cradle it in its chrysalis
before the butterfly can break free; delighted
with life after briefly indulging in a Piscean
Neptune moment

I shall now try to finish translating a letter to the
President, how nonsensical when all these
beautiful thoughts are vying for place of
importance in my feelings!
*

*

Way Beyond Tomorrow

*

Perceptual beings with various vantage
points, irrespective of information available,
cannot see beyond vibrational limitations of
their relative situations, cannot live or have
experience outside their individual beliefs

Programmed by current civilisation to discern
only what we are taught is possible, rejecting
personal evidence of the miraculous, the so-
called supernatural, yet the fact of life itself is
a miracle, if we survive the incessant barrage

Of indoctrinating mal-information, if we choose
to follow our intuition instead of marching to the
beat of entrenched institutions, our world starts
to change in the most unexpected ways, we
decide where to live, in the sun or shade

In the past or way beyond tomorrow…
*

Desire Fuel The Fires

*

Emotion reflects the vibrational variance between
where we are and where we want to be, if out of
balance, we always seek ways to bring
ourselves into alignment

We can raise expectations to match desire or lower
desire to match expectations: I refuse to lower my
desires, preferring to fuel the fires, I am raising my
expectations regarding my work situation

I seek creativity and social interaction, not prolonged
isolation sitting in hermit-like seclusion, pondering
mysteries without opportunity to test a myriad new
conclusions - earning a salary

Doing a routine job, is a good moral exercise; but I
keep my desire for creative expression alive by
weaving ideas together, focusing on cosmology
and quantum science

As a mystical form of meditation created by
scientific gurus who inadvertently stumbled
upon ancient Buddhism while investigating
reality’s largest and smallest components

Satisfying desire for interaction by telling
my correspondents of all my
wonderful discoveries!
*

An Unsolved Mystery

*

Remember the song from Fiddler on the Roof
‘Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles’ well
I have finally discovered why you mean so
much to me, you are an unsolved mystery!

Every attempt to uncover your true feeling, to
ferret out your secrets, leads to a mystifying
dead end, my curiosity about your strange
behaviour is growing, when I try to find

A possible explanation for your weird attitude
your behaviour foils my boldest explanations
I’m mesmerised by so much mystery, riddles
refusing to be solved by Agatha Christie

Whenever the most obvious explanation is
explored, your replies destroy the logical
thoughts presented on the subject, you
escape every attempt to catch you

Within a definition, I shiver in fear when you
reply so violently to a kind query, convinced
so much fury must conceal a mind unhinged
a strange genius I cannot explore

But I love mysteries so much, the challenge,
the elusive quality you give to life, you add
the dimension of unlimited imagination to
my life – I adore that, thank you so much!

(I shall always love my own private mystery,
the best thing I have ever come across...)
*

You - And Only You -

*

“As many different worlds are being lived by
as many different perceivers of the world
as there are perceivers of worlds”

I love this, relativism at its best, I believe all
thoughts live forever in a realm that exists
within the contemplation of a super-con-
sciousness, humans love sharing ideas
because physical interaction is joyous

Every thought that passes through the mind
exists eternally, to archive our thoughts on
the Internet make them accessible to the
senses, even if nobody reads the words
we post, our dreams can be retrieved

To enjoy our own creations, when someone
else sings along, it multiplies the fun, we sing
when beautiful songs start playing in our hearts
I love to dance in rhythmic lines composed of
images which evoke delicious feelings

Stories, pictures, ideas and emotions formed within
a sonorous stream cascading through the mind, I
sing your song whenever you offer me diaphanous
images presented in delightful, luminous forms that
has never been conceived before

The sublime product of your creative mastery, your
song will sing eternally as long as your own aware-
ness has the song in mind - afterwards it will still
exist in non-physical consciousness for
infinity as well

Writing poetry is its own valid purpose and
you are justified doing it only for yourself,
sharing by means of physical reality with
another only intensifies the joy already
inherent in creation

You might regard the awareness of another con-
sciousness as the only validation for existence
and creation, but I have other ideas: it is great
when others pay tribute to your sublime poetry
but sharing is an optional bonus

Not sharing with anybody would not take a single
iota away from the magnificence and eternal
nature of a wonderful poetic creation – it is
just marvellous to see the joy of those who
manage to find access to the beauty

