Dread and Guilt

Terry Pratchett said we wake up in
the morning with existential dread
of fifty eight per cent, randomised
guilt of ninety four per cent, I don’t
agree; only in the morning?

In my experience it is a process con-
tinuing all day long, guilt and dread
alternately peaking every hour with
plateaus of exhausted peace in be-
tween, I try to tell myself

Trying our best is good enough, but
as boring texts follow in succession
realisation of our total inability to
influence the universe grows
overwhelming, no chance of

Forcing any moment to its crisis, no op-
portunity to save ourselves from falling
headlong into the blackest pit, the worse
for being boring, no feelings of burning
self-reproach

For dreadful deeds to fuel the fires of
hellish pain that make the demonic such
an exciting place; no, for me hell is grey,
the boredom of the ages, the manacles
of repressive thought

Keeping us tethered to our chairs while
the planet turns forever - no hope of an
Armageddon to release us from our
suffocating destiny, mediocre human
beings living average lives

Amidst the debris of long-lost dreams…


“Lords and Ladies” Terry Pratchett; Victor Gollancz,
1992, p. 42