My Twin [Revised]

She remembers unhappiness at age ten,
wanted to die, cried nights, an indictment
on everyone near – especially me who
slept fingers in ears to quietly dream

Why she was so unhappy I cannot say,
I lived life in between, mind empty-black
and sad, lonely until I read books, stories
or consummate facts

I backed out her world, frustrated mother
screaming hysterically, fury mad dad –
our loving Grandma overwrought,
overworked, fatigued

I lived my life invisibly, reading quietly,
playing imaginary games – around me
all hell was let loose, there was no
way of avoiding risible chaos

My sister could not escape, she was
punished for being visibly alive and
not disappearing like me, what can
I tell her today?

I am happy to not have felt my own
life, hearing about it from her mouth,
the hostility, anger and distance
I am so glad I was away mentally

Living in books – and pure fantasy…