You make - but your own joy is paramount, your
angst about the probable limits of physical reality
and desire to share through sensory experience
motivate you to share the emotional delights you
- and only you - can bring about…
*

A Shadow Play Of Light

*

Information contained in coherent light
relates everything to all, networks of
light photons carry data throughout
every being almost instantly

Holograms are working models illustrating
how this is done through coherent light:
the information in molecules form
a full three dimensional image

Information in DNA can be used to image
the whole being’s composition, the body’s
core consists of light in flux spreading
information everywhere

Omnipresent particles moving faster than
light through bi-location and teleportation
or, if you like, all is linked, we are all
one, the grandeur of unity

Creating different perspectives
through a shadow play of light
and darkness making all the
links invisible…


Light Consciousness
http://2012rising.com/article/2012-zero-point-consciousness
*

Zero Point Field

*

We are ninety-nine per cent
empty space, a zero point field
infinite potential energy being
the quantum fabric of
existence

Non-local memory* within fields of
energy spread throughout entire
being - a radio receiving and
transmitting, no ghost en-
closed within

Everything is consciousness
creating reality, ordering
light into coherence…


*Memory is not confined to a single
location in the brain, no matter which
area of the brain is destroyed, animals
remember what was learnt before


Light Consciousness
http://2012rising.com/article/2012-zero-point-consciousness
*

Respect You, All You Do

*
I never blame you for mistakes or nag you when you drink
if irrational feelings overwhelm you my defence is immediate
explaining your weird behaviour, making peace with your
possessive jealousy masquerading as expediency

Yet when I err and walk away you attack, blaming me,
point unsatisfactory behaviour, reciting a litany of sins I am
prone to commit, delineating in which ways I let you down,
nagging and grumbling while drinking red wine -

Your alcohol consumption might equate to my ingesting
allergenic foodstuffs, yet while you are always tacitly
exonerated you blame me as soon as you can get in a
salvo because I did not seem compliant, did not agree

Hang on - I confessed I ate bread today, you simply changed
tack and attacked anew: How DARE I mention the allergy, I
have no right to hide behind that effect – though you can use
any excuse for doing as you please

I take a myriad of pills to combat symptoms,
soon I will be my old lenient self again, accept
all accusation and guilt, agree that it is me who
should be condemned

And you go free as the most innocent, loving person who
ever lived in this world; a basis for the respect that is due
to you – I insist on self-respect and respect for others
I shall respect you and all you do – while I am here...
*

Freedom From Fears

*

I like expressing my personality, but am too
dependent to do so freely; using information
for concrete purposes brings fulfilment while
theoretical academia brings only frustration -
like translation, it teaches me to keep a well-
written journal on everything that interests me

Trying to fly without family ties, without relation-
ships and love, led to failure in my youth - I need
family and a developed inner life to find the joy
not found in the outside world, changing all
human relations into family to make it work
for me, everyone I meet on street

Becomes my ally by virtue of sharing the same
space - romance, children and creative expression
expand my awareness while I can’t stand pointless
socialising, my soul feels lost in a social whirl,
group activities inhibit spiritual growth, my
highest goal in life is to love all

Without fear for the savage violence and aggression
discerned between the lines of the mind; a gruff tone
and raucous, strident voice scare me to death; but
I wish to learn acceptance of all modes of ex-
pression, especially those of strong people
like you who lead the way to liberation

And happiness in glorious freedom from the fears
that always bind my spirit...
*

Ruled By Our Emotions (Rev.)

*

Peter Schaffer’s film ‘Amadeus’ – the part where
Emperor Franz Joseph says Antonio Salieri was
the greatest composer Vienna has ever seen,
remembering my twin sister burst into tears at
this scene, could not stand Mozart despised

I cried at Mozart’s opera ‘The Magic Flute’
presented in a public theatre with Schikaneder,
Mozart drinking, looking degraded, losing his
status and dignity, we* both cried in the same movie,
but at different parts,

She lamented Mozart’s pain when humiliated by the
Emperor – I cried when Mozart gave in and lowered
standards; two Astrogenetic Cancers* ruled by our
emotions, yet different things move us; I want a hero
to be dignified while she wants a hero to be happy

I knew Mozart’s work endured, withholding idol-status
from him did not stop his work from gaining eternal
fame - I did not feel threatened by his lack of worldly
acclaim; she wanted him to be popular while he was
alive - but I think happiness is only found

In a small domestic circle,
popularity does not mean anything...


