Just Call Me Alceste Diogenes

The wild genie of feelings has been let
out of the bottle again - inadvertently –
I shall have to kill it and I have no taste
for murder and mayhem right now; to
self-destruct on order to become a
living corpse is such a schlep…


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Reasons To Stay Motivated

1. Confidence - How did it feel after that first jog around
the block?

[The asthma attack was horrible, thank you. The wheezing
and coughing – the burning on my skin was not as bad, in
comparison, I think. But now that I mention it – it was
awful enough. ]

Or when you finally walked the stairs at work without losing
your breath?

[Hasn’t happened yet. I don’t think it will still happen in this century.]

The more you accomplish, the more you’ll believe in yourself.

[Well, I accomplish something and feel like Alice in Wonderland
– delighted with life. Then the next event comes up and before I
can stop myself, I turn into Quosimodo, hunchback and claws
and everything, and the joy is gone. Gone is the happiness and
belief I had won before. No use doing it again – it will just be lost
until I can stop this morphing into Quasimodo. By the way, I think
this is Quasimodo typing here, so it’s a lost cause in any case.
But thank you for the advice, you are a nice guy.]

2. Fit into that dress hanging in your closet for two years, waiting
for a night on the town. All it takes is that extra mile and stay on
track. Before you know it, those two years will be ancient history.

[No, no dress in the cupboard. And no night on the town in the
offing either. I cannot up the ante right now, somehow I hate
the places where people hang out. Pity, but there you have
it. I am a self-confessed misanthropist - unsocial misogynist,
just call me Alceste Diogenes.]

3. Make the week easier: is the week taking forever? Then you
are not working towards anything. With a goal in mind, cook that
healthy dinner or go to the gym - the week will go faster and
be more enjoyable.

[No, it feels as if every MOMENT is taking forever in a time
freeze, as if I am caught in molasses. After cooking and eating
that healthy dinner, I ended up with migraine and tried to press
my eyeballs through my eye-sockets.

Going to the gym made me feel depressed, I tried to read
a book while doing leg-lifts – it did not work. The week is
going more slowly and is less enjoyable.]

4. Get a purpose - a good reason to get out of bed: Eat a
healthy breakfast to jump start the day, jog, and read
the newspaper.

[The healthy breakfast caused a sinus attack with tinnutis
and backache and Christophe sent the newspaper by
email. Reading about überelend, exploiting politicians
and fighting tribes in Africa gave me heartburn.]

5. For your kids and grandkids – healthier, longer life to
watch your kids grow and spoil the grandchildren.

[The noise of grating voices made me run away, cannot
stand kids who decide to be as obnoxious as possible, as
for grandkids – what kind of noise will they make? I shudder
to think about it…]

6. Power of momentum - builds quickly, leads to great results.
Working for the goal and keeping your streak alive.

[Somehow my defective mind gets going at times; just when it
cruises along happily, my spirit wakes up and destabilises the
whole spiel – life is a schlep and there is nothing for it but
to lament the result of not being able to escape into the bliss-
ful existence of an urangutang like the librarian of Unseen
University; just not escaping into the Discworld is pain enough…]

7. The ‘wow’ effect - run into someone from high school, eyes light up;
gasp, "Wow, you look great!"

[I think all the kids I went to school with are dead – except
for the one who has Alzheimer’s today.]

8. Spread the spark; show friends and family how hard
you’re working to make them wonder how they
can reach their own goals.

[I keep reading and summarizing books and
writing off-key poetry, trying to be a poetaster
while delighting in bizarre constructions such
as McGonagall’s “glaring with love-beaming
eyes” – but nobody follows suit; my family
and friends refuse to read my wild doggerel
and little limericks and I cannot decipher the
riddle – why will they not read me to see what
I say about everybody?]

9. Keep gaining experience - The more you do,
the more you learn and understand, discover
which tactics work best - like weeding - not the
most enjoyable activity, but nets you beautiful
flowers. Stick with it - soon all will be flowers
for you.

[I do my best, yet cannot convince anybody to accept
my Astogenetic theory, based on Maurice Cotterel’s
brilliant deductions regarding the sun’s electromagnetic
particle-emission effect on sea-slugs and flowers - if
only I could determine why that is…

And I try to master the art of translation – but then fall
asleep or scream because the subjects and style of
writing are so atrocious, even adding a spoonful of
sugar – and I add boiled sweets galore – and a song
to help the job along – do not tame my spirit which
keep clamouring for something different
all the time.]

[Thank you for offering new and original advice
trying to improve our little lives - by showing us
how you do what you do, write journalistic articles
of everlasing value - pointing out the sun to your
lesser-endowed brethren and sistren like yours
truly – but oh, there is no hope when the gestalt
gets confused between dimensions and tries to
live the spiritual life in a material world where
sound is subservient to meaning which is
flavoured by a dose of John Wayne
added to every exquisite dream…]

Consciousness Stream - Confessions


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articles.asp?id=196&page=3