*My twin sister and I, Astrogenetic sign means counting
eight or nine months back from date of birth to find
probable date of conception as the fetus is much
more receptive to electro- magnetic influence
than the new-born baby
*

Spiritual Transformation

*
Woke up, sun shining, mist lifting from the
wet earth, ran outside, watched water-drops
glittering like the sheerest lace on the cycads
and ferns, the canopy of trees above my head
creating a forest green - kitchen disintegrating,
dishes everywhere, I cannot stop

Lying in the sun enjoying its magical touch, jumped
into the ice-cold pool, spent the whole morning in the
garden - came inside to read about teleportation of
sub-atomic particles, create pairs of photons, when
changing the state of one, the other also changes
immediately - through entanglement

Chinese researches used a high-speed camera to film
teleportation of objects in the laboratory - pills sealed
in a glass container teleported by a psychic to another
see-through container, proving solid materials can in-
terpenetrate each other - promising a spiritual trans-
formation beyond our wildest dreams

Yet I still must clean the kitchen…

“Spirit Communcation” Roy Stemman, Piatkus 2005
Quoted from pp. 266-268
*

Tears Of The Sky

*

Second of April, the saddest time of the
year, we commemorate the crucifixion
of Christ, a miracle play to illustrate un-
conditional forgiveness, fighting about
the reality of the characters portraying
the events is irrelevant, the beauty of
the loving attitude lived by Christ made
people think He must be God, the only
reality is the symbolism of loving totally

Though the people enacting the scene
only assume roles to illustrate the des-
tructive effect of jealousy, vengeance
and hatred, I cry about the story every
year, the pain experienced by a mother
losing her son makes me hate this day,
I can’t wait for the resurrection scene
the enactment of joyous victory over
death and decay, the triumph of hope

And trust in the accomplishment of the
highest love, I explain my sadness by
mentioning imaginary woes to hide the
real reason for fear of derision, it would
seem like affectation, yet I cry with every-
one suffering when aware of their pain
only when anguish is real can we learn
empathy and true compassion, I make
peace with my constricting throat

And heartache - caused by the symbol
of crucifixion, the rain falling outside
becomes the tears of the sky crying
with me this year…
*

Sizzling With Life

*

Brought my memory stick home
it wouldn’t open, cell phone left at
the office, library closed, a walk in
the garden, filigree trees etched
against a luminous sky

The long Easter weekend of the most
beautiful morality play, though I can’t
fit into organized religion, I shall always
apply Wurmbrand’s words - if the Nativity
scene were only a fantasy

I would leave reality to live the Lord’s Prayer
in the most enchanting dream - as quantum
physics makes clear, turning our attention
onto a subject changes us, I love the
difference this makes in my life

Just as we change the things we attend to -
if that is true, the books I read over and over
must be different too, Jane Austen never
knew Elizabeth Bennet would forever
influence ideas about heroines

Charlotte Bronte never suspected how much
I would cry about Jane Eyre, stories that grew
in power and strength, just as quantum physics
itself is sizzling with life and delight when
I turn my gaze onto its wonderful

Mystical, metaphysical truths…
*

Light - Mystical Symbol

*

Light - a component of the body
information maintaining human
cells carried by photons of light
moving all through the body
through channels called
microtubules

Framing cells in hexagonal
lattices, tiny hollow tubes of
indefinite length – 13 strands
spiralling around the cell’s
hollow core, radiating
outward

With the amazing
ability to conduct pulses
of light photons in a network
which carry information recorded
in light, to all parts of the
human body

Light - mystical symbol
core element - of our
own selves…


http://2012rising.com/article/2012-zero-point-consciousness
*

Music & Song, Dancing Delight…

*

Oh Joy Is Me – as you will see
when contemplating the marvels
of translation where I consistently
choose the wrong term given that
I am too obtuse to learn anything
whatever I do, it is true, an
assembly line translator I can
never become, I am a maverick
content to do tricks while
dreaming about a new universe
where words will be the
embodiment of music
singing in dancing
delight…